Graduation Gifts - The DIS Discussion Forums

lastminutemom · 05-17-2008, 05:59 AM

We have reached the age, that many of our friends have children who are graduating high school and college. For our good friends, I have no problem knowing what to spend. For these children, I have watched them grow up and see them regularly.

This year, for the first time, we have received announcements from children we have never met (or haven't seen in a dozen years). One is college and one is high school. (As an aside, we have a child who had a Bar Mitzvah a few years ago and neither family was on the guest list.)

Both sets of parents are old friends of my husband.

We need to do something, but how much? I know gift cards are good, but am really unclear on what to spend.

If a gift, any suggestions? Boy graduating from high school and girl from college.

aka-mad4themouse · 05-17-2008, 06:45 AM

I'm buying copies of "The Last Lecture" by by Randy Pausch and Jeffrey Zaslow for some of the graduates on our list. Amazon has it for $12.07 each. I'll add a check ($25, $50, $100 - depends on how close we are to the graduate). I know that gift cards are nice but they all can really use cash the most and the book adds a nice touch.

Forevryoung · 05-17-2008, 09:11 AM

Honestly, I don't think a gift is necessary.

I think that announcements are just "here's the heads up that we reached x point in our life" not necessarily "I need a gift" type of things.

Personally, I think announcements are cheesy. The people who have any clue about me know where I am in life, they don't need an announcement

Belle5 · 05-17-2008, 09:38 AM

Personally, I would not send anything for the above mentioned announcements. We have recently received announcements from families that I did not even consider inviting to my own son's graduation party. These are local families where I have not seen the kids since they were little. I take these announcements as "just to let you know where this child is in life" kinds of things. I have not sent these folks announcements for my (now) three graduates. Some parents are just proud and want to share, maybe even over-ordered the photos and announcements and are just spreading them around. Most of the announcements we send out are to grandparents, close relatives and close friends. They are close to us in relationship and would want to send my children something. Personally, I would be embarrassed to send an announcement to someone with whom we are not in current relationship. If you ever see the parents again, say something like, "Thanks for letting us know about Tom. I had no idea he was old enough to graduate!"

heartbeeps · 05-17-2008, 02:22 PM

it's so difficult trying to determine the intent sometimes! We have distant second nieces/nephews whom we've seen once (or never) and receive announcements from them. Being on a fixed budget, $25 is a lot for us but we've been sending $25. for each announcement we receive.

It's so hard and with today's economy, we have to cut back any way we can so we reconsidered our past strategy... which is crazy b'c how can you give 2 out of 3 kids in the same family $25 and ignore the 3rd?! So on we march with no change in direction, just lighter in the pocket book.

We rec'd a wedding invitation for a friend's daughter's wedding. DH met the daughter about 3 times on a fishing trip; I've never met her. When I told DH it would cost us $34 in gas + $120 for a motel room + $35 in pet care + a gift check for $150-200, we'd be spending ~$350 to attend a wedding of a stranger! I told him I'd rather just send regrets and a $100 check and be done with it! We'll see where we end up on that one (he thinks it'll be nice to go).

Yesterday, we received an invite to an ordination across the country in 4 days!

What was their intent for Pete's sake?! Did they honestly think we'd consider attending? and, DH asked - does this mean a gift?! (Yep, I think so unfortunately.)

If you do give something, how do you make it meaningful if it's under $25 today?

leahjade · 05-17-2008, 04:14 PM

I can guarantee you that these kids are hoping for a check - they don't really care about letting you know about where they are in life! Don't you remember being a teenager and sending out graduation announcements. If we're close to the child and/or go to their party, we send or bring along a check. If we hardly know the kid or haven't seen them in 15 years, we just send a congratulations card.

