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Old 06-14-2014, 12:12 PM   #1
Gigi22
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Sharing Food and Costs in Restaurants WWYD?

This is kind of a budget question. Best friend and I occasionally go to a restaurant for a meal. We do not share a taste for many foods. She likes really spicy food, me not so much. She likes a lot of fish such as sardines and smoked oysters, the only time I have sardines in the house is for my cat. Issue is, best friend sometimes goes out expecting to order two or three appetizers to share in a restaurant, and not order a main plate. I have participated in a few of these shared orders with her, and it rarely ends well for me so most recently I just order and pay for my own meal. I think I have offended her. But, no way am I ever again ordering and paying for stuff that I don't like just to keep the peace, so that she can have a more inexpensive meal. WWYD?
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Old 06-14-2014, 12:37 PM   #2
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I think you should tell her that you don't like the same food as she does, so you want to order your own. Be honest and keep it simple.
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Old 06-14-2014, 01:56 PM   #3
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I think you should tell her that you don't like the same food as she does, so you want to order your own. Be honest and keep it simple.
I agree. There's no need to make a big deal about it.
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Old 06-14-2014, 01:59 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Gigi22 View Post
This is kind of a budget question. Best friend and I occasionally go to a restaurant for a meal. We do not share a taste for many foods. She likes really spicy food, me not so much. She likes a lot of fish such as sardines and smoked oysters, the only time I have sardines in the house is for my cat. Issue is, best friend sometimes goes out expecting to order two or three appetizers to share in a restaurant, and not order a main plate. I have participated in a few of these shared orders with her, and it rarely ends well for me so most recently I just order and pay for my own meal. I think I have offended her. But, no way am I ever again ordering and paying for stuff that I don't like just to keep the peace, so that she can have a more inexpensive meal. WWYD?
Not a big deal in my book---next time you're out together just tell the server at the start you're on separate checks and order what you like. If your friend has an issue--it's her problem not yours.
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Old 06-14-2014, 07:30 PM   #5
mom to minnie&mickey
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There is no reason for anyone to be offended in the scenario you described. Each orders the meal they prefer and pays for it. Simple. Why would you have to settle for food that you do not like just to keep the peace? Next time you go out settle this with the server at the beginning by asking for separate bills. Explain to her what you have posted for us here. If you sense any animosity coming from her then yes, I am afraid she has been using your reluctance to say anything in the past to have herself a discounted meal and the one that she prefers to boot. Now you have put an end to that little freebie.
At this point I would reconsider my dining out with her if not my "friendship" with her because real friends do not use you like that.
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Old 06-14-2014, 08:15 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by mom to minnie&mickey
If you sense any animosity coming from her then yes, I am afraid she has been using your reluctance to say anything in the past to have herself a discounted meal and the one that she prefers to boot. Now you have put an end to that little freebie.
At this point I would reconsider my dining out with her if not my "friendship" with her because real friends do not use you like that.
You may be reading too much into this. Some people like to share. Kind of a sampler. Split Checks is one answer. Occasionally picking a restaurant you can agree works for both is another.
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Old 06-14-2014, 08:20 PM   #7
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Did she say something that makes you think you offended her?
I would not share an appetizer that I didn't like to keep the peace. I'd order what I want and pay for what I ate. If my dinner guest is offended by that there really isn't much I can do, its silly to be offended because someone doesn't want to eat the same food as you
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Old 06-16-2014, 09:49 AM   #8
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I feel for the OP. Sometimes it's not so easy. We went out with another couple and the wife criticized my appetizer choice because 'it wasn't shareable'. I did not know that she expected me to share? But I ordered it anyway, and I did share (even though I didn't want to).

We haven't gone out with them again. I think she really got insulted that I wanted to order what I wanted to eat.
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Old 06-16-2014, 09:59 AM   #9
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I feel for the OP. Sometimes it's not so easy. We went out with another couple and the wife criticized my appetizer choice because 'it wasn't shareable'. I did not know that she expected me to share? But I ordered it anyway, and I did share (even though I didn't want to).

We haven't gone out with them again. I think she really got insulted that I wanted to order what I wanted to eat.
The difference is that the OP is dining with her BEST FRIEND. You would think that best friends should be able to go out together without having to worry about insulting each other over food preferences.

OP, just tell your friend that you're not in the mood for appetizers and you are really looking forward to having <insert your preferred meal here>. Then add that she shouldn't feel like that should keep her from ordering appetizers for her entree if that's what she wants. You can just instruct the server to bring her appetizers with your entree.
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Old 06-16-2014, 11:10 AM   #10
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I have one friend that likes to go out and do the same thing, get a few appetizers and share instead of our own entrees. I'm happy to do it but the difference is we choose options we BOTH like. We know each others preferences and don't suggest items we know the other one wouldn't like.

If your friend really wants to share, but she orders spicy food and sardines knowing you don't care for them, I find that just plain odd.
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Old 06-16-2014, 11:23 AM   #11
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I feel for the OP. Sometimes it's not so easy. We went out with another couple and the wife criticized my appetizer choice because 'it wasn't shareable'. I did not know that she expected me to share? But I ordered it anyway, and I did share (even though I didn't want to).

We haven't gone out with them again. I think she really got insulted that I wanted to order what I wanted to eat.
Meh. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
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Old 06-16-2014, 04:52 PM   #12
mom to minnie&mickey
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Originally Posted by chloelovesdisney View Post
I have one friend that likes to go out and do the same thing, get a few appetizers and share instead of our own entrees. I'm happy to do it but the difference is we choose options we BOTH like. We know each others preferences and don't suggest items we know the other one wouldn't like.

If your friend really wants to share, but she orders spicy food and sardines knowing you don't care for them, I find that just plain odd.


Exactly, and not odd at all, at least from the friend's perspective. She gets to eat most of the food but only pays half.
Since they are bff's they know each other's likes and dislikes where food is concerned so I cannot think of another reason why she does this. She must have noticed in the past that the op was eating very little but still it continues? OP, time to speak up!
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