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Old 04-18-2010, 10:06 AM   #76
ols386
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Doesn't bother me in the least. I've never felt that I was being talked down to when someone called me that. Many people say those words, and don't think anything about it. I'd sure rather be called honey or babe, than some nasty name.
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:40 AM   #77
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I admit I am am guilty of using those terms.

I generally use the terms "My friend" and "Dear". I usually use these terms for patients of mine as a way to make the conversation prior to their surgery more casual and to try to relax people a bit. When I have to take a long health history and explain all of their anesthesia to them, some people will get *very* nervous. So I try my best to keep things semi-casual and tone down the formality of the conversation so the patients feel more comfortable. I talk about their hobbies and cut a couple of cheesy jokes to try to make the patient more at ease about the situation. Plus, If I am doing Cataracts, I may have more than a dozen patients to go through that day! Remembering names are a bit tougher in that situation.

"Alright, my friend, any more questions about your anesthesia?"
"Ok Dear, I am going to give you a mask that will make you feel very sleepy very fast. Pick a sweet dream!"

For a child I may use terms like Sweetheart, Buddy, Dear and Little Man (or Lady). (or for spanish children "Mi Vida") I truly use it to attempt to make people calmer and more comfortable.

Quite a few patients use the same terms back toward me. I get called Sweetheart, Mama, and Honey.... most often by older women.
While I understand you feel it relaxes people, I sure hope you're from the south or somewhere where using endearments on strangers is considered appropriate. I assume that if you are not, you would be smart enough to adjust accordingly. My dad was in the hospital recently and got called sweetheart by a nurse and was LIVID! To him, it was a condesending insult and, since he was lying helpless in a hospital bed, he did not handle it well. Put it this way, a feeble old man doesn't want to be called one. Seriously, it was a setback for him and could have had horrible consequences for his health.
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:42 AM   #78
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It does annoy me, and I'd rather ppl. not do it. Honestly, it almost feels a little degrading when ppl. do it, like they're talking down to me, although I'm not sure why I feel that way.- Probably because they don't know me, and it's just weird.
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:44 AM   #79
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In general, it doesn't bother me unless it's some really smarmy guy who's leering at me and saying it. Then I have to tell him to step off.
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:10 AM   #80
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and for the life of me and cannot understand why someone would be offended, but then again, I guess this is why the world if gong to crap these days. People just aren't nice anymore. RANT over
Just because someone doesn't like people calling them sweetie, honey, dear, etc. does not mean they're not a nice person. You're from the south, it's normal for you. Northern people, not so much. It's the same with tea. Southern people usually like it sweet. Northern people usually don't. Neither is wrong, just a difference of opinion.
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:12 AM   #81
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While I understand you feel it relaxes people, I sure hope you're from the south or somewhere where using endearments on strangers is considered appropriate. I assume that if you are not, you would be smart enough to adjust accordingly. My dad was in the hospital recently and got called sweetheart by a nurse and was LIVID! To him, it was a condesending insult and, since he was lying helpless in a hospital bed, he did not handle it well. Put it this way, a feeble old man doesn't want to be called one. Seriously, it was a setback for him and could have had horrible consequences for his health.
Could you please explain how being called a name (expecially a term of endearment) could result in a setback or horrible consequences for his health.

Lord help, this is why I don't work with the public.
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:14 AM   #82
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Just because someone doesn't like people calling them sweetie, honey, dear, etc. does not mean they're not a nice person. You're from the south, it's normal for you. Northern people, not so much. It's the same with tea. Southern people usually like it sweet. Northern people usually don't. Neither is wrong, just a difference of opinion.
IMHO it comes off as mean. I see people here getting almost irate when called a name. And for the record, I hate sweet tea. And how do you explain Maryland, everyone here says that Hon is a normal thing.

