Disney Information Station Logo

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Just for Fun > Coping and Compassion
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 02-11-2007, 08:44 PM   #1
Who needs a birthday for birthday cake?
I'm a nutter butter when it comes to bargains!
whew, now that that insane embarassing moment is over....
anewvance's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Palm Beach County FL
Posts: 3,520

Missing my grandfather & feeling guilty

As you might know, I lost my grandfather almost 2 weeks ago. The man who raised me from birth, the most wonderful man i've ever known. I'm just feeling sad tonight. But also a little guilty because I had a nice weekend.

On Saturday our whole family including my grandmother went to my mom's company picnic. These people put on quite a shindig. And we had a great time, my grandfather would have hated every minute of it, lol. My grandmother handled it pretty well, my mom had asked people not to offer condolenses at the picnic and most people complied.

And today I went shopping without my kids with my sister and got to have dinner at Outback Steakhouse which I had been craving since we'd had it New Years Eve. I felt such pleasure leaving Outback that it immediately made me feel guilty.

Does this feeling ever go away? Is it normal? Thanks for letting me vent.
Melissa - mom to Hannah 12, Julia 11, Ian 8 & Jackson 5
anewvance is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2007, 09:40 PM   #2
I am like HELLO IT IS TEN OCLOCK...Anderson is on

Has a sweetie who is Furbilicious
mommasita's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 19,086
DISboards Moderator

First off, big hugs to you

It is never easy losing someone so close, and so dear. I think the old expression of time, is very true. When I lost my grandmother, it was like my life shattered (was 15). I cried, every little thing reminded me of her, and I cried more...I think you need to grieve, and this is part of the process, at least it was for me..After a while, you don't stop thinking, only you think and smile, and remember something you did, or he did, and you think and smile, and it does become less painful. It really does It never hurts as much as it does right now..

You have your family, and that won't erase the old memories, only make them more dear. Very often I think that my grandmother would have went crazy having fun with my kids. I am 37, so that makes 22 years she is gone, and I still think the way, but as I said, with a smile..

Everyone goes through their own grieving, and I think it is important to do so..

I hope I did not ramble too much.

Be proud, as he is proud of you.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
mommasita is offline   Reply With Quