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Old 03-09-2008, 12:23 AM   #1
Imzadi
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In response to Always' slogan: Have a happy period

This was checked out on snopes, so far nothing has been posted about it.

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best web mail-award-winning letter.

"Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bulls***. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always. . . Best, Wendi Aarons Austin , TX "
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Old 03-09-2008, 12:47 AM   #2
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Old 03-09-2008, 12:49 AM   #3
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Hilarious!!

True or not, isn't this really the letter we have all wanted to write (well...women anyway)? I love it!
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Old 03-09-2008, 01:13 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Imzadi View Post
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Hilarious!

I especially love the above part!
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Old 03-09-2008, 01:27 AM   #5
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I got that as a forward from my one friend! I sent it out to all of my female friends right away! It's great!
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Old 03-09-2008, 01:28 AM   #6
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I love it!


Personally, I hate Always. Too much like plastic. I like something a little more natural feeling.
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Old 03-09-2008, 01:34 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDisneyGirl02 View Post
I got that as a forward from my one friend! I sent it out to all of my female friends right away! It's great!
I think every woman who gets it forwarded or reads it online, should make a copy & also email Mr. Thatcher. Maybe they will finally get the message & change that darn slogan when they receive thousands of the same letter from women all over America PMSing.
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Old 03-09-2008, 07:39 AM   #8
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I've seen that - it is funny!

As a side note, have you noticed the newer Always commercial that attempts to guilt us about complaining about their slogan? The commercial that states that girls in Africa need to miss school when they have their periods because they don't have any Always products? They don't say it, but the clear message there is "stop your complaining you spoiled American women....and have a happy period....Always."
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Old 03-09-2008, 07:39 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cteddiesgirl View Post




I love it!


Personally, I hate Always. Too much like plastic. I like something a little more natural feeling.
If you wanna go THERE...

I use cloth.

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Old 03-09-2008, 07:56 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ckay87 View Post
I've seen that - it is funny!

As a side note, have you noticed the newer Always commercial that attempts to guilt us about complaining about their slogan? The commercial that states that girls in Africa need to miss school when they have their periods because they don't have any Always products? They don't say it, but the clear message there is "stop your complaining you spoiled American women....and have a happy period....Always."
Then put them in a box and mail it to them (isn't that the standby response for finish your dinner because there are starving people in ____ country)?

I hate Always, they give me a rash. Oh, and I have never had a happy period. Personally I am counting down the days to menopause!!
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Old 03-09-2008, 08:03 AM   #11
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Sign me up for mailing this letter too, and I don't actually have periods on an even a semi-regular basis. But, when I do, ain't nobody happy in at least 2 counties! The girls in Africa CAN have MY allotment of Always. I get a rash, too....think it has something to do with my latex allergy. In fact, I got so sick of Always as a teenager....that it led me to Tampax/Playtex, and Kotex as needed. (no cloth here.... )
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Old 03-09-2008, 08:26 AM   #12
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wow...words right out of my mouth. Great letter.
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Old 03-09-2008, 08:31 AM   #13
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Oh My God! That is sooooo freakin funny.........and true.My whole family used to fear that time of the month around me. Now they fear menopause!
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Old 03-09-2008, 08:42 AM   #14
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While We're on the subject...

LOL!

Did anyone catch Tina Fey's appearance on SNL a couple of weeks ago and see the commercial they did for "Annuale", the birth control where you only get your period once a year? Totally hilarious!! I laughed so hard I was crying!

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Li...eo/#mea=221774
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Old 03-09-2008, 08:51 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bgirldeb View Post
LOL!

Did anyone catch Tina Fey's appearance on SNL a couple of weeks ago and see the commercial they did for "Annuale", the birth control where you only get your period once a year? Totally hilarious!! I laughed so hard I was crying!

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Li...eo/#mea=221774
Holy crap I think I just peed in my pants a little.


Tina Fey is a genius.
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