Disney Information Station Logo

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Just for Fun > Community Board
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
 
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS UpdatesDIS email updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read





Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 06-27-2007, 06:13 AM   #1
Mkrop
I just cant go on demand
Hi my name is Mkop and I am a cart leaver!
 
Mkrop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Philly Suburbs!!!!
Posts: 10,566

Expessing sympathy to a Jewish family during a family death????

I how that title was ok. Anyway my DB's GF is Jewish and her grandfather died yesterday. We are all Catholic and most of the people I grew up with and know now are Catholic. When someone dies in the Catholic faith, we can send a Mass card, flowers, fruit basket, attend a viewing and the funeral Mass.

What is appropriate for a non Jewish person to do to express their sympathies to her family at this time. I did not know the man, and I only met her parents twice. A sympathy card, fruit basket???? I dont even know what Jewish faith she is, orthodox, reformed although she eats pork so I guess not orthodox, see I dont know.

I do not know a whole lot about the Jewish faith in fact I was thinking about posting a thread asking for some basics so I could understand different things in case my DB decides to pop the question. Maybe I will still do this another day.

Thanks for any help!
__________________
DH Me DS16 : DS11
2002 Contemporary
April -May 2007 Contemporary
June 2008 Contemporary
Dec 2008 Boardwalk Inn
June 2009 Disneyland Hotel and DCA
Jan 2010 DVC Boardwalk Villas
Dec 2010 DVC BLT
July-Aug 2011 Disneyland Park Vue Inn
Dec 2011 DVC BW
July 2012 DVC BC
Dec 2013 DVC AKL/BW
Mkrop is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 06:31 AM   #2
Charade
I'm the one on the LEFT side of my avatar!
Yanno, stooopid shouldn't be that funny
Poop flush, poop flush, poop flush, THEN wipe flush and so on
 
Charade's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 26,095

I would just send a generic (non-religious) sympathy card.
__________________
.
I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.
My idea of going "green" is winning the lottery.
Offsite 97,99,00,01,02,03,04,05,05,06,07,08
Onsite CBR 06,Dolphin 08
Next trip: ????

This siggy approved by SwedishMeatball
.
Charade is offline   Reply With Quote
|
The DIS
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 06-27-2007, 06:38 AM   #3
lowie
DIS Veteran
I got a tootsie pop with no tootsie
 
lowie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Palm Beach, FL.
Posts: 2,182

being that you didn't know the grandfather well, i think that a card would be just fine. for closer friends and relatives, I'll usually send a donation in their family name or fruit/food platter it they are going to sit shiva (mourn)
__________________
Lori (me) Michael (dh) Jordana (dd 18) U.S. Navy Jason (ds11)

And, by the way, I adore you... in frightening and dangerous ways.
lowie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 06:49 AM   #4
Mouse House Mama
Luckiest Mommy in the World!!!
Hello-Buddy the Elf what's your favorite color?!
I wonder if they make pullups for adults
I was not the farter- I was the fartee
 
Mouse House Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: The movie in my mind
Posts: 11,780

Food is always nice to send but make sureit is from a Kosher place in case they are strict about their religion. Another thing I have done for a Jewish friend (I'm Catholic too) was call the local temple and you can have a tree planted in Israel and named for the deceased. She really liked that and it wasn't very expensive.
__________________
I'm a diehard flip flopper!!!
Our Happy Family!!!
DHMEDS DDDS DD DD
Thanks be to God for this indescribable gift....
WL Sept. 2004,Poly June 2005,Poly April 2006 with Grandma & Grandpa, Pop Aug. 2006, WL Dec. 2006, FW Cabins Feb. 2007,AllStar Music Jan. 2008, Poly Aug. 2008,Yacht Club Aug. 2009, Poly Aug. 2009, Pop Aug. 2011, Pop May 2012, All Star Music June 2013, Bonnet Creek July 2013
Mouse House Mama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 06:51 AM   #5
LaraK
A wet monitor is the sign of a classic!
Uh oh...it's the Snarky Purple Fairy..everyone spell check!
Damnit! I AM a good girl!
 
LaraK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Nap Town
Posts: 12,048

If you want to send something, contact a Kosher deli and send a tray to the Shiva house. Another good idea is to make a donation in her grandfather's name to a charity/hospital and they will give you a donation card to send to the family (especially if there is a specific ailment he died of such as cancer, donate to the cancer program at the local hospital)
__________________
Missing my friends...I haven't forgotten, have you?
~~Any statements placed on this thread by said poster (heretofore The Poster) are mearly jesting and should and shall not be considered personal attacks of any posters posting within said thread nor were any posters not on this thread referenced and should, therefore, not consider this to be a personal attack of any nature, intent or thought. Further, no animals were actually harmed in the posting of this post. This poster is an equal opportunity rebutter and will request biting regardless of age, race or religion. Any names or faces represented in this post are fictional and not based on any actual people.~~
LaraK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 07:12 AM   #6
Mkrop
I just cant go on demand
Hi my name is Mkop and I am a cart leaver!
 
Mkrop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Philly Suburbs!!!!
Posts: 10,566

So could I just send a fruit basket froma local florist to her parents house. Fruit is nota problem for Kosher, correct??? I dont know if and where they are sitting shiva, would there be an obit? I have a feeling my brother is not going to be very helpful so I would like to do the appropraite thing. And I just know my mom she is going to call me aand be what do I do. She is even more clueless than me!
__________________
DH Me DS16 : DS11
2002 Contemporary
April -May 2007 Contemporary
June 2008 Contemporary
Dec 2008 Boardwalk Inn
June 2009 Disneyland Hotel and DCA
Jan 2010 DVC Boardwalk Villas
Dec 2010 DVC BLT
July-Aug 2011 Disneyland Park Vue Inn
Dec 2011 DVC BW
July 2012 DVC BC
Dec 2013 DVC AKL/BW
Mkrop is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 07:50 AM   #7
debbi801
DIS Veteran
 
debbi801's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Where the weathermen are often wrong.
Posts: 2,287

A fruit basket would be fine, any type of "food" item delivered to the shiva house is acceptable, but I agree with ensuring it is Kosher, if you're sending "real" food. Cards are fine, provided they are "sorrry for your loss" type cards and not cards that are religious in nature (unless you find one with Hebrew prayers). A donation to a Jewish charity, planting a tree in Israel, or even a donation to their shul in his honor would be very nice. What ever you do, please do not send flowers--to the funeral home, cemetary, or shiva house.

It is very nice that you're wanting to do something.
__________________

1 in 150 children are diagnosed with Autism. One is mine.
debbi801 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 08:19 AM   #8
Mkrop
I just cant go on demand
Hi my name is Mkop and I am a cart leaver!
 
Mkrop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Philly Suburbs!!!!
Posts: 10,566

ok thank you for your replies! I think I will do a fruit basket but I need to wait and find out about where they are sitting shiva???? If this is not at GF's parents house, can I still send it there? That would most likely be the only address we will have. GF and DB live together in an apt.

I did read online about no flowers so thanks for the heads up on that.

Ok I have a sympathy card (DH was suppose to use it for an old boss but I think he forgot ) Anyway is this ok it says on the front:
With Sympathy to You and Your Family
Inside:May it bring comfort to know that many thoughts and prayers are with you.

Is that generic enough?

I really appreciate all this, because I certainly dont want to do anything inappropriate.
__________________
DH Me DS16 : DS11
2002 Contemporary
April -May 2007 Contemporary
June 2008 Contemporary
Dec 2008 Boardwalk Inn
June 2009 Disneyland Hotel and DCA
Jan 2010 DVC Boardwalk Villas
Dec 2010 DVC BLT
July-Aug 2011 Disneyland Park Vue Inn
Dec 2011 DVC BW
July 2012 DVC BC
Dec 2013 DVC AKL/BW
Mkrop is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 09:34 AM   #9
cherylp3
Florida Resident
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Davenport, FL (Orlando Area)
Posts: 4,738

The card should be fine.
__________________
Dreams DO come true!!
Booked on 2008 Member cruise!!

