Disney Information Station Logo

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Disneyland > Disneyland Trip Reports
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
 
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS UpdatesDIS email updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 10-27-2009, 08:47 PM   #256
mnmrmustard
DIS Veteran
 
mnmrmustard's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,921

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustAKid View Post
Ooooooh Mooooooolly, where arrrrrrrrrrrre youuuuuuuu?
Yeah, we want more TR!
__________________
1976 - Disneyland ~ 2002 - Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure ~ 2005 - Disneyland ~ 2008 - Walt Disney World - SeaWorld/Discovery Cove ~ 2009 - Disneyland ~ 2011 - Walt Disney World/Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure ~ 2012 - Walt Disney World/Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure
mnmrmustard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-2009, 09:52 PM   #257
kaoden39
Prayers and pixie dust from your friends on the DIS
Hugs
I have been flipping all around the internet
 
kaoden39's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Fairfield, CA
Posts: 30,129

Molly I hope everyone is okay.
kaoden39 is offline   Reply With Quote
|
The DIS
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 10-28-2009, 05:27 PM   #258
bumbershoot
DIS Veteran
 
bumbershoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma WA
Posts: 45,676

Sorry guys. Just didn't feel like updating. Tired. And today I'm angry at the world; last night had a "last straw" fall in the form of my MIL being stupid, and everything just came down on my heart and mind...

OMG I just saw all the replies. mnmr, I'm in awe.

Thanks for the comment(s?) on the wedding pic. It's funny, when we first got them...well, we saw the proofs and picked all the pix for the wedding album, and I was in that "are you fat or are you pregnant" stage...I loved all the artsy shots. Tilted cameras, not everything in focus (purposely), etc etc...and all of the parents HATED it.

Well, the album we got was one where the openings for the pictures can be custom cut out...so an off kilter picture can be "straightened" by just cutting a funky shape, etc. And the parent albums weren't like that.

And lo and behold, 6+ years later, as I go to order some nice prints for the house (sorry, but $35 for a 5x7 was a bit much for our own house, though we got some for family members), the off kilter, not totally focused, thing is driving me MAD.

E is doing better. I guess he's 5 days into his antibiotics. Did I mention we had to pay out of pocket for them? Though I realized what I could have done to help with that. Basically, the liquid for kids contains artificial colors, and very likely flavors/sweeteners. And if I know my dried-to-be-reconstituted sweeteners, that's corn syrup solids, and colors may or may not cause reactions, so that was just not happening. Then the powder was only put in gelatin caps, and that's disgusting IMO.

I had to find a compounding pharmacy, but they are out of our insurance network, and it turns out that our plan absolutely does NOT cover out of network places. So I got to pay $40. Which actually should have been $60, but I guess when I called them that SECOND time to "get a more accurate price" on them, the pharmacist didn't actually look it up...so when I got there, I got the "we quoted you 40 so that's what you will pay, but if you need a refill it'll be 60" line. Which was SO nice of them, but seriously, if an OOP person calls a second time for a more accurate price, do them the favor of actually checking on it. And the thing I'd do in the future would be to get the prescription from a covered pharmacy for the copay, then bring it in there and pay a few bucks (I assume $10) to have them put it in the cellulose caps.

Turns out that DS can swallow pills on his own. I knew he could with help, but after Robert basically caused a cap to open on E's tongue and the freakout that ensued, I decided that E could try to do it by himself, and he can. So that's good to know.



OK I'm trying to remember where I put my notes on the trip. What was I writing on????

We're on my b'day (the first day of the recap/reply-extraordinaire dude), we haven't yet entered DCA...here are my receipts, I'll open photobucket...but where are the notes?????
__________________
-molly + robert + eamon (10!!)

DLR '05-'09 found within this link
DLR 7,9,12 2012 Universal Feb '12 DLR Dec '11 and Feb '12

Made weight goal 1yr8m8days after starting...currently working to maintain 85 lb loss thanks to Weight Watchers!
bumbershoot is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2009, 07:09 PM   #259
bumbershoot
DIS Veteran
 
bumbershoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma WA
Posts: 45,676

I'm going to start this, without my notes, without even remembering what on earth my notebook looked like, figuring that I'll remember and find them later. I'll either add in here, or add in info in a later post, or maybe both, when I find the silly notes.

******************

So the thing about getting to gates early so you don't encounter long waits for the first few+ rides is that...it means...long waits before the park opens. And that's OK; I'd rather hang out before the park opens and get more rides done total in a day, than sleep in and not do as many. But it's still worth knowing.

And it's worth reminding your 5 year old of. 5 times inside an hour. Especially for DCA, because you wait, then only get one ride available, then wait again! OK maybe I said it so often b/c I needed the reminding too.

While waiting, even though we were first there, because we didn't wait in line near Mr "we probably won't open the gates until a few minutes before 10 anyway" Cast Member, we were probably the 4th family in line. But that allowed us to meet a lovely group of women, 3 or maybe even 4 generations. They were SO nice. I wanted them to adopt me.

