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Old 10-07-2009, 10:11 AM   #61
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Hi Amanda,

Thinking about you today and hoping the transition to the hospice goes well and helps him be comfortable. Glad to hear you guys are take the opportunity to talk and talk and talk......
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Old 10-07-2009, 10:17 AM   #62
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Amanda, lifting Miles, you and Hayley up in prayer in the days ahead. Blessings to you all during this most difficult time. Praying for peace, comfort and Gods strength for you.
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Old 10-10-2009, 10:49 AM   #63
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Lovely Miles

Miles passed away at just before 3am this morning. The hospice had set us up with a family room and Hayley and I hadn't left his side all the time he was there. The nurses had set a bed up so that I could sleep by his side last night, and we fell asleep holding hands. It was the first time I had slept since we got there on Wednesday morning, and I think he was waiting for me to settle so that he could slip away calmly.

He wasn't in any pain and was very calm at the end. He was heavily sedated, but even before then he hadn't really been properly alert for days. I think he was ready to go last week, he was so very very tired, but he wanted to let his Mum's birthday pass on the 7th first. He told the doctors on Wednesday that he was too tired to fight anymore and that although he hadn't been ready at home, he felt calmer at the hospice. He said he was scared to die and felt as if the doors were closing on him, but that he thought it might be nice when they finally did. He never said he was suffering, he was always so brave and didn't want us to be upset, but he had been struggling to take even the smallest breath for a couple of weeks.

He came round briefly on Thursday and told Hayley and I how how much he loved us both and that he was sorry he couldn't stay with us any more. He said he had the best years anyone could wish for and never dreamed he could be so happy. He told Hayley how proud he was of her everyday and that we should try to think of him happily and not be too sad for too long, he would always be by our sides. He said that he thought they were coming for him now so he wanted to tell us bye-bye, then drifted back off to sleep. He woke again very briefly that night and waved his fingers at me and smiled, then on Friday took his oxygen mask of to say I love you and we had chance to just give him a little kiss, and although he wasn't awake I am sure he knew what he was doing.

He was such a lovely man, a wonderful husband and a fantastic Dad, and it's so hard that only 13 weeks ago he still OK. He lived for 7 weeks 2 days from his diagnosis. We were on holiday at the end of April having a wonderful time with no idea that even the slightest thing was wrong. I guess in some ways it is a blessing that it was so quick, but that doesn't make it any easier. We were so lucky to have had him with us, and there is never enough time for anyone, but our time was so very short... we just feel broken.

Hayley and I are at my parents at the moment just shuffling around trying things to distract us while we build up the courage to go back home, so I decided to take the opportunity to tell you what had happened. Hope I haven't gone on too much, but it helps so much to write it all down.

Thanks to everyone here for your support, so many of you coping with your own tragedies too... I don't have anyone in my life who understands how it feels to have the plans for the rest of your life erased at such an early age. I know that everyone has to go, but it's so unfair that the best are taken from us so young.

Amanda x
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xx In loving memory of my wonderful Husband Miles 1968-2009 Gone but never, ever forgotten... We miss you so much xx

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Old 10-10-2009, 11:00 AM   #64

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Amanda I'm so sorry. Take comfort in the fact that your husband is now at peace and without pain. We'll be here for you in the days and weeks to come, and hope you come here for strength, to vent or just to cry whenever you need to. My sympathies to you and your family.
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Old 10-10-2009, 11:18 AM   #65
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Amanda, I'm so very sorry for your & Hayley's loss of Miles. It's so very hard to even think after such a tragedy. I found my children to be a great gift from my DH after I lost him to cancer. I hope you & Hayley can help each other deal with your grief.
Knowing that Miles is now at peace is a blessing. He no longer has to deal with the cancer.
Please let us know how you & Hayley are doing. Your friends here on the boards understand how difficult this time is for the both of you. God Bless.
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Old 10-10-2009, 11:37 AM   #66
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I am so sorry for your loss. You all continue to be very much in my thoughts and prayers.

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Old 10-10-2009, 11:53 AM   #67
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Thinking of you and Hayley......

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Old 10-10-2009, 02:46 PM   #68

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Oh Amanda, I am so sorry for your loss. You and Hailey are in my prayers - it is never easy. He is not suffering anymore.

My bil's doctors just told him to go home basically since there is nothing else they can do for him and gave him 3-4 months. They are of course in panic mode and are looking for other options/opinions, etc. It is so hard on everyone - especially the spouse, children and parents.

Hugs to you and take one day at a time.
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Old 10-10-2009, 03:27 PM   #69
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I am so very sorry for your loss.
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Old 10-10-2009, 03:46 PM   #70
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Amanda, I am so sorry for your loss You and Hayley are in my thoughts and prayers.

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Old 10-10-2009, 03:50 PM   #71
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Amanda, I'm so very sorry your beloved Miles has passed. Such sad news. I'll add you all to my prayers.....those prayers are getting too long lately. It's all so sad.

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Old 10-10-2009, 05:12 PM   #72
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Oh I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.
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Old 10-10-2009, 08:02 PM   #73
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Amanda I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious Miles. I will keep you and Hayley in my prayers in the days ahead.
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Old 10-10-2009, 10:03 PM   #74
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Amanda, I am so sorry for your loss of Miles. Even though I do not know you, I am crying for you and for Haley and can only imagine the immense pain that you are feeling. I would like to send you a warm hug and want you to know that people across the globe are thinking of you and praying for you tonight. How much your lives have changed in such a short time. Miles was a very brave man and so are you and Haley. He will always be with you. He is in your hearts always and will live on forever in your daughter Haley. May you find peace in knowing that Miles no longer suffers in pain and struggles for breath, and he has gone to a better place. You and Haley now have your very own Angel watching over you. Please keep us posted on how you are both doing as you return to your home and your life without Miles. I will keep you in my thoughts and my prayers.
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Old 10-10-2009, 11:00 PM   #75
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May your memories comfort you. God Bless you and Haley and may he give you peace and strength.
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