My son's need for healing severe burns

[Dizneydawn]

Originally Posted by twinklebug

I can't even begin to imagine the medical costs involved when a crisis occurs - I hope you can get it all straightened out before the bills start coming at you. (I'm still baffled over PPO copays grrr. I'll say this, the good ole HMO make bills easier.)

A story about kids and when others are injured:
My eldest son (a 6' tall, 15 y/o at the time) was playing tag around the house with a buddy when he accidentally slammed a door on my 3 y/o's face. The doorknob cracked his little brother's eyebrow right down the center. Both boys felt bad it had happened, but what surprised me is they tried so hard to convince themselves that despite washcloths full of blood that it was OK to have 3 eyebrows. They REALLY didn't want the little guy to go get stitches. I don't think the boys meant harm or were covering their butts as much as they were hoping that the injury would magically heal itself. It takes an adult to understand the implications of injury and the essence of medical response timing.

There's nothing you can do to change the past, just make the best of the future & hopefully everyone will have learned (and heal!) from it

Thank you for sharing your story with me...In my head I know they were just scared...but Baylor is burned worse than what even should have happened because the water they had him in had gas from his skin...which soaking in only comlicated the burn more...so in my heart it's a different story ya know...that frusteration will subside as time goes by...hope your son's eyebrow healed great!

Originally Posted by kimis

Have your family and friends hold a huge car wash. Call every news station in your area and every radio station. We did this for a man who needed a kidney transplant and it was very succesful. Also hold a friends/family garage sale. Also get a hold of the Shriners. Don't they help with kids that are burned? These are just a few ideas but I hope they help.

Great ideas...car wash in iwnter may have to wait in MN...20 degrees today! Shriner's is a great option and we are having a botique/garage sale next weekend...

Originally Posted by TheDisneyGirl02

They waited an hour to call for help to cover their butts?! That is horrible! I can only imagine how much it hurts you to know that. Have you thought about going to talk to somebody? Hugs to you and your family.

Thanks for all that and yes I am talking with our pastor....



Great news...he is home...came home Wed. night late and I am sorry for not being on sooner but he is a full time job lright now...

I am just thrilled to make food for him and watch movies with him in our home and spend time watching him just even hang out with his friends and siblings...

Thank you to all the well wishers...he got a package from Askelton yesterday with a few pins and pens from Disney...he was thrilled...

I can't wait till the mail starts coming!

[quasar4legs]

So pleased your 'baby' is home.
I am sure Baylor must be feeling better getting back to familiar surroundings with his family. Try to find some time for yourself to have a nap, or sit with a cup of tea for a few quiet moments. It's important for mum's to take care of themselves so that they can be strong enough to take care of everyone else.

Hugs to you all

Trish

[A Mickeyfan]

I am just reading this now. Thank God he is home and doing better... What a nightmare you have been living.. and he as well...

[Mommaof3]

I continue to read the updates here and I can not imagine what your child has been through and what you are going through. My heart aches. I know nothing I say can take away what has happened, but please know that your son is in my prayers. You are in my prayers.

When my twins were born prematurely. we spent many weeks in the hospital with sick babies. One night the dr. called us to come to the hospital to hold one of the boys. The dr. didn't think he would survive the night. We went, and by God's grace. our child made it. It was a very long, hard night followed by months of extra care. My heart knows about my child suffering. but not through such an accident. I just can't grasp what you must feel.

I sent a package and card on Friday. They should arrive soon. Hope a little love from Texas brightens your son's spirits.
Melissa

[chicagodisneyfan]

Originally Posted by Dizneydawn

The other huge agenda I have is finding businesses/people willing to help with a fundraiser for him...the liability portion of the homeowner's insurance will not be decided for at least 18-24 months out and there will be so much in costs before then that will be incurred it is not even funny. It is very frusterating that Baylor misses 18 months of beinga kid, I miss 5 weeks minimum of work that due to my biz will be felt for at t least 3 months...

Hugs to Baylor.

But am I to understand - you are intending to sue your friend for an act your son willingly participated in? I do not think that is right.

Paying for the medical bills is one thing, but to sue for damages

[3DisneyKids]

Originally Posted by Dizneydawn

Busy day today also finalizing many trip plans...cutting costs where we can and making sure of parade times and our ressies...will update that....

