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Old 08-05-2009, 04:00 PM   #1
SharpMomOfTwo
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Huge Vent - Enter At Your Own Risk

HUGE VENT POST - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK


Why am I trying to lose weight - its because I'm fat. Why am/was I fat, because I used to eat to much, and didn't do much exercise - I had horrible eating habbits, and thought they were fine.

One of my major goals in life is to make sure this does not happen to my children. I don't want them to be fat - I don't want them to have to go through the same stuff I was put through in school - being called fat, bowling ball, wide load, etc. Why is this so *&@!!@**&( **&*&%$# hard for our family to understand this?!?!?!?!?!

Every day, we say to my inlaws "No treats today, they already got something last night." and every night, the kids come home and tell us about the ice cream, cookies, pudding, etc that they had that day (literally all that in one day). Why can't they look in the mirror - see how they look, and realize they are 250+ because of the crap they eat???? Why can't they look at their own daughter, and realize that she weighs 300+ lbs (and has major health problems) because of what they fed her, and the fact that she has no idea how to eat now as an adult because of it?!?!??

I am ready, right now, to quit my job and stay home with my kids if they can't get this through their thick friggin sculls. I'll go on food stamps if I have to - I will not allow this any longer.

DH and I are going over there tonight to get the kids, and we will be having a sit down with them. We will talk civily, but they are very defencive about it - they just can't understand why eating sweets and pure crap all day long could possible be bad for a 3 & 4 year old. They are substituting LOVE with COOKIES and CAKES and they refuse to see it. I don't want my kids to look in the mirror and hate themselves in highschool because they can't get a boyfriend, or don't look good in the new fashion. Life is all about looks - people treat you on how you look.

Above that, I of course want my children to be plain healthy, I want them to jog with me, and maybe even do a 5k with me one day. I have to work, we need help from people (family) to watch them while we are at work, but this is not helping. I just don't understand how you can say something to people every day, and they just do whatever they want, without a care in the world. Obviously we are just stupid, and know nothing. I've lost almost 90 lbs now, and acording to my MIL, I've done it by starving myself - thats they only way to lose wight you know. She doesn't even KNOW what healthy eating IS!!!!!!


OK, that was my vent. I'm sure there are others out there dealing with this, and I'm sure there are people out there who want to tell me to shut up. I'm just so frustrated at this point. I don't want my kids to end up like I did - eating crap all the time because they just don't know any better, and then looking in the mirror and saying "Holy crap - how did this happen to me?!?" I'm so thankfull that I found Weight Watchers, and that I know what healthy eating is. I just don't want me kids to have to go through all that I did growing up, and in my adult life - try getting a job at 225lbs! I just want the best for them, and I know this is not it. Now I'm rambling.....
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:03 PM   #2
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Maybe you can pack all their meals and snacks to send over with them.
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:05 PM   #3
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I have dealt with it my entire life. I understand. Obesity kills. Do what you can to save your children from this abusive situation...
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:06 PM   #4
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How old are your kids-are they old enough to be on board with the healthy eating/exercise plan?
Can you send their food and snacks with them to your parents?
Could you compromise with one treat a day at the grandparents house?

Edit: sorry, I reread the OP and saw the kids are only 3 and 4. I don't think you can make the kids responsible for their own food. Hopefully your parents will respect your views.
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:06 PM   #5
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I don't have any advice for you, I just wanted to say congratulations on your weight loss! Weight Watchers is a very helpful program for many people.
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:10 PM   #6
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No advice, you're doing a great job.
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:13 PM   #7
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:16 PM   #8
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OMG!!! I saw your weight loss counter.....GOOD JOB!!!!!!! I know for me my main issue is portion control. And even if your kids walk around the block 1-2 times 3x's a week that is a good start...Hmmm Maybe I should practice what i preach and put my tennis shoes on and take that 15 minute walk...I'll be back in a few....
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:35 PM   #9
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Good job on your weight loss! As for the kids, you're in a really tough spot. Many grandparents look at it as their perogative to spoil the kids (God knows mine do! with the cookies/ ice cream/ candy). But, since yours are the caregivers for an extended amount of time during the day, the spoiling isn't a once in a while treat. As long as they are watching your children for free, I would suggest going about it with them in as kind of a way as possible. They are doing you a huge favor all ready! Off the bat, I'd thank them for watching the kids...then bring up the the food issue. I agree with other posters about supplying their food and snacks. Good luck!
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:38 PM   #10
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I know the feeling! I'm not greatly overweight--I need to lose around 30 pounds. But I hear you on the generational thing. My mom, grandmother and great grandmother all battle the "chubbies." Two years ago I was determined to master the 30 pounds b4 my 40th b-day. Here I am 7 months from 40 and still fighting.

I will say this--I think the generations before mine (I'm almost 40) see food differently. They equate food with love/praise. My mom LOVES to feed my kids. Really gets get pleasure from watching them eat. I try not to get too worked up about it...yes--they go to my mom's and have full sugar Kool-aide. My mom even melts the sugar in hot water so the Kool-aide is never gritty. She makes mashed potatoes with a stick of butter and 2% milk has never entered their house.

It really isn't an issue I'm willing to hurt my Mom's feelings over. Just try to feed them extra healthy when they are with you...keep reminding the in-laws about how important it is to you that the kids eat healthy. And most importantly, keep educating the kids. My DD is 6 and has started to ask what foods are healthy and what makes up a healthy meal. Of course, I want to say--Really, do you see my butt?? Like I know!