At last the gates opened (right around 9:30). We had talked about maybe having one adult wait at the Grizzly area rope while the other two went to get FPs and maybe even ride Soarin', but ultimately we all just went.

This was possibly the first time we stood in the proper line for Soarin'. No FP, no Single Rider (never did Rider Switch for it as far as I can recall), just line. Why? Because we were among the first in, that's why. Still, we had to wait. Just a little moment, but enough for E to show us what he looks like as a bat.




Now I didn't notice this until I started working on the report once home, but his legs were SO skinny. In fact, it's that picture and another one of a moment before that probably convinced me it was time to seek some help or reassurance with his physical state. He doesn't have big lower legs, but he doesn't normally have scrawny ones, and that pic really freaked me out. He had been so sick for those two weeks, had a couple days of being better, then here we were, pushing him again, and his body just said "I need a time out"! In the last couple days I can tell he put those lost pounds on again, just from how heavy he is when we're goofin' in the house and I pick him up.

You can also see that his mouth is getting redness around it. That was actually much worse in person.


It was a good hangliding flight, and I remembered to cover my sensitive ears right before the military jets go by. Whew.

On the way out, I got FPs for later while the guys got the stroller, and up the hill we went! We weren't too far back, and when the rope dropped we got there just fine. At some point, I believe, that day, Robert got me an iced latte from the coffee stand there...ever since Toocherie introduced me to it I've enjoyed getting my caffeine from there...it's quite good. I don't think that moment was right then, but at some point on this trip we went there...mmmmm.

Of course we got to TSMM and had a great time! It truly is amazing how fast that line grows; if you're there first off, you can see it growing behind you, and even in front, if you watch for the CMs changing the chains around. We had a great time, even better for not having much of a line.



While writing, other things have been going on, and I'm really frustrated by the computer right now so I gotta step away. And hopefully I'll find that dumb old notebook.
__________________
-molly + robert + eamon (10!!)

DLR '05-'09 found within this link
DLR 7,9,12 2012 Universal Feb '12 DLR Dec '11 and Feb '12

Made weight goal 1yr8m8days after starting...currently working to maintain 85 lb loss thanks to Weight Watchers!

Last edited by bumbershoot; 11-15-2009 at 02:45 PM.
bumbershoot is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2009, 07:12 PM   #260
bumbershoot
DIS Veteran
 
bumbershoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma WA
Posts: 45,676

The other thing you can see in that pic is that I probably should have brought his coat instead of just that one sweater, and also, I was not the one that picked out his clothes that day. I was in pain just looking at his color combo, and for me that's really saying something (I still believe that rust orange and periwinkle go just fine together, for instance).
__________________
-molly + robert + eamon (10!!)

DLR '05-'09 found within this link
DLR 7,9,12 2012 Universal Feb '12 DLR Dec '11 and Feb '12

Made weight goal 1yr8m8days after starting...currently working to maintain 85 lb loss thanks to Weight Watchers!
bumbershoot is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2009, 08:07 PM   #261
ashpinoza
disneyland VET!
 
ashpinoza's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 330

i was reading through your TR and noticed you saying some stuff about your son being ill so i went to previous pages to see why, i saw the word cabergoline and of course from experience knew the word, so i continued to find you saied he has a pituitary tumor! first i am so sorry to you and him, because again, experience, it is awful to have. i had one. it was shrunken of course, and they sometimes grow back rapidly during or after pregnancy or after going off the medications. i beleive mine may be slowly growing back though hope not, dont wanna have to pay for this medication again! i took parlodel. and i have never taken cabergoline but its nasty like parlodel. parlodel had this one side effect, can make you instantly fall asleep! how insane is that? it reallllly helped me though. i had headached and blurred vision, breast milk, infertility, soooo tired, and so much more before they treated me. tell me about your sons, is it benign? does it run in your family, have they done parlodel or just cab? so sorry its a nasty thing to go through but he will get better! also him losing weight, i did the opposite and gained 40 lbs in 3 years. then lost it easy peasy after treating. i sympathize with you and him, its horrible. but he will be fine im sure!
__________________



ashpinoza is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2009, 08:12 PM   #262
bumbershoot
DIS Veteran
 
bumbershoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma WA
Posts: 45,676

Oh, sorry for the confusion. My husband has a prolactinoma...my son was just plain old sick.


Did more than skim your reply, editing to reply more.

DH's endo went with cabergoline/dostinex instead of bromocriptine/parlodel because of a couple reason i can't remember right now, but I know I was glad of it because the literature said that bromocriptine can make surgery more difficult, or even impossible, to remove the tumor, if the drugs don't work. I've thought long and hard about why it would...all I can come up with is that perhaps it makes it more diffuse (or "squishy" in my thoughts, LOL) so you can't get it out? Hubby's is a big one, 20mm, but then he has a big noggin. Oddly, his prolactin levels are nowhere near as high as I have read they can get.

