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Old 06-17-2009, 04:46 PM   #1
SandrA9810
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Am I being really mean or just sorta mean or do I have a legitament reason? (long)

So last month I planned a 3 day trip to Disney for my mom and brother. His health has been detteriorating since the end of last year and no one truly knows how long he'll live because he's probably one of the few oldest people with his condition and severity of syndrome G.

I booked a room for us at POP, adding the dinning plan to be able to go to character dinners with him. It was great too, they only had one handicap room with a roll in, which had a king size bed. So they gave us the adjoining room for free for the extra bed (4 adults). Got to eat at chef mickey's and crystal palace, and took my brother on his favorite ride the indy speedway.

While changing his diaper we noticed a very bad open sore on his bottom, and a few other things that didn't seem to be quit right. So I talked with Kari, and then to my mom about taking him to the ER to make sure everything was fine. We decided to do it here in celebration, before I took them back to south florida. (yes I made two round trips to Miami and back in less than a week.) When we left the hospital and got to my place to pick up the dog, it was nearly 5pm. And I did not want to do an 8hr trip that late at night, and Kari would need to be picked up at 10pm from work. So I called a CC company to see how much I had available and booked us a room at pop again for one night. We live on the second floor, my mom has a bad hip, and it would be a nightmare to try to get him up the stairs. I don't really trust the little rinky dinks along 192 to be clean enough for his needs and new that disney's standards of clean would be good enough.

It was our idea to bring my brother here, but I discussed it with my mom and she agreed she'd pay for it fully. She let me have the money for the room reservation, but my sister took the last of her social security check just before the trip. Her checks were deposited into her account at my bank. And at the beginning of every month I would transfer enough for gas and food to drive my mom (port st lucie) to my brother (Dania) so she could spend a week or so with him.

Well sometime after the trip my mom agreed to open a bank account at my sister's bank, so she could steal it more easily IMO. I put nearly 200$ on our CC for the extra charges... tips, gas, food for drive, and the last hotel night. Put it right at the limit and the interest charges have put it 13$ over the limit (thankfully no fees were applied). I kept calling the automated bank teller on the day the check was supposed to be deposited, and tried for at least 3 more days. I called my mom to ask her what was going on and she very reluctantly told me what she did. I know she doesn't have a checking account and I won't see the money in the mail.

So at the end of the conversation I yelled at her for putting me in more debt (I have multiple debts in collections because of her). And told her I was turning off her phone line. We've paid for the additional line for the past 3+ years, it didn't seem to be a big deal at 15$ a month to know that my mom had a secure phone line to be reached at. But I just can't stand it anymore. And now my sister can be responsible for making sure she pays her cell phone bill on time (laugh and a half right there...).

I cut the line that night out of anger and spite. Now I feel kind of bad for doing it. But I just now I'm never going to see the 200$ or any money towards that cell phone. My family is real good at taking taking and taking for thier own good, but never giving, especially when some one could really use the help. (ex: I brought my sister here with her 6 kids, so free tickets in, free magic family tour, and free babysitting. And never once a thank you for it all).
Do I really have a right to be mad at her? Am I allowed to be this mad at her? I feel like this is the last straw to be pulled out, and if it's not, I sure can't see the rest in my hands at this time.
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Old 06-17-2009, 04:53 PM   #2
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Considering her history, you need to learn to have cash up front or no trip.

If you do not get that, then expect you are going to be paying for it.

I suspect you are just hoping she will make good on her word and afraid to be direct in the beginning.

Being mad is not useful when you are dealing with users. Get money up front is the way to go.
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Old 06-17-2009, 05:14 PM   #3
SandrA9810
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Well I sorta knew that to begin with. As to why I called DRC got the total cost, put the lady on hold (she had me on hold for an hour while reaching special services), called the bank and transfered the total amount to my account, then told the lady to pay it in full.
I figured the government wasn't going to stop sending her SS checks just a few months after she started getting them. My sister mentioned about opening a new account at her bank. But I told her that my mom's card could be used at Publix, atm's, and other "sister credit unions" that were near her house. I thought she was fine with that. But I guess it wasn't.

I feel bad about doing it, but I really have no desire to call and talk to my sister or my mom. I'd like to have the phone back, but I don't even want to bother going through the hassle of getting it back.
Since it's only under contract till july, kari's thinking of lending it to ICP's that come and charging them 15-20$ to use while they're here, since most go off and get prepaid plans or Metro POS. (As long as I remember to call and block all international calling from that line).
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Old 06-17-2009, 06:50 PM   #4
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DH's family is like this.

