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Old 09-21-2008, 09:40 PM   #1
ChrislovesMinnie
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Worried, scared, praying and trying to cope

Hi and thank you for taking the time to read this. I haven't been on the boards for several months but decided that it's time to get back to "normal" ways.
Now for my story, several months ago, my wife was preparing for hip and knee replacement. Going for prep work, tests and bloodwork, and "banking" her blood for the surgery. All was a go until a few days bfore surgery.
My wife started to have difficulty breathing and to amke a long story short, they discovered some fluid in the lung. They said they could remove it and she should be fine. Went to the hosptial and they removed the fluid. All appeared okay.
Two weeks later, bleeding from the mouth and nose and it was determined dangerously low platelets. A week in the hospital cleared up that problem.
Another month passes and difficulty breathing once more. Can't take more that a few steps and out of breath. Back to hospital for a fluid tap.
Now for the shocker. After the procedure, doctor tells me doesn't look good. Probably cancer and tests will have to be done. I almost died right then and there.
After a week of tests, they discover cancer of the breast (lumps) and spread into lungs. "Stage 4" they tell me. I couldn't believe it. (Wife had mamogram just two months earlier and does self exams. Nothing showed prior.)
Doctors recommended that chemo start with they best doctor they know. He actually treats one of the doctors that is helping my wife.
Now I break it to my wife and my son. Being strong. (Trying to look strong at least. For my wife and son). Told them both that "this is just a speedbump in the road of life" and we can deal with this.
Mediport implanted.
We start chemo treatments. Everything goes good. No nausea or sickness. Doctors happy and continue hittting it with strong chemo weekly.
Several weeks go by. My wifes breathing starts to get better. They take her off oxygen 24 hours a day to nothing. Starts walking better with out shortness of breath.
More time goes by and sent to hospital for mri's, cat scans and other tests.
Chemo continues. At doctors office, they are amazed that she is not sick and handling chemo with no problems. Does breast exam and can't feel tumors. Xrays and tests show dramatic reduction of lumps to almost nothing and no re-occurence of lung fluid. Chemo continues but reducing dosages.
I feel that we are very blessed that even though this is a life threatening disease, maybe, just maybe we are in that small range of numbers that can beat this or if not beat it, knock it out of the ballpark and monitor it and reduce the problem?
I live every minute worrying for my wife and my teenage son who by the way helps me cope through all this with his positive attitude and feelings. Our son Chris is the greatest and helps both of us in this trying time.
What should I do, especialy when the holidays roll by? In the back of my mind, I think will there be more together? What will next year hold? What should we be doing now? My mind races 24 hours a day.
My wife has gotten better the last few months so dramatically that I am scared somewhat. We have gotten over the shock of the disease and coping with the chemo resulting hair loss. She looks fantastic and so cute in the wig.
I love her so much and love my son so much, I just don't know how to deal with this and if I am doing the right things.
Thanks for listening.
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Old 09-22-2008, 05:16 AM   #2
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Wow... I kept saying in my head as I was reading.. oh please, oh please let nothing happen. You know the waiting till the other shoe drops.....but she sounds like she is doing great. That is just so awesome....

OK, so the Holidays, this is what I do.. We try to make it the very best we can.. every Holiday that comes up, we try to make sure we all are there and with smiles on our faces and doing the very best we can to enjoy whatever time we have..

I think your wife is doing great, your son, good for him that he is so supportive not only to Mom but to Dad, and Dad your head is in the right place.. This is one of my favorite expressions, our oncologist said it to us recently: "knock it out of the ballpark." We are praying for this.

They have such great success with breast cancer so I am praying that the chemo "knocks it out of the ballpark" for her and for her family...

Stay positive, you are doing great... Watching someone you love go through this is not easy, but you sound like you are doing ok... Hugs, Hugs, Hugs..
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Old 09-22-2008, 04:06 PM   #3
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Hugs to you and your family! Wow, what a thing to have all at one time. But sounds like she is responding very well. And hopefully it will continue in that very same direction. It's very hard to smile through the holidays when your head is reeling, but it truely does help everyone stay positive. And all I can say is stay in the moment and live life to the fullest as best you can. We started doing this after our cancer scare last year. And believe me there are the days with the tests and such that are horrid....but the good one's make everything all worth it! You'll all be in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 09-23-2008, 05:02 AM   #4
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I will keep you all in my prayers. It sounds like you all have been through a lot. Just remember to take life one day at a time and enjoy it as much as you can.
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Old 09-23-2008, 09:21 AM   #5
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You are doing the right things. hugs. Karen
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Old 09-23-2008, 07:59 PM   #6
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Here is a whole bunch of for you and your family. Keep up the good work of coping and being strong for your wife and son. They are as lucky to have you in their lives as you are to have them in yours. I will say a prayer for you that all goes well.