DVC Member Cruise 2003 - 2005 - 2006 - 2007
cherylp3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 09:50 AM   #10
Mkrop
I just cant go on demand
Hi my name is Mkop and I am a cart leaver!
 
Mkrop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Philly Suburbs!!!!
Posts: 10,566

ok now I just talked to my mom and the family is up in the air about when the service is going to be. I thought it had to be right away. The grandfather is being creamated and I dont think they are doing a formal shiva if the GF is planning to go to my aunt's house for a bbq on Sat. She told my mom that they would still make it they(DB and GF) would just come after the service?????

I am confused .

My head hurts, I talked to a florist(I had to send another gift basket to my BFF) after asking all of you and asked what to do and she said a gift basket with just fruit or fruit and sweets. I think at this point I will send the card and then order the basket from my mom, brother and my family and call it a day!
__________________
DH Me DS16 : DS11
2002 Contemporary
April -May 2007 Contemporary
June 2008 Contemporary
Dec 2008 Boardwalk Inn
June 2009 Disneyland Hotel and DCA
Jan 2010 DVC Boardwalk Villas
Dec 2010 DVC BLT
July-Aug 2011 Disneyland Park Vue Inn
Dec 2011 DVC BW
July 2012 DVC BC
Dec 2013 DVC AKL/BW
Mkrop is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 09:54 AM   #11
dolphinrescuegirl
I rather be swimming with dolphins!
Now I know not to drink from a straw
 
dolphinrescuegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Bradenton,FL
Posts: 3,072

I'm just curious but why can't you send flowers?
__________________
Kim 'Girl Who Speak Porpoise'
See my baby whale thread. http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1555782
dolphinrescuegirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 09:55 AM   #12
debbi801
DIS Veteran
 
debbi801's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Where the weathermen are often wrong.
Posts: 2,287

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mkrop View Post
ok now I just talked to my mom and the family is up in the air about when the service is going to be. I thought it had to be right away. The grandfather is being creamated and I dont think they are doing a formal shiva if the GF is planning to go to my aunt's house for a bbq on Sat. She told my mom that they would still make it they(DB and GF) would just come after the service?????

I am confused .

My head hurts, I talked to a florist(I had to send another gift basket to my BFF) after asking all of you and asked what to do and she said a gift basket with just fruit or fruit and sweets. I think at this point I will send the card and then order the basket from my mom, brother and my family and call it a day!
Traditionally, Jewish funerals are held as soon as possible, allowing for loved ones to come in from far distances--usually with in a day or so. But, traditionally, Jews are not creamated either. My grandmother insisted she wanted to be creamated and it was difficult to find a Rabbi to lead the service and she was not allowed to be buried in a Jewish cemetary.

In any case, you would want to send the fruit basket (or fruit and sweets is fine too) to where ever they are sitting.
__________________

1 in 150 children are diagnosed with Autism. One is mine.
debbi801 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 10:33 AM   #13
DizznyChick
Mouseketeer
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 496

i've also read about having a tree planted - i had the link saved
https://secure2.convio.net/jnf/site/...&store_id=3181
DizznyChick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-27-2007, 11:45 AM   #14
ARLO1
DIS Veteran
 
ARLO1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 677

In the jewish religion you dont send flowers. I dont know the exact reasons at the moment but will look it up when i get home.
ARLO1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-28-2007, 02:41 PM   #15
dolphinrescuegirl
I rather be swimming with dolphins!
Now I know not to drink from a straw
 
dolphinrescuegirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Bradenton,FL
Posts: 3,072

Quote:
Originally Posted by ARLO1 View Post
In the jewish religion you dont send flowers. I dont know the exact reasons at the moment but will look it up when i get home.
Did you find the reason. I know nothing about the Jewish faith and I had never heard of the flower thing before.
__________________
Kim 'Girl Who Speak Porpoise'
See my baby whale thread. http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1555782
dolphinrescuegirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
GET OUR DIS UPDATES DELIVERED BY EMAIL



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:29 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright Š 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

You Rated this Thread: