Wedding question? *UPDATE POST 64* - The DIS Discussion Forums

disneystacy · 07-27-2009, 03:09 PM

Do you think it is appropriate for sister of the bride (matron of honor) and brother of the bride(groomsman) to leave the wedding a half hour early (after all the cake cutting, dances etc are completed) to get home to a infant (12 weeks old) and a hubby sick from chemo(unexpected, was doing ok and left wedding a hour prior) or are they expected to stay until the end and then help "clean up" no matter what, even though they were not told this was what was expected?

Thanks for any opinions.

TEENEE · 07-27-2009, 03:18 PM

If I were the bride I would not expect my siblings to stay under those circumstances. If they left just because they didn't want to help I would make a mental note and let it go. Hopefully the bride and groom have other friends and family that were willing to stay and help. A cleanup crew should have been established before the wedding.

esbrick · 07-27-2009, 03:24 PM

I would hope that with these extenuating circumstances that the Bride and Groom would understand and be happy they could join for the festivities. Some would see that as a gift.

If they were leaving early to go to another party or trying to get out of something that's different but from what I understand from your post this is not the case.

Rora · 07-27-2009, 03:24 PM

It would be 100% perfectly fine with me if both left after the ceremony.

babytrees · 07-27-2009, 03:24 PM

I think they needed to go home to their respective families.

Lisa_M · 07-27-2009, 03:27 PM

I think it is appropriate to leave a little early. Those people at home need the caregivers more than the cleanup crew needs 2 extra people.

DisneyBlonde · 07-27-2009, 03:33 PM

If I was the bride in that scenario, I would be understanding of their need to leave early. And I would be happy that the person undergoing chemo was able to attend at all!

onelilspark · 07-27-2009, 03:35 PM

I think it's perfectly acceptable.

C.Ann · 07-27-2009, 03:37 PM

As far as I'm concerned, it would be fine..

disneystacy · 07-27-2009, 03:37 PM

Thank you for your opinions. My mother is fit to be tied that my brother and I left my sisters wedding 1/2 hour early to check on my hubby, my 2 year old and my brothers child (who was left with a babysitter). She told us we were "suppose" to stay until the end. Too be honest, my sister was very unorganized and I couldn't take the chance we would be part of cleanup, thus extending my stay even longer than need be. I felt it would have been worse to just up and leave at the end, rather than leave after others started leaving.

terri01p · 07-27-2009, 03:44 PM

Ok off topic :

When my dd got married, my FIL ( my dd paw-paw) left the wedding right after the cermony to get to home depot/ lowes before they closed.

lulugirl · 07-27-2009, 03:45 PM

Your mother is out of line.
I can't imagine any reasonable person having a problem w/ you leaving early.

Disneyadore · 07-27-2009, 03:51 PM

My sister would have driven my home herself if my husband had chemo.

Tell your husband I'm sending him prayers and love.

Chemo is so horrible.
Bin there myself.

DWGal210 · 07-27-2009, 03:51 PM

OP, you were for sure not in the wrong. And unless the bride had worked it out with the wedding party beforehand that they would be cleaning crew, there was no reason for you to stay. I guess I've never been in a wedding party that was expected to do cleanup (and I was a bridesmaid 4 times in about 9 months). Now, for one wedding, the wedding party did decorate the reception hall the night before, but no clean up.

The Mystery Machine · 07-27-2009, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disneystacy

Do you think it is appropriate for sister of the bride (matron of honor) and brother of the bride(groomsman) to leave the wedding a half hour early (after all the cake cutting, dances etc are completed) to get home to a infant (12 weeks old) and a hubby sick from chemo(unexpected, was doing ok and left wedding a hour prior) or are they expected to stay until the end and then help "clean up" no matter what, even though they were not told this was what was expected?

Thanks for any opinions.

I would have left with my DH to be honest.

I guess your mother lacks empathy? That would be a character issue and something you cannot change or convince.

07-27-2009, 03:09 PM	#1
disneystacy DIS Veteran Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 642	Wedding question? UPDATE POST 64 Do you think it is appropriate for sister of the bride (matron of honor) and brother of the bride(groomsman) to leave the wedding a half hour early (after all the cake cutting, dances etc are completed) to get home to a infant (12 weeks old) and a hubby sick from chemo(unexpected, was doing ok and left wedding a hour prior) or are they expected to stay until the end and then help "clean up" no matter what, even though they were not told this was what was expected? Thanks for any opinions. __________________ Me(37) DH(39) DD(11) DD(7) DS(3) Last edited by disneystacy; 07-29-2009 at 07:21 AM. Reason: added info

07-27-2009, 03:24 PM	#3
esbrick DIS Veteran Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 639	I would hope that with these extenuating circumstances that the Bride and Groom would understand and be happy they could join for the festivities. Some would see that as a gift. If they were leaving early to go to another party or trying to get out of something that's different but from what I understand from your post this is not the case. __________________ Mike (DH), Eilis (ME), Meg (DD) April 09 - Krick / Brady families Spring Break to SSR and the Disney Wonder December 08 - Mike & Eilis' Disneymoon at SSR May 08 - SSR DFH & Me March 08 - DCL DFH, DSD & Me!! September 07 - Labor Day Family Trip More trips not enough room!

