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Old 07-29-2009, 08:28 PM   #676
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do not be sorry for *whining* you are grieving, it is OK!!
You will have good days and bad days it is to be expected.
((hugs))
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Old 07-29-2009, 08:39 PM   #677
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Oh bad days are so expected..ups and downs. Soon enough there will be more that are okay than those that are not.

Keep that chin up..you have had a huge life change. It's all new and so different from the journey you have been on. Forgive yourself and allow yourself to have just a sad day...it's okay
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Old 07-29-2009, 10:10 PM   #678
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I don't think anybody thinks that you are whining, nor do you need to apologize for your emotions. We are here for you, good days and bad.
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Old 07-30-2009, 06:43 AM   #679
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I just wanted to stop in and tell you that you are responsible for me telling my hubby each and every day that I love him. I so ache for you and what you must be feeling. Everytime I see this thread, it's a reminder of just how precious life is, and how quickly our lives can change.
You are still in my prayers and thoughts, and I hope your pain starts to ease some, and your days become eaiser.
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Old 07-30-2009, 01:48 PM   #680
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Originally Posted by Angelrose View Post
My dear friends, I have some sad news tonight. My dear husband passed away peacefully last night around 11pm. The dr called Chuck and told him and then Chuck called to tell me. I had hoped there would be time to say goodby one last time, but that was not to be. I can't say enough about the nurses and the drs at Atlantic City trauma center. They have been so thoughtful and caring to Ron and all of us. The nurse even called us today to express her condolences. I thought that was so nice of her.

I had hoped that Ron could be a donor so that he would live on in someone else. But that was not to be. He had been in the hospital too long and there was too much deterioration.

We made the arrangements today and his viewing will be on Saturday and the cremation will be on Monday. We didn't want anything on Fathers Day. Chuck and Karen will have luncheon catered at their house after the viewing.

There was one bright note to today. While going over Ron's baby pictures, we found one of him when he was about 5 years old. His face is EXACTLY like our grandson Jesse. Even Karen commented on it. So my love will live on in our grandson. I know that Ron will be Jesse's personal Guardian Angel.

Thank you all for your prayers and support through all this. Hug your loves again tonight for me.
I just found this thread again now.. I am so sorry to hear of your darling DH's passing.. I know all too well how painful that was for you.. Try to hang on to the good memories - and please take care of yourself in the days, weeks, months, and years (yes - years) ahead.. It's going to be difficult, but your family will help you along with this heartbreaking journey..

I wish there was more that I could say to comfort you, but I know that there really isn't..
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Old 07-30-2009, 07:43 PM   #681
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Thank you AnnaS, kacaju, minnie56, reelmom and C.Ann. I appreciate your support. It's hard to think that I making progress. But I hope I am. DHRick, I'm so glad you tell your hubby how much you love him every day. Ron and I did that and that gives me comfort to know that we had those happy memories every day. I remember the huggies and kisses and the tickles (when he was bad). That keeps me going. Especially when he was bad. LOL He would tease me or say something that he knew would get my goat. Then I would have to chase him and tickle him into submission. I always won. Being that he was 6'2" and I was 5', I would sometimes get the impression that he let me win. He had such a wonderful laugh. And we did laugh often. You all must remember to do that. Laugh with each other every day! Don't waste precious time together being mad at trivial things. Or if you do get mad, just do what I did. Tickle him into submission.
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Old 07-31-2009, 04:15 AM   #682
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Thank "YOU" for the laugh Angelrose. I love how you would tickle each other. So instead of us wanting to hit our spouse over the head, when mad, turn it around and tickle him. I like that.

Now you are making me smile
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Old 07-31-2009, 08:25 AM   #683
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Not a good day today. The weather is so hot and humid, it's unbearable. I had a few crying times today. I can't get past that he SHOULD be here with me and he isn't. I try and get through the day but it's not easy. I keep busy, but something will remind me that he isn't here and I cry again. Even when I'm with the kids or Joan, I have times when I can't keep the tears back. It seems so long since he was alive. So many happy memories that now make me cry.

I'm sorry for whining again. It was just a bad day today.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. Take it one hour at a time -- not one day at a time. Try to keep busy.

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Old 07-31-2009, 08:36 AM   #684
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I am so saddened by the turn of events that caused you to lose your beloved Ron! I moved right in the middle of your ordeal, and I thought he was getting better. My heart is breaking for you.
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Old 08-02-2009, 05:20 PM   #685
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The dream will come when you least expect it. I'm sure he is with you now, you just don't know it. The sadness is so strong that you can't feel him, but he is there. As strong as the love between the two of you has always been and it still is he will always be with you.
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Old 08-02-2009, 06:19 PM   #686
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Tonight I found this thread.

