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Old 04-11-2009, 07:36 PM   #1
raysnkaysmom
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PPD ? kinda long, sorry

Ok, so my baby is 1 week old. This first week has been rough between DBF and I. But, it started out with our first full day home, he was attempting to quit smoking. Bad mood!
Had to take baby to doctor, and ended up going there alone with 4 kids as well as to the hospital for lab work. I was ticked.
Then, it's just one little thing after the other that he does that aggrivates me. Maybe it's my hormones, I'm not denying that, but I feel he's not even trying. I'm exhausted, and having major cramping and backaches, yet he's working on the computer 24/7, jumping in occassionally to help out with DS who is almost 14 months. He claims to be 'scared' of the baby cuz she's so tiny. I can kinda buy that, no biggie. But I want more help, and an occassional "I'm here for ya babe" would be nice, a little emotional support....
So, today, he says "I think you're suffering from postpartem depression.".. I say, "Um, if you think that, why don't you try to help me more?" His answer? See, you b***h about everything...

I thought about going as a new poster with this...but eh, doesn't matter, I just want input. When I looked up signs for PPD, this is what I got :

How do I know if I have depression?

When you are pregnant or after you have a baby, you may be depressed and not know it. Some normal changes during and after pregnancy can cause symptoms similar to those of depression. But if you have any of the following symptoms of depression for more than 2 weeks, call your doctor:

* Feeling restless or moody
* Feeling sad, hopeless, and overwhelmed
* Crying a lot
* Having no energy or motivation
* Eating too little or too much
* Sleeping too little or too much
* Having trouble focusing or making decisions
* Having memory problems
* Feeling worthless and guilty
* Losing interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
* Withdrawing from friends and family
* Having headaches, aches and pains, or stomach problems that don’t go away


I am moody, and I've cried a couple times... but nothin crazy.
I'm not sleeping enough, but that's baby reasons, not mine....lol
having backaches...

Thats it...none of the others.
And, I have no ill feelings towards any of the kids... just him!! UGH... lol

Honestly, I'm to the point of not even wanting to talk to him because I get so frustrated. He has to go to TN for a couple days on Mon/Tues... if it wasn't for ruining the kids Easter tomorrow, I'd tell him to stay for awhile....

Any advice? Or just a 'hi' cuz you allowed me to vent
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Old 04-11-2009, 07:48 PM   #2
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Congrats on your new bundle of joy. No advice regarding PPD, but I have a suggestion for dealing with some of the frustration of not feeling like you're getting enough assistance. Sit down together at the table with a pen and paper and get him to define what he is willing to commit to on his end to help out with, and then have it there in writing for him to refer to as needed. It saves you both the aggravation of constant reminders about every little thing.
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Old 04-11-2009, 07:51 PM   #3
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Hi! Hang in there cause it WILL get better
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Old 04-11-2009, 08:06 PM   #4
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I don't think you are suffering from depression, I just think it is typical to be overwhelmed with a new baby and no support. Is there anyone else that can help you out like your mom, friend, sister? I think making a list is a good idea. If he doesn't want to deal with the baby that is fine but then he can help with the other kids.

Hang in there
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Old 04-11-2009, 08:24 PM   #5
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The baby is only a week old. It is too soon to get a PPD diagnosis. All women go through "baby blues" after pregnancy.

I had sever PPD after my first child and it took weeks (like several months)f or symptoms to show up. I won't go into details here but it was UGLY and far beyond being moody and crying.

Is this his first child? He needs to step it up! Is there anyone else you can call to help so you can get some rest?
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Old 04-11-2009, 08:32 PM   #6
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Congrats again! I would think right now your body is still adjusting to not being pregnant and would chalk it up to hormones. I still Bit** about everything I have no problem admitting that.
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Old 04-11-2009, 08:39 PM   #7
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I think your just feeling really overwhelmed right now & your exhausted.
The first week is rough & the day your milk comes in is usually a cry fest, that is totally normal!
You need to talk to your bf & tell him help you with the kids. Tell him to stop playing psychiatrist & start playing Daddy!!

