Kids biting in daycare

[aprilvaca04]

Has anyone had experience with their children getting bit at daycare? Or their child biting others? I was just wondering how either situation was handled by both the parents and the daycare provider.

[Christine]

My son bit his friend once. He has also been bitten. I just got a report at the end of the day and it didn't happen again.

I was always told that the "biter" was usually the child who was being dominated in some way and the biting was the way that they fought back or expressed some sort of frustration. I don't know that this is always the case but I remember reading that once.

[pixiegoose]

I was bitten when I was in daycare. I was about 9 months old (if I'm recalling the story correctly) and sitting on a blanket on the floor when an 18 month old (or so) came over, pushed me down, and bit me on the face. My dad came to get me and I accompanied him to the rest of his briefings that day. The "biter" was kicked out of the daycare, as it was apparently not his first offense.

Originally Posted by Christine

I was always told that the "biter" was usually the child who was being dominated in some way and the biting was the way that they fought back or expressed some sort of frustration. I don't know that this is always the case but I remember reading that once.

Definitely not the case in my experience- there is really no way for a non-mobile 9 month old to dominate an 18 month old.

[Debbie7452]

My daughter was bitten repeatedly by a child when she was in daycare (2 years old). The first few times, the daycare seemed genuinely concerned with stopping the biter...no matter what it took. When it continued to happen, I thought the biter would get kicked out, but Nooooo. The Director discussed the problem with me and told me my DD was too "passive" and that was the reason she was victimized by this awful child (the kid would come across the room and deliberately attack my child who was playing independently. Once she got bitten on the stomach!).

I took my two girls out of there within 2 days of that coversation. The daycare kept the biter! After we changed daycares, she was never bitten again. I wished I had done it sooner...

Sorry if you this problem. I still get mad about it and my DD is now 15!

[belle&sebastiansmom]

My friend's son (who is now 10) was asked to leave daycare before his first birthday because he was a biter. Evidently, the workers there called him Sharky. She said he chewed through the headboard on her bed and even the window sill. He wasn't a discipline problem, he just gnawed on anything and everything.

[NotUrsula]

[hanging head in shame] DD is a biter.

She's 28 mos. She's been bitten a few times, and a few times she has bitten others. Obviously, we have been working hard on getting her NOT to do it, and for the most part we are succeeding. As her language skills improve, she seems to have fewer urges to do it, but she's not completely past it yet.

Toddlers have been dismissed from this daycare for biting, but they do give them a chance to get past the stage, as long as they are not doing it unprovoked.

The teachers discipline for it, and we do, too. We instruct them to tell when it happens, and to use their words when dealing with another child. Essentially, just LOTS and LOTS of repetitions of "NO BITING! BITING IS BAD!!" Kids who get bitten get ice and lots of TLC from the teachers.

[luvsJack]

Some kids bite, some kids don't and they bite for a multitude of reasons. All of it normal development stages.

The center should be concerned with stopping the biting though. There a number of techniques that can help stop biting with the most important one being keeping a biter close (like within grabbing distance at all times) of the caregiver/teacher. We had a one or two that were so bad about biting that we reluctantly put the child in a high chair (with some toys) when the caregiver was going to be busy changing diapers, washing hands or some of the other routine things that will take their attention. We never put a kid out for biting, but we never lost one because of being bitten either.

A biter like Debbie7452 mentioned is usually extremely aggressive and is the child that the caregiver should very rarely let go of. I would have directed my caregivers to hold this child's hand when going from place to place (like from the table for lunch to the mats for nap time), put the child in a high chair or other safe place while changing, washing, etc. and even when outside playing the caregiver should stay right beside the child at all times (we called it shadowing). Its really the only way to keep a child that aggressive to from biting. Most of the time after a little while of this they move on from that state and stop trying to bite altogether.

[luvsJack]

Originally Posted by NotUrsula

[hanging head in shame] DD is a biter.

She's 28 mos. She's been bitten a few times, and a few times she has bitten others. Obviously, we have been working hard on getting her NOT to do it, and for the most part we are succeeding. As her language skills improve, she seems to have fewer urges to do it, but she's not completely past it yet.

Toddlers have been dismissed from this daycare for biting, but they do give them a chance to get past the stage, as long as they are not doing it unprovoked.