But he'd had symptoms of it for THREE years, and no one would do hormone level checks on him, even though at one point he had a cyst in his "chest" that was actually producing fluid...the MDs he went to for that embarrassed and shamed him to a stunning degree, he couldn't go back for the biopsy b/c he was so ashamed, and they *NEVER* called back out of concern or trying to schedule an appt. NOT ONCE. Anyway, I mention the 3 years b/c I wonder if it had been higher at one point, and had started coming down...or some such thing (I believe the body is amazing and can do astonishing things, when given enough time). Because the length of time of symptoms, and its size, don't go along with the relatively low levels of prolactin.

And yes, it makes him SO sleepy. It works by sort of helping dopamine along, and sleepiness makes sense from what I remember of dopamine from my neuro classes. His symptoms have changed a bit as he gets used to taking it...he's now up to a pill per week, and the last two weeks he will have a massive headache on the day after he takes it, then the following day he could sleep ALL day if possible. Since that day falls on Saturday, extra sleep has worked for him, but he really doesn't like sleeping all day. I figure the headache and sleepiness make sense.

Interestingly, for most of his adult life until he fell into the swing of having married a sleepy person (I like to sleep in as long as possible, though I don't like naps), he only needed maybe 3 hours of sleep a night. Didn't drink coffee, was alert and awake and aware...it's just all very interesting when you think of his endocrine system...if I were his endocrinologist, I'd be studying him and writing a paper at the end of all this...but then I find the body interesting to begin with.

Along with this prolactinoma, he found that his LH and testosterone were drastically low, so he's now started injecting HCG to help his body increase those things. Insurance would have been happy to just pay for testosterone, but that would have rendered him infertile, entirely, for while he takes it, and that's not something we want to have happen. So we fought Aetna and came out victorious. Yay.



I *think* that you and I have talked about this before, if any of it sounds familiar. I keep myself sane on the Dis by trying hard to not remember who said what when, but sometimes it gets through my resistant brain, and I *think* you were the person I've talked (typed) about it with.
__________________
-molly + robert + eamon (10!!)

DLR '05-'09 found within this link
DLR 7,9,12 2012 Universal Feb '12 DLR Dec '11 and Feb '12

Made weight goal 1yr8m8days after starting...currently working to maintain 85 lb loss thanks to Weight Watchers!

Last edited by bumbershoot; 10-28-2009 at 08:30 PM. Reason: extra info.
bumbershoot is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2009, 08:56 PM   #263
bumbershoot
DIS Veteran
 
bumbershoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma WA
Posts: 45,676

Found the notes! Woo!



OK so we went on TSMM.

Which reminds me that during our first time through TSMM on this trip, the first day I believe, we witnessed two parents who had just realized they'd misplaced a child in their party. Dad was in the Toy Story line along the pathway, mom had been in the bathroom, we figured out. Daughter, who was old enough to say she'd meet up with dad, had been with her and left...dad didn't know of this plan change...augh. Scary moment just to watch, let alone what they must have been feeling.

I know it's almost impossible, but if faced with a situation like that, we will do our best to NOT argue about it right at that time. Why? Because that takes up time better spent finding a CM, looking around for the child, and so on. The daughter was very likely in the giftshop right there, the fear probably only lasted a minute or two, but the arguing did nothing but delay the happy reunion we assume happened. So that was our "takeaway" from that moment we witnessed. And I will tell you, everyone that heard the conversation and understood what was going on was rooting for them to find their DD quickly! In case people start to get jaded about what their fellow guests are thinking...the line was energized, buzzing, with concern for all of them, for minutes after they left the line.


So back to TSMM. Oh yeah! Now I think I remember. Robert, I think, stopped to get me a coffee. Well, us. Mainly me. E and I forged ahead. Parked the stroller and realized that that long line leading out of the queue was where we were headed. The line was out of the area b/c they didn't have many loops or switchbacks open inside the line. Robert got up to us really fast and he'd gotten a mocha which isn't my first choice, but it was nummy, even though we'd just had coffee at breakfast.

While in that line, a mom let her two girls go ride Triton's Carousel, but the girls weren't yet back by the time she was about halfway through what short line we had. So she got out of the line. Robert hadn't seen her with her girls, but had noticed her leaving, so when she and two preteens suddenly go back into line, after you pass *behind* Mr Potato Head, he was pretty surprised! But she had spoken kindly to the people right in front of us (behind her), to see if they'd save her spot, and they agreed..so it was all quite OK that she got back into line. And she got in right where she would have done if she'd stayed there...I tell you, the area was full of happiness and bonhomie (if that's a word that means good feelings...if not, ignore it)! Then it turned out that the family who let the mom back in was riding TSMM for the first time, and while we all waited for our turn, we all called tips and tricks to that family. The dad of the family and a son ended up facing me and E (more good feelings...E chose to sit with ME this time instead of Robert! a First!), and E and those two kept pointing their ride-blaster/pullythings/whatever they are called at each other whenever we'd face each other at a turn in the ride, and at the end.

Only I can make a description of ONE ride last for the bulk of 2 posts... Bet y'all are afraid of whenever I go to WDW, eh?
__________________
-molly + robert + eamon (10!!)