Go lay down & get some rest...it will get better soon!
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Old 04-11-2009, 08:44 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RadioNate View Post
The baby is only a week old. It is too soon to get a PPD diagnosis. All women go through "baby blues" after pregnancy.

I had sever PPD after my first child and it took weeks (like several months)f or symptoms to show up. I won't go into details here but it was UGLY and far beyond being moody and crying.

Is this his first child? He needs to step it up! Is there anyone else you can call to help so you can get some rest?
Our son is just 13 months old... overall, he is really good with him... Of course, no one can do things the way you *think* they should, but it's just all the kids together that I feel alone with....
I don't remember being this frustrated with him after our son, or with my ex after our 2 daughters...


Quote:
Originally Posted by HelenePA View Post
Congrats again! I would think right now your body is still adjusting to not being pregnant and would chalk it up to hormones. I still Bit** about everything I have no problem admitting that.
LOL...I know I do, but he should stop doing things to aggrivate me

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3jsmommy View Post
I think your just feeling really overwhelmed right now & your exhausted.
The first week is rough & the day your milk comes in is usually a cry fest, that is totally normal!
You need to talk to your bf & tell him help you with the kids. Tell him to stop playing psychiatrist & start playing Daddy!!

Go lay down & get some rest...it will get better soon!
OMG..if I could rest... I'd sleep for days
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Old 04-11-2009, 08:45 PM   #9
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way to soon to know if you have PPD-its normal at this point to be stressed and overwhelmed-it can take months for true PPD to show up-mine didnt really manifest its self for about 6 months-and then lasted 3 years. He needs to get off his backside-off the computer and help-if hes scard of the baby fine-he can deal with the other three-but the issue right now is just that you are overwhiemed and he is lazy.
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Old 04-11-2009, 08:49 PM   #10
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I think your hormones are running wild and he anit stepping up to the plate
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Old 04-11-2009, 09:27 PM   #11
raysnkaysmom
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thanks all
I do feel its just the adjustment of the baby and lack of sleep. And the fact the other 'baby' is only 13 months is a bit rough. Wouldn't change a thing, just makes for a tired mommy
I'm hoping when he comes back from TN his attitude (and, ok, mine) will be better
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:05 PM   #12
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Why would you ask about this on the Dis? I just don't understand airing personal laundry like this to get pages of people giving emoticons in an effort to make yourself feel better. For the sake of the baby, seek a doctor, not the DIS.

And I think everyone--yourself, the kids, DBF--is probably just overwhelmed right now. Who wouldn't be with a 13 month old and a 1 week old in the same house? Wasn't it a complicated pregnancy too? Everyone is probably letting off stress and adjusting to a different life than the one led for the last probably 4-6 months.
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:08 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nie0214 View Post
Why would you ask about this on the Dis? I just don't understand airing personal laundry like this to get pages of people giving emoticons in an effort to make yourself feel better.

For the sake of the baby, seek a doctor, not the DIS.

its totally normal after the birth of a baby to feel like she is.. it doesn't sound like PPD. Just normal baby blues stuff. Been there done that 4 times now.
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:08 PM   #14
raysnkaysmom
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nie0214 View Post
Why would you ask about this on the Dis? I just don't understand airing personal laundry like this to get pages of people giving emoticons in an effort to make yourself feel better.

For the sake of the baby, seek a doctor, not the DIS.
Because I have 'friends' on the DIS and you can get good advice from people who have nothing to gain by giving you first hand experience and gathered information....
And, forgive me if make me feel better
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Old 04-11-2009, 10:10 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nie0214 View Post
Why would you ask about this on the Dis? I just don't understand airing personal laundry like this to get pages of people giving emoticons in an effort to make yourself feel better. For the sake of the baby, seek a doctor, not the DIS.

And I think everyone--yourself, the kids, DBF--is probably just overwhelmed right now. Who wouldn't be with a 13 month old and a 1 week old in the same house?
Of course Ray and everyone in her family is overwhelmed, that's why Ray vented to us. From what she wrote, she has a few mild symptoms of PPD but it doesn't sound like something really bad, just very typical of what new moms face. If the symptoms get worse, then, yes, Ray should seek professional help, but right now she's seeking out support from her support network. To me, it sounds healthy.

Hang in there Ray!
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