07-27-2009, 03:24 PM	#4
Rora I'm the needy, sexy Unicorn fruit-hating Ballerina I just eat it. I bite into it. Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 4,203	It would be 100% perfectly fine with me if both left after the ceremony. __________________ Me-Rory, 23 and DFiance-Jackson, 24 Marrying my Prince Charming April 10 2010. Happy Valentine's Day!

07-27-2009, 03:24 PM	#5
babytrees I hate when you've been salivating over something and then it disappoints!! Who has a big toe the same size as the rest of their toes??? I know I don't have uniform feet Join Date: May 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 17,486	I think they needed to go home to their respective families. __________________ Theresa- "For some, normal is the failure of potential" mom to Cassidy and Abi my favorite princesses

07-27-2009, 03:27 PM	#6
Lisa_M DIS Veteran Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 2,221	I think it is appropriate to leave a little early. Those people at home need the caregivers more than the cleanup crew needs 2 extra people. __________________ Me DH DD My baby is now 2 years old!

07-27-2009, 03:18 PM	#2
TEENEE I can wiggle my ears Must eat one thing at a time Member of the 3n club Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: St. Petersburg, Fl Posts: 1,278	If I were the bride I would not expect my siblings to stay under those circumstances. If they left just because they didn't want to help I would make a mental note and let it go. Hopefully the bride and groom have other friends and family that were willing to stay and help. A cleanup crew should have been established before the wedding.

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07-27-2009, 03:33 PM	#7
DisneyBlonde Popcorn and a Cold Beer..doesn't get any better than this! Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 2,100	If I was the bride in that scenario, I would be understanding of their need to leave early. And I would be happy that the person undergoing chemo was able to attend at all! __________________ Tink is my signature color! POP Fridge Swap

07-27-2009, 03:35 PM	#8
onelilspark DIS Veteran Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 3,735	I think it's perfectly acceptable. __________________ A WDW Nut Makes a Pilgrimage-DLR PTR I've been BOOed! Thanks that's nice!! Dining Report Feb '09 Trip Report Feb '09 Dining Report Aug '09-QSDP Trip Report Aug '09 Pre-Trip Report Aug & Oct '09 Dining Report Oct '09-QSDP, F&W

07-27-2009, 03:37 PM	#9
C.Ann We'll remember when... No time for green bananas When the going gets tough, she gets the Palmolive!! If I knew we were going to be graded here, I might try harder Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 28,920	As far as I'm concerned, it would be fine.. __________________ C.Ann ----------------- *"Scars remind us where we've been.. They don't have to dictate where we're going.."* "Life ain't always beautiful.....but it's a beautiful ride." "We won't be sad, we'll be glad for all the life we've had and we'll remember when...."

07-27-2009, 03:44 PM	#11
terri01p the tail was in my hair, that's what woke me, I'm still having nightmares about it Gosh darn once again I've got another thread locked up Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,195	Ok off topic : When my dd got married, my FIL ( my dd paw-paw) left the wedding right after the cermony to get to home depot/ lowes before they closed. __________________

07-27-2009, 03:45 PM	#12
lulugirl Bakery Boxes from my DH send me over the moon! Teeth brushed and chapstick on.. I'm good to go! I just had a visual of a big, hairy tarantula in a pink tutu and ballet slippers Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Too hot USA Posts: 4,421	Your mother is out of line. I can't imagine any reasonable person having a problem w/ you leaving early.

07-27-2009, 03:51 PM	#13
Disneyadore DIS Veteran Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 926	My sister would have driven my home herself if my husband had chemo. Tell your husband I'm sending him prayers and love. Chemo is so horrible. Bin there myself. __________________ Life is so short,that's why I'm just Goofin around. I'm walking on sunshine

07-27-2009, 03:51 PM	#14
DWGal210 DIS Veteran Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,569	OP, you were for sure not in the wrong. And unless the bride had worked it out with the wedding party beforehand that they would be cleaning crew, there was no reason for you to stay. I guess I've never been in a wedding party that was expected to do cleanup (and I was a bridesmaid 4 times in about 9 months). Now, for one wedding, the wedding party did decorate the reception hall the night before, but no clean up. __________________ Check out my TR - Our Totally Tinsel Christmas Vacation! http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2364285[/b][/color] Thanks, GrumpyPirate!

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