When I got pregnant, I told him no more. If they want $$, too bad. If he thinks it's important enough, we'll talk about it. Together.

His brother highly dislikes me now and tells my DH he has no kahunas and he doesn't have to ask my permission, etc.... but at least everyone in their family doesn't owe us money anymore.

Sounds like you did what you needed to do.
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Old 06-17-2009, 07:44 PM   #5
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I would be upset too. You have every right to be mad. I would though make sure they didn't do this to me again. When you calm down, think about what you want and are willing to do and what you aren't willing to do. Calmly let them know and stand your ground.
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:00 PM   #6
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My mom has no personal opinion about anything, she lets people walk over her, and it's never going to change.
It's pointless to ever try to come to an agreement, because she'll say yeah I'll do that but never keeps her word. She wanted to get a job now that she's in a different city. So my g'mother paid god only knows how much money to get her new dentures and various other dental work. Not only has she let her few remaining teeth further decay, she doesn't even take care of the fake ones. Nor has she tried to look for a job or ask for my sister's help in finding one.
It's a never ending battle between what she say (a lot) and what she does (nothing).
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:16 PM   #7
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I grew up with my whole family around me. And for like the last 3 years in my g'mother's house. It was literally ALL of us together.
G'mother, mom, aunt, brother, sister, her hubby, her 2 or 3 kids, and me.
We all had our seperate areas of the house because in the 60's my g'father built a 2 story apartment add on. My mom lived downstairs, sister upstairs, me and my aunt with my g'mother in the main part of the house. (It was a legal add on because it was still one family). Problems still exsisted then, but since we had our own areas we weren't in each other's hair constantly. But still close enough that my g'mother fixed dinner and we had dinner as a family every night. Now we're here, there, and yonder. It's not the same and no one seems to care about the next person. I love my family, but I wish I could be disowned by them.
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:28 PM   #8
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I hear ya.

Families can do that to you can't they. I'm told and I've repeated that you can't control what other's do, but you can control how you react to them. Well, I haven't figured out how myself, so good luck on that one.

My advice is to try to accept them for how they are and no matter how much it bugs or irritates you, she isn't going to change at this point. And she isn't doing it to bug you. I'm sure it really bothers her that you are angry with her right now, even while knowing she deserves it.
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:58 PM   #9
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[QUOTE=SandrA9810;32320407]My mom............ Nor has she tried to look for a job or ask for my sister's help in finding one.
QUOTE]



(I have multiple debts in collections because of her).

My family is real good at taking taking and taking for thier own good, but never giving, especially when some one could really use the help. (ex: I brought my sister here with her 6 kids, so free tickets in, free magic family tour, and free babysitting. And never once a thank you for it all).



Aren't you unemployed yourself?
I don't understand paying for two different family trips-for OTHER PEOPLE-when YOU are in
debt
and don't work?
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:03 PM   #10
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[QUOTE=HighClass;32321328]
Quote:
Originally Posted by SandrA9810 View Post
My mom............ Nor has she tried to look for a job or ask for my sister's help in finding one.
QUOTE]



(I have multiple debts in collections because of her).

My family is real good at taking taking and taking for thier own good, but never giving, especially when some one could really use the help. (ex: I brought my sister here with her 6 kids, so free tickets in, free magic family tour, and free babysitting. And never once a thank you for it all).


Aren't you unemployed yourself?
I don't understand paying for two different family trips-for OTHER PEOPLE-when YOU are in
debt
and don't work?
I was wondering about that as well
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:13 PM   #11
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OP, who is Kari?
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Old 06-18-2009, 07:16 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by disneyjunkie View Post
OP, who is Kari?
Look at the OP's picture. She has posted about her girlfriend , or "SO" a bit on the boards. She works at Disney. I am guessing its her credit card that was maxxed out
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Old 06-18-2009, 07:32 AM   #13
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If your mom doesn't have the money because of your sister, go have a chat with your sister and make her pay you the money. Or did I misunderstand part of the story?
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Old 06-18-2009, 07:32 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighClass View Post
Look at the OP's picture. She has posted about her girlfriend , or "SO" a bit on the boards. She works at Disney. I am guessing its her credit card that was maxxed out
So Kari is her partner? Why not just say DP, DG or SO?
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Old 06-18-2009, 11:31 AM   #15
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OP, I think you should stop spending all your money on WDW and begin to plan for the future. Your expectations have become your disappointments on many occasions. Learn from that and change your behavior. You are setting yourself and your family up to fail. You obviously can not afford these trips. I'm sorry you are in financial trouble but I think you are the major cause of it..
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