DLR '05-'09 found within this link
DLR 7,9,12 2012 Universal Feb '12 DLR Dec '11 and Feb '12

Made weight goal 1yr8m8days after starting...currently working to maintain 85 lb loss thanks to Weight Watchers!

Last edited by bumbershoot; 11-15-2009 at 02:45 PM.
bumbershoot is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2009, 09:21 PM   #264
JustAKid
DIS Veteran
 
JustAKid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 891

Quote:
Originally Posted by bumbershoot View Post
Sorry guys. Just didn't feel like updating. Tired. And today I'm angry at the world; last night had a "last straw" fall in the form of my MIL being stupid, and everything just came down on my heart and mind...
Hey Molly!

So I totally just wanted to comment on the fact that I sort of sensed that you were off lately. I heard you mention on the planning board that you were taking a break from your TR because you weren't in a "zen place". Just wanted to offer some encouragement!!! I know your life is all over the place right now, what with E being sick and stupid MIL on top of regular ol' life. I hope things look up for you. Don't worry about updating, we'll be here, waiting, whenever you're ready. Much love to you and your family.
__________________
DH - his brother, DBiL and Me - Plus 3 - DD(8) DD(6) DD(4)
JustAKid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2009, 10:11 PM   #265
bumbershoot
DIS Veteran
 
bumbershoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma WA
Posts: 45,676

After the requisite tour through the store, we headed over to the midway games area. As many who read my reports might know, we do tend to speed past things to get to other things...therefore, there are vast areas of DLR that we've never noticed, because we don't take the time.

We'd heard so much about the new games, and we'd seen SO many people with the Dumbo plushes that I'd read were the deluxe prizes, that even though it was MY birthday and I am not that big into midway games that you have to pay for, we went on over.

So... you don't pay cash to the people working the games; rather, you put money or card into a machine, and get a card. The guys made an argument for putting $20 on the card, and I agreed. Interestingly, when money's on the line, I will do my research! We went back and forth, looking at the games and the charge for each game, the rules, and the prizes.

This was interrupted by news that Jessie was wandering, so E and I went to wave at the character. We could tell she was on her way backstage, so we tried to be very obvious in body language that all we wanted was a wave, and that's what E got!


OK that baseball game has horrid prizes, in our opinion. Didn't even try it, though Robert wanted to play the *game*, for fear of getting one of those things. I think this can be played as a one person game. I haven't a clue if you can trade up, as we disliked the prizes so very much.

The fishing game has cute lowest level prizes, and really cute higher level prizes. You canNOT trade up in that game. It can be played by one person.

There's a fire themed game with the squirt nozzles...that had the cheapie prize of Timothy the mouse from Dumbo, and I found out later that they had the Dumbo prizes, but they run out. They must have been out out out when we were there, because Dumbo was nowhere to be found. I wish I'd asked, but I didn't want to sound greedy. ( what's up with that?) This required two people at least. You can trade up, if Dumbo's on display.

And there was a horse racing game, where you roll balls into holes, and each ball in the hole moves the horse forward. At least two players are required. The prizes are Woody/Jessie/Bullseye themed, and you can trade up.


We, and I mean Robert and Eamon, played all but the baseball game. With the horse race, we waited until it was only the two of them. If over 4 players are playing, the prize is much better (bullseye, I believe), but it's more of a game of chance, and I don't like that. Not sure if that's been made clear yet, LOL. Since it was only the two of them, that meant a small prize, which meant a choice between Woody or Jessie on a funky little pillow. And I mean little. They played, and one of them won, and E chose Woody (though he had plans to get Jessie ahead of time).






They also tried the Dumbo/fire themed game, and won Timothy.

The rest of the time and money was focused on the fishing game. Between the two of them, they paid for, er, "won", all of the smaller prizes. Your prize is based on the color of dot on the *bottom* of the duck you snag with your magnetized fishing pole...it's absolute chance...and they just never got a bigger prize dot color. So we have a duck with an innertube, a crab, lobster, and a little turtle. E was very happy with them! That day I had Grizzly planned, so I had my poncho and my clear plastic disneyland bag from a previous trip, and it was kinda fun loading up the bag with those purchases, er, "prizes".

We finished up there and walked around the rest of the pier. For whatever reason we opted to not go on the funwheel, even though the guys like it and I can get through it...'cuz that's how I like to do theme parks...riding what I can get through...

E wanted to ride Mulholland Madness again, and the line was only 10 minutes, so that's what we did. I put him on my right side this time, and left all bags with the hubster. Still felt the need to grasp his leg (so he didn't fly out), but it was nowhere near as scary as the first time we rode it, as I was trying to keep bags, skirt (the skirt was involved this time, but without the bags it was better), and son from flying up and/or out.

After having me'n'E time, he and Robert went on the Silver, no Golden, wait, it's Silver but called Golden, Zephyr. Even though the line was short and they were back quickly, it felt like a lovely little break, leaning against the construction wall...
__________________
-molly + robert + eamon (10!!)

