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Old 06-21-2009, 03:03 AM   #31
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While I agree that family is SUPER important, I would think that if a "close" family member were even CONSIDERING getting married, they would let us know once they heard us remotely talking about a trip. That way, there would be no surprise weddings to pop up. Heck, last spring we were talking to some friends (okay... so maybe it was February) about our son's b-day and they mentioned when they were having their wedding - all of this was discussed even before the save the date cards were sent. Turns out they were planning the wedding for DSs b-day. That was plenty of time to move up his party a week so we could all spend time together and have fun. It ended up working out better than we thought it would, but again, we had plenty of time to make arrangements to move dates around. It's so difficult to pull off a full wedding in 3 months, let alone tell everyone the good news.

Your trip is set. That is a time that you reserved to spend with your family. While missing a family wedding is sometimes looked down on (by the relatives) they should understand that this is a time that you are considering special by taking your family for the summer. Besides, you said yourself that the airport issues would put someone out what 2.5 hours to pick you up? If I were the person in charge of picking you up, I'd tell you to stay where you were and we'd see you at the next family reunion.

Don't cut the trip short because someone failed to mention a little thing like marriage... send a lovely gift (like PPs have mentioned, find something fabulous ((and personal to them)) at WDW) and have a great time.

Last edited by kwitcherkicken99; 06-21-2009 at 03:07 AM. Reason: adding stuff
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Old 06-21-2009, 09:07 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by disneyjunkie View Post
So third cousins?

Yeah, I would still attend.
Not thirds cousins but first cousins twice removed (you related to them as their grandparents are you are first cousins but you are two generations older then them).

The children of two first cousins are second cousins. Their kids would be third cousins.

Since you always attend events and this was a quick plan, I would keep the vacation plans and give a nice gift and I would be sure to attend all the new baby events.
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Old 06-21-2009, 09:53 AM   #33
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I agree with the others. I think you have enough "commitment" going to a wedding shower, baby shower, and visiting the baby.

From another "bride" POV:
I was just married 10 months ago. I alerted my family with save the dates LONG before my wedding - so most of them were there. But if I hadn't, well, I got married in August and expect that many people would have been on vacation! Lots of people didn't come to my shower due to their vacations, but that's ok, because it was in June and they only had a month's notice.
They are the ones doing the quick wedding, so they KNOW that people won't all be able to come - as others have said, if it REALLY had mattered that you were there, you would have been asked if the date was OK.
They will understand. Especially if you still attend all the other things, and if you send a gift. Other family may talk, but they will understand. No one will actually care on the day of the wedding... just one less person to talk to, that's all.

It's not like you're ignoring your family and their blessed event. You will still be there for the OTHER blessed events around this one, and you are still acknowledging this one.
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Old 06-21-2009, 11:18 AM   #34
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Didn't read all the responses so sorry if this has already been asked, How close a relationship with the couple being married?

My feeling is that if it was a very close relationship then you wouldn't need to ask us if you should go or not. It woud be, "You're getting married- can't wait!!"

If they're not so close and your torn because you just don't want to offend family then I'd skip the wedding. I don't worry about stuf like that. In that case my attitude is, if my presence was so important then you should have checked the dates with me.

I would send a really nice gift and regrets.
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Old 06-21-2009, 12:01 PM   #35
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I would definitely miss the wedding. A sister or brother sure but not a cousin. My family is extremely close as well yet when my cousins have gotten married - all with plenty of advance notice - not every cousin came, including my wedding. No one was offended or hurt. I doubt anyone will bat an eye and, if they do, then they're probably the type to easily upset.
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Old 06-21-2009, 02:20 PM   #36
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Originally Posted by AmyBWV99 View Post
Thanks so much for all the feedback!

We just found out 2 days ago no invitations are even out yet that this was all hastily happening baby or wedding.

It's DHs 1st cousin, they live far but they were close growing up.

We thought it may be a whole other matter if our children or DH were invited to be in the wedding but right now we are leaning towards missing it. We're kind of 70/30 right now. Mainly because we will go to the wedding shower and will attend the baby shower and then visit the baby once it's here which is right on top of Christmas. We go to WDW every October but hadn't really told anyone our dates for this year only because they are typically appox the same week every year.

We are under the wire since we need to be buying return tix here VERY soon!
I'm very close to my family, too, and was pleased that almost all of my cousins were at our wedding. One of my cousins missed my wedding reception becuase she had Elton John tickets. When she apologized for not being able to be there, I was like "Heck, I'D miss my reception for Elton!". Your husbands family, and the bride, should understand that you have a life and plans that can't be trashed at a moment's notice.
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Old 06-21-2009, 02:27 PM   #37
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I can't conceive of anyone's wedding I would choose over my vacation...not even my own!
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Old 06-21-2009, 02:45 PM   #38
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I wouldnt go. I hate to miss family events also, but you already have your trip booked. It would be a different story if you didnt already have it booked but why cut your vacation short. Dont feel guilty about it. I would send a gift or a card and definitly call them to let them know why you cant make it. Good Luck!
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Old 06-21-2009, 03:12 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by momof1princess View Post
since the wedding is sort of "spur of the moment", the bride and groom should expect that there will be some people who cannot attend. unless i was particularly close to them, i would send a nice gift with my regrets and go on my vacation. JMHO.
Totally agree. My brother called me at work the day before he got married ( to someone he knew for 2 months) and while I'm not sure he was "fine" with it, he understood enough. Personally, I wouldn't and wouldn't except anyone else to change plans they've had for months for something I "suddenly" decided I was going to do.
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Old 06-21-2009, 05:16 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by momof1princess View Post
since the wedding is sort of "spur of the moment", the bride and groom should expect that there will be some people who cannot attend. unless i was particularly close to them, i would send a nice gift with my regrets and go on my vacation. JMHO.
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Old 06-22-2009, 04:31 PM   #41
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I would send my regrets. Something like this happened to us a few years ago. My first cousin was getting married at the end of May, DH and I were planning a 10 day trip around the same time. So we decided to wait and see when my cousin's wedding was before we booked anything. It turned out the cousin's fiance had so many people to invite that the guest list was cut off at first cousins. So we planned our trip. To shorten the story we ended up getting an invite a month before because they had rejections of the first wave of invites and needed to fill in numbers. We still went to Disney!
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Old 06-22-2009, 04:39 PM   #42
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I would skip the wedding. The bride and groom need to realize that with a last minute wedding many guests may have other plans. DH and I got married pretty quickly. His sister and niece ended up not being able to attend as the date we picked was in the middle of their long planned trip to France (they were gone for a month). We both understood and neither one of us would have expected her to cancel her trip to come to our wedding, especially given the short notice.
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