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Old 04-18-2010, 06:16 PM   #106
goofyernmost
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I used to be a tour guide at a historical site, and once during the course of a tour, I addressed a mixed group of men and women as "you guys". Afterwards, I got "talked to" by one of the women about how this term is offensive to some and that it's not a good to use. Who knew?! I mean, it might be a bit informal, but I never knew some people took offense to it! I was a lot more careful after that.
Does anyone have the ability to imagine what would happen in the world if everyone that was offended by something were able to get it stopped, even though nothing offensive was intended. We would come to a communication stand still. The reason it is used that way is to avoid calling people...hey you!

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YES!! I was in Kmart the other day and the cashier called me "hon" 3 times! Why do people do that?
Cause they don't know your name, and they are trying to be friendly and not cold. I guess a cold world would be better? The real problem is that some have connected the terms hon, dear, darlin and sweetie with some form of sexual connotation. It really isn't one.
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Old 04-18-2010, 07:13 PM   #107
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Does anyone have the ability to imagine what would happen in the world if everyone that was offended by something were able to get it stopped, even though nothing offensive was intended. We would come to a communication stand still. The reason it is used that way is to avoid calling people...hey you!
The owner of a gift shop I worked at when I was a teenager called us employees that constantly! Guess she never wanted to bother learning all our names.
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Old 04-18-2010, 07:18 PM   #108
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Originally Posted by goofyernmost View Post
Does anyone have the ability to imagine what would happen in the world if everyone that was offended by something were able to get it stopped, even though nothing offensive was intended. We would come to a communication stand still. The reason it is used that way is to avoid calling people...hey you!



Cause they don't know your name, and they are trying to be friendly and not cold. I guess a cold world would be better? The real problem is that some have connected the terms hon, dear, darlin and sweetie with some form of sexual connotation. It really isn't one.
You can be warm without being condescending. I don't like people I don't know calling me Honey, Sweetie, etc. Heck, I don't even think they should use my first name. I just think it's rude. I don't find anything sexual about those words.

I do realize, living in the south, that the intention is usually not to be rude, so I don't let it bother me. I don't like it, though.

Editing to add: I don't at all mind it when older people call me those names, and I quite like being called "Love" by an older person.
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Old 08-24-2010, 11:22 AM   #109
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I work at a local business, yesterday a young girl came in made her purchase, recieved her change and said," THANKS HONEY". Here she is i'd say 25, younger than my daughter and im 46. Well she left the store and all i could do was to laugh. In High School i took a few courses in sociology and phychology. Some people do it to make themselves look as to be above others, better than when in all it makes them look small. I know there are older people that just cant help it and it sounds normal and then the others, what, trying to act grown up and it comes out sounding fake. In my opinion if you come across one of those fake HONEYS you can always look at them and say," well your welcome HONEY" with a big smile on your face i bet they wont call you that again. It made my day.
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Old 08-24-2010, 11:35 AM   #110
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I hope my life never gets to the point that I worry so much about such meaningless things. People get bent out of shape about the oddest stuff on the DIS.

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Old 08-24-2010, 11:40 AM   #111
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I'd rather be called honey than ma'am. That makes me feel old old old.

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Old 08-24-2010, 11:41 AM   #112
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"Pet names" have always been a pet peeve of mine. They just grate on my nerves. If I am having a bad day, I am tempted to not even respond.
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Old 08-24-2010, 11:49 AM   #113
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I hope my life never gets to the point that I worry so much about such meaningless things. People get bent out of shape about the oddest things on the DIS.
Everyone has something that irks them from time to time. There's nothing wrong with having a pet peeve, I'm certain that you have your own. You just don't get it b/c this isn't your particular pet peeve. I don't like having people I've never met before calling me "Honey" and "Sweetie." I find it rather condescending.
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Old 08-24-2010, 11:49 AM   #114
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If you go to Leicester you get called me duck, In Corby or work with people from Corby or Scotland (its a scotish thing I have been told?) its hen. I have also been called darlin and sweetheart but it never bothers me. Maam on the other hand makes me feel 100.
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Old 08-24-2010, 12:55 PM   #115
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My boss's boss calls me "Honey" all the time, but as a term of affection. Doesn't bother me. Only time it bothers me is when a waitress or somebody calls me "Honey." But that only seems to happen to me when I'm between Maryland and Georgia. And it's not a big enough deal for me to fret over.
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Old 08-24-2010, 01:04 PM   #116
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I really don't appreciate it when people call me 'honey'/'babe'/'sweetie' except for DF and even then it gets annoying. Please just call me ma'am or my name if you ask for it. Thank You
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Old 08-24-2010, 01:07 PM   #117
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I'd rather be called honey than ma'am. That makes me feel old old old.

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Old 08-24-2010, 01:22 PM   #118
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starrzone View Post
I used to be a tour guide at a historical site, and once during the course of a tour, I addressed a mixed group of men and women as "you guys". Afterwards, I got "talked to" by one of the women about how this term is offensive to some and that it's not a good to use. Who knew?! I mean, it might be a bit informal, but I never knew some people took offense to it! I was a lot more careful after that.
I'm waiting to get nailed one of these days for saying "you guys" but it IS on the list of "you know you are from...." since it can be a group of all woman and "Hey you guys" will come out just as easily as for mixed group, it doesn't matter. It has the same meaning as you all around here. Of course, I DO tend to think of The Electric Company at times too.

If it's someone from around here they wouldn't even think twice with hearing it.

I know we had this discussion before but really your choice is to call them nothing or apparently HEY YOU (which will offend someone too I'm sure) if you don't know their name but need to get their attention in a retail situation. There was a thread earlier that Ma'am was offensive. I really have no idea what other name you should use when running after someone who forgot part of their purchase & you don't know their name but you need to call them back -- "Excuse me Sir/Ma'am" seems to be the most logical to me but that also offends people.

OOPS -- I didn't notice this was a very old thread brought back up.
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Old 08-24-2010, 01:28 PM   #119
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I work with this man who calls all the women Honey Bun and all the men Buddy or Bub. Its very annoying. I dislike him also, so it makes it worse.

I dont think you should use those terms with anyone you dont know. I know in most cases it is used with only good thoughts in mind; but I do find it silly for a total stranger to call me honey. If I were a child maybe; but not another adult.
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Old 08-24-2010, 03:39 PM   #120
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Depends. If people my grandparents' age says it to me, I don't mind. But when upperclassmen call me (sophomore) sweetie or honey it really pisses me off. :| I'm only 3 months-2 years younger than you, you have no right to call me sweetie!
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