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Old 01-25-2008, 04:20 PM   #1
MaryAnnDVC
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Jack & Jill Greenback Bridal Shower..tacky?

We've been invited. And we got the invitation 3 months ago, so it was really hard to say we already have plans.

Have never attended a greenback shower (nor been invited to one), and hoped I would never have to. DH has never been to a shower at all...he is SO thrilled. NOT!

Is there anyone (apparently, yes...the people who invited us) who doesn't think greenback showers are tacky? The invitation might as well have said "You're invited...bring money."

I met the woman once, over 10 years ago at her sister's wedding (with about 300 people)...I assume I met her. The current bride-to-be was supposed to be marrying someone else a couple of years ago. Good thing she called it off before that Greenback Shower.

Her father works in the factory of the business my DH (CFO) works at, and he's invited my DH to his house once or twice a year over the years for incredible lunches (his wife is an awesome cook, apparently), so we kind of feel obligated to go; it's not like this guy is "just an employee", but I only know him and his family from the first wedding I attended. But if we're invited to the shower, I would imagine it's going to be huge...everyone who's invited to the wedding?? I'm sure the food is going to be awesome, but I'm on a diet.

I have no idea how much we're supposed to give. I just sort of picture them opening the envelopes and announcing the amount. (They won't, right?? )

Wonder when the greenback wedding is.
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:26 PM   #2
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Oh...and it's hosted by the parents of the bride.
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:27 PM   #3
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Ack - never heard of this but it is completely tacky!

And to have a shower thrown by the parents - more tacky!
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:30 PM   #4
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I've never heard of a greenback shower! I think it is tacky. I don't know what I would do, my first thought is to decline the invite, but I don't know if that is an option for you. My second thought is bring a gift, just because it says greenback, doesn't mean you have to follow it. Wow, I'm still amazed at the idea of a "bring me money" party.
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:31 PM   #5
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unless this is some regional custom I'm unaware of, this seems beyond tacky to me. even if it is a regional custom, it seems beyond tacky to me.

I have no problem with giving money for the wedding, although I prefer to give a thoughtful gift (tradition in my region), but if I'm close enough to the family to be invited to a shower, then an actual gift for the shower is appropriate. sounds like these people are fishing for cash. tacky tacky tacky!
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:32 PM   #6
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Tacky, tacky, tacky....

Especially since you and your DH aren't close to the bride or groom, I would send my regrets for the shower. For a wedding gift, consider giving a check (in an amount you can afford) since you know that is what the bride and groom really want.

You are not required to attend every event to which you're invited. Even if you have no other plans beyond trimming your toenails, you can say, "I'm sorry, but we have other plans."
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:32 PM   #7
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I've never heard of this. It's a couples shower where you're just supposed to give cash? And you don't even know the couple? OMG! I can't even begin to tell you what I find wrong with this. I can tell you that I wouldn't be going.
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:34 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EthansMom View Post
You are not required to attend every event to which you're invited. Even if you have no other plans beyond trimming your toenails, you can say, "I'm sorry, but we have other plans."
I agree with this. Just because you don't have other plans doesn't mean you have to attend. You just say "I'm sorry, we can't attend."
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Old 01-25-2008, 04:38 PM   #9
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Tacky, tacky, tacky! I'd either decline the invitation or go and just take a "normal" gift.
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Old 01-25-2008, 05:12 PM   #10
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I was invited to one over 30 years ago. It's more of a party than a shower, except that you give money to the couple.
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Old 01-25-2008, 05:15 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EthansMom View Post
I would send my regrets for the shower.
Too late...it's tomorrow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EthansMom View Post
You are not required to attend every event to which you're invited. Even if you have no other plans beyond trimming your toenails, you can say, "I'm sorry, but we have other plans."
I know. I'm SO bad at "lying", especially when it seems obvious 3 months in advance that we most likely don't have plans; I'm a wienie like that. DH feels obligated to go (altho reluctantly) because this guy and his wife invite him for those great lunches a couple of times a year...like hours of course after course of food. We feel like they've been generous with DH (but he never brings me doggy bags! ), so we need to reciprocate. I think the DD may have worked at the company years ago too, but not sure how well DH knows her. I'm not even sure DH remembers that it's tomorrow. I suppose we could forget. Hhmmm. Nah...two tackies don't make a right...or something like that.

OK...DH is home. The father of the bride reminded him it's tomorrow by asking if he knew how to get there. There are going to be 170 - 180 guests. Another co-worker and his wife will be there; I met her at the other wedding and she's very nice and we'll be sitting with them, so that's good. Also, lots of people I never met from DH's company (he's been there almost 20 years), so it could be interesting.

Now if we just hadn't been invited to bring money.
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Old 01-25-2008, 05:24 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryAnnDVC View Post
Oh...and it's hosted by the parents of the bride.
Beyond tacky.
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Old 01-25-2008, 05:30 PM   #13
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I would love to know how the invitations were worded. This is unbelievable!!
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Old 01-25-2008, 05:30 PM   #14
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If you think it's tacky and you don't know the woman well, why didn't you just decline? Sure you got the invite 3 months ago, but there's no rule that says that just because you're available, you have to go. But ... since it's tomorrow, then I'd say you need to figure out how much DH really loves those lunches of course after course and give appropriately.

I don't necessarily think it's any tackier than putting "Bob and Jane are registered at Stores X, Y and Z" on the invitation. Both instances assume you are going to spend a certain amount of money. And I'd much rather hand over cash than have the gift I give be returned or go unused. I'd say, figure out how much you'd have spent on a shower gift if money hadn't been requested, and give them that. You'd have spent the money anyway, right? Who cares if it's in the form of cash or in the form of a toaster?


Last edited by WDSearcher; 01-25-2008 at 06:10 PM.
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Old 01-25-2008, 05:59 PM   #15
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I even refused to do a money dance at my wedding....tacky!
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