The other huge agenda I have is finding businesses/people willing to help with a fundraiser for him...

Dawn--you KNOW I am praying for Baylor and your whole family.

But please, think about the ramifications of the above. You cannot simultaneously have a fund raiser to pay for medical costs and go to Disney. People in the community will freak out. I mean...their argument will be that if you can afford a Disney trip then you shouldn't need to raise money for medical costs. Or their argument might be that if he is well enough to go to Disney then he was not that badly hurt.

Now, yes I know your situation and all that has been going on for the past year, but the rest of the world doesn't. And this is just not going to play well. This is how families end up in the news...and not in a good way.

[twinklebug]

Hi D thinking of you (and kicking myself for not getting Baylor's mail off - I'm WFH today, maybe I can sneak away form the laptop at lunch) ... How's Baylor doing? Has he been able to get out yet? I have only experienced one *tiny* 3rd degree burn in my life (right down to the bone, kid: making a gingerbread house w/boiling sugar - I was so dumb) and it felt as though it was on fire for 1/2 year. More hugs to him... and you!

Has this affected your other children? It's a very scary situation for all. Fire was always my worst nightmare a child (even though I LOVE campfires).

A little nosy - but what are your plans for thanksgiving?

Originally Posted by Dizneydawn

Thank you for sharing your story with me...In my head I know they were just scared...but Baylor is burned worse than what even should have happened because the water they had him in had gas from his skin...which soaking in only complicated the burn more...so in my heart it's a different story ya know...that frustration will subside as time goes by...hope your son's eyebrow healed great!

Ah the third eyebrow is no more It was funny as the insurance requires us to get the go-ahead from the doctor before heading off to the ER, so I called the office. Over the phone the doc thought he could "glue" his cut shut. When we got there we didn't even get past the reception desk and the doc came over and said "nope - he really does have 3 - he needs the ER" LOL. The docs in the ER were funny too as all they wanted to do was discuss what type of pizza they were ordering after they were done with Alex.

[Dizneydawn]

Originally Posted by quasar4legs

So pleased your 'baby' is home.
I am sure Baylor must be feeling better getting back to familiar surroundings with his family. Try to find some time for yourself to have a nap, or sit with a cup of tea for a few quiet moments. It's important for mum's to take care of themselves so that they can be strong enough to take care of everyone else.

Hugs to you all

Trish

Thank You...

Originally Posted by A Mickeyfan

I am just reading this now. Thank God he is home and doing better... What a nightmare you have been living.. and he as well...

Nightmare yes but getting better...

Originally Posted by Mommaof3

I continue to read the updates here and I can not imagine what your child has been through and what you are going through. My heart aches. I know nothing I say can take away what has happened, but please know that your son is in my prayers. You are in my prayers.

When my twins were born prematurely. we spent many weeks in the hospital with sick babies. One night the dr. called us to come to the hospital to hold one of the boys. The dr. didn't think he would survive the night. We went, and by God's grace. our child made it. It was a very long, hard night followed by months of extra care. My heart knows about my child suffering. but not through such an accident. I just can't grasp what you must feel.

I sent a package and card on Friday. They should arrive soon. Hope a little love from Texas brightens your son's spirits.
Melissa

Thank YOu so much for the support and the package...you have no idea how excited he was and so impressed with the generosity of strangers...

Thank you to everyone who have sent postcards and tokens of their thoughts...

Originally Posted by chicagodisneyfan

Hugs to Baylor.

But am I to understand - you are intending to sue your friend for an act your son willingly participated in? I do not think that is right.

Paying for the medical bills is one thing, but to sue for damages

I am not sure what you understand about insurance or not but here are some facts...
#1 You cannot in the state of MN settle a liability claim against the insurance company when it involves a minor unless it is in front of a judge...so legal representation is mandatory...This is to protect the minor and make sure they are compensated for medical bills and any pain or suffering damages they may deserve.

#2 You cannot get medical reimbursement beyond the $1000 or anything else unless you actually sue the insurance company for the liabilty portion...that is exactly what the term is and that is exactly how it goes...we are not suing them for anything above what the liability portion of the insurance allows and that means not going after them personally.

#3 As far as suing for damages for what my son willingly participated in...that I have a major problem with...