DLR '05-'09 found within this link
DLR 7,9,12 2012 Universal Feb '12 DLR Dec '11 and Feb '12

Made weight goal 1yr8m8days after starting...currently working to maintain 85 lb loss thanks to Weight Watchers!

Last edited by bumbershoot; 11-15-2009 at 02:46 PM.
bumbershoot is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2009, 11:00 PM   #266
bumbershoot
DIS Veteran
 
bumbershoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma WA
Posts: 45,676

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustAKid View Post
Hey Molly!

So I totally just wanted to comment on the fact that I sort of sensed that you were off lately. I heard you mention on the planning board that you were taking a break from your TR because you weren't in a "zen place". Just wanted to offer some encouragement!!! I know your life is all over the place right now, what with E being sick and stupid MIL on top of regular ol' life. I hope things look up for you. Don't worry about updating, we'll be here, waiting, whenever you're ready. Much love to you and your family.
Thanks.

I just got really tired, and while I was OK in handing out thoughts and advice on touring, or budgeting, or if people providing money for a wedding are allowed to want input...talking about our trip was too much.

I'm over it now...I started getting jealous of Sherry and mnmrmustard (I must remember his name at some point, or at least get his username right one of these times!) and their reports, so I had to get back to it.

The MIL...you didn't ask, but here's what she said.

I've mentioned that she's Korean, and she is extremely outspoken. I'm quite sure there are plenty of Korean women of her age who are lovely, kind, sweet women (the sister of hers that I met, who told me I was beautiful and watched one of E's very first nursing sessions (b/c she and her husband were in America at that time), is one of those), but my MIL is absolutely the image that comedian (hate the word "comedianne") Margaret Cho paints of her own Korean born mother. Says what she wants, insults people, she's prejudiced, etc.

For quite awhile now, even after Robert and I started trying for another baby (though we kept it quiet b/c I rarely want to know when my friends are "trying"), Kyung has been outspoken in how GLAD she is that we haven't had another. Although that's been hurtful, as I look back, she was so right. He has been a handful, and if I had had another (or two more, as was originally "planned" by this time) like him or more difficult than him, I would have imploded and disappeared forever. But especially in the last one and a half years, as we've figured out what makes him tick, and he's become so much more reasonable LOL, we've really known that it's time. And it's probably not a coincidence that we've really gone forth in following up on our own, with Robert's health concerns, because he had a *strong* feeling that any "fault" was with his body. And so we found all of this.

Kyung knew about the diabetes diagnosis b/c Eamon told her. He also told her about Robert's layoff last April! We keep thinking we've learned our open and honest in front of the munchkin lesson, but I guess we haven't yet. And so whenever she gets me alone, she makes sure that I'm keeping control of him and his eating...and that's an epic in itself...she "controlled" him from when he was a *toddler*. He has a round Korean face (much rounder than his brother's...but his brother is only his *half* brother and there are some strong fundamental differences in their faces due to different fathers, while he and his full sister are almost clones) and he's a big strong man...he could have been a sumo if he'd been Japanese. And he's been a sturdy kid since he was little.

Kyung put him on a diet as a toddler. When he'd wake in the mornings, hungry, she would send her first son in with a big glass bottle of *water*. Which filled him up but kept him from getting any calories. Just thinking about what that could do to a baby's metabolism stuns me. But she thought she was doing right by him. Growing up, his sibs had ice cream, he had a popsicle. They had Cokes, he had Tab (for the youngsters, that was the precursor to Diet Coke/Pepsi, and had saccharine in it). etc etc.

And so, a food-sneak was created. And attempts to "control" him only make it worse. Her attempts to shame him into losing the weight that sneaking food created made it worse.

It's taken almost 10 years for us to figure out a way that I can talk so he will listen, and not sneak, about food. Right before his blood sugar diagnosis, I had noticed some big problems, and I had started working on mentioning them to him, and letting him know what they might mean (coloring changes on legs and back of neck = blood sugar problems). But he had to get as sick as he got, before he could even think about making such changes in his diet. HE had to do it.

I'm not the boss of him, I'm not in charge of his body, and I've told her this, but she continues to insist that I am.

The worst? If he gains weight, it's HIS fault, and I am the poor wife who has to put up with it. IF he LOSES...I get the kudos. She's messed up.

So what does all this have to do with what happened? It's just background for the kind of person she is. I mention that she's not from here to make sure you understand that we don't really share a language. Actually, if she'd speak Japanese, I could take a refresher, and we could talk much better with each other...but she refuses to speak Japanese b/c she learned by force when her country was occupied, and her father spent a year in a concentration camp for having Korean books in his possession. I understand...but if we could speak that language, it would make things easier.

So when Robert went off to the Land Down Under last month, I stopped in with E. It was as we were getting sick, and my defenses were down. She flat out asked me if I was pregnant, and was disappointed to hear that the answer was no. And it came out that all of a sudden, she is *desperate* for us to have "a sibling for Eamon". Like THAT is why we want another kid. Like THAT is a good reason to have a kid. Here kid, you're lonely, let's make a kid for you. Uh, no.

