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Old 04-07-2009, 09:51 PM   #1
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Do other parents of tall, young children feel this way?

My DD is 4 years old and pushing 4 feet tall. Her height/weight stats were the 50% for the average 6 year old in Nov. Now, she's even taller.

Everywhere we go, people think she is much older than she is, therefore expecting her to act like a 6 or 7 year old. Today, for example, when she pulled a toy that she was playing with away from younger child, the mother was VERY rude to my daughter.

I'm probably overly sensitive because my DD is also mildly delayed in speech, fine motor, and social/emotional categories. And she had recurring fevers up to 105F from ages 1-3 due to a rare disorder. Needless to say, we've been through a lot together.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm just tired of people making assumptions about my DD. It's to the point that I tell people we meet her b-day so they know she's the same age as their kids, or younger.
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Old 04-07-2009, 09:56 PM   #2
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My DD is 9.5 now. She is 5 feet tall and has breasts and hips. She looks 12 easily. She's always been tall for her age. When she was somewhat younger, I would ask another child's age immediately and in a friendly way so I could say how old she was. "Oh, your little one is so cute! How old is she? Really? My DD was 4 in October too." It always worked well, although I usually got "Oh, she looks much older!" I'd always tease that I didn't know who her mother was since I am very short (5'0) myself.
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Old 04-07-2009, 09:59 PM   #3
stacy2197
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My son is 6'2" and just turned 12. He has always been very tall for his age. People have always treated him older. When he was 8 we even had a worker at disney tell us we should cary his birth certificate to prove his age at the entrance or the park. Who thinks of doing that on vacation.
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Old 04-07-2009, 10:02 PM   #4
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Don't ever feel bad for having to justify telling parents your childs birthday or explaining that they are tall for their age. I always appreciate when other moms are willing to share info with me. It sounds like you and your child have been through a ton together....only you know her and what she has been through. I believe when anyone has a child who is a bit different than the norm...that experience is so hard on the parents. Don't ever worry about venting...that's one of the ways to stay sane!! Just hang in there....
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Old 04-07-2009, 10:03 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by stacy2197 View Post
My son is 6'2" and just turned 12. He has always been very tall for his age. People have always treated him older. When he was 8 we even had a worker at disney tell us we should cary his birth certificate to prove his age at the entrance or the park. Who thinks of doing that on vacation.
I forgot to add also whe he was about 8 some mean lady askes him if he was a little old for trick or treating.
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Old 04-07-2009, 10:05 PM   #6
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I have the same problem. My 10 year old is 5'6" and weighs 170. People often think he is a lot older and have very high expectations of him. Just because he looks 15 doesn't mean he still has the mentality and feelings of a young kid! You can imagine the looks I got last November when he was 9 and I had to purchase his annual pass.
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Old 04-07-2009, 10:09 PM   #7
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I have the same problem. My son has Asperger's and is delayed socially and emotionally. He acts younger than his age and his height makes people think he's actually older than he is. He is now 13 1/2 and about 5'8" tall. He looks fine (in fact, he's very handsome but I'm biased!) and people are taken aback when he says something inappropriate. When he was younger, he was always off the charts in terms of height and weight and people always seemed him to expect him to act older than he was. His disability compounds the problem. I still hold his hand when we're in parking lots and crossing the street because he isn't always safety conscious. I get some weird looks. I'm sure people wonder why mommy is still holding this teenager's hand. But I'll do whatever I think is best and safest for my son. I've grown quite a strong backbone since having him and it continues to come in handy!
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Old 04-07-2009, 10:17 PM   #8
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Thanks...

I appreciate the support. None of my friends really understand b/c their kids are still wearing my DDs hand-me-downs.

I'll try the strategy about asking other people how old their kid is and slipping in her age with birth month. I know other people usually mean well and are just looking out for their child's best interest.

These experiences will teach me to not judge quickly.

BTW-I had her birth certificate with me at Disney when we went just before she turned 3 for this same reason. And a CM at the gate obviously didn't believe me that she was still 2. He even rolled his eyes, but didn't want to see the birth certificate when I offered to show him.
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Old 04-07-2009, 10:21 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QVCshopper View Post
My DD is 4 years old and pushing 4 feet tall. Her height/weight stats were the 50% for the average 6 year old in Nov. Now, she's even taller.

Everywhere we go, people think she is much older than she is, therefore expecting her to act like a 6 or 7 year old. Today, for example, when she pulled a toy that she was playing with away from younger child, the mother was VERY rude to my daughter.

I'm probably overly sensitive because my DD is also mildly delayed in speech, fine motor, and social/emotional categories. And she had recurring fevers up to 105F from ages 1-3 due to a rare disorder. Needless to say, we've been through a lot together.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm just tired of people making assumptions about my DD. It's to the point that I tell people we meet her b-day so they know she's the same age as their kids, or younger.
YES!!!! My son is 4, but just about 48 in tall...people are usually shocked to find out he is 4..I know what you mean about that! I could have wrote the same thing!
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Old 04-07-2009, 11:04 PM   #10
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When DD was 2 we was being asked WHY she wasn't in school cause she looked like she should be in at least the 1st grade.

When DD was 8 she got handed the adult menu in resturants an her sis 19 got handed the kid menu. NOT once but every time we all went out to eat together.

DD then 24 went to a bar with me without her ID bar maid would not serve her an said she had to leave I've known this bar maid since I was 13 an she was serving me at 13. Anyway a few days later I seen the bar maid while out shopping at my then 13 yr old with me the bar maid thought she was my oldest DD I said NO this one is my baby only 13 bar maid said I would have served this one without an ID.