My son did go to the fire pit...he should not have done that...absolutely not...

but he did not bring the gas...he did not pour it on the fire and he is not responsible for that...on top of that he layed in a tub crying for almost an hour while his skin sluffed off his leg...while the home owners son played Nintendo...refused to call 911, give my son a phone and hid his portion of the incident as much as possible...he lied to a fire marshall...a police officer and parents because he knew what he did was wrong in bringing the gas...and I do forgive him for that...he is a kid...but do not think that my son willingly wanted gas bought to the fire...he tried to talk the boy out of it...all 3 boys have since said that...and as a parent...if you leave kids alone in your home...you are responsible for what happens via your insurance...if I wanted to be vindictive I could be by suing them on a personal level...but that is not what I want....

Originally Posted by 3DisneyKids

Dawn--you KNOW I am praying for Baylor and your whole family.

But please, think about the ramifications of the above. You cannot simultaneously have a fund raiser to pay for medical costs and go to Disney. People in the community will freak out. I mean...their argument will be that if you can afford a Disney trip then you shouldn't need to raise money for medical costs. Or their argument might be that if he is well enough to go to Disney then he was not that badly hurt.

Now, yes I know your situation and all that has been going on for the past year, but the rest of the world doesn't. And this is just not going to play well. This is how families end up in the news...and not in a good way.

E - I appreciate what you are saying and I know you are not aware of everything...Not sure if when we talked we addressed this but since you posted it here I thought I should respond since others might be wondering the same...

First of all...any fundraiser money will be going into an account set up for Baylor's medical needs strictly...and will be overseen by his attorney....

Second...the trip is paid for already...our time share through DVC covers the stay....our tickets are free/paid for and our airlines is already paid for 2 months ago as well...It would cost $500 to change them to a different time...

The only thing needed is spending money and that we can deal with as we go...we have a 2 bedroom at OKW so we can cook all our meals if we choose to...

I had originally thought of cancelling the trip..but at the advice of his Doc's and the social workers...they are saying we need to go...Literally had a meeting for over 2 hours on his well being and they all were in aggreement that I was wrong to cancel the trip...they also told me I was wrong in having him go to school for only his core classes...that he needed a slow start back into school because he will be exhausted...and they were right about that as well...he went to art, zoology...and study hall yesterday and he was exhausted...slept 3 hours yesterday after 1/2 day of school... he will look at this as his fault if it is cancelled and also he needs something to look forward to...they are worried about his mental health...he is seeing a counselor...and that is what to me is the most important...

As far as the fundraiser...

Our church and his school teachers etc...wanted to do something for him...they all are aware of the trip...they knew it was planned long before...and they thought it would be a good way for the kids through his confirmation/school to feel like they were doing something..that they had kids coming forward saying that they felt helpless...

The social worker at the hospital was the one who advised me to get whatever help for him that we can now because as time goes by and they see him improving that they may think he does not need any...so acting now is important...that the medical bill portion will be building as we go because it is a 3-4 year recovery...

So I am in aggreement that I need to make sure that no one thinks that the money allocated for Baylor is going to our trip...and our attorney in fact said that the Dis Boards postings will be huge...because I have a diary of the trip...Baylor's inury etc...and can prove that he was hurt long after tickets were bought....etc....if anyone questions anything...

Truthfully, I am not worrying about that...I still believe in the best in people...and will work for my son as hard as I can...and protect him as much as I can as well.

I know that you were worried about the reation of the community and I am glad you are my friend to be looking out for me. I had thought of many of the things you mentioned here and will continue to make sure I am watching out for as much as I can...and I have great friends like you to help with some stuff I may miss...
Update...Baylor is doing better...he is at school half days this week...then back at the doc for his cast to come off on Friday and will post more then...

[Dizneydawn]

Originally Posted by twinklebug

Hi D thinking of you (and kicking myself for not getting Baylor's mail off - I'm WFH today, maybe I can sneak away form the laptop at lunch) ... How's Baylor doing? Has he been able to get out yet? I have only experienced one *tiny* 3rd degree burn in my life (right down to the bone, kid: making a gingerbread house w/boiling sugar - I was so dumb) and it felt as though it was on fire for 1/2 year. More hugs to him... and you!

