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Old 07-27-2008, 05:45 PM   #1
Mrs. The King
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Sweet Mother of Fudge! 2/15 A Goodbye Summary~Pimples and Farts

If you are a fan of my last trip report, I am sure there is a creme your doctor can prescribe for you. Until you get that appointment, here is my latest offering.


Our plans were five days and six nights in The World. It has been almost two years since our last proper visit. My parents work seasonally at Disney, so we get the perks provided for friends and family. Because of this we are able to go every year with the kids. This year we set up our visit to correspond with my grandfather's 90th birthday party. We sandwiched visits to my parents home in Florida on either end. So I was packing for four separate events, the traveling, the parent visit, the party, and The World.

Here is an excerpt from my pre trippy:
I guess I should list our cast members again just for hoots and Hollers.


"Me, Mrs. The King. I stole my Hubby's Id early in my Dis career because he had like 88 posts. I am a Mom. I have been a Stay at home mom for over 9 years now. I have done many things to hustle some dolla bills. Like Ebay, daycare, etc. Now both kids are in school and I Substitute teach. I love it. I will warn you now, I find potty humor irresistible. Get out now if you find it unappealing. Run fast. And don't read the TR in my siggy. I am 33, just a few weeks from 34.

Him, Mr. The King. A patient special education teacher that specializes in emotionally disturbed middle schoolers. I could never do his job. It is very tough. His parents are also amazing teachers with the same specialty. I am crazy about his family and can't wait to get them to Disney with us someday. More about Mr. The King. He is smart. Very smart. He hides it well.

Prince Charming (PC) My son just turned 9 years old. He was born a gentleman. I really can't take credit for how wonderful he is. It is in his soul and eyes. He is pure goodness and takes after his father. He holds doors, is polite, bangingly smart, and so appreciative of anything he receives. He will be an amazing man.

Princess Stitch (PS) My girl just turned 6. She is trouble. She takes after me. Poor thing. She is feisty, and funny. She loves music and animals. She walks the tightrope of tomboy and princess like a pro. I love that. I love that she can be in her princess dress holding a frog in each hand. She has potty humor too (like these kids had a choice)

Grandma My mom. She will be on board for our trip. Really she just likes alone time with the kids. She is the source of all my evil powers and weird impulses. She is adorable and looks like everyone's favorite grandma. She has a way of talking to people that puts them at ease and allows her to tell them anything. Lipstick on your teeth? Fly unzipped? Grandma has got your back.

Grandpa He is a saint. He is a hard working, very funny guy. He loves playing with the kids. And they are crazy about him. This year, he should appear more in my trip report, because he will be with us every evening and two days in parks.



I am jonesing for Disney. I can't lie. Our One day sneaky visit was last April. I need my Disney. I like once a year, long leisurely vacation. Almost decadent use of tickets and time. Hot? Let's go to the pool for a few hours.. Tired? Sleep in! This year we a ripe for Disney. Ripe. Ripe was a word Grandma always used for stinky armpits. That's about where I am now. I am stinky for Disney.

I want my POP. I want my ADRs. I want to break in our Dining plan. What will that be like? I wonder. I am trying to eat more now to stretch my stomach out so I can get the most bang for my buck.


This is my first pre trippie. I will try to include the hand painted outfits, the Tinkerbell presents, ADR plans. I want to try out the Princess and Pirate Party. Mr. The King can be the princess and I will be the Pirate.


Small talk. I just realized I suck at it. So bad. I have two examples for you.


I was watching my daughter's soccer game. (Which is really a blob of kids running in a pack together for 40 minutes too long at this age) And making the dreaded "small talk". The nice lady had described a restaurant and how fancy it is. Super fancy, leave the kids home and get dressed up kind of fancy. I was nodding and tried to make some noise out of my mouth to show I was paying attention. So I said "So it is real Ritsy Titsy?" My brain stalled. I can't believe I just made up a word like Titsy and tried to pass it off in an adult conversation. So of course, this has sent me into a fit of inappropriate giggles which, to my horror, turned into an all out crying laughing, slapping my knees, farting heckle. I could hardly breathe at my own embarrassment. For Pete's sakes. It's bad enough I said it. No need for the spectacle of me dissolving in to hysterics.


Another example.

Gesturing with a tampon while talking to prominent community officials does not make your point more valid. I was digging through my purse getting my keys, when I was stopped by an important official to discuss some community issues. Not a problem, I was on my game this time. I made my case, with lots of elaborate hand gestures, as I always do when I a passionate about an issue. In horror, out of the corner of my eye, I see that I am holding not just my keys, but a tampon as well. My heads up response "Oh Look, I have a tampon, but I am not on my period right now or anything."