So glad I live in the south. Sorry, but that is the way I feel.
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:17 AM   #83
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Originally Posted by disykat View Post
While I understand you feel it relaxes people, I sure hope you're from the south or somewhere where using endearments on strangers is considered appropriate. I assume that if you are not, you would be smart enough to adjust accordingly. My dad was in the hospital recently and got called sweetheart by a nurse and was LIVID! To him, it was a condesending insult and, since he was lying helpless in a hospital bed, he did not handle it well. Put it this way, a feeble old man doesn't want to be called one. Seriously, it was a setback for him and could have had horrible consequences for his health.
So, whose fault is it? The nurse who said it with no intention of harm or your father who flew into a rage without thinking of things calmly?
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:19 AM   #84
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Originally Posted by scottishduffy View Post
I admit I am am guilty of using those terms.

I generally use the terms "My friend" and "Dear". I usually use these terms for patients of mine as a way to make the conversation prior to their surgery more casual and to try to relax people a bit. When I have to take a long health history and explain all of their anesthesia to them, some people will get *very* nervous. So I try my best to keep things semi-casual and tone down the formality of the conversation so the patients feel more comfortable. I talk about their hobbies and cut a couple of cheesy jokes to try to make the patient more at ease about the situation. Plus, If I am doing Cataracts, I may have more than a dozen patients to go through that day! Remembering names are a bit tougher in that situation.

"Alright, my friend, any more questions about your anesthesia?"
"Ok Dear, I am going to give you a mask that will make you feel very sleepy very fast. Pick a sweet dream!"

For a child I may use terms like Sweetheart, Buddy, Dear and Little Man (or Lady). (or for spanish children "Mi Vida") I truly use it to attempt to make people calmer and more comfortable.

Quite a few patients use the same terms back toward me. I get called Sweetheart, Mama, and Honey.... most often by older women.
And it makes me a lot more comfortable. I have noticed that when I do to a Dr's office, a lot of the staff just arent as nice. They are so busy being "professional" that they come of as Witches. (I wanted to use the rhyming word) Anyway, I bet most people would freak because right before my Hysterectomy my Gyn(male, by the way) Gave me a big hug and kissed me on the cheek and looked at my hubby and said don't worry we will take good care of her, and told me everything would be fine. It made me feel so much better.
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:21 AM   #85
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IMHO it comes off as mean. I see people here getting almost irate when called a name. And for the record, I hate sweet tea. And how do you explain Maryland, everyone here says that Hon is a normal thing.

So glad I live in the south. Sorry, but that is the way I feel.
While I do think that it could be a regional thing, I also think it is also due to someone's preference. I live in the West and have been called "Hun" or "Sweetie" and even "Darlin" but while it takes me back a bit because I am not used to hearing it at first, I am not really bothered by it.
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:24 AM   #86
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This is funny. The folks that would be so offended by these innocuous terms of endearment must be really over the top at the thought of needing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:28 AM   #87
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Why on earth should it bother you, Leicester people often call you me duck (to both sexes) Corby/Scotland call you hen. Its just a term of endearment why sweat over something that small.
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:31 AM   #88
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While I do think that it could be a regional thing, I also think it is also due to someone's preference. I live in the West and have been called "Hun" or "Sweetie" and even "Darlin" but while it takes me back a bit because I am not used to hearing it at first, I am not really bothered by it.
And really that is fine, We all have preferences, it is just the attitude with which some people express their preferences. I don't use these expressions except with my kid's friends and with my very dear friends, Heck my next door neighbor even tells me "love you" before she hangs up and we are not best friends. Anyway, I don't use those terms because I know some people don't care for them and that is their right to do so, I just don't understand people why get so worked up over it.
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:33 AM   #89
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I'm originally from the south, where this is considered the social norm. While it doesn't bother me much in social situations, it drives me UP THE WALL when people do it at work….. Especially when they are asking a favor of you. Maybe I am being too sensitive, but I find it slightly degrading. I think it takes a bit of ‘professionalism’ out of the equation.
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:34 AM   #90
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Hmm. It's interesting reading some of the responses on this topic. I suppose I'm glad they aren't terms I tend to use since the reaction to them can be so varied. LOL! When on the receiving end of statements like that, most of the time I don't give it a lot of thought. It will sometimes rub me the wrong way on occasion, but in those cases I think it's an underlying intent that just doesn't feel genuine, natural, etc. On occasion I'll hear it from women considerably younger than myself. That always strikes me as a little bit... curious.
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