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Old 08-07-2009, 11:32 PM   #46
TinkerBrie
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So sad I am sorry for your loss. I just wanted to sent you a hug...
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Old 08-08-2009, 05:30 PM   #47
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Sorry for your loss

I am sorry for your loss - I can't imagine the pain you're in.

For what it's worth I can tell you that my brother was murdered when he was 18.(1974) None of us, to this day, have really gotten over the loss but as the years passed Michael's being gone got a little easier to deal with. Time is a great healer - it eases the grief but leaves the happiness of the memories.

I hope that the memories you have will sustain you as you learn to pick up the pieces and go on.
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Old 08-11-2009, 01:03 PM   #48
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Never visited this forum until today, after reading the lost of AlaskaMoms son, and reading about yours on that thread as well...

I have no words, just tears and hugs for you...
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Old 08-16-2009, 11:17 AM   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pfishgirl View Post


Why can't my Husband Understand and Accept the fact that I do NOT want to go to MNSSHP this year??

It would be the 1st one we've ever done without our son and I am Not ready for that!!!!

I even told him NO!!! and Why and he just does Not get it!!

Stacy - the only thing I can tell you is that those "firsts" are so tough but unfortunately you have to work thru them. I'm not saying to to it now - it may just be too soon and raw for it. Each "first" after my brother left us was so difficult. The "seconds" weren't much easier either. But I have found after time (10 years now) that I can now think of him without all the pain and remember the memories and smile. I see his children now grown and know that he is so proud of them. Only you know what you can handle. You know deep down that these are all things that you will have to face as time goes on. You just may not be ready this time around.
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Old 08-17-2009, 01:02 AM   #50
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Thank You All for your constant support and your kind words and sharing your stories with me




It is greatly appreciated
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Old 08-22-2009, 12:07 AM   #51
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Stacy...just sending you a hug to let you know that I'm thinking about you.
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Old 08-22-2009, 09:14 AM   #52
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Stacy,
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Old 08-22-2009, 04:20 PM   #53
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My heart goes out to you. There is no pain such as losing a child. (Mine was also an only child, and could not have any more.) Few people know that happened to me many years ago. Took me probably 25 years just to be able to think back on those days without pain and depression.
There is awful lot of mixed bag of emotions and stages you will pass through. And you will never entirely get over it.
The old saying of time heals wounds is true. What they don't say is it is an extremely slow and painful process.
I don't know that I could be of any help or comfort. However feel free to PM even if you just need a stranger's shoulder to cry on and vent.

Last edited by Luv2Roam; 08-22-2009 at 04:39 PM.
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Old 08-22-2009, 04:38 PM   #54
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Something to also ponder. Some of us have learned the hard way the cycle of life and death is very unpredictable. My thought is once I am gone I would not want others to not enjoy their lives and move on.
Honor your son by enjoying your life and living. It's good to remember. But don't live in the past. Your son would not want you to no longer enjoy life and spend your life grieving for him and what could have been.
All easier said than done I know.
Take nothing for granted. We all do so much. Such as when we leave in a car, we assume we will come back home and life will be normal. It just doesn't always work that way and there is nothing you can do about it.
Again, now more than ever take care of you and yours.
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Old 08-22-2009, 07:25 PM   #55
pfishgirl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luv2Roam View Post
My heart goes out to you. There is no pain such as losing a child. (Mine was also an only child, and could not have any more.) Few people know that happened to me many years ago. Took me probably 25 years just to be able to think back on those days without pain and depression.
There is awful lot of mixed bag of emotions and stages you will pass through. And you will never entirely get over it.
The old saying of time heals wounds is true. What they don't say is it is an extremely slow and painful process.
I don't know that I could be of any help or comfort. However feel free to PM even if you just need a stranger's shoulder to cry on and vent.
I am very sorry for your loss

We also have not been able to have anymore children. I know the pain of that as well, the trying, the hoping, the praying and then only to be disappointed one more time.

Thank you for sharing with me your loss
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Old 08-23-2009, 06:13 PM   #56
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(((Stacy))) I am so, so sorry. Damien is with you... try to hold on to every memory to get you through these impossible days...often moments, minutes, hours. your heart is shattered.

I know you have likely heard this already, but please, talk about Damien as often as you want/need. He is still your son and will be forever....Try not to think about what family or friends may think - they cannot possibly understand. It is natural for you to talk and think about Damien.

Sometimes family and friends do not want to speak of Damien because they fear it will be harder for you - I've learned to explain to to everyone that nothing is more painful than losing my child, but hearing his name gives me comfort and even joy.

Yesterday it was the 10 year anniversary of my son unexpectedly passing...the first 2 yrs are the most difficult....do not let anyone tell you differently. Try to find others who will understand: http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/ is one of the best. My DD and I attended the Bereaved Parents National Conference after 9 mos...we feared it would be too difficult, but it was the best thing we could have done...

As for your upcoming trip - try to dig deep inside and do what feels right. Of course, you have your DH and without a doubt he is suffering his in own way. I canceled a Disney trip we were due to take a month after we lost Toby..I did not return for 2 yrs and even then it was very, very difficult. A lot of tears, but joy as well. He sent me rainbows that trip...and it seemed in every park we heard "Over the Rainbow" playing for who knows what reason. I believe it was Toby comforting his mom and letting me know he was with me.

It does sounds like it is too soon for MSSCHP. I'm sure you've tried to explain to your DH that just as he must go, you cannot. If you do decide to attend,perhaps leave if it gets too much. Halloween and Christmas were Toby's favorite holidays...it is only the last couple of yrs I can even answer the door again for Trick or Treaters.

I am sorry this is so long...I just want you to know you are not alone, Stacy. We are here for you any time...I sent a pm with my email and phone number.

Take one moment at a time...let the tears come.....scream, sob...someday you will be able to smile and feel joy again because you will want to honor Damien's life.

Take gentle care, dear Stacy. Holding you very near in heart and prayer.
Christine
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Last edited by Minnie&Nana; 08-23-2009 at 06:37 PM. Reason: typos
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Old 08-25-2009, 09:22 PM   #57
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I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you
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Old 08-26-2009, 10:22 AM   #58
pfishgirl
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Thank You All

Yesterday was a bad day.. My Grams would of been 94 yesterday. So between thinking of her and of course my son... I was weepy all day long..

It's been 15 weeks today since he was taken from us

I am looking forward to my support group Tuesday cause I can use it
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Old 08-26-2009, 11:28 AM   #59
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Hugs to you Stacy. Look at you, you've made it 15 weeks. I'm sure you felt like you could never go on. You are stronger than you think. Tomorrow will be 15 weeks and 1 day....then 15 weeks and 2 days....take it one day at a time. We're all thining of you. Good luck at your support group, I hope it will help you to share you story with others who have been there. There are so many here on the DIS who experienced the loss of a child, I'm so sorry for all of you. Hopefully you can all help each other get through to the next day.
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Old 08-26-2009, 08:56 PM   #60
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Hugs Stacy,

Just happened to stumble across your thread today. I didn't even realize this part of the board even existed. I am so very sorry for your loss.

4 weeks ago today I lost my son too. He would have been 4 next month. He struggled with many health issues all his life, but his death was still so sudden and unexpected. He developed pneumonia and kidney failure. After an intense 2 day battle in PICU, Noah's brain was no longer functioning and we had to make the very painful decision to let him go. I feel your pain. To bury a child is just so very, very wrong. I struggle to make it through each day...and to somehow try to help my other kids through this all. But sometimes I can barely even breathe. It's so tough on our marriage too. Noah was my world. I hate that this is my new reality.

Stacy, you made it through 15 weeks. That gives me hope. For now all we can do is just take one day, one hour, one minute or even just one breath at a time, and we will make it through another day.
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