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Old 08-07-2009, 02:25 PM   #91
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Originally Posted by jrmasm View Post
Yes, you can and people can judge you accordingly.
Before this thread gets closed, I'm wondering why you haven't addressed the posters who have asked you to explain why this is such a hot topic with you? There is obviously something going on here to explain your venom about the word jappy.
I've never heard that term before, so before it was explained on here I thought it was a typo in OP's post. Although I'm aware of the Jewish princess stereotype, it's not something I've ever encountered IRL as there aren't many Jewish folks in northeast Arkansas.
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Old 08-07-2009, 02:30 PM   #92
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What did I say that was hateful?

Go ahead and judge on my beliefs and upbringing. I'm completely fine with that. And I consider the source.
LOL - Whatever works for you. But, seriously, it isn't working for you, because you are way too bitter. Consider letting others live their lives with their own moral values and you might be happier.

FWIW, I don't use any of the negative adjectives mentioned in this thread, but I try not to impose my values on others - except for that one, that no one should impose their values on others...
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Old 08-07-2009, 02:35 PM   #93
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Originally Posted by jrmasm View Post
You and others can tell yourself that all you want but you are wrong. It is no different than gay or retard or the 'n' word.

It's really sad that you can't see that.
Since when is "gay" a slur?--I know the "f" word (in england a term used for a cigarette) isn't looked highly upon for gays, but I gotta say--GAY as slur when used to identify actual GAY people. Heck--it is used very very freely in support of gay rights?

My brother and his partner and my cousin and her partner and all the ummmm....non-heterosexual males we met at my brother and his partners commitment ceremony in Key West---would very much disagree!
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Old 08-07-2009, 02:37 PM   #94
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No, perception is more important than the intention.

This is no different than saying "you are so gay." Is that acceptable to you as well?
Gays use that statement with each other and they aren't offended.
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Old 08-07-2009, 02:39 PM   #95
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I'd have to give my sister an ultimatum--keep her kid in line or no longer be invited to be near my family. Fior mutli-family events, we would suck it up and be in attendance, but that sister will not say one cross word to my child.

Bottom line.

This isn't mean girl issue--this is family crap. (well it is a mean girl--but it's family crap, too!) I have no tolerance for family crap. It is not what family is supposed to be about. I also don't do to well with liars and it seems your DN may not quite be lying-but is omitting key information to her mother that she is saying mean things and thus is deserving of the snubs she gets from your daughter.

She does lie. She was here one afternoon, a few years ago, and my DS started dropping the fbomb! And DD told me that DN taught it to her. She denied it to me of course...but I did finally get her to say, yes I said it. I mentioned it to SIL that DN taught that word to DS, and she was instantly oh no...my DD would NEVER do that. I mentioned it to my brother and he just laughed.

We actually don't do much with them. Chanukah at their house (if we can't get out of it), a bbq or bday party during the year. When the girls are being friendly, they might hang out together. I usually do lots with my DH's family, and we are starting to do alot of holidays with my DS's future in-laws. They are great . Much better then either mine or DH's family LOL!!
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Old 08-07-2009, 02:43 PM   #96
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The only things I know about you, you have shown us in this thread.

WHich is a loving, caring, concerned, protective mom.
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Old 08-07-2009, 02:44 PM   #97
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LOL - Whatever works for you. But, seriously, it isn't working for you, because you are way too bitter. Consider letting others live their lives with their own moral values and you might be happier.

FWIW, I don't use any of the negative adjectives mentioned in this thread, but I try not to impose my values on others - except for that one, that no one should impose their values on others...
For the word JAP or JAPPY. Obviously the people that this word refer to and the ethnic group it refers to are happy with the word, refer to themselves with it and wear the label proudly. Because those affected have stated it is not a slur, it shouldn't be.

One is imposing their values on others when a group that is directly affected tells them that a word they are using is extremely insulting and please don't use it for demeaning situations and then they are basically told to go pound sand, that since "They" don't find it insulting, the group shouldn't. So, yes, that is imposing your values on something very, very strongly.

Most people who use the word retard to describe something dumb are not part of the group that retardation affects, therefore cannot decide whether the word is an insult to the retarded population or not.

It would be the same thing if the OP hadn't used the word first, a person not in the Jewish community used it, and the OP came on and said JAPPY was very insulting to the Jewish community. And then you (global you), said "too bad get over it, I am going to describe all stupid people as JAPS whether they were Jewish or not.

That would be insulting to the Jewish community AND be putting your own morals on it - deciding for a person whether they should be insulted or not.