Yes ppl always treated DD as if she was older but she was always around more adults than kids outside of school too. And found the kids in school to be immature.
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Old 04-07-2009, 11:13 PM   #11
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YES! this is exactly what I feel like, you are so not alone...

My son just turned three. I think he is about 43" tall. He hates shopping and is rather "difficult" at times. I see the looks we get from strangers. While I don't appreciate my son's lack of patience, it IS age appropriate. I make a point of slipping his age into conversations if possible. I can tell by the way they speak to him and ask him questions, that they think he is much older.

His older brother is 10 and kind of small...some of the hand me downs are going directly from one to the other! Weird!
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Old 04-07-2009, 11:28 PM   #12
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Yep - this has happened with my older 2 kids. It's tough being the "big kid."

We hand down clothes to my daughter's friends too. LOL
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Old 04-08-2009, 12:07 AM   #13
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oh yes, i feel your pain, and then some...

you see, we have 3 kids...13yr old dd, 7yr old dd, 2.5yr old ds...

our dd13 is very petite, all her friends tower over her...when we went for open house at her new school when she was starting 7th grade she walked up to the vice principal to introduce herself and before she had a chance to the vice said "oh hi sweetie, are you lost??? are you looking for your parents??? do you have an older sibling at our school?"...dd13 was like "no, i'm new here this year and i am in the 7th grade, i came over to introduce myself"...

on the flip side our dd7 is very tall...she is the tallest in her class and easily looks 9...

dd13 and dd7 are 6yrs apart, but are only 5.5 inches apart in height...

to take things a little further...and this is the worst and what really upsets me...

dd13 has brown eyes, dark brown wavy hair...
dd7 has green eyes, auburn hair with red, red highlights...
ds2 has blue eyes with blond hair...

and YES...they are all from the same daddy...

i cannot tell you how many times rude, insensitive adults have asked my daughters if they have the same daddy, if they are related by blood, if one of them is adopted...it infuriates me...why??? why ask a kid these types of questions??? i mean really...it's bad enough that some adults question me about the father of my children, right in front of the kids, but why would you ask something like that to kids???

okay, sorry to hijack with something off subject ... i just had to vent ...
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Old 04-08-2009, 12:49 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stacy2197 View Post
When he was 8 we even had a worker at disney tell us we should cary his birth certificate to prove his age at the entrance or the park. Who thinks of doing that on vacation.
Well, I guess people with taller kids? DS isn't anywhere near the height that some of the kids being described are, but he's still always been taller than most same-aged kids he's around, and you bet your bippy I took his birth cert to DLR when he was 2.5. No one wanted to see it, but I wanted to have it.

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to take things a little further...and this is the worst and what really upsets me...

dd13 has brown eyes, dark brown wavy hair...
dd7 has green eyes, auburn hair with red, red highlights...
ds2 has blue eyes with blond hair...

and YES...they are all from the same daddy...

i cannot tell you how many times rude, insensitive adults have asked my daughters if they have the same daddy, if they are related by blood, if one of them is adopted...it infuriates me...why??? why ask a kid these types of questions??? i mean really...it's bad enough that some adults question me about the father of my children, right in front of the kids, but why would you ask something like that to kids???
My own FATHER told me that he thought "uh oh" when he saw pix of my son. DS is quarter Korean, and he arrived with Ronald McDonald bright ORANGE hair and blue eyes (normal for caucasians but according to MIL Asian babies aren't born with blue). When DS was tiny, I needed to try on some clothes so we all went to the store. I was in the dressing room while hubby held baby, coats, baby sling, and my purse. A woman looked at him and said "it looks as though you stole that child".

People do not understand genetics. Your family sounds like the Irish family that owned the B&B I stayed in while in Sligo. The eldest son had the black hair, pale white skin, shocking blue eyes (yes I was in luv), the youngest daughter (they were the only two kids back and still at home, respectively) was a red head with freckles and brown eyes...the ones in between were a variety. There's a hodgepodge of things that can come out with those genes! I myself have "calico" hair, LOL.

We just found out yesterday that my Korean MIL had naturally reddish brown hair, but started dying it black as soon as she could, b/c her fellow villagers made fun of her so much. She *never* shared this with us! I don't even think her husband knew. Add that to my Portuguese and Welsh, black-haired FIL having sisters with bright red hair, and my calico hair with my grandfather having auburn hair (none of which we knew, not even my multi-colored hair as I had been making it blonde for years, before Eamon arrived), and *of course* we were going to have a red-head.

Someday DS is going to grow tired of my genetics discussions with strangers at the grocery store, but I am infinitely interested in it, and it's kinda like punishment to nosey people, to give them the entire, full, very long story.

As for his height...we're still trying to figure that one out. He just grew an inch in 2 weeks.
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Old 04-08-2009, 02:28 AM   #15
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Yep. Been there, done that, still doing it I have carired a photocopy of DD12s passport on me since she first got one (around her first birthday) because I do have to "prove" her age from time to time. It used to just be that she is tall. By the time she was 11 she was not only tall but also curvier than I have ever been. She can easily pass for 16-17.

The asking ages first and then bring up your kids' age is a good stratgey. It also helps to remind some teachers, etc. from time to time. DDs karate teacher was very nice about it but would admit that he would forget DD was the youngest in the class and start expecting her to act as the oldest if I did not remind him once in a while.

Trick or treating is the worst. She has gotten many rude comments over the years and been refused candy twice because she was "too old" (both the first year we lived in a new town--so people did not know her. She was almost 9).
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