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Old 02-25-2008, 07:15 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by Dolce27 View Post
Count me in as another one who's completely is annoyed by it. I feel that it's totally condescending when a stranger refers to me as 'honey' or 'sweetie'. However, I don't get worked up if it's an old person. It's usually the early 20-something servers at restaurants that do this to me a lot and by the end of the meal I'm to the point of not wanting to leave a tip due to my annoyance at them. (Don't worry, I do leave a tip.. but the thought’s there to not.)

It is very disrespectful to refer to someone that you don’t even know in those terms. Normally, those terms are reserved for a significant other (which I don’t have a problem with if a boyfriend was to call me ‘honey’ or ‘sweetie’) or those terms are often used when speaking to children. So, if a stranger begins to refer to me as ‘honey’ then I feel that they are talking down to me as a child and as an adult, that’s disrespectful.

ITA. I can't believe all the people who are insulted by Ma'am - that is specifically a polite term and unless it is being used sarcastically I just don't get why anyone would be upset by it. Being overly familiar with strangers is rude.
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Old 02-25-2008, 07:18 PM   #47
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As a customer in a restaurant I wish I had the courage to tell the waitress not to call me "sweetie" or "honey" or "dear"...but I'm always fearful of unwanted additives in my food so I don't say anything, but I don't like it when they do that.

And I've been a waitress going on 12 years and I would never, ever call any of my customers those "terms of endearment" either. Even our regulars that I banter back and forth with, I would still never call them endearing names. And I don't like my customers calling me "honey" or anything like that either, but again I don't say anything (even though we have name tags that we put on every table we're waiting on so they DO know my name!) because I know it would affect my tip in an adverse way.
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Old 04-17-2010, 10:17 PM   #48
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I don't like it!

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Originally Posted by rgf207 View Post
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. This has been happening more and more to me and I can't stand it.

For example, there is a Taco Bell in the area that I frequent. Everytime this woman hands me my order she always says, There you go "Sweetie" or there you go "Hon"

And just yesterday, I was ordering an iced at McDonalds and the woman called me "Babe"

This bothers me so much. I dont think anyone but my wife should call me that.

Does anyone else hate this?
I live in the south so I know way too many people that do it. I always tell them my name and say I want to be called by my name if you plan to call me anything. My family went to dinner w/ my dad and the waiter called him bud. My dad said my name is Bruce, please don't call me bud. The waiter kept on doing it so finally my dad had enough and said something when the manager walked by but in a tasteful way. The manager then waited on us the remainder of the meal. We are the type of people that if not at Disney we want the waiter to do their jobs and not talk to us unless we need somethng. I used to be a server and a manager so I loved the type of patrons we are but I also didn't call people bud. Keep in mind my dad is a regular at the place. My dad's close friend's name is actually Bud so it had nothing to do with calling him bud but not having enough respect to call him Sir or by his name.
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Old 04-17-2010, 10:28 PM   #49
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I use to have a co-worker who called me "sweetie" all the time. She'd do it EVERY time I talked on the phone with her. She worked at another location. She'd call me that not once on the phone, but at least twice every time. She was a nice person, but it just annoyed me. I was happy when she quit!
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Old 04-17-2010, 10:34 PM   #50
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I used to absolutely abhor this, especially from people my own age or younger. However, my mindset has switched since becoming a nurse in oncology. When my patients are in serious pain, or dying, I do use a honey every now and then when helping them and talking in a low, calm voice. And it is weird, it really helps them feel comforted. I use it sparingly, but when I use it, I am sincere. And it no longer bothers me when others use it with me.
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Old 04-17-2010, 10:42 PM   #51
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I used to absolutely abhor this, especially from people my own age or younger. However, my mindset has switched since becoming a nurse in oncology. When my patients are in serious pain, or dying, I do use a honey every now and then when helping them and talking in a low, calm voice. And it is weird, it really helps them feel comforted. I use it sparingly, but when I use it, I am sincere. And it no longer bothers me when others use it with me.
I agree, when you use it sincerely it can be very comforting. I am from the south and it is so common here and if said in the right tone I think it is delightful, and I really can't believe that people get so upset over it. They think it is condescending, I think they are uptight.

I have a good friend and her hubby in from New Orleans and he honeys and babies everyone, and we love it, He is sincere and loves everyone.
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Old 04-17-2010, 10:45 PM   #52
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Eh, sometimes yes and sometimes no. From DH it's always fine but the outside world, not so much. If it's sweet and friendly I'm ok no matter who the speaker may be. But, if it even hints at flirty or marginalizing (like a workman doing a job for me or any guy trying to maneuver the upper hand for any reason ever) I have been known to fly off the handle. Like I said on another thread, I seriously have said to people's faces, "Maybe you can talk to your mother, daughter, wife or girlfriend like that but I'm not her so don't". Maybe it is harsh, but trying to diminish me is aggressive too and deserves a return shot.

