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Old 01-05-2014, 04:47 PM   #1
FlyingDumbo
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Frustrated. Breach of etiquette.

I am in the worst mood ever, woke up that way after a rough night with no sleep. We just moved in this past Thursday, and the house is a mess! I have a 7 month old, so I am covered in spit up and a mess. We haven't unpacked since we worked Friday, and we've spent all morning painting. New neighbors keep popping by to welcome us to the neighborhood. I think t is really kind and sweet, but I've not been inviting anyone in because I am frankly, embarrassed by the disaster area that is my home. I'm a mess, the house s a mess, and it's not a good time for company. My husband thinks they are all going to find me incredibly rude or not inviting them in on a cold day, but I'm horrified at the state of the mess. Please tell me the neighbors are not all going to hate me.
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:55 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by FlyingDumbo View Post
I am in the worst mood ever, woke up that way after a rough night with no sleep. We just moved in this past Thursday, and the house is a mess! I have a 7 month old, so I am covered in spit up and a mess. We haven't unpacked since we worked Friday, and we've spent all morning painting. New neighbors keep popping by to welcome us to the neighborhood. I think t is really kind and sweet, but I've not been inviting anyone in because I am frankly, embarrassed by the disaster area that is my home. I'm a mess, the house s a mess, and it's not a good time for company. My husband thinks they are all going to find me incredibly rude or not inviting them in on a old day, but I'm horrified at the state of the mess. Please tell me the neighbors are no all going to hate me.
They should understand!

I can't imagine them not understanding. I would let DH handle it with these conditions. Stand guard at the door, thank them for dropping by, and do not let anyone in! Nothing wrong with that at all.

On one hand people would expect the house to be messy just moving in. But you have a baby and the transition is bigger! You aren't rude! You aren't feeling tip top and you are taking care of a baby on top of all else.

I don't think it's an etiquette thing. You have to take care of yourself!
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Old 01-05-2014, 05:08 PM   #3
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Just kindly and firmly tell them that with the move and the baby, you're just not ready for company. Thank them for coming and tell them you plan to see them again in a couple weeks. Then do it. Good neighbors are more valuable than gold.
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Old 01-05-2014, 05:18 PM   #4
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When you are more settled make it a point to invite them for coffee. Written note invite in heir mailbox, leave your phone number, etc. and come right out and say you were feeling overwhelmed when you moved in and hoped they would understand and 'start fresh'. It will be fine.
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Old 01-05-2014, 05:20 PM   #5
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No! IMO, they are not expecting to be invited in! They want to stop by and welcome you - not inconvenience you! They understand that you are in the middle of a move. Just smile, thank them, and get back to your baby.

Don't do anything that sounds like you are turning them away, you're not, you're just not inviting them in.

If you want to sound inviting, just say you're looking forward to getting to know them when you're settled in.
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Old 01-05-2014, 05:22 PM   #6
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I agree with your husband, only because no one else is.





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Old 01-05-2014, 05:23 PM   #7
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Somebody just moved to our neighborhood and we greeted them when the moved in. We simply said hi to them while they were outside their house. At no point did we expect the to invite us in, and nor did they. But that is how things work in my area.

I wish I had your problem All my interaction with my neighbors ahs been real quick greetings if we happen to be in our yards at the same time. Therefore I don't know anybody's names. I wish people had come to introduce themselves when we moved in and then I might know my neighbors better.

If you're concerned about feeling rude, you might want to just say, "I'm sorry, I'd invite you in, but we are still unpacking".
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Old 01-05-2014, 05:25 PM   #8
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I agree with your husband, only because no one else is.







I wonder if DH had the same conditions (right down the the spit up on the shirt) as the OP if he would be so light footed and breezy about it.
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Old 01-05-2014, 05:28 PM   #9
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If I were dropping off food to welcome new neighbors, I would not expect to be invited in. I would quickly introduce myself, give you my dish and leave. I would hope people understand that you are putting your house together and not up for company. As others have said, you can socialize at a later time, especially when the spring comes around and more people are outdoors.
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Old 01-05-2014, 06:26 PM   #10
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I do not see an etiquette breach at all. If you do not want company...I would simply blame the baby. . I would even go so far as putting up a note on the door indictating that the baby is taking a much-needed nap!
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Old 01-05-2014, 06:35 PM   #11
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I have taken food to new neighbors and never expected to be invited in. To me, the point of the food is to make a stressful, busy time a bit easier on them, Not to create more work and distraction when they are obviously busy. I can't imagine anyone holding that against you. I would be friendly next time I saw any of the neighbors and would send a nice thank you mentioning I was looking forward to getting to know everyone.
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Old 01-05-2014, 06:42 PM   #12
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I always bring over some treat to welcome in the new neighbors. The last one told me we were the only ones that bothered to introduce ourselves. They are really nice neighbors and I can see them being friends.
And I never expected them to invite me in when I first stopped over.
So no worries. Sounds like they are anxious to make friends!
Enjoy your new neighborhood,

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Old 01-05-2014, 06:45 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by OceanAnnie View Post


I wonder if DH had the same conditions (right down the the spit up on the shirt) as the OP if he would be so light footed and breezy about it.
Right? He actually told me I looked like I'd been standing under a tree full of pigeons. It's less funny when it's YOU.
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Old 01-05-2014, 07:15 PM   #14
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I agree with the other posters. When I stop to see a new neighbor I want to know what I can do for them; not what they can do for me!! When things settle invite them for coffee. It will be fine, enjoy your new house and it sounds like you have welcoming neighbors.
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Old 01-05-2014, 09:18 PM   #15
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One of my neighbors kept stopping by for days after we moved in to meet us. I had a 4 year old and a 9 month old.

I finally got fed up, asked her in and asked if she could babysit for 2 hours so I could at least get the kitchen unpacked.

She backed out of the house carefully saying she had to be somewhere soon but wanted to stop by and actually meet me.
My husband wasn't home - he had gone back to work - it was just me trying to deal with the kids and unpacking.

I was kind of disappointed that she didn't help or at least recommend a good local babysitter. Oh and she didn't stop by again - I invited her over about a month later when we were mostly unpacked and organized.

I would think you are doing great - don't worry. Once you are unpacked, you can slowly get to know your new neighbors.
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