More poor son, may have inherited this gift. The other day after eating a Peppermint Patty, he told me "Mom, every time I eat one of these cookies, I feel like I am sweating!"


Chapter pre 1 The Gyno visit

Chapter 1ish Tinkerbell Farts

Chapter 1 1/2 Meet the Jiggler

Chapter 2ish Dead Animal Show

Chapter 3 Body Hair Triage

Chapter 4ish Senior Lap Dances

Poppy at his party picsparty

Chapter 5 ish Goofy and a mallet

Chapter solid 6 Sweet Dreams are made of bacon. Come'ere Piglet!!

Chapter 7 Mrs. the King brings her angry eyes

Chapter 8 Glitter, Jigglers and Jellybags, Oh My!

Chapter 9 A Poop Is A Wish Your Fart Makes

Chapter 10 A Buffet Style Bathroom

Chapter 11 and 10 1/2 The Flaccid Hot Dog

Chapter 12 Carcasses and Dung

Chapter 12 The Jiggler Puckers up

Chapter 13 Above the Crown and Below the Pearls rincess:

Chapter 14 Bar Brawls and Croc Hunts

Chapter 15 Salt and Chocolate


Chapter 16 The Brown Bag


Chapter 17 Goofy Packs a Punch


Chapter 18 My Sweet Friend

Chapter 19 Nudding Around


Chapter 20 Go Ahead. Report Me. Everyone is doing it. ::cop:

Chapter 21 Time and Space Continuum


Chapter 22 One Girl is Deflated


Chapter 23 Drooling Jiggler

Chapter 24 Super Period

Chapter 25 Bad Parenting 101

Chapter 26 Getting On

Chapter 27 Rubber and Lettuce

Chapter 28 Bubbles and Giggles


Chapter 29 I didn't get arrested...this time.

Christmas Bonus Jonas Chapter


Chapter 30 Kitty Toilets and Options button

Chapter 31 Little Girl Blue House Paint


Chapter 32 Can't make it to was

Chapter 33 Chin Hairs and Dead Hamsters

Chapter 34 Ode to One Ply Toilet Paper and Plunged Fish


Chapter 35 ~A Summary~ Pimples and Farts

Last edited by Mrs. The King; 02-27-2009 at 05:09 PM. Reason: I am thinking of selling disney potty water on e bay
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Old 07-27-2008, 10:40 PM   #2
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Give me a PM, when you get this one done.
I laughed so darn hard with your last one, my family thought I was nuts.
I enjoy reading a Trip Report in one setting.
For some reason, bathroom exploits don't get you banned from the DIS. Just don't name parts.
Hope you had or you are having a great time in Florida.
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Old 07-28-2008, 10:43 AM   #3
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I'll be here... waiting... and getting bloated...
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Last edited by PrincessV; 07-28-2008 at 10:43 AM. Reason: Hi Marisa!
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Old 07-28-2008, 12:54 PM   #4
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I loved your first TR, so I can't wait to read this one!!!

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Old 07-28-2008, 04:43 PM   #5
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Got my bells...and they are on! Can't wait for a great laugh!
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Old 07-28-2008, 06:46 PM   #6
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It has begun!
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Old 07-29-2008, 08:33 AM   #7
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I'm in.
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Old 07-29-2008, 09:09 PM   #8
Mrs. The King
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhMari View Post
Give me a PM, when you get this one done.
I laughed so darn hard with your last one, my family thought I was nuts.
I enjoy reading a Trip Report in one setting.
For some reason, bathroom exploits don't get you banned from the DIS. Just don't name parts.
Hope you had or you are having a great time in Florida.
Will do no parts naming. hmm. Code words work? Like mac and cheese? Franks and beans? No, no, nothing like that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessV View Post
I'll be here... waiting... and getting bloated...
Hey PrincessV!! I am not even unpacked yet and here I am on the Dis This one should be good. A lot went wrong and so much went Disney magic right!

Quote:
Originally Posted by praisehisname View Post
I loved your first TR, so I can't wait to read this one!!!

Denise
Hey Denise! Thanks for coming to this trip report. I can't wait to really get it started! Pictures, ponies and prizes for everyone!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by princessjv View Post
Got my bells...and they are on! Can't wait for a great laugh!
I'll make one special for you

Quote:
Originally Posted by whogirl'smom View Post
It has begun!



Quote:
Originally Posted by daly7o9 View Post
I'm in.





Recommended reading for this trip report is in my siggy. The cockroach nightmare pulsates with many stories from past Disney trips and references to my butt, the jiggler. The second Fudge link is a pretrippy for this one.


