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Old 08-07-2009, 01:20 PM   #61
FireDancer
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Originally Posted by Jennasis View Post
This is one of the saddest, most infuriating things I've read in a while. As far as "who cares"?...I DO.
See, you are applying too narrow of a definition to the words if you are so offended. One meaning of retarded is someone who's mental acuity is lower than a particular threshold. There are other understood meanings in conversational English. One is a situation that is just dumb. This definition is separate than the other. An engine can have it's timing retarded, yet no one is accusing the engine of being mentally handicapped.

The same goes with gay. One definition of gay is someone who is sexually attracted to members of their same sex. Another definition is someone who is happy. Sill, another understood definition is a situation that is strange or different. All of these definitions are mutually exclusive.

When someone is accused of being, dressing like, or acting like a ho they are not being compared with a tool that is used to loosen clumped dirt. The word is used in a different context because it has different definitions in conversational (aka slang) dialogue.

No word offends me, not a single one. Not one used in front of me or even directed at me. Words are just collections of letters, I don't attach emotional value to them.
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:26 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by sbell111 View Post
Wow. You are going a little too far with the innocent victim bit.

The fact is, you meant for the word to be negative when you used it. It was a negative thing that your precious daughter wasn't. Also, I'm not buying that just because your Jewish means that the word isn't a slur. The true test is whether someone not in that group would be OK using it. I imagine that you would complain plenty if I called you 'jappy'.

Regarding the thread's topic, based on the tone of your posts, I imagine that you would not possibly believe that your wonderful daughter could possibly be at fault. It is likely that you and your SIL have much more in common then you would admit to yourself.
Ummm...no, I meant the word to be an adjective, descriptive. Meaning my DD does not have the spoiled/brat/diva attitude, she doesn't expect the world to drop at her feet and for mommy and daddy to buy her 400.00 jeans or shoes or other designer expensive items. That is how I meant it. Since I was the one who said it, I should know how it was meant. I don't need you or anyone else telling me what I mean.

And if someone would call me a JAP, I would laugh, because I am as far from a JAP as can be.

I am the first one to admit when my DD does wrong. WHen she comes to me saying well this person did this. I am like, ok..what lead up to this happening, what exactly did you say or do! I have done this for 26 years of being a parent. I know kids, especially mine aren't perfect. I also know that my DD will not be nasty just to be mean. If she did something to hurt someoens feelings then something lead up to it. Unless of course it has to do with her little brother, then she is 100000000% to blame ,

I know my DD, I know her faults and what she does do and doesn't do. I can also tell when she lies, cause she sucks at it.

The only thing my sil and I have in common is we are both female and Jewish and my family. That is it. I would never treat people the way does, let alone my kids and the things that she has done to my brother!! OH please.... why he is still there I don't know..but it is his life and not mine... thank G-D!!! I wouldn't be surprised if he left the second both girls were out of the house!

But please...continue to pass judgement on what I meant to say and how I say it, and what type of person I am . I mean, you know me so well!!
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:30 PM   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FireDancer View Post
See, you are applying too narrow of a definition to the words if you are so offended. One meaning of retarded is someone who's mental acuity is lower than a particular threshold. There are other understood meanings in conversational English. One is a situation that is just dumb. This definition is separate than the other. An engine can have it's timing retarded, yet no one is accusing the engine of being mentally handicapped.

The same goes with gay. One definition of gay is someone who is sexually attracted to members of their same sex. Another definition is someone who is happy. Sill, another understood definition is a situation that is strange or different. All of these definitions are mutually exclusive.

When someone is accused of being, dressing like, or acting like a ho they are not being compared with a tool that is used to loosen clumped dirt. The word is used in a different context because it has different definitions in conversational (aka slang) dialogue.

No word offends me, not a single one. Not one used in front of me or even directed at me. Words are just collections of letters, I don't attach emotional value to them.

I like your attitude . Today people are so politcally correct and afraid of things they say! When I was a kid you could say in anger, I am so angry I could kill you! If a kid says that today, they are supsended froms school and arrested!! It is NUTS!!
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2004 August - My surprise trip (no kids)!!! Pop/Poly/GF/AKL; 2004 Nov - Jersey Week AKL & Timeshare
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:40 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by JoiseyMom View Post
I like your attitude . Today people are so politcally correct and afraid of things they say! When I was a kid you could say in anger, I am so angry I could kill you! If a kid says that today, they are supsended froms school and arrested!! It is NUTS!!
Thank you. I was anticipating getting flamed because of my view on the emotional response people have to words. I think when someone gets offended by a word and they feel it necessary to chastise me for saying it they are selfish because they are trying to transfer their emotional response to a word onto me. No thank you.
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:43 PM   #65
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I think when someone gets offended by a word and they feel it necessary to chastise me for saying it they are selfish because they are trying to transfer their emotional response to a word onto me.

