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Old 06-23-2009, 08:56 AM   #511
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Prayers for you this morning. I'm sure today will be a hard day but the Lord is with you. Lean on Him for peace, strength and understanding. And please know that we are always here for you.
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Old 06-23-2009, 09:19 PM   #512
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I'm so sorry.
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Old 06-24-2009, 07:27 PM   #513
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Today was Ron's 74th birthday. To say I miss him seems so inadequate. Right now I have things to keep me busy during the day. But what happens when all that stuff is done? How do I go on every day without him? I know I have my son and daughter in law and my little angel Jesse, but they have their own lives to lead too. I guess it will be better in the fall when I can get out and take my walks. But then we used to take those walks together. It's going to be hard to walk without my sweetheart by my side.

I keep hoping to have a dream about him so that I know he is alright. But there are still no dreams. I found some things that he wrote for me. He did love me so much.

On Saturday Chuck will bring over the page Ron wrote that Karen read at the viewing. I will post that.

This thread is my lifeline right now. I can post things that I can't talk about to Chuck or my family. I don't want to make them feel any worse. I know Chuck gets upset when I cry and Karen will start to cry too. I can't have that anymore. They have been through enough and are doing everything else for me. I hate to be so useless. But Ron used to take care of all those things for me. He even had a notebook listing all the things I have to do. But I can't do them. If I start to call about something I start to cry and can't get through it. Then I shake for a half an hour.

Thank you all for being here for me.
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Old 06-24-2009, 07:30 PM   #514
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I know that I don't have the right words to heal your pain, but know that I am here and I am listening.
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Old 06-24-2009, 07:34 PM   #515
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Oh AngelRose Thanks for checking in with us. I know that I for one think about you an awful lot. This is going to take time, probably alot of time, but it will get easier and you will learn how to cope and go on. I am an estate attorney and I know that this is so common, when a client is dealing with the loss of a loved one and especially when that loved one was the survivor's "soulmate" , for want of a better term. Believe me I have a huge supply of tissues in my office! The pain may never go away completely (after all sounds like Ron was 1 in a million!) but it will ease with time. My advise is that you take a few weeks or a month to yourself, of you need to, but then try to get out and socialize with friends. It will help so much to keep busy!
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Old 06-24-2009, 07:37 PM   #516
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I am so sorry for your loss.
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Old 06-24-2009, 07:43 PM   #517
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Angelrose,

We are all here for you. We are listening and so is Ron. Right now you probably feel like a robot going through the motions - one day at a time, slowly.

Please smile for Ron once in a while.
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Old 06-24-2009, 07:54 PM   #518
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Thank you for letting us be here for you. I will pray for some sign for you, something that will help bring some closure. A friend of mine passed away and her daughter told me that she dreamed of music for 30 days until the last dream where her mother told her that she was whole and fine now. I hope for something like that for you.

When my grandparents passed last year, I had just read 90 minutes in heaven. The first few chapters detail the author's 90 minutes where he died (car accident) and what happened before they brought him back to life. The vision that the book paints of heaven and its wonder really helped me.

It was very hard for my grandmother when my grandfather passed. What do you do after 60 years with a person? She began to start seeing her friends more and attending church events for seniors. I think that it helped. Perhaps there is a way that you can volunteer somewhere. A group that you can join. Maybe there is a small project that you could do that would be a sort of tribute to your husband.

It's early. He hasn't been gone that long. Allow yourself to grieve. You have that right.

I will be thinking of you.
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Old 06-24-2009, 08:05 PM   #519
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelrose View Post
Today was Ron's 74th birthday. To say I miss him seems so inadequate. Right now I have things to keep me busy during the day. But what happens when all that stuff is done? How do I go on every day without him? I know I have my son and daughter in law and my little angel Jesse, but they have their own lives to lead too. I guess it will be better in the fall when I can get out and take my walks. But then we used to take those walks together. It's going to be hard to walk without my sweetheart by my side.

I keep hoping to have a dream about him so that I know he is alright. But there are still no dreams. I found some things that he wrote for me. He did love me so much.

On Saturday Chuck will bring over the page Ron wrote that Karen read at the viewing. I will post that.

This thread is my lifeline right now. I can post things that I can't talk about to Chuck or my family. I don't want to make them feel any worse. I know Chuck gets upset when I cry and Karen will start to cry too. I can't have that anymore. They have been through enough and are doing everything else for me. I hate to be so useless. But Ron used to take care of all those things for me. He even had a notebook listing all the things I have to do. But I can't do them. If I start to call about something I start to cry and can't get through it. Then I shake for a half an hour.

Thank you all for being here for me.

All that will help is to do whatever you feel you need to do. I lost my mom in Aug 2008 and I felt exactly how you poseted thta you feel. It has taken a long time to get past it and I still have really bad days. Cry if you need to, laugh, don't hold any emotions back, that certainly won't help.

Some people didn't understand how close my mom and I were and didn't understnad why it has taken so long, but we were much closer than most mothers and daughters were, she was my best friend and we spent most of our waking hours together, except when I was at work. Now that she is gone, DH understands why she went everywhere with us and we did everything together, even living in the same house.

It will get easier, but not for a long time. Give yourself ample time to grieve. I am still waiting for my mom to come to me in a dream and I feel that it won't happen, but I do know that she saved me from a horrible car crash in February. I didn't see her, but I am 100% sure she and God, of course stopped me that day.

Don't rush this process, that won't help anybody, especially you.

I have a dear friend that gave me some very helpful booklets about grieving, I think I still have them, if you would like, I would love to pass them on to you, they were very reassuring. Just PM me and let me know.

Suzanne
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Old 06-24-2009, 08:11 PM   #520
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((HUGS)) This year of firsts is going to be the hardest!! I am so sorry you are going through this.
Please come here any time you need to talk. We will all be here for you.
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Old 06-24-2009, 08:17 PM   #521
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Still here for ya, Angelrose.

You know how to reach me if you need to vent/chat/etc.

Be sure to take care of yourself!!!
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Old 06-24-2009, 08:44 PM   #522
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I'm so sorry for your loss, what a wonderful life you two had! My prayers are with you.
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:00 PM   #523
Sheree Bobbins
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I'm sorry to learn that you lost your beloved husband. Words fail at a time like this but please know that I am thinking about you and praying for you.
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:11 PM   #524
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You and Ron continue to be in my thoughts and prayers daily Angelrose~hang in there and take care of yourself~so many of us are thinking of you
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:21 PM   #525
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Angelrose -- I am so sorry. We are all here for you to vent, cry, laugh, or whatever you need for as long as you need. May God continue to give you strength, comfort and healing. Prayers for your family as well.
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