And so, in that weakened state (and thankful she hadn't told me how fat I was and have been for a couple years now), I reminded her of the prolactinoma, and how it was messing with his system, and I let her know about the other hormone problem he's having too. But that we're working on treatment for that.

I told her that we've been trying since E was 9 months old. I told this ALL to her, when it's not her business, in hopes that it would stop her from asking again.


But yesterday, while E and I were at the store, she called. And started crying. Why? Because she wants Eamon to "have a brother or sister" soooo bad. She's so sad, she's desperate, she's praying to Buddha and "daddy" (even though Buddhists believe in reincarnation, she somehow has it in her head that Robert's father reached nirvana with his death...listen...Robert and his brother were at the memorial service talking about how they figured he'd had to go back to *cockroach* due to his actions in this incarnation...there's a serious disconnect as to what sort of man he truly was, and what sort of man she has decided he was). etc etc. Crying.

And Robert told me. And he told me without any buildup. No "my mom has lost her mind, listen to what she did, this is horrible", no "brace yourself for what my mom said, it's not nice of her", etc.

And when he told me, and when I went ballistic (this was after E was asleep by the way), he went silent. And I was telling him that silence was hurting my feelings, that I needed him to talk, to help, to do something...and he stayed silent because that's his reaction to ballistic women...it sparked an argument between us. Which isn't surprising...Kyung actually knew we'd have problems with communication from the moment she found out I'm a "Rooster", because Robert's a "Rat", in Asian astrology...and the stresses of low fertility, even secondary (maybe even especially secondary) fertility problems aren't known to make partners all sweetness and light all the time to begin with... We worked it out, it didn't take long, but I didn't appreciate that yet again, something she said had sparked a problem.

It also, of course, brought up these years of frustration and sadness. I'm sure, if I were a medically-minded person I could have gone to someone, had a workup, and since they'd probably find no problems they would have moved along to Robert sooner...but that's not me. And at every moment along this timeline, I've talked...will I regret not seeing an RE now...if a few years from now I see one, and there's a problem, will I be disappointed in my past self...will Robert be disappointed, etc etc etc. We've been possibly more verbal than many others about it all (except for the possibility of a donor...that only recently got brought up, but still, it was brought up, through laughter and goofy ideas of who we could use). And the bottomline for that thought process is that Robert had brought up his concerns for 3 years to several different health care providers, and until this endocrinologist, NONE of them would do what he wanted them to do. So we have THAT along with all the other emotions to deal with. It's been really sad and difficult, and I very rarely talk about it. I barely talk about it to one friend, and she's the only one in real life. The person I *should* be talking to is a friend who hasn't been able to have any kids...but because I've had Eamon, I feel bad talking to her, because I should just be thankful for him and not bother her...those are *my* thoughts, not hers...I'm sure she, my oldest friend, would be happy to talk, but I just can't pick up the phone about it... It's been all inside...



But I told my MIL the problem. I told her, through tears, how long we'd been working on another baby. I told her this so she wouldn't have unrealistic expectations. I gave her the timelines that the endo has told us for when the shots would start working. I gave her so much more information than she needed to know...

But she called, crying, because she wants a "sibling for Eamon".


And I'm done, again, with her. What does she think she's accomplishing by such a call? She has THREE sisters that she can talk about this with. She has a great int'l calling plan, she talks to them all the time. She has friends. She has her monk. She should talk to *them*. Not us. Not ever us. It all fell on top of all the other stuff she's pulled, and it's renewed my wish to just not talk, not see, not deal with her at all again....



Writing it out, maybe it's petty. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's not worth being so angry. I think that only someone who has been through problems like this might relate to my outrage, and maybe they would think it's petty too.

But it's how I feel. I feel hurt.
__________________
-molly + robert + eamon (10!!)

DLR '05-'09 found within this link
DLR 7,9,12 2012 Universal Feb '12 DLR Dec '11 and Feb '12

Made weight goal 1yr8m8days after starting...currently working to maintain 85 lb loss thanks to Weight Watchers!

Last edited by bumbershoot; 10-28-2009 at 11:07 PM. Reason: *not* worth
bumbershoot is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-28-2009, 11:44 PM   #267
bumbershoot
DIS Veteran
 
bumbershoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma WA
Posts: 45,676

Moving on!!!!

That's enough of all that.




After the Zephyr, hunger appeared. At least in the guys...I find no receipt for myself, though perhaps I was planning on sharing what I thought Robert would get.

First stop, Cocina Cucamonga, for E's kid's burrito meal and a *water* this time, no more Nesquik, dagnabit!

E and I got his food and Robert went over to get a rice bowl from the...





Anyone who is also reading mnmrmustard's report will recognize this weather! It was the same day they got in, the 12th. You can see why, way back when in retelling, but only a couple hours ago while happening, I regretted sending back my fleecey coat.


Well, instead of the nice Thai veggie rice...Robert decided to try the Korean sauce instead.






Ummmm, yeah....SO not Korean in spice. Lots of heat, for sure. It had lots of mepta (Korean word for spicey hot)...but it wasn't hot bean paste. Sigh.