If JAP all of a sudden started being used outside of the Jewish Community by non-Jews to describe some really nasty behavior, thus inferring that all Jews were nasty, then it would definitely become an insult to the community it refers back to.

There is a huge difference between using a word within a group and outsiders using the same word in a very negative way.

Last edited by goofy!; 08-07-2009 at 02:59 PM.
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Old 08-07-2009, 02:49 PM   #98
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So, do we ban all negative adjectives?

NO, not at all...I was just saying that, although people were stating it wasn't a negative word, for the purpose of her use in the OP, she meant it to be negative.
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Old 08-07-2009, 02:58 PM   #99
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Originally Posted by goofy! View Post
...One is imposing their values on others when a group that is directly affected tells them that a word they are using is extremely insulting and please don't use it for demeaning situations.

When they are basically telling that group to go pound sand, that "They" don't find it insulting, so the group shouldn't, then yes, that is imposing your values on something very, very strongly...
Let me use abortion as an example of my view point.

Some people find the very subject to be disgusting, and think that anyone that performs or receives an abortion should go to prison.

Others think that the rights of the mother supercede the rights of the fetus.

People align themselves all along the spectrum between these two points. In the end, its legality was decided with no discussion of moral relevancy. It was the rights of the mother than won out. Freedom won, even though millions were, and are, offended to the depths of their being. Freedom is important.

Religious and/or moral values of one group cannot be imposed on the masses - even in a case as potentially dangerous as this. If you are offended by a word, by all means tell the person that uses it - but don't expect them to agree with you or stop using it to please you. They might, but the choice is theirs. Freedom...
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Old 08-07-2009, 03:01 PM   #100
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Let me use abortion as an example of my view point.

Some people find the very subject to be disgusting, and think that anyone that performs or receives an abortion should go to prison.

Others think that the rights of the mother supercede the rights of the fetus.

People align themselves all along the spectrum between these two points. In the end, its legality was decided with no discussion of moral relevancy. It was the rights of the mother than won out. Freedom won, even though millions were, and are, offended to the depths of their being. Freedom is important.

Religious and/or moral values of one group cannot be imposed on the masses - even in a case as potentially dangerous as this. If you are offended by a word, by all means tell the person that uses it - but don't expect them to agree with you or stop using it to please you. They might, but the choice is theirs. Freedom...

Your example has absolutely nothing to do with the argument. The decision to having an abortion or not is not even closely related to insulting a group of people by using their "word" in a negative way.

The legal right to have or not to have a controversial medical procedure does not give one the right to insult a mass group of people, especially when that group of people have stated over and over again that the term is indeed very insulting.

This thread has gone off topic and my apologies to the OP.

Last edited by goofy!; 08-07-2009 at 03:07 PM.
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Old 08-07-2009, 03:05 PM   #101
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Your example has absolutely nothing to do with the argument. The decision to having an abortion or not is not even closely related to insulting a group of people by using their "word" in a negative way.
Sorry, I was not clear. I was not discussing the use of a word. I was explaining why we should not impose our values on others. Expecting someone else to change their behavior in any way because it upsets you is doing just that - whether it be abortion, vocabulary, using a child harness, putting your 8 year old child in a stroller, or whatever. Same behavior, different subject matter...
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Old 08-07-2009, 03:07 PM   #102
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...But keep trying...
I'll keep trying to explain myself if you will try to be less insulting...
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Old 08-07-2009, 03:10 PM   #103
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I'll keep trying to explain myself if you will try to be less insulting...

OMGoodness -The irony of it all, especially that you just spent half a thread arguing that one cannot be insulted by words.

BTW - I had edited it out before you quoted me because I did realize that it may come across as insulting and that was not my intention. Unlike the others that are arguing that they have the right to insulting language if they feel like, the insulted be damned.
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Old 08-07-2009, 03:14 PM   #104
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Something like this? Yes...
Do not parse my post in a way that changes it's meaning.

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But then it is all about you. I can't use the word because you don't want me to. I will say any word I want and you can say any word you want. That is the ultimate freedom. I will not tell you not to use any word at the same time you don't tell me not to use any word. Then we all have the entire catalog of language to use and everyone wins.
And everyone can make decisions about one another based on the verbiage that they choose.

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Gays use that statement with each other and they aren't offended.
That argument doesn't work. It's like me making the argument that it's OK for me to drop the N word simply because some black people use it.
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Old 08-07-2009, 03:14 PM   #105
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OMGoodness -The irony of it all, especially that you just spent half a thread arguing that one cannot be insulted by words.
What does one do when they have lost an argument? Deflect or begin insulting the other party. You have done both.

Bravo...
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