You know how your supposed to test a small patch of hair to see if you are allergic to hair dye? Well, the cockroach trippy is your test patch, try it on, drive it around, marinate in it. If you like it come back here for much more of the same

Last edited by Mrs. The King; 07-29-2008 at 09:12 PM. Reason: I can't wait to drag this trippy out of the rock it should be hiding under.
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Old 07-29-2008, 09:24 PM   #9
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Old 07-31-2008, 05:49 PM   #10
Mrs. The King
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Here are a couple more stories from the pre trippy:
So I had my annual. You know, the annual. I dread it every year. Why is it you are never down far enough? You always get the "Scootch down" "Little farther" Etc.



I decided this year I would mix it up a little. I wanted to be the first woman to hear "Whoa! Back up!!! Back the truck up!! Too far"


And I had to fill the sample cup. For the sample. I have issues with this because I always forget about this feet of balance and anatomy and use the potty before I need to ummm. donate. Well, this year I had a huge bottle of Iced tea before I arrived. Just before I headed off to spoil the whole test, I remembered. That's right I was proud. In an urgent kind of way. After squirming in the waiting area, I was called back and handed the large sterile cup. This cup has always been a source of shame for me. My donations were always pitiful, having to ask the nurse "Will this be enough?"

Not this time. My cup over flowth. Whoa Nellie. Holy moly. I carefully screw the top on my filled-to-the-brim cup. And sent it through the special dual doors. (I am secretly afraid that someone of the other side of that door will pull open their side, push open mine and say "Peeky, peeky".)

It occurs to me after I complete the transaction, I should have pored some out. Just to make it easier. For the peeky person on the other side of that specimen door. Oops.

Mickey's farts
must smell like waffles and asphalt. I think. The other night we had a warm night and a warm breeze. We pulled up to the local ice cream shop that, for the love of everything holy, has a drive thru. And they serve fresh made waffle cones. The combo of the waffles and the warm air hit us like a punch from Walt Disney himself (RIP Walt). Did this ever happen to you in your home town? We all started sniffing and dreaming of our next visit.



Ok, that's it for Pre trippy flash backs. But I love my Pre trippy friends! You guys rock!

In preparation for the visit, we ripped a number off this bad boy everyday






And we sing. To the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree"

"Oh Disney World, Oh Disney World, We're coming to you soon, Oh Disney World, Oh Disney World we're coming to you soon. We'll be there soon, Oh Disney World, We're coming soon, oh Disney World. Oh Disney World, Oh Disney World We're coming to you, SOOOOOOOn!"

Complete with screechy out of tune voices and yodeling. While doing the universal hand motion for Disney (Making your two hands into fists and putting them like Mickey's ears on the top of your head)


The numbers got smaller and our excitement got bigger. My job was to make custom painted outfits for the kids. PS picked out Chip and Dale, Daisy and Donald, and of course, her beloved Pluto. PC was tougher. He is a little older now and was steering away from character shirts. So I made a monorail themed one for him and a scrap book for him to get transportation driver autographs. I also made shirts for the kids to wear to my grandfather's surprise 90th (Normally, you would shy away from Surprise anything at 90, but my Poppy is a different story). At the last minute I decided to learn how to make matching hair bows for each of PS's outfits. Polymer clay and I became fast friends. I will try and post pics here of each one. The packing was done, the pet sitter was in place. We packed the van. Tinkerbell presents we stowed away. Now it was time to go to sleep We were blasting off at 3:30am. The kids and I were still bouncing off the walls at 2:30am. Eventually we fell sound asleep, and Mr. The King woke us up one hour later. And we were off.


Up next: What's that smell? Tinkerbell Farts!!!!


Chapter pre 1

Last edited by Mrs. The King; 09-07-2008 at 09:39 AM. Reason: I think chicken hates me
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Old 07-31-2008, 05:59 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. The King View Post
It occurs to me after I complete the transaction, I should have pored some out. Just to make it easier. For the peeky person on the other side of that specimen door. Oops.
I have thunk the very same thing, many, many times again.



Super excited to see the homemade goods. LOVE IT!
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Last edited by princessjv; 07-31-2008 at 06:00 PM. Reason: First. Beat ya V!
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Old 07-31-2008, 06:37 PM   #12
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You made your own hairbows....that's one dedicated mama.
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Old 07-31-2008, 06:43 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by princessjv View Post
I have thunk the very same thing, many, many times again.



Super excited to see the homemade goods. LOVE IT!
Thanks, I will get Mr. the King on it ASAP

Quote:
Originally Posted by whogirl'smom View Post
You made your own hairbows....that's one dedicated mama.
I think the word you were looking for is "crazy"
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Old 07-31-2008, 06:49 PM   #14
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I am so in. I laughed so hard at your first couple of posts that I cannot turn away now.
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Old 07-31-2008, 06:53 PM   #15
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Hi, I am kind of new here, so I have never read one of your trip reports, but after reading just this much, I am anxious for more! I love your sense of humor!!

Kelly
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