So I was left sad because I had wanted to share Thai, but eating E's rice (he sometimes likes it but not that day) and fruit cup made my stomach happy.


We decided to move along and get my little bag of birthday tortillas! We'd stopped in on the first day, but all they had were corn tortillas, and, I'm very sad to report that their corn tortillas are rather bad. Although we use flour tortillas from Mission at home, when we get corn tortillas they are usually from a Mexican company, and Mission pales in comparison, even freshly made. Anyway, that was the 10th, and this was the 12th, and we were excited, and hey, no line! I don't have to rush. I'll take a picture of lights and lamps.














Got to the door...hey, there's no CM well maybe it's during a "show" (maseca!)...no, what's that sign...ah MANNNNN, closed.
__________________
-molly + robert + eamon (10!!)

DLR '05-'09 found within this link
DLR 7,9,12 2012 Universal Feb '12 DLR Dec '11 and Feb '12

Made weight goal 1yr8m8days after starting...currently working to maintain 85 lb loss thanks to Weight Watchers!

Last edited by bumbershoot; 11-15-2009 at 02:46 PM. Reason: zephyr, not zephry
bumbershoot is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2009, 06:19 AM   #268
Brady's Mom
"Get off the roof, get off the roof, get off the roof!"
The snowball has hit my family and hit it hard
 
Brady's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Orem, UT
Posts: 1,539

OY, Molly. I totally get the mother-in-law thing. My MIL is Chinese and for some reason feels totally justified in saying bad things to my husband about me - in front of me - in a language I don't understand.

DH's parents were not ideal parents, but listening to DH and his growing up friends compare stories about their parents, they were not that much different than his.

DH's very good friend died this last summer from cancer complications. He hadn't been married for more than 5 years, has a little almost 2 yr old son and has many, many health complications. He has had lupus and other things for years. He had a kidney transplant and all sorts of other things. His wife is an angel and knew what she was getting into. Okay, sorry for the background, but you'll understand in a minute. DH's friend had broken off all communication with his mom - who lived very close to him - he'd changed phone numbers (cell and home) and would have nothing to do with her since she was just so hateful and rude. He finally relented to see her when he was in the hospital and I guess just wanted to make peace with what was happening. She came and the FIRST thing she said to him - in front of wife and son - was "I guess you got cancer on purpose to punish me and to get out of living anymore."

SHOCKING, just so shocking. The insensitivity and total lack of any sort of compassion was astonishing to me. And to say it in front of a wife who probably knows that he is not going to live long is appalling.

DH - because of the abusive nature of his mother and the lack of any sort of love or compassion or anything toward him - cut off all communication with his mom when our 2nd son was born. That very night, actually. He is an only child and we have the only grandchildren. She has only met one of them. She has no idea where we live, no contact with us in any way and no hope of ever seeing these great boys - ever! We were talking about how sad it is for her to be so hateful in her life that she has missed the opportunity to even have any contact with her posterity.

I think it is a hard thing for my DH to do, though. His Dad died when he was in his early 20's from cancer and that left his mom. She is still bitter - 43 years later - about her divorce and arranged marriage to his Dad. She blames it all on DH, to his face, repeatedly.

She makes me crazy and glad I don't have to deal with the manipulations and skewed thinking that you have to deal with. I would support my DH if he decided to open up peace talks with his mom - but she would have to do some of the compromising - and I don't think he is ready to pursue that headache anytime soon, since she thinks she is too old to change and won't even make an attempt.

I do sometimes wish I had a great MIL like my sister does. I wish for that extra family interaction for my boys. My family is near us and so they get my side of the family - but are missing a Chinese extended family component that I think is important. They are 1/2 Chinese, after all.

Sorry you have to deal with her and I can understand how hard it is with different cultures and then add in infertility and R's problems and you have a super-explosive situation on your hands. I can empathize with 2/3 of it - cultural differences and secondary infertility - just don't have the Hubby with health problems. After reading your post it makes me selfishly glad I don't have to deal with my MIL anymore.
__________________
Me (Shannon) , DH , DS , DDIL , DS 16 , DS 10 , DS 7


October 2006 - Family trip September 2007 - 40th B-day trip March 2008 - 12 people trip December 7-12, 2008 - Christmas trip May 25-28, 2009 - Surprise Family Trip
July 16-19, 2009 - DH's 50th B-Day trip! Nov. 1-6, 2009 - Family Trip April 3-10, 2010 - Family Trip October 7-13, 2012 - Family Trip with Best Friends
Brady's Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2009, 02:09 PM   #269
bumbershoot
DIS Veteran
 
bumbershoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma WA
Posts: 45,676

Oh Shannon...on one hand I'm glad that someone gets the MIL thing, but on the other hand I feel so bad for you guys and so bad for your husband's late friend and his family.

My MIL does the "all about me" thing too. When E spilled the beans about the blood sugar, it was "if you lost weight like I told you...", with the job "I worry so much about you" like WE don't worry about us, too.

