OT: Babysitter Non-family member.

[ryanshana]

Ok I have never had to do this before. My DH and I have somewhere to go and our regular family babysitters are unavailable. So my DH was talking about it at work and a woman mentioned her daughter, I have never met this woman but my DH works with her everyday. I guess I'm just nervous cause I have never left them with anyone besides family. They are 3 and almost 2.

My one issue is that the daughter is 13. She is certified through the red cross. My neighbors will be home and are nurses so I let them know that we will be having a babysitter. Also the boys will be asleep by the time we leave. so basically I am paying her to listen to them sleep!

Would you feel comfortable w/ a 13 year old? To me that just seems young. Also her mom, the woman DH works with is only 5 mins away!

Please calm my nerves or tell me i'm crazy to be doing this LOL

Thanks

[MinnieMe87]

I started babysitting around that age and I don't remember having any issues or problems while I babysat. The family I babysat for had three kids, and I got along just fine. I think with all the people there are nearby that she could call if there is a problem, she should be just fine.

[Breezy_Carol]

Many of us don't/didn't have family mearby to help. We often used teenage babysitters. And when I was a teen, I baby sat a lot.

Invite the girl over to be a mother's helper one day so you can get to know her and she can get to know the kids. I think with all the other people in place she will do fine.

And I know that in Maryland the minimum age for a child to be left caring for other kids is 12 so she is over that age.

[Traveliz]

Well it is on the younger end of babysitters but I think you have a few things going for you.

Your husband knows the mom of the babysitter and must have some comfort level even bringing this to your attention.

Secondly if the 13 year old has gone through the Red Cross class they must have more than a passing interest in babysitting and are pretty good.

Mom close by helps too - I know when my daughter was young I stayed available while she was babysitting in case she needed.

Also even though the kids will be asleep maybe to ease your fears you could have her over for a paid playdate so she can get to know the kids.

Liz

[Pomlover2586]

Eh......I have no kids myself.....but I do work with kids daily. Honestly Red cross certified or not, I wouldn't let a 13 year old watch my kids if she was not family...

At that age they're still babies themselves, and in a true emergency, you never know what could happen.....if panic overwhelms her- all her CPR training goes right out the window.

I wouldn't let anyone under the age of 15/16 watch my children.......JMHO

[C.Ann]

Is this for tonight - or do you have time to meet her ahead of time?

Without meeting her ahead of time - to try to determine her level of maturity - I personally would not feel comfortable with a 13 yr. old (having never met her)..

[java]

My daughter just turned 12 today and has been babysitting for the past year. In the neighborhood though so I am just down the street if she needs me= and so far she hasn't.

My daughter did the red cross class and honestly I feel better having her around in an emergency.

Isn't there anyone in your neighborhood? I would feel better with a locally recommended one.

[java]

Originally Posted by Pomlover2586

Eh......I have no kids myself.....but I do work with kids daily. Honestly Red cross certified or not, I wouldn't let a 13 year old watch my kids if she was not family...

At that age they're still babies themselves, and in a true emergency, you never know what could happen.....if panic overwhelms her- all her CPR training goes right out the window.

I wouldn't let anyone under the age of 15/16 watch my children.......JMHO

Good luck finding an available one. I honestly think that is the reason my daughter gets all the jobs she does.

[PaddingtonBear]

Oh HECK no! I have two, a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old. Our sitter is a college freshman. Her little sister wants to start sitting our kids on occasion when we go out, lil sis is 13. The ONLY reason I'd let her do it is our regular sitter has been doing 'on the job training', bringing lil sis over and showing her the ropes AND these are our neighbors and thier mom and dad are right across the street if something comes up.

Kid I didn't know, without easy access to an adult, no way. 15 or 16 year old? sure. 13? nope.

[ryanshana]

Originally Posted by java

My daughter just turned 12 today and has been babysitting for the past year. In the neighborhood though so I am just down the street if she needs me= and so far she hasn't.

My daughter did the red cross class and honestly I feel better having her around in an emergency.

Isn't there anyone in your neighborhood? I would feel better with a locally recommended one.

She is locally. We just recently moved to our development and do not know anyone, really yet. And actually it wasn't like my DH explained and she offered....it was more like people at the office had used her babysitting before. So it was kind of a recommendation

Yes, it is for tonight. My father, is ill and can't do it. That is why I am really nervous about it, but I don't know if it is just a normal fear parents have once they start using a "paid" babysitter

[ryanshana]

Originally Posted by PaddingtonBear

Oh HECK no! I have two, a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old. Our sitter is a college freshman. Her little sister wants to start sitting our kids on occasion when we go out, lil sis is 13. The ONLY reason I'd let her do it is our regular sitter has been doing 'on the job training', bringing lil sis over and showing her the ropes AND these are our neighbors and thier mom and dad are right across the street if something comes up.

Kid I didn't know, without easy access to an adult, no way. 15 or 16 year old? sure. 13? nope.

They do have easy access to an adult....our neighbors will be home. I think that is one reason why I am kind of ok w/ this

[java]

Originally Posted by ryanshana

She is locally. We just recently moved to our development and do not know anyone, really yet. And actually it wasn't like my DH explained and she offered....it was more like people at the office had used her babysitting before. So it was kind of a recommendation

Yes, it is for tonight. My father, is ill and can't do it. That is why I am really nervous about it, but I don't know if it is just a normal fear parents have once they start using a "paid" babysitter

Yes that's normal. What's funny is the parent's my dd babysits for tell me they are more nervous about their own children doing something embarassing. My dd always leaves a little note telling what went on in the house- always glowing reports!


Go have fun and relax! You may have just opened up a whole new outlet for yourselves. Take a cell phone and be available for the call if she needs to call you. I'm sure it'll be fine.

[Disney Doll]

I think a 13 year old might be better in some ways than an older child...a 15 or 16 year old could have a boyfriend come over or something.

OP, if you have time, why not have her over to meet you and the kids, get a sense of how she seems to be. It sounds pretty ideal though...a 13 year old kid who's clearly interested in babysitting if she went to the red Cross course, nurse neighbors who will know to keep an eye out, her mom 5 minutes away and your boys alseep.

I babysat at 13 for two girls who lived about 5 minutes fomr my house. It always went fine.

[bumbershoot]

I started babysitting around that age and never had any extra training.

"her mom, the woman DH works with is only 5 mins away! "

That's very good.


Now I personally can't imagine it from the other side, as a parent, but I was a good sitter even just into my teens.

[BCDisneyFanatic]

I think your fear is perfectly normal. However, we all had to give up control of our children to an outsider at some point.

Thirteen can be awfully young, or it can be just fine as a babysitter. I've had people ask if my almost 11-year-old DD will babysit because she is very mature and responsible (although I won't let her until she's 12). I have no doubt that she could handle young children and I've seen her during several crises and she's handled them well. I've also taught many 13 year olds, and know that their maturity level varies greatly.

You've mentioned that this girl comes with recommendations from colleagues, and that your DH knows the girl's mom (and I would assume thinks she's a decent individual). It sounds like she falls within the more mature 13 year-old category. Knowing that your kids will be asleep the whole time anyway, and your neighbours will be right next door in case of emergency, I don't think you need to worry.

Enjoy your time tonight.