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Old 11-30-2009, 08:08 PM   #1501
praisehisname
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Cherie, I wish I was there to give you a real hug, but know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
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Old 11-30-2009, 09:45 PM   #1502
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Cherie, I'm so sorry. Sending good thoughts.
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Old 11-30-2009, 10:27 PM   #1503
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A little "please and thank you" goes a long way with me.
i hear ya!!!

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I could tell my week with her was putting my sanity into question because I wanted to smack her upside the head with her Mary Poppins bag.
this just made me laugh for some reason!

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We met up with a lesson from Capt. Jack and Hunter was picked to help!

SO COOL!!!

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After the pitt stop we headed for BTMR. MIL and I ended up in the same car, when the bar came down it was about 1/2 an inch from her.
She then loudly announced she should have ridden with Hunter so there wouldn't be a huge gap between the bar and her lap.

As we were exiting she told everyone that she had been scared the entire ride because she kept almost flying out of the seat because the bar wouldn't go down all the way because of me. And she didn't just say it once, she repeated as loud as she could without actually shouting.
oh, no, she didn't!!!! if only she knew how all of us are laughing at her magical bag of crap....maybe she'd be a little nicer!

she kinda reminds me of my stepdad's mom. she's CRAZY. she called me out of the blue (i usually only talk to her once a year at christmas) a couple years ago. i think this was like in february. anyway, i hadn't seen her at the holidays that year and she told me she got my christmas card (which had a picture of me, ray and the doggies on it). she then says, "when i first got it, i didn't recognize you and i thought maybe ray and you split up and he got remarried." (which in and of itself is just loony because why in the world would ray and his imaginary new wife send a christmas card to his ex-step-grandmother-in-law????? ) so i'm thinking she's saying this because i had lost like 25 pounds that year by the time we took our christmas pictures and that's why she didn't recognize me. THEN she says, "have you gained weight? you just looked heavier in that picture." seriously???? did you seriously just say that to me?????? i mean, even if i had gained weight, do you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth???? and the kicker is i had lost like 25 pounds!!!! oh, i was soooo mad. anyway, the point is i think sometimes people just have a case of word vomit.

i read the post about your dad. i really don't have any advice....just wish i could give you a real hug. we had an issue with prescription drug abuse in my family about a year-and-a-half ago and the hardest thing to do is to let go and not enable those that you love. you may feel like you're helping them but really it's just prolonging their problem. i will keep you guys in my prayers.
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Old 11-30-2009, 10:46 PM   #1504
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We too are so very NOT into traipsing through the dark when a bucket will do just great
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Ah, Cherie,

That really stinks! REAlly, REALLY stinks. Such a hard place to be- wanting to show you care, yet needing not to prolong the problem. Seems we are both going through some really tough issues right now! Glad we can come here and share...
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Old 11-30-2009, 10:52 PM   #1505
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Parent and In laws just sometimes stink.....I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this issue with your dad. But you're right...right now he is just worried about him....loosing a daughter probably doesn't show up on his radar screen except in who is going to drive him where he needs to go. It will affect him but it will take awhile....you don't need his abuse of words. It's hard to stand up and say no when a lot of times it's just easier to do what they want and keep the "peace". I finally learned that while I love my dad...I really don't like him very much...or I should say I don't like his behaviors. I learned that I can still love him but distance myself from his behaviors and it's much healthier for me. I'm so glad you have your wonderful husband and kids around you....take your love that your dad is blind to right now and heap it on them.

I'm also glad you have an upcoming trip to look forward to and some fun and pain free foot disney time ahead! I'm excited to read about that trip when it's done!
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Old 11-30-2009, 11:05 PM   #1506
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Cherie I'm so sorry!! One big thing with alcoholics is that you have to realize that it is not YOUR problem. No matter how much it hurts. No matter how much you think he didn't hear you, I promise you he did. I went through the same thing with my dad for a good portion of my life...minus the pills. Once I finally put my foot down, it hurt really bad but eventually he came around. When HE finally decided to get help things started to turn around. It was rocky but it did get better.

