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Old 07-14-2009, 12:58 AM   #61
312.Duck
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Hello everyone, 312.Duck here; DH of TyRy, son of this wonderful person.
I just wanted to thank everyone for all the great, helpful info, prayers, thoughts, and well-wishes.
My mother really appreciated them.

My mother passed at 2:05am on 7/12/09 gracefully in her sleep; the suffering is over.

This happened so quick, but we were able to tell her we love her and she responded with the same.
She wasn't defeated, never cried, and simply said "We tried. We did everything we could do."

She died of primary malignant heart cancer - extremely rare.
Extremely active, fit, 69yr old supergrandma (lived for her grandkids), she was fine and at our house on May 3.
She found she was getting very tired just doing simple things like laundry, went in for scans and such,
and was diagnosed on May 13th with a cardiac sarcoma growing from the right side of her heart.

As documented here, the tumor quadrupled in size within a month after attempted excision (removed 50% -
it was already huge and had invaded the right ventricle). It was pushing on her lungs, liver, and had shoved
the heart up against her rib cage making each breath a struggle. She was administered one chemo treatment on July 1st,
but her heart (from all the pressure and internal blockage) could no longer support the kidneys and liver enough to continue.

She scrawled a note to my dad Thursday, July 9th asking: "will I ever get better?"
That day they told my dad there could be no more treatments.
.
.
.
She never shed a tear during this - just focused on getting better.
I couldn't contain myself and started sobbing on her shoulder at the hospital Friday, the 10th, when she found out they were finished.
Still, she rubbed my head and told me:
"it's going to be all right." (a mother till the end...)
Very stoic and graceful, she stated "We tried. We did everything would could do."
They brought her home that evening to expire with her family around.

Around 2:05am Sunday morning (the 12th), my brother said she let out a sigh and clutched the air as if grabbing for her parents.

The suffering is over.
This all happened so quick, yet again, we were able to tell her we love her and receive a response. She will be sorely missed.
.
.
.
Thanks again to everyone for all your support during this time.
My head's still spinning; this all happened way too fast to the least deserving, most loving person in our family.
She lived a great life, but had so much more to live for and never had a chance to fight.
I've always been half a "DINK," but it kills me to know if I ever do have any kids they'll never get to love each other.

I love you, Mom. Goodbye.
- Mark Ryan

ps.
I showed her some of the emails and responses here a few weeks ago, and she was really touched by them. We are really lucky to have you all as friends.

pps.
I believe the last diagnosis was poorly differentiated synovial sarcoma of the right ventricle (though it had enveloped the entire heart).




Patricia "Pat" Ryan
3/11/40 - 7/12/09



Her license plate...
"Proud member of the Donald Duck Fan Club
"
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Last edited by 312.Duck; 07-14-2009 at 12:32 PM.
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Old 07-14-2009, 09:28 AM   #62
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I am so sorry to hear of your moms passing. She was blessed to have such a caring family to surround her. Praying that you will know Gods peace and comfort in the days ahead. My deepest sympathy to you. What a beautiful way to honor your moms memory with your trip. May it be a wonderful healing time for you all. Blessings to you all.
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Old 07-15-2009, 01:35 PM   #63
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That was beautiful, Mark. The love between you all is very evident - and touching. I'm sorry your Mom passed away, but I am glad you all got to say the things you wanted and needed to say. She was beautiful, and she must have been a really great lady.

(Sitting here on vacation in the hotel lobby with strangers on their laptops around me, I'm sure wondering why I'm sitting here crying. I can't help but think of my own son here. I imagine your Mom's chuckling at me. )
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Old 07-16-2009, 07:27 AM   #64
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"We tried. We did everything we could do."

Oh Mark, what a beautiful post about your Mom and she was incredible to the end. She said it all... she tried, you all tried, and everyone did the best they could. I hate cancer.. I am so sorry that you lost your beautiful vibrant Mom to this beast..

Please take care of yourselves these next days, they can be so hard sometimes, but she was your Mom right to the end........I love that.. writing this through tears..

God bless you all.
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Old 07-22-2009, 09:06 PM   #65
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I am so sorry for your loss...your mother and DMIL is a beautiful woman full of life. Your love for her is so touching. You all will be in my prayers and thoughts.
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Old 07-25-2009, 12:37 PM   #66
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Dear Mark,

what a fine and fitting tribute to a mum who sounds like a beautiful person in mind and in body (you attach a lovely photo). It sounds like your mum was a mainstay of your family, and I hope you find it possible to celebrate her life and her presence in your lives, alongside your grief.

Linda
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Old 08-02-2009, 08:06 PM   #67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmarypoppins, Pea-n-Me, Mackey Mouse, minniebeth, ERICS MUM
...
Thanks to each of you for your kind words. I miss her dearly.



God
I wish I could go back and hug her more. Only now do I realize what people truly mean when they tell you to cherish every moment with your loved ones, and it's eating me up, bad.
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Old 08-02-2009, 08:39 PM   #68
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That was truely beautiful. Took me a min to see the updated post. Hugs to you and your family.
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Old 08-03-2009, 05:51 AM   #69
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The loss of one's Mom is very difficult as they are usually the cement that binds the family together......There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of my Mom and it has been 22 years for me.. I know that you want that one more hug, that one more smile, that one more laugh, but know this you carry those in your heart and you can bring in your mind whenever you need them. Not quite the same, but they are there, call on them when you need them..

Take care of yourself..
Marsha
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Old 08-09-2009, 07:58 PM   #70
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Thank you SO much, Marsha. I plan on doing that - a lot.

When she was dying ... I just wanted to hold her in my arms as she did with me as a baby.
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Old 08-10-2009, 08:07 AM   #71
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Mark,

I just came over to this thread and wow-I knew that you and your family had been through a lot but wow...

I think it was one of Tracy's posts when she said your mom was having a rough time breathing after one of her treatments...I think that is probably a good analogy for your whole family-this thing happened so quickly to your mom and in turn to all of you-I imagine it was difficult for all of you to breathe-I was in fact holding my breath while reading...

I can't say I know exactly how you are feeling because I haven't lost my mom yet but since she is over 70 I know it is something I will have to face...and I hope I can do it with 1/10 the grace you are...

I am so sorry for your loss. I think you should take comfort from all the love and support that you gave her. And being a mom myself I can tell you this...

she wants you to go on and live-really live a great and happy life-that's why she had you...it is right that you should grieve but she would want you to go on and laugh and be happy and remember her when you are having a great time...I think she would have thought the trip was a great idea...

Warmest wishes for comfort and peace...

Last edited by PracPerfPatricia; 08-10-2009 at 08:09 AM. Reason: picked up quote accidently
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Old 09-06-2009, 04:04 PM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PracPerfPatricia View Post
I can't say I know exactly how you are feeling because I haven't lost my mom yet but since she is over 70 I know it is something I will have to face...and I hope I can do it with 1/10 the grace you are...

I am so sorry for your loss. I think you should take comfort from all the love and support that you gave her. And being a mom myself I can tell you this...

she wants you to go on and live-really live a great and happy life-that's why she had you...
PracPerfPatricia -

Wow, I'm sorry I didn't respond earlier. I've read your post a few times now, could swear I had, but obviously only in my head and not on the keypad.

Thank you SO MUCH for the kind words, particularly as a mom yourself. Knowing my mother, she was content to - and said as much the day before - to let "nature take its course" after we had done every last thing we could do... even down to just rubbing her back and arms as she lay there her last couple hours.

I can't directly relate not being a father myself, but I'd imagine the touch of my child - the extension of my life here on Earth - would be of great comfort and contentment.

Thanks again.
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