Would you leave an 18yr old behind?

[maxiesmom]

I'm looking for a little advice. Hopfully I can explain what is going on without making it too confusing.

My 18yr old nephew will be playing at Disney World with his school orchestra over Spring Break next year. At first, we thought that would a great excuse for a family trip to the World. But on second thought, maybe not so much. The parks will be packed, the resorts will cost an arm and a leg, and airfare will cost both arms and both legs! So now we are thinking of just me and my sis going over Spring Break, and maybe do a group trip this fall, when Disney has so many disounts on rooms and airfare is pretty reasonable. Sounds good, right?

The problem is we don't want my nephew to miss any school. And he doesn't want to miss any school. It is his senior year after all, and he will be taking a college class to boot. He is a good enough student that missing 2 days wouldn't be a big deal, but it would be good for him to not miss any days.

And to top it off, my brother in law has heard thru his office grapevine that they may be cut down to 4 day work weeks soon. So now money is even more of a factor than it was, and spending a few thousand to take his whole family to Disney World over Spring Break just got a bit harder to do.

My sister has 2 younger daughters in addition to her 18yr old son. And they would be heartbroken to be left behind while we went to Disney World without them. So taking a trip this fall would help out with that too.

So what would you do? Take a trip this fall, and leave the oldest child home alone so that he can keep up with his classes? Just skip the fall trip, and take everyone over Spring Break next year? We had been planning a girls only trip for this fall, but if my brother in law skips going this fall he wouldn't want to not go over Spring Break next year, not that I blame him. Who would want to sit home while their spouse went on not one but two trips to Disney World?

Any thoughts or ideas?

[smkiya]

I don't think I'd leave him behind. If you talk to the teachers soon enough, they may be able to accommodate his absence. I don't think missing 2 days will hurt him at all, unless he was aiming for perfect attendance. Why not plan a trip around a holiday, there are plenty in the fall. Here the kids have off for Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Columbus Day... not to mention the many, many, many teacher conference days. In fact, I heard some call the first 2 weeks of November in Disney, "Jersey days" because the kids have 4-5 days off because of teacher conferences. It's not unusual to run into several classmates while in Disney during this time (my friend went down at this time and each one of her 4 boys saw kids they went to school with, and a couple of neighbors). I hear the weather is perfect, and the crowds are low. Find out what his school schedule is, you may be surprised.

[Hannathy]

I'd leave the 18 yr old home. By now you either can trust the child or you can't and I'm sure you know the answer to that. He also will be on his own at college very soon and you won't know what he is doing every minute or if he is alone or not!

I have a 17 yr old DD and even this summer many of the parents are starting to leave the kids home alone for a night or two, as long as they can drive it is no problem.

My folks left me home alone when I was 17-18 and that was waaaaay before cell phones, computers or any other easy means of communication like there is now!!!

[smkiya]

I guess I'm confused, is this a family trip this fall with your nephews parents and two sisters and you and your family? If so, then I think he might feel left out not being included with his siblings and parents. Because he'll be going away to college, he might not have an opportunity in the future to do a trip like this with his sisters and parents. A woman I work with went on a cruise to Bermuda with her husband and dd16. Her 18 year old son said he did not want to go. Not 2 hours after she set sail, her son calls and is very upset because he made the decision not to go. I know at 17 I was left home when my mom went to the Atlantic City casinos with her sisters for the weekend a couple of times and I was ok with that (loved it in fact!). But if she had gone somewhere with my siblings for the weekend and I stayed home, I think I would've felt left out.

[Hannathy]

Another thought just came to mind you mentioned he was in the band, well Fall is football season and if he is in the band he would have an obligation to be at football games with the band. Missing those can have a huge effect on his grade. Besides the grade problem it is also football season and as a senior in the band he is probably looking forward to this year, most schools will have a senior night at a game then there is homecoming and what senior wants to miss their homecoming and ensuing activities? Probably a homecoming dance. Then throw in there the college class which you can't "just talk" to the school about because it is the university rules not public school ( my DD has one this yr also)

[Perditamarie]

Go in June for a graduation trip!