Karen
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Old 09-24-2008, 08:10 AM   #7
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Chris ,
My 14 year old daughter was diagnosed with bone cancer last year , thankfully after many months of agressive chemo and surgery to save her leg she is in remission and doing well.
I know very well how you feel but I will honestly tell you , worry about the moment , do not stress about the future and what it will bring , focus on cherishing the present. One day at a time my friend , I know it's hard to do when the only thing you can think is when is the next shoe going to drop on you but you know what ? we can't change if that ever happens but we can change how we live our life now.....I chose to enjoy the now.
Take advantage of your son's possitive attitude , it will help you tremendously. It is ok to have bad moments too , mine were usually when I was driving somewhere alone in my car , I don't know how I did not get myself in an accident at times.
Huge hugs and my prayers are with you.
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Old 09-24-2008, 06:31 PM   #8
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I'm sorry to read this, and glad this board was here for you.

In case you don't know about it, we have a long time thread going for Breast Cancer Survivors and those who love them if you're interested in coming by.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread....ferrerid=70088
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Old 09-25-2008, 02:26 PM   #9
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It sounds like you are doing everything right. Like the PP said, sometimes when things are good you tend to wait for the other shoe to drop. I think the best thing to do is to enjoy life and each moment because it is so precious. It is okay to plan for the future. It's okay to celebrate Christmas. When dealing with my dad's illness, I remember thinking about Christmas and wondering if he would live to see it. Buying presents were hard because I kept thinking about what would happen if he died before I could give it to him. It now sounds silly, but that thought just terrified me.
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Old 09-25-2008, 03:12 PM   #10
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You sound like you are doing everything right. It is an emotional rollercoaster that's for sure. Take life a bit at a time, and make as many good new memories as you can. Hugs and thoughts for you all.
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Old 09-27-2008, 04:06 PM   #11
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I was so sad reading your story but do like
the way things are turning around for your wife. She sounds like a very strong person as do you and your son. Just keep on as you are and take one day at a time. Will keep you and your family in my prayers. Shirley
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Old 09-27-2008, 06:55 PM   #12
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When I was dx in 2003 with BC and had chemo until April of 2004, my DH was the ROCK that I needed to get me thur this. So YES you are doing a great job and I'm sure this is something that she will remember when the chemo is all over. As a BIG THANK YOU I took my DH for a long weekend to Key West and inspite of me still being on Chemo during this time, it was a awsome trip.
Keep up the good work and God Bless your family at this time.
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Old 09-29-2008, 07:05 AM   #13
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I am so happy to happy to hear your wife is doing much better. Cancer is so very hard on the family members as well. She is so blessed to have family who love and care for her.

I am a two (2) time breast cancer survivor. The first time I went through it my son was a teenager. In the beginning, I had such a pity party for myself as a lot of people do. I realized I had to be strong, especially for my son. He was so amazing through all of it. I know he was scared as was I, but we held onto each other. I know my faith in God is what brought me through both times. I was and still am truly in awe of the strength that came out of such a young person. My son and I have always been really close, but we managed to become even closer.

I know your wife is going to be fine. I am saying a prayer for you and your family. When you are going through cancer, the support is SO important. She has that from you and your son. It warmed my heart so much when you said your wife looked so cute in her wig. I did not lose my hair, but I was very sick. The doctor kept telling me everyone's body reacts differently. So true. I had other family members who did not lose their hair during their treatments.

These boards are such a great avenue to share your thoughts. I wish they had been around when I was going through my illnesses. Also, don't forget about the importance of the cancer support groups. Believe me, it will help both your wife and your family. I wish I had taken advantage of it more the first time. I talked about it to very few people. It really does help to talk about it.

When you experience life threatening diseases, it has a way of truly making you appreciate life. Just the little things. Enjoy everyday. Enjoy each other. I know it's a cliche, but make the most of everyday. I used to be one of those people who put off things in life. Now, I truly embrace life.

It's okay to be worried, and to be scared. I think you are doing a wonderful job coping. As for the holidays, do what you normally do. I think your wife would agree. Please keep us posted on her progress. Again, I just want to say how blessed she is to have you. God is so good!!!
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Old 08-01-2009, 10:00 PM   #14
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No more pain for my love of my life.

It was a hard battle and so hard this past year. Jackie had gone through so much. We would beat one thing and then take two steps back to deal with something else.
My son has lost his loving mom and I have lost my love, my life, my friend, my wife.
We had made plans when Jackie had gotten better to be at DisneyWorld last week and this upcoming week. We cancelled several months ago. Jackie wanted me to take Chris but we both said we would go together as a family.

We prayed and hoped but the disease had spread throughout and cut short her life. Jackie was home with us the final week. Never alone and never without our love. Hospice was a great help.

Jackie had made me promise if something were to ever happen, to take Chris back to Disney.

Chris was so strong thru all this and so mature. He was my strength to deal and help with all this.

We miss Jackie and know that now, Jackie is with our Lord and in no more pain or suffering. Jackie is always in our hearts and always in our mind. She is with us wherever we go and we will NEVER EVER forget her. We are going back but it will be hard. I have to stay strong for Chris.

Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. God bless you all.
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Old 08-01-2009, 11:11 PM   #15
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I'm so sorry.

I wish you and your son a beautiful WDW vacation.
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