When the job was ending, it was obviously b/c Robert wears shorts to work, and because he doesn't have a degree (yeah, amazon closed a department of 14 people because of that...nothing to do with the fact that the ND office was now all trained and they make far far less than the Seattle guys did, and amazon makes excellent financial decisions like that).

Then when Robert got not one job, but TWO, inside of 2 months in the summer, the kudos didn't go to him for working his heiney off, going on informational meetings galore, interviews like crazy, etc etc...nope, it was ME for supporting him, HER for praying for him, and Buddha and his dead father for pulling strings in the great beyond. Duuuuuude. Robert worked hard to get that job with m'soft, and once he realized that contract work was not going to work for us, and amazon came a'calling again, he worked hard to impress them. We *had to* give money to her to give to the monk...she badgered us until we did it. Does she invite us to temple? nope. Does she support us finding a temple in our area so we don't have to go to the very odd place she goes (female monk living in a house out somewhere in the boonies around Kent WA)? Nope. Thinks it's weird that we want to do that. I think she's still stuck in the thought that R changed religions as a preteen and teen...he changed back before HS ended, but she still thinks of him as not being of her religion. Her caucasian husband changed religions, but it seems odd that I might choose to research the religion (it wouldn't be a *change* for me, LOL)...and so on.


None of that is as bad as what that mom said to her own son at the hospital....

Though, on a funny note...Robert's mom has been known to call her sons "sons of" I think you know where I'm going with that...and it doesn't even occur to her what she is calling herself.
__________________
-molly + robert + eamon (10!!)

DLR '05-'09 found within this link
DLR 7,9,12 2012 Universal Feb '12 DLR Dec '11 and Feb '12

Made weight goal 1yr8m8days after starting...currently working to maintain 85 lb loss thanks to Weight Watchers!
bumbershoot is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2009, 02:19 PM   #270
bumbershoot
DIS Veteran
 
bumbershoot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tacoma WA
Posts: 45,676

more mother in law, move along, nothing to see here if you don't want to

Oh Oh Oh.

So she's all on R's case about weight and always has been. So what does she give E when he visits? Remembering that SHE has blood sugar issues as well (her "control" means 150 readings, while taking metformin and something else....supposedly she has type 1, but she refuses insulin...I personally think she got a BAD diagnosis, but the doc who diagnosed her committed suicide, and the doc that took over has some weird respect thing going on and won't go against any of that previous doc's diagnoses), and E's father does...and E reacts really weird to corn syrup and HFCS which could very well be a blood sugar thing....she gives him white rice and Pocky. She will give him 4 packs of Pocky, which he eats, right in a row, after having white rice.

And she gives these too him b/c she feels guilty because we won't "let" her give him meat and fish and "normal" candy...can't figure out other things to give him...he loves this odd Korean pear she buys from PalDo market, but nooooo. White rice and Pocky.


OMG I could go on forever. First time I met her she tried to get me to cry. I teared up, but didn't cry, and got some respect from her. For, oh, I'd say, a minute. She's tried to sneak meat into my food. She knew E was exclusively nursed, but just about gave a supermarket apple juice to E when he wasn't even crawling yet...said "it's not food"...um, yeah, it is. I was still very much recovering from pregnancy etc, and I harmed my body by leaping across the room to grab the spoon of juice...in my mind's eye I picture myself as the former spokeman for Hertz, jumping over tables and rocking chairs, to keep the juice from him. When I saw her about the second time after R and I started dating, shortly before going to dinner as some strange xmas celebration on the 26th, I'd gained a couple pounds, as one often does when initially dating someone new, and she flat out said "oh you got so fat". It was like 10 lbs.

Augggghhhhh. I'd been doing so well. I'd decided she ahd turned over a new leaf, a new time of harmony. It needed to happen, since she refuses to move back to Korea. And no one suggests that in a mean way, but she's been gone for almost 40 years and has never really settled in here...she has siblings out there, a brother that she basically raised and owes her big time, his wife loves her, they have asked her to move out there, to live with them, etc etc, but she won't because she doesn't have money. So she suffers here, in a culture she doesn't like...

Sigh.
__________________
-molly + robert + eamon (10!!)

DLR '05-'09 found within this link
DLR 7,9,12 2012 Universal Feb '12 DLR Dec '11 and Feb '12

Made weight goal 1yr8m8days after starting...currently working to maintain 85 lb loss thanks to Weight Watchers!
bumbershoot is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My Nick Hotel Review maciemouse Orlando Hotels and Attractions 11 08-28-2009 12:32 PM
Best hotel bar? mkt Disneyland Paris Trip Planning & Community Board 25 08-26-2009 04:22 PM
hotel Elysee - what's it like? aobh Disneyland Paris Trip Planning & Community Board 9 08-25-2009 05:59 PM
Paradise Pier hotel - in room WiFi? grumpy's fan Disneyland (California) 7 08-25-2009 04:20 PM
SW, POP, DME and hotel boarding passes? shopn24seven Disney Resorts 3 08-25-2009 02:24 PM

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
GET OUR DIS UPDATES DELIVERED BY EMAIL



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:33 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.