Great advise from PP--don't tick off your free caregiver--daycare sucks and the food at daycares and schools is 10xs more fattening that what they are getting at home
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:39 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SharpMomOfTwo View Post
Life is all about looks - people treat you on how you look.
Please don't teach that attitude to your children. That's as big a no-no as feeding them junk.
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:43 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SharpMomOfTwo View Post

OK, that was my vent. I'm sure there are others out there dealing with this, and I'm sure there are people out there who want to tell me to shut up. I'm just so frustrated at this point. I don't want my kids to end up like I did - eating crap all the time because they just don't know any better, and then looking in the mirror and saying "Holy crap - how did this happen to me?!?" I'm so thankfull that I found Weight Watchers, and that I know what healthy eating is. I just don't want me kids to have to go through all that I did growing up, and in my adult life - try getting a job at 225lbs! I just want the best for them, and I know this is not it. Now I'm rambling.....
I can so identify with those feelings. I recently had an epiphany of my own("228? I'm not fat! How did that happen?" Weight Watchers has been wonderful for me. I think you're doing the right thing. Like you, I'm overweight because I never developed good eating habits. I was anorexic(food restricting) when i was in my teens and 20s and I really started ballooning up about 14 years ago. It's an eating disorder and I will do anything to keep my kids from developing eating disorders themselves.

What is the working relationship between you & your parents? By that I mean, are they your child care providers? Are the kids over there every day? I find that when I take "free" help from my mother there is always a cost to be paid. They might feel that because they are your stand-in, and they are the grandparents, that they should have the right to feed the kids as they please. If they were paid unrelated daycare providers you could nip that in the bud pretty quick. But it's a lot harder when it's your parents.

As I see it you have a couple options. Get your DH on board and present your parents with the New Rules. They may or may not be interested in complying. They very well might just say "yes" and keep on with what they're doing. So you better have some "teeth" in it. What happens if they don't comply? The only other option(besides quitting your job, i mean) would be to find alternative child care.

You are not in an enviable position. Any criticism of your children's diet is going to be seen as personal criticism of your parents.
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:44 PM   #13
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I agree with your rant and you are doing a great job in trying to get your kids to eat healthier.

Tell the grandparents that if they don't follow your meal plans, you'll have no qualms in quitting your job to see that they eat right.

My mom taught me bad food habits and I wish I had your reserve. You lost an amazing amount of weight and hopefully, the grandparents will see the light. Tell them you don't want your kids to go through that too.

I CAN lose weight. Heck, I stopped smoking cold turkey on my own. I just have to get the nerve and the right frame of mind, like yours.
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:46 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SharpMomOfTwo View Post
HUGE VENT POST - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK


Why am I trying to lose weight - its because I'm fat. Why am/was I fat, because I used to eat to much, and didn't do much exercise - I had horrible eating habbits, and thought they were fine.

One of my major goals in life is to make sure this does not happen to my children. I don't want them to be fat - I don't want them to have to go through the same stuff I was put through in school - being called fat, bowling ball, wide load, etc. Why is this so *&@!!@**&( **&*&%$# hard for our family to understand this?!?!?!?!?!

Every day, we say to my inlaws "No treats today, they already got something last night." and every night, the kids come home and tell us about the ice cream, cookies, pudding, etc that they had that day (literally all that in one day). Why can't they look in the mirror - see how they look, and realize they are 250+ because of the crap they eat???? Why can't they look at their own daughter, and realize that she weighs 300+ lbs (and has major health problems) because of what they fed her, and the fact that she has no idea how to eat now as an adult because of it?!?!??

I am ready, right now, to quit my job and stay home with my kids if they can't get this through their thick friggin sculls. I'll go on food stamps if I have to - I will not allow this any longer.

DH and I are going over there tonight to get the kids, and we will be having a sit down with them. We will talk civily, but they are very defencive about it - they just can't understand why eating sweets and pure crap all day long could possible be bad for a 3 & 4 year old. They are substituting LOVE with COOKIES and CAKES and they refuse to see it. I don't want my kids to look in the mirror and hate themselves in highschool because they can't get a boyfriend, or don't look good in the new fashion. Life is all about looks - people treat you on how you look.

Above that, I of course want my children to be plain healthy, I want them to jog with me, and maybe even do a 5k with me one day. I have to work, we need help from people (family) to watch them while we are at work, but this is not helping. I just don't understand how you can say something to people every day, and they just do whatever they want, without a care in the world. Obviously we are just stupid, and know nothing. I've lost almost 90 lbs now, and acording to my MIL, I've done it by starving myself - thats they only way to lose wight you know. She doesn't even KNOW what healthy eating IS!!!!!!


OK, that was my vent. I'm sure there are others out there dealing with this, and I'm sure there are people out there who want to tell me to shut up. I'm just so frustrated at this point. I don't want my kids to end up like I did - eating crap all the time because they just don't know any better, and then looking in the mirror and saying "Holy crap - how did this happen to me?!?" I'm so thankfull that I found Weight Watchers, and that I know what healthy eating is. I just don't want me kids to have to go through all that I did growing up, and in my adult life - try getting a job at 225lbs! I just want the best for them, and I know this is not it. Now I'm rambling.....

New rule! I didn't see if anyone quoted her in full!
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Old 08-05-2009, 04:51 PM   #15
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Send applesauce cups, yogurt, fruit cups etc every day with the kids and put your foot down



My MIL always had a chocolate cake ready to cut when we visited-my husband's whole family is very overweight. Now that the inlaws are elderly, they have tons of health problems because of the weight.
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