There are no words to say............I am so very very sorry for the loss of your dear husband Ron!
What a wonderful love you had and shared with us all.
What an amazing son and daughter in law you have for support.

You are in my prayers! Take care of yourself and do what feels right to you, whether that be crying or smiling........time will pass and you will get stronger.
God Bless, Angelrose!
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Old 08-02-2009, 07:50 PM   #687
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I've had a couple of good days. Friday I went to my cousins and we went shopping and then we had lunch at Red Robin. We were celebrating her birthday. Then we went back to her house and swam the rest of the afternoon. I left about 5pm because it was getting cloudy. I came home and looked at my flowers that really needed watering but I needed a shower first. I had just gotten out of the shower when Joan called. She wanted to make sure I got home before the storm hit. I looked out the window and OMG it was pouring so hard I couldn't see across the street. I didn't have to water! It was a good day.

Saturday I got my hair cut and dyed. It was getting so long and I like my hair SHORT. After that I met the kids at the mall and Chuck stayed at the mall to get a hair cut and Karen, Jesse and I went to her bank to get some paper work done. Well, they couldn't do it at her bank because I didn't have an account there, so we went to my bank. Oh yes we can do that, but you have to go to the main branch and there isn't anyone there to help you today. sighhhhhhhhhhhh So we will have to go on Tuesday. Jesse was being so good. Except he HAD to close the door to the office. I had given him a new Hot Wheels car shaped like a shark so he was happy. We went home to wait for Chuck (he had my car) and we had lunch. Then I got to play with Jesse. He is learning so many new words. Chuck came home and Jesse was so happy. He is a daddy's boy for sure. Daddy HAS to tuck him in at nap time and bed time. We all chatted for a while after Jesse went to bed and talked about our Disney trip. I went home happy and tired.

Today I went grocery shopping. My cousin Butch sent me a dvd of our family from the 50's to the 70's. Oh my what happy memories. I especially liked one part where I was THIN! It was so good to see all my relatives alive and happy. The last thing on the dvd was Chuck's baptism. There was my dear Ron holding Chuck so tenderly. The blue blanket that he had in his coach, he still has and Jesse uses it. This afternoon we had such a thunderstorm come through. Luckily no damage, and I don't have to water again tonight.

chell, I know in my heart that Ron is with me. But it's so hard to KNOW it in my head. I kiss his picture every day and hold it close to my heart. It still brings me to tears. I guess I am starting to accept things. I went two days without crying a lot.

Just once more to see his smiling face. I know I'm not going to see that until we meet again in heaven. That is such a long time to wait.
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Old 08-02-2009, 08:16 PM   #688
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Glad to hear you have had a good time lately. Was your cousin's birthday actually on Friday? That was my birthday. We went out of town with my sisters and nephews for the weekend. I thought about you a few times and were hoping you were having a good time and were doing well.

Hmmm, I need to think of a way to get your heart and your brain to connect. I know it is difficult to get them to connect. Boy do I know this. Okay, so maybe I am the last person to try to help you with this part. Or maybe I can try to help you and I can find a way to help my own. Do you think that might help? Maybe that could hep me to stop having my nightmares. Did I tell you that I'm having those? I think I told you that I sometimes have a difficult time believing my ex is really dead. So sometimes I think he is still going to come after me. I know that is nothing like your situation but my heart and my head aren't on the same page.

Honestly I really do wish I could help you and heal all of your pain. But I know you have to go through all of this. I know it is the process but I want to zip you through it quickly. I always tell Larry that if I could have one super power like one of the super heroes I would want to have the power to heal people emotionally and physically. You would be at the top of my list!
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Old 08-02-2009, 08:27 PM   #689
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My cousin's birthday was on June 13th just 3 days before Ron passed. But we never celebrate her birthday on her birthday. LOL She is still teaching at that time, so we celebrate our birthdays in the summer. Joan was born when I was 10 years old and lived next door to me, so we are more like sisters than cousins.

I'm so sorry you are still having those nightmares about your ex. That is a psychic pain and will fade in time. Just like I'm sure my pain will fade in time. The head and heart have to get together eventually. Just a suggestion that I have no idea if it will help, but if you could try and forgive him for all the damage he did to you. Maybe that will bring you peace of mind. I know that is easier said than done.
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Old 08-02-2009, 08:44 PM   #690
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Oh, I thought it would be interesting if her birthday was the same as mine. It's so hard to find people who share my birthday!

I've tried to forgive him. I know he was sick. Thank you for helping me. This is about YOU though. We've got to connect your heart and your head so you don't hurt so much.

You are such a sweet and wonderful Lady!
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