Has this affected your other children? It's a very scary situation for all. Fire was always my worst nightmare a child (even though I LOVE campfires).
They are doing okay - and yes....he is much more leary about a fire now...even candles...
A little nosy - but what are your plans for thanksgiving?

I think we are going to Omaha for Thanksgiving...and the kids will then go to Iowa for the weekend to be with their Dad's family...

Ah the third eyebrow is no more It was funny as the insurance requires us to get the go-ahead from the doctor before heading off to the ER, so I called the office. Over the phone the doc thought he could "glue" his cut shut. When we got there we didn't even get past the reception desk and the doc came over and said "nope - he really does have 3 - he needs the ER" LOL. The docs in the ER were funny too as all they wanted to do was discuss what type of pizza they were ordering after they were done with Alex.

That crack me up...when I was in the operating room with Carsyn...the phone rang and then the Doc answered "Pizza Hut"...I was a little concerned he was then using a scalpel on my belly...

[3DisneyKids]

Hey Dawn--glad to hear that you thought of these issues. I would just hate to see your name get dragged through the mud unnecessarily, you know? I mean, that is just the WORST. When you do everything you can to be a good person and do the right thing and then get falsely accused of being unethical. Especially in a small community.

On to more important things...glad to hear that Baylor is back at school and starting to resume parts of his life. Even though he is exhausted, I am sure it is good for him to feel like he is productive and interacting with friends, etc. Is he going to school on crutches? Or is he walking independently yet? Does he have to take the bus??? Oh, that would be awful!

Hope you guys are all hanging in there!

[Dizneydawn]

Originally Posted by 3DisneyKids

Hey Dawn--glad to hear that you thought of these issues. I would just hate to see your name get dragged through the mud unnecessarily, you know? I mean, that is just the WORST. When you do everything you can to be a good person and do the right thing and then get falsely accused of being unethical. Especially in a small community.

On to more important things...glad to hear that Baylor is back at school and starting to resume parts of his life. Even though he is exhausted, I am sure it is good for him to feel like he is productive and interacting with friends, etc. Is he going to school on crutches? Or is he walking independently yet? Does he have to take the bus??? Oh, that would be awful!

Hope you guys are all hanging in there!

Hi chickie....
Yup this is me on my laptop from home...Thank You God for home internet again... I feel so dissconnected when I cannot keep up as much as possible...

School on crutches...his cast will come off on Friday and we will know more then...they may put another cast on him or they may decide just to do compression stockings at that point...I am nervous to see the result...

He is glad to be around friends again but also frusterated because all of his friends snowboard/ski and play hockey..just like he did...and we have 3 ski hills within 20 miles of our home and they opened last weekend so he is watching out his window people heading out...knowing he wil not this year at all...no contact sports including gym or sledding...so MN in the winter and nothing to do but stay inside is pure torture...they are also hesitant for him to be out eve building snow forts or anything for long periods of time because his new graft site can get frost bite so easily...

His donor site is startingto loose the protective sheet of cloth that they had put on it to let it heal after surgery...it is probably 18"long and 10" wide...the bottom of it where his blood pooled is literally a 1/4 inch thick scab...and the rest looks as he puts it..."Like Beef Jerky"!So as this material peels off...we need to cut it back so it doesn't catch and rip on anything...and it itches like peeling skin from a sunburn...we lotion the exposed skin daily...and I am hoping it is all off in the next 2 weeks... but that still gives him the most disscomfort...it stretches and pulls and feels like it is ripping he says...

I can upload pics here if you guys want to have a better idea of the injury...but I will warn you all they are pretty graphic and not for the faint of heart...so let me know if this is something you might want to see or if I should skip it...

I just thought that many of you had kids and I think that it would be a great learning tool to really show them what playing with fire and gas can do...Baylor has been asked if he would like to become part of the hospital's burn unit outreach program that goes to schools and talks to kids about fire safety first hand...because h eis 12 they think he could really help with both the elementary schools and the middle schools...

Like he said..."You think that if you catch on fir ethat you can just slap it out...but you can't it isn't that easy...and then you think you can just roll it out...but that doesn't always work either...I wish I would have really known that because I thought if anything bad happened I could take care of it."