[powellrj]

My DSs show choir sang last year over spring break. DH and I went down and did a really budget trip. We stayed in an off-site condo and did things other than the parks on the days he wasn't performing.

Since we weren't chaperones, our time with our DS was really limited and he really didn't want to spend time with us when he was with his friends. It worked out really well. DH and I had a much needed vacation, it didn't cost an arm and a leg and we got to see the kids at WDW! They won the competion which was icing on the cake!

DS took ACP English (college English) plus AP history and AP economics last year, so it was pretty important for him to be in class all the time. His other classes were pretty easy to make-up, but those 3 were killers if you didn't keep up.

[hoosiergirl7]

Originally Posted by powellrj

My DSs show choir sang last year over spring break. DH and I went down and did a really budget trip. We stayed in an off-site condo and did things other than the parks on the days he wasn't performing.

Since we weren't chaperones, our time with our DS was really limited and he really didn't want to spend time with us when he was with his friends. It worked out really well. DH and I had a much needed vacation, it didn't cost an arm and a leg and we got to see the kids at WDW! They won the competion which was icing on the cake!

DS took ACP English (college English) plus AP history and AP economics last year, so it was pretty important for him to be in class all the time. His other classes were pretty easy to make-up, but those 3 were killers if you didn't keep up.

Agreed. Your nephew has the opportunity to play at WDW during his Senior yr of HS with his symphony orchestra. I guess he's going then no matter what right?

You can find houses or condos within a 5 or 10 minute drive to WDW that you can rent for the week at reasonable prices. Many of them for the entire week will cost you $1000 or less. Many of them also have swimming pools! I think if it were my child/niece/nephew, I'd do everything I could to go if I were asked to go along. Clean our your garage and have a yard sale. Start putting $25 a week into a jar (that will give you $100 a month toward the trip). Don't eat out so that you can put what you would spend at a restaurant into your trip fund. We budget every dime in order to be able to pay for our trips. I'll do cleaning every 6 months and find stuff to sell to make some money.

POWELLRJ - I'm from central IN myself. Which HS was your son in show choir at? And is he going to college in state?

[NHdisneylover]

If it works better for the rest of hte family to go at a time other than the 18 y/o's trip AND the 18 y/o really does not mind the rest of the family going without him later on then i see no reason he could not be left at home (assuming he is typically responsible). He will be on his own in a few months at college anyway. My parents went to Mexico for two weeks during my junior year and one my senior year and I stayed home. I didn't want to miss school (I could have). It was a non issue.

Unless you and SiL are chaperones I am confused as to why you are going when the 18 y/o does. He will be super busy with scheduled activities and probably want to spend his free time with his friends. It seems like it will cost a lot for the two of you to go down which you may want to save for the family trip later on.

[maxiesmom]

Originally Posted by NHdisneylover

Unless you and SiL are chaperones I am confused as to why you are going when the 18 y/o does. He will be super busy with scheduled activities and probably want to spend his free time with his friends. It seems like it will cost a lot for the two of you to go down which you may want to save for the family trip later on.

They will be performing at the parks, so we would like to be there to watch!

[barnaby1]

Have you asked the 18 y.o? He he doesn't mind then leave him behind. He is an adult for heavens sake.

[NHdisneylover]

Originally Posted by maxiesmom

They will be performing at the parks, so we would like to be there to watch!

Well that does make sense. Be aware thought that their total performance time will likely be 30 minutes or so. We happened to be at WDW once when the one of our babysitters was their perfroming with his school orchestra. We were so excited about that and made apoint of seing them. There were two performance neither of which ran more than 15 minutes. It was really cool--but his parents were relieved when they found out how short the performances were that thay had opted not to go. I am NOT trying to talk you out of going--just want you to know what you are going to see (but ask--things could have changed so don't take my word for it).