I do use terms of endearment for my family and all of my kids friends but never other adults except for DH... it's too familiar. Boundaries are very important to me.
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Old 04-17-2010, 10:49 PM   #53
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Doesn't bother me. There are lots worse names they could call a person.
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Old 04-17-2010, 10:49 PM   #54
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Eh, sometimes yes and sometimes no. From DH it's always fine but the outside world, not so much. If it's sweet and friendly I'm ok no matter who the speaker may be. But, if it even hints at flirty or marginalizing (like a workman doing a job for me or any guy trying to maneuver the upper hand for any reason ever) I have been known to fly off the handle. Like I said on another thread, I seriously have said to people's faces, "Maybe you can talk to your mother, daughter, wife or girlfriend like that but I'm not her so don't". Maybe it is harsh, but trying to diminish me is aggressive too and deserves a return shot.

I do use terms of endearment for my family and all of my kids friends but never other adults except for DH... it's too familiar. Boundaries are very important to me.
I agree with the workman part, I guess when I think of honey or sweetie and I am thinking about friends or people at stores that I com in contact with, ususally older people than me.
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Old 04-17-2010, 10:53 PM   #55
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I think that "hon" is very regional for here in Maryland. I never call my customers that at all, it is Ma'am, Miss or Ms/Mr Lastname, but I have to admit, I am old enough to be all but one of my co-worker's mother and I call them "hon" sometimes when I am trying to help them out or be comforting. I also find I use it more frequently too on a younger generation than me while in public. My boss calls be "ladybug" sometimes, just a show that we are a little more informal than most at work.
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Old 04-18-2010, 02:43 AM   #56
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I think it is perfectly fine unless it comes from a male co-worker. I found an easy solution and just started calling those men "kitten."
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Old 04-18-2010, 02:58 AM   #57
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It depends on who is saying it.

Two of my professors (both female) call me sweetie. It doesn't bother me.

I've become good at telling who is sincere when they say it and who is being condescending. One of my former co workers used to do it but it drove me nuts because it was always in a very condescending way.
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Old 04-18-2010, 03:01 AM   #58
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Quote:
I used to absolutely abhor this, especially from people my own age or younger. However, my mindset has switched since becoming a nurse in oncology. When my patients are in serious pain, or dying, I do use a honey every now and then when helping them and talking in a low, calm voice. And it is weird, it really helps them feel comforted. I use it sparingly, but when I use it, I am sincere. And it no longer bothers me when others use it with me.
There was a nurse at the hospital that my mom was initially sent to, who was probably approaching 30, who insisted on calling my 66 year old mom honey and sweetie. A lot. Even my dad mentioned it to me, and I finally told her "Her name is Sue; please call her by that, she's not going to respond well to anyone but my dad calling her hun, and noone ever calls her sweetie!" I *do* hope I didn't offend her, but it was just so sickening to hear her use those two normally affectionate terms of endearment by a total stranger...

I call my DH and my DD Honey :D Sometimes if I say "Honey?" They both answer, it's kinda funny. I save Honey for those two; I do use hun for my neice and nephews, and DD's friends. When we moved to our current home, some of her friends were a bit startled when it got to the "hun" point, but they got used to it eventually. Oh! As a matter of fact today (err, yesterday, it's too early in the morning!), I was helping my 3YO nephew get his drink sorted out, and it had started to tip towards him without the lid, and I reached to grab it, calling him a string of names like my DD, other nephew, neice, husband... before I finally got to his name. My dad told me I should've just called him hun, and everyone would have been covered.

I would never use anything for a stranger but ma'am, sir, or something similar personally. I think in my head it almost equates to "I don't wanna bother to remember your name,so I'll just call you [fill in blank]" But of course, that's JMHO, YMMV.
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Old 04-18-2010, 05:00 AM   #59
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OMG...people are dying from starvation, disease, earthquakes, accidents and wars and some of you have the time to be offended when someone calls you Hon, or sweety or dear? Especially in restaurants? I will admit that Babe is a little over the line.

I have found that it is a very regional thing and it is a term of endearment. If you go into the south be prepared to be offended quite a lot. It is used as a friendly, warm greeting. As a northerner I do feel slightly uncomfortable because I am not used to hearing it, but offended? Sorry, I can't think of a thing that is offensive about it.

Know what's offensive...politicians (left or right) that distort the truth in an effort to sway my opinion, con-artists that go after old ladies (and men) and steal there savings, religious "leaders" that beg and plead and frighten the same group to get as much money as they can and Panda's. Panda's offend me by being all black and white and fuzzy, warm and cuddly looking. Uggh!

I have one more thing the offends me and that's people that take the simplest, most innocent things that people say and twist them into something offensive. I believe they have issues that need to be dealt with, don't you?

Political Correctness, without common sense, will eventually destroy us all.
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Old 04-18-2010, 05:29 AM   #60
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eh, it's a regional thing, so it doesn't bother me when people call me "hun" or "sweetie". Just like it doesn't bother me when people from the North East say "you guys". I guess, like anything, it's all in the delivery.
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