He might get worse before he gets better, but you can't save him no matter how hard you try. It is not your addiction, it is his. Sorry you are going through this. I know first hand how bad it sucks!!
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Old 11-30-2009, 11:09 PM   #1507
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One year we heard on MTV "You know you're getting old when your purse is bigger than your head." My mom's MBOC can hold 4 bowling balls, a year's worth of kleenex, several parkas, 3 quilts, and a person who can't afford airfare. All kidding aside, her bag held about 30 to 40 pounds of C and NONE of it useful. Is it any wonder why my kids didn't want to carry it?



That just about fits the bill for my mom. The only thing she doesn't store in her MBOC is her keys and her phone, of which she never can keep track of.
That is a serious MBOC!!
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Old 11-30-2009, 11:12 PM   #1508
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Thanks for sharing some of your deepest pains and sorrows

I think everyone has said everything there is to say.

The Lord is your covering and your comfort!
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Old 11-30-2009, 11:31 PM   #1509
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Cherie I am sorry you are going through this mess. I know how you feel. My mom was addicted to Zanax for a while. Sometimes I wondered how she even got to my house she could barely talk. I took her to rehab three times. I cried and screamed at her the whole way the third time. I was so mad at her. I felt like I was a good daughter and never caused her problems and she was causing me problems. I had a very painful surgery and was in the hospital for a week. I took six weeks to recover enough to be able to walk with out fainting. She never came see me. My mom is the sweetest woman I have ever met but she is nervous. The nerve pill got addicting and she put it before all in her life. Thank God she is free from them today. It is only by God's grace. Don't give up praying for your dad but you are not a door mat. You are handeling this the right way. Tough love is tough. The only way to help your dad is on your knees praying for him and let God deal with him. I will keep you in my prayers.
Love Laura
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Old 12-01-2009, 09:52 AM   #1510
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It is impossible to help someone that doesn't want to be helped. Winkers, I really admire your strength... sending good vibes to you
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Old 12-01-2009, 10:22 AM   #1511
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I can't express how much all of your thoughts and prayers mean to me! It felt good to finaly talk about what has been going on. I have only shared this with one of my friends because it's so much easier to not talk about it.

I'm not good at leaning on others. In my family, I've always been the strong one that everyone else leans on. Scary isn't it? Me the normal one?

I feel about 50 pounds lighter today after getting it all out. If only losing weight were so easy.
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Old 12-01-2009, 10:31 AM   #1512
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I'm not good at leaning on others. In my family, I've always been the strong one that everyone else leans on. Scary isn't it? Me the normal one?
i can TOTALLY relate. EVERYONE in my family always calls me for advice. for just once i'd love to be the screwup! but you can't allow it to all fall on your shoulders. it's just going to start affecting you mentally and eventually physically too. when my dad had open heart surgery in 2006 it all fell on me to take care of everything, including that horrible conversation i had to have with him about what i needed to do if something went wrong during the surgery. i drove from atlanta to indiana (where he lived at the time) twice in one week and dealt with the stress of the surgery, of updating everyone on everything, of taking care of him, of making sure he had aftercare covered, of being there for my brother and sister and dealing with insurance issues all on my own and when it was all said and done and i got home, i had gotten the worst flu along with a nasty case of bronchitis AND pink eye (which is the nastiest crap i've ever seen...ugh!) to boot. my body just said, "no more," and shut down on me. i realized then that i can't do everything myself, that i should have put some of that on my brother and sister. but i've always just been the one everyone leans on and i didn't know any different. now i know. be good to yourself, cherie!!!!

i'm glad you feel better now.
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Old 12-01-2009, 12:20 PM   #1514
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We too are so very NOT into traipsing through the dark when a bucket will do just great
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I feel about 50 pounds lighter today after getting it all out. If only losing weight were so easy.

Yes! That would be some kind of really cool magical bag of crap. One that we could throw all our extra weight into, and check into a locker under the Main street Train Station.

Glad you "feel lighter"! Feel free to dump here anytime!!
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Old 12-01-2009, 12:53 PM   #1515
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Yes! That would be some kind of really cool magical bag of crap. One that we could throw all our extra weight into, and check into a locker under the Main street Train Station.

Glad you "feel lighter"! Feel free to dump here anytime!!
I totally agree!

Glad you are feeling a bit better! We are here if/when you need.
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