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Old 08-07-2009, 01:44 PM   #66
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Originally Posted by JoiseyMom View Post
... But please...continue to pass judgement on what I meant to say and how I say it, and what type of person I am . I mean, you know me so well!!
The only things I know about you, you have shown us in this thread.
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:44 PM   #67
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Ummm...no, I meant the word to be an adjective, descriptive. Meaning my DD does not have the spoiled/brat/diva attitude, she doesn't expect the world to drop at her feet and for mommy and daddy to buy her 400.00 jeans or shoes or other designer expensive items. That is how I meant it. Since I was the one who said it, I should know how it was meant. I don't need you or anyone else telling me what I mean.

Yes and negative.
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:45 PM   #68
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Originally Posted by FireDancer View Post
Thank you. I was anticipating getting flamed because of my view on the emotional response people have to words. I think when someone gets offended by a word and they feel it necessary to chastise me for saying it they are selfish because they are trying to transfer their emotional response to a word onto me. No thank you.
So basically, we should have carte blanche to call anyone anything, right? After all, they are just words. If people get upset by something we say it says more about them than us.
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:47 PM   #69
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I wouldn't feel comfortable using the word since I'm not a member of the group it's describing, but I certainly have Jewish friends (and an 80 year old Jewish boss) who use it pretty casually about their own loved ones.

And a heck of a lot of DIS posters refer to their daughters having a "princess" attitude -- combine that with ethnic pride and it seems like that's what the term means within (at least some parts of) the Jewish community. Other posters, on the other hand, would be horrified if their daughter displayed "princess" attitude and would use that in a negative sense as the OP did.

The people having the most trouble with it are focusing on the word "Jewish" and the people who are fine with it are focusing on the "Princess."
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:49 PM   #70
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Exactly my point. Call me anything you want, try to offend me. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Now, I wouldn't call somonee who was mentally handicapped retarded but I am saying I would use the word as slang for something else. I chose to use words as I want not as some PC-police officer says I should.

Again, a word is just that, a word. No more and no less. Also, in none of my previous posts did I say I called anyone anything, I merely used a word to describe a thing or situation using one if its understood definitions.

Last edited by FireDancer; 08-07-2009 at 01:55 PM.
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:51 PM   #71
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Originally Posted by sbell111 View Post
...If people get upset by something we say it says more about them than us.
Something like this? Yes...
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:52 PM   #72
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Exactly my point. Call me anything you want, try to offend me. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Well the problem with that is it's not all about you.

When other people are offended by your words, you ought be reconsider using those words.
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:56 PM   #73
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[QUOTE=JoiseyMom;33063339]Ummm...no, I meant the word to be an adjective, descriptive. Meaning my DD does not have the spoiled/brat/diva attitude, she doesn't expect the world to drop at her feet and for mommy and daddy to buy her 400.00 jeans or shoes or other designer expensive items. That is how I meant it. Since I was the one who said it, I should know how it was meant. I don't need you or anyone else telling me what I mean.

And if someone would call me a JAP, I would laugh, because I am as far from a JAP as can be. QUOTE]

If it helps - I do understand where you were coming from on this and do not think you were using a slur of any sorts.

It's IS a descriptor word. It's like saying someone is blonde. You can say it in a factual way "Her hair is blonde." or you can add depths of personal meaning to it by the tone of voice and the ways it's phrased "Oh, she's so blonde"

Some people are jappy. they just are. it's not an insult. They work very hard to be that way. I tried for a few years to do it, to better fit in, but just couldn't keep it up.
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Old 08-07-2009, 01:57 PM   #74
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Well the problem with that is it's not all about you.

When other people are offended by your words, you ought be reconsider using those words.
But then it is all about you. I can't use the word because you don't want me to. I will say any word I want and you can say any word you want. That is the ultimate freedom. I will not tell you not to use any word at the same time you don't tell me not to use any word. Then we all have the entire catalog of language to use and everyone wins.
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Old 08-07-2009, 02:01 PM   #75
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I am really sorry about the situation with your daughter and to be honest I have a cousin who acts the way the "mean girl" does. I had to deal with her attitude for years and finally I just didn't let myself get wrapped up in her mess. My aunt (her mother) often has called me stuck up for my behavior but I chose not to associate with someone who not only was disruptive but I figured was a bad influence. During a family occasion, your daughter can just be polite but then just avoid the mean girl like the plague and you know what, the whole thing with your DN's parents actng the way they do is immature. As long as your daughter is polite yet reserved, they have no say. I also suggest that in school maybe your daughter should join some activities in school that would take some time away from the cousin. Also, as far as camp goes, I don't know what I can say but I am really sorry.
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