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Old 06-24-2009, 10:28 PM   #526
connorsgram
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Angelrose, I feel like I've gotten to know you and Ron through all your posts. Thank you for sharing with us. You are a wonderful writer. You can describe your feelings and thoughts so well. That may something you can share with others. I will continue to pray for you as you grieve for your beloved Ron.
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Old 06-24-2009, 10:44 PM   #527
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I am so very sorry that I am just coming to your thread. I have gone from Oh my goodness no, oh that is great news, to oh no again to great news and then I have come to tears for you and your lose. I have sat here this evening and read all of your posts. I am sorry but I have not read anyone elses. I wish I had some words to say to bring you some type of comfort. You will be in my prayers. God Bless You.
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:58 AM   #528
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Morning Angelrose. I thought of you this morning when I read my Bible. Psalm 61:1-3,
"Hear my cry, O God:
listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint:
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe."

The footnote reads:
God is not limited to any geographic location. Even when we are among unknown people and surroundings, God never abandons us. A "higher" rock would be a plain of refuge and safety. God's all surpassing strength is always with us.

I pray that you feel that strength today.
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Old 06-25-2009, 06:31 PM   #529
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My husband lost his sister in March. There are 5 children in their family, but they were by far the closest. They worked together to take care of their dad who died last November and continued to work together to take care of their mother (who has had quite a few health issues).

DH really fell apart. DSiL had meant so much to us. He couldn't sleep and would break down in tears with any provocation. It was so hard for him.

I encouraged him to talk to a doctor about getting something for his nerves and to help him sleep. While we decided to stop the Ambien, he did continue with the Cymbalta for quite awhile, and it really did make a difference. It let his emotions stabilize somewhat and that helped him improve. It didn't make the situation any better, but it did help him cope.

This might be something for you to consider. If this has already been mentioned, please forgive me for overlooking it.

God bless you in your sorrow...
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Old 06-25-2009, 07:38 PM   #530
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Angelrose, take strength in your family and friends, that is what I did when my DH passed away. I renewed friendships and built new ones. I also leaned on my family as much as I saw fit. As you said, our kids do have their own lives, but you sound like a very wise person and a wonderful Mom and Mom in law. It sounds as if your DS and daughter in law want to help and be there for you.


This will all take time. Just know that you have lots of friends here on the Dis boards, and it seems as if, from reading these posts, we are all thinking of you. I know I think of you often, and hope you will be alright.


Please keep us posted.


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Old 06-25-2009, 08:17 PM   #531
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Angelrose,
There are many of us who usually don't post but have been following your journey. I just wanted to thank you for sharing it with us. Your beautiful love story is an inspiration to us of what we can aspire to have if we are willing to work and nurture our relationships. You can be sure that many of us will be sure to be more appreciative and patient with our DH. Sometimes it takes a gentle reminder to remember how fortunate we are.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:40 PM   #532
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I was going through some papers and I found something that Ron wrote for me. I'd like to share these with you.

SWEET MARY

Smiles when I am sad

Holds my hand when I am scared

Reminds me of what I have forgotten

Helps clear up my mistakes

Helps when others try to take advantage of me

Gives me confidence

Helps me become a better person

Makes our house a cozy home

Has a great sense of humor

AND MOST IMPORTANT, Loves me with all my faults.


And this one.

There is no greater joy for two human souls, than to laugh together and to feel that they are joined for life - to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of last parting. Ron has been blessed with this joy.

Oh my sweetheart. He did so love me.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:45 PM   #533
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How sweet! I'm sure your memories are a great comfort.
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:05 PM   #534
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How lovely..he very obviously loved you a lot as you did him also.

There will come a time when these letters will bring a smile that will linger..the memories bring such joy that the pain will be overshadowed, just a little.

I read what you post every day and my heart continues to aches for you and with you. Your pain is so evident. I hope every day that you heal a little and feel some peace. So many here are thinking of you..
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:14 PM   #535
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Those things he wrote you were so sweet. I'm glad you found them.

The reason you aren't having the dreams may be because things are still too fresh. I've been told that before. After the death of a loved one it usually takes me a month or two to have a dream/visit from them. It will happen.
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:34 PM   #536
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AngelRose~ Ron's words expressing his thoughts about you are beautiful. What a wonderful keepsake.
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Old 06-26-2009, 07:08 AM   #537
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I know you don't feel it right now, but you are so lucky to have had someone like that in your life, and to have shared so many wonderful things with him.
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Old 06-26-2009, 08:38 PM   #538
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I've been getting all his clothes together for Goodwill. It's so hard. There are so many clothes he never got a chance to wear. I'm keeping a couple of his favorite shirts and sweaters.

The kids are coming over tomorrow to help me with a few things and Jesse will be here too. That will bring smiles for sure.

I know how lucky I am to have had such a wonderful man in my life for almost 44 years. But right now all those wonderful memories are very painful. I'm sure in time they will bring a smile to my face again. I look at his pictures and can't help but cry that I will never see his smile again in this life.

Oh my, I'm sorry to keep being so weepy. Tomorrow I'll have smiles with the kids and Jesse.
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Old 06-26-2009, 09:00 PM   #539
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelrose View Post
I've been getting all his clothes together for Goodwill. It's so hard. There are so many clothes he never got a chance to wear. I'm keeping a couple of his favorite shirts and sweaters.

The kids are coming over tomorrow to help me with a few things and Jesse will be here too. That will bring smiles for sure.

I know how lucky I am to have had such a wonderful man in my life for almost 44 years. But right now all those wonderful memories are very painful. I'm sure in time they will bring a smile to my face again. I look at his pictures and can't help but cry that I will never see his smile again in this life.

Oh my, I'm sorry to keep being so weepy. Tomorrow I'll have smiles with the kids and Jesse.

If you aren't ready to get rid of his clothes, don't do it. Don't rush yourself, that will make it more difficult for you. I still have mom's clothes and she has been gone 10 months today and at this point I may never get rid of them. I did give her best friend a couple of her house dresses.

If you are ready, may I suggest you contact a local nursing home, especially a state run facility, they would love to have anything for their patients, some of the residents families don't provide them with anything and with the state of the economy, they are very greatful. My mom did this with my grandmother's things several years ago and they were very appreciative. They even took some of her shoes she had never worn.

My mom's bed is still just exactly as she left it when she got up the morning she collapsed and I am not ready to change it.

Suzanne
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Old 06-26-2009, 10:58 PM   #540
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Have a good day tomorrow Angelrose!
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