Again...kids donot think long term and they think they are invincible...but it has almost been 3 weeks and believe me...he still cries every day about how stupid he was for being down by the fire pit...and that he should have listened to his parents and other adults...and he wishes he would have been louder or walked away when the boy brought the gas down...but you try and be cool at some level as a kid and you don't want as a boy to look like a pansy...and again...the burn nurses said that they rarely see girls his age in there..thatthe chip in women that worries and says...how bad can this go...is already in them at that age...

It's a miracle any of us survive raising boys...but then again...girls have their mood swings...and that is not any fun either!(Ahemmm..can you tell who I argued with this morning!)

[courtnvm]

Originally Posted by Dizneydawn

Hi - great advice - I think he will need some as well...had some bad dreams already and is definetley feeling depressed about all he will miss out on...that is the biggest reason I want this trip to go on as planned...he needs something to look forward to...

I am glad your husband healed well...can I ask how his accident happened?

I was out of town for a girls only trip and my husband was home with our kids that were 1 and 3. The boys wanted chicken nuggets and french fries for dinner, and because I never let him fry them and I was gone, he decided to fry them. It had been snowing that day, so everyone was dressed warm. He put the pot of oil on the stove and turned it on high so it would warm up quickly. He left the kitchen to take off his sweater and the smoke detectors went off. By the time that he got back to the kitchen, the whole stove was on fire. He got it out and was going to throw the oil outside. When he moved the pan, it added oxygen and ignited it again, sending oil and flames up his right arm. One boy was in the back of the house and our oldest watched the flames go up his daddy's arm. My husband opened the front door and threw the pan outside. The firemen tell us that when the front door was opened, it should have caught the entire house on fire instantly.

He has been through 2 skin graft surgeries and has 100% usuage of his hand and arm. That is a total miracle.

We both have been praying for your little guy.

[Dizneydawn]

Originally Posted by courtnvm

I was out of town for a girls only trip and my husband was home with our kids that were 1 and 3. The boys wanted chicken nuggets and french fries for dinner, and because I never let him fry them and I was gone, he decided to fry them. It had been snowing that day, so everyone was dressed warm. He put the pot of oil on the stove and turned it on high so it would warm up quickly. He left the kitchen to take off his sweater and the smoke detectors went off. By the time that he got back to the kitchen, the whole stove was on fire. He got it out and was going to throw the oil outside. When he moved the pan, it added oxygen and ignited it again, sending oil and flames up his right arm. One boy was in the back of the house and our oldest watched the flames go up his daddy's arm. My husband opened the front door and threw the pan outside. The firemen tell us that when the front door was opened, it should have caught the entire house on fire instantly.

He has been through 2 skin graft surgeries and has 100% usuage of his hand and arm. That is a total miracle.

We both have been praying for your little guy.

I got goose bumps reading this...Baylor's Dad was burned in the exact same way when we were dating..oil...nuggets...the whole bit...except when he took the oil outside..to throw it over the deck railing (men must think alike...get fire out of house now...)..my mom's deck broke...and the oil fell on him...he had 3rd degree burns on his left arm...grafting on shoulder and elbow..and left ring finger...taken from left thigh...they put his through a mesh spreader though...so he has the diamond pattern on his skin...with Baylor's they did what they call strip grafting...which is taking sheet for sheet....

Thank you sharing your story with me...and all of us...I hope you are all healing because as I have learned...it is a family burn...not an individual burn...

[Guerrero2915]

Dawn,
I just found this post today, and to read all the way through to see how baylor was doing before I posted. I am so glad he is doing well and starting to some semblence (sp??) of normality. Please PM me with an address to send him a card and also any info on the fundraising (where to send, etc.)Please know my family and I will be praying for Baylor, you and your entire family.
God Bless

[Dizneydawn]

Originally Posted by Guerrero2915

Dawn,
I just found this post today, and to read all the way through to see how baylor was doing before I posted. I am so glad he is doing well and starting to some semblence (sp??) of normality. Please PM me with an address to send him a card and also any info on the fundraising (where to send, etc.)Please know my family and I will be praying for Baylor, you and your entire family.
God Bless

Thanks and I did pm you....

He got bumped into at the end of school today and tore his donor site a little bit...hurt like heck I guess and he just called asking to come home... so I am off...he made it through the day though! I am so proud of him...even if he is there at all...he handles it so much better than I would...