05-17-2008, 05:59 AM	#1
lastminutemom DIS Veteran Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 537	Graduation Gifts We have reached the age, that many of our friends have children who are graduating high school and college. For our good friends, I have no problem knowing what to spend. For these children, I have watched them grow up and see them regularly. This year, for the first time, we have received announcements from children we have never met (or haven't seen in a dozen years). One is college and one is high school. (As an aside, we have a child who had a Bar Mitzvah a few years ago and neither family was on the guest list.) Both sets of parents are old friends of my husband. We need to do something, but how much? I know gift cards are good, but am really unclear on what to spend. If a gift, any suggestions? Boy graduating from high school and girl from college.

05-17-2008, 06:45 AM	#2
aka-mad4themouse Budget Board Co-Host Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Between a rock & a hard place Posts: 9,302	I'm buying copies of "The Last Lecture" by by Randy Pausch and Jeffrey Zaslow for some of the graduates on our list. Amazon has it for $12.07 each. I'll add a check ($25, $50, $100 - depends on how close we are to the graduate). I know that gift cards are nice but they all can really use cash the most and the book adds a nice touch. __________________ -insert clever observation here-

05-17-2008, 09:38 AM	#4
Belle5 DIS Veteran Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: The Lone Star State Posts: 3,827	Personally, I would not send anything for the above mentioned announcements. We have recently received announcements from families that I did not even consider inviting to my own son's graduation party. These are local families where I have not seen the kids since they were little. I take these announcements as "just to let you know where this child is in life" kinds of things. I have not sent these folks announcements for my (now) three graduates. Some parents are just proud and want to share, maybe even over-ordered the photos and announcements and are just spreading them around. Most of the announcements we send out are to grandparents, close relatives and close friends. They are close to us in relationship and would want to send my children something. Personally, I would be embarrassed to send an announcement to someone with whom we are not in current relationship. If you ever see the parents again, say something like, "Thanks for letting us know about Tom. I had no idea he was old enough to graduate!" __________________ Proud mom of three Eagle Scouts, one Life Scout, one First Class Scout and one little Scout Buddy.

05-17-2008, 02:22 PM	#5
heartbeeps not taking vacations but collecting experiences! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the Garden State Posts: 1,600	knowing someone's intent is so difficult it's so difficult trying to determine the intent sometimes! We have distant second nieces/nephews whom we've seen once (or never) and receive announcements from them. Being on a fixed budget, $25 is a lot for us but we've been sending $25. for each announcement we receive. It's so hard and with today's economy, we have to cut back any way we can so we reconsidered our past strategy... which is crazy b'c how can you give 2 out of 3 kids in the same family $25 and ignore the 3rd?! So on we march with no change in direction, just lighter in the pocket book. We rec'd a wedding invitation for a friend's daughter's wedding. DH met the daughter about 3 times on a fishing trip; I've never met her. When I told DH it would cost us $34 in gas + $120 for a motel room + $35 in pet care + a gift check for $150-200, we'd be spending ~$350 to attend a wedding of a stranger! I told him I'd rather just send regrets and a $100 check and be done with it! We'll see where we end up on that one (he thinks it'll be nice to go). Yesterday, we received an invite to an ordination across the country in 4 days! What was their intent for Pete's sake?! Did they honestly think we'd consider attending? and, DH asked - does this mean a gift?! (Yep, I think so unfortunately.) If you do give something, how do you make it meaningful if it's under $25 today?

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05-17-2008, 09:11 AM	#3
Forevryoung DIS Veteran Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,772	Honestly, I don't think a gift is necessary. I think that announcements are just "here's the heads up that we reached x point in our life" not necessarily "I need a gift" type of things. Personally, I think announcements are cheesy. The people who have any clue about me know where I am in life, they don't need an announcement

05-17-2008, 04:14 PM	#6
leahjade DIS Veteran Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,520	I can guarantee you that these kids are hoping for a check - they don't really care about letting you know about where they are in life! Don't you remember being a teenager and sending out graduation announcements. If we're close to the child and/or go to their party, we send or bring along a check. If we hardly know the kid or haven't seen them in 15 years, we just send a congratulations card.