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Old 08-09-2014, 03:03 PM   #1
happily single
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Do you ever return a gift to the giver?

Last night my dbf and I broke up after two years. During that time he has given me many gifts, one of which I think needs to be returned to him.

So my question to you is- when is a gift "yours to keep"? He is insisting gifts cannot be returned to the giver but I am not to sure I agree.
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Last edited by happily single; 08-09-2014 at 03:39 PM.
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Old 08-09-2014, 03:36 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by happily single View Post
Last night my dbf and I broke up after two years. During that time he has given me many gifts, one of which I think needs to be returned to him.

So my question to you is- when is a gift "yours to keep"? He is insisting gifts cannot be returned to the giver but I am not to sure I agree.

Because I am sure you,are wondering, the gifts have included an ipad, an expensive bracelet and a car. Yup. I love all of them and didn't ask for nor expect any of them, but I don't know what to do!
JMO, but, if he insists that he won't accept the gifts back, and it were me, I'd let him know that I would be donating the gifts to a worthy cause. I agree, that they are too expensive for me to keep after a breakup.

Although, technically, you don't have to give them back. I would.
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Old 08-09-2014, 03:41 PM   #3
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If he isn't pushing for you to give them back, I would just keep them and enjoy them. He gave them to you......they are yours.

Now if you have something sentimental of his that belongs to his family or is otherwise irreplaceable, I would consider returning that (a family heirloom for example) since it will have far more meaning to him than it would to you.
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Old 08-09-2014, 03:47 PM   #4
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If he isn't pushing for you to give them back, I would just keep them and enjoy them. He gave them to you......they are yours.

Now if you have something sentimental of his that belongs to his family or is otherwise irreplaceable, I would consider returning that (a family heirloom for example) since it will have far more meaning to him than it would to you.
Ditto
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Old 08-09-2014, 03:50 PM   #5
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Sorry about the break up
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Old 08-09-2014, 03:51 PM   #6
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It was only last night, sorry. I do agree though that he said keep them and you should. If you feel like you want all signs of the relationship out of your life then I would donate them like previous poster suggested.

Don't make any rash decisions.

FWIW- When you're ready, I'm not proud and always wanted an Ipad, you can PM me
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:12 PM   #7
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i am sorry about your break-up. I would definitely return something like an engagement ring or something that had sentimental value to him or his family. I would offer to return an expensive gift, but if my ex declined to take it back, I would probably just keep it.

Maybe you should give it a week and see how you feel. Sometimes it is best not to make decisions while you have very strong emotions running through your mind.
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Old 08-09-2014, 06:22 PM   #8
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Thank you for all the responses. After posting I thought (and tried to delete) the post.

I am a mess and do need to not rush things. I just don't know what to do.
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Old 08-09-2014, 07:13 PM   #9
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Thank you for all the responses. After posting I thought (and tried to delete) the post.

I am a mess and do need to not rush things. I just don't know what to do.
One day at a time.

You might pack the things you have in mind away for a month or so and then see how you feel about them.
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Old 08-09-2014, 08:20 PM   #10
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Thank you for all the responses. After posting I thought (and tried to delete) the post.

I am a mess and do need to not rush things. I just don't know what to do.
Okay, you are not thinking clearly, wait a few days and then see. it has only been what less than 24 hours is there a chance you will get back together? I have learned things done in haste never go well! Wait.
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Old 08-09-2014, 08:56 PM   #11
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One day at a time.

You might pack the things you have in mind away for a month or so and then see how you feel about them.

This is a good idea. It's too soon to make a decision as to what to do with the things and packing them away will take them out of sight so that you don't have unneeded reminders of the break up. I'm sorry for this rocky time in your life.
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Old 08-09-2014, 08:57 PM   #12
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I would keep the gift unless it was something that had sentimental value to his family.
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Old 08-10-2014, 06:28 AM   #13
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Unless it is an engagement ring, I don't think it should (have to) be returned. I can certainly understand that you might not want the gift, but if he has expressed not wanting it back, no need to push the issue. You can give it to somebody, donate it, or sell it if you don't want it.
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Old 08-10-2014, 08:21 AM   #14
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Don't make any hasty decisions. As a PP said, pack them away for now and wait awhile. After the dust settles a little if you still think this gift should be returned perhaps you two could discuss it again.
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Old 08-10-2014, 12:35 PM   #15
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My big concern about would be the car. Is it in your name or his? Does he still make a payment on it? (Not questions to answer here, just something to think about).

I'm so sorry this happened. I agree with the others, take time to work through things and then see how you feel.

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