The teachers discipline for it, and we do, too. We instruct them to tell when it happens, and to use their words when dealing with another child. Essentially, just LOTS and LOTS of repetitions of "NO BITING! BITING IS BAD!!" Kids who get bitten get ice and lots of TLC from the teachers.

We did the "lots of TLC from the teachers" too but tried to completely ignore the biter. I would put the biter in time out (still keeping him/her close by) and then give lots of attention to the one bitten. You could always tell when it was getting to the biter, because they would usually start trying to slowly get to the teacher and tell the other child "sorry" or they would start crying.

[mickeyboat]

DD9 was a biter at day care. She bit the son of a really good friend of mine. We worked on it at home, but there was little I could do. It needed to be addressed at the time, and she needed closer supervision.

She did grow out of it once her language skills got better. But I felt terrible about it for a long time.

[sunnyday123]

DD only bit once-her Father. She bit his shoulder hard enough to leave red teeth marks. I'm still suprised she didn't break the skin. He yelled, "THAT HURT!" And she said, "Oh, sorry."

I was hysterical. She just walked off and started playing with her kitchen.

[Debbie7452]

Originally Posted by NotUrsula

[hanging head in shame] DD is a biter.

She's 28 mos. She's been bitten a few times, and a few times she has bitten others. Obviously, we have been working hard on getting her NOT to do it, and for the most part we are succeeding. As her language skills improve, she seems to have fewer urges to do it, but she's not completely past it yet.

Toddlers have been dismissed from this daycare for biting, but they do give them a chance to get past the stage, as long as they are not doing it unprovoked.

The teachers discipline for it, and we do, too. We instruct them to tell when it happens, and to use their words when dealing with another child. Essentially, just LOTS and LOTS of repetitions of "NO BITING! BITING IS BAD!!" Kids who get bitten get ice and lots of TLC from the teachers.

So sorry it sounds like I'm saying all biters are awful...not at all! Biting happens...but this particular child couldn't be stopped and needed a different environment with more attention or something.

I was mostly mad at the Daycare Director who blamed my child's quiet demeanor for the problem. Sorry if it sounded different. I couldn't believe they lost two well behaved kids to keep the biter (she was biting quite a few others also), but that's what happened. Good luck to all parents on both sides of this issue.

[Rora]

I used to bite kids all the time, according to my mother.

My parents and the daycare decided that my biting pretty much meant that I was annoyed with the kids in my group, wasn't getting enough stimulation in the class and it was time for me to move up to the next age group.

Apparently, this happened often but moving up to the next group always worked.

Good luck!!

[DVCisME]

My son was bite three times in daycare. The daycare acted like they were doing something about it in the beginning. And then acted like it was no big deal. When we held a meeting with the director she informed us that the biter's parents were a teacher and owned their own buisness. That is when we knew we were done. I don't care what the parents did, but I cared that my son was having a bite and welt on his hand for hour after I picked him uo.
Best of luck. I don't think it is a personal matter, but I do think there should be precautions.

[RunningGirl]

I work at a preschool. First off, if a child is bitten (or hurt in any way) but it's not seriously enough to call a parent immediately, an incident report will go home with the child explaining what happened and how it was treated. The name of the biter is NOT included. We also keep a copy of this on file.
The parent of the biter will also be informed. We have a 3 bites and you're out rule. Once the teachers are aware of a kid with this problem (pretty common) they'll be extra alert to try and avert the circumstances that cause the child to bite. I don't believe we've ever had anyone get to 3 bites, but we've had several bite twice!

[ZachnElli]

I've got 3 kids and 2 were biters, both my boys, not my girl. For both my boys it had to do with being frustrated and as their communication skills got better, the biting stopped. In other words, once they could tell on the other kid (taking their toy, hitting them first, not wanting to share, etc.) the biting stopped. It's been harder with my youngest (he's 4) because he is having speech and language issues, but he is in the school district's preschool for this issue now, no longer in daycare (but that is because I'm unemployed ). My youngest was also bitten in daycare and they would fill out a report and the biter's parents and the bitee's parents had to sign it. They never threatened to kick him out. My oldest wasn't in daycare, he just used his cousin (same age) as a chew toy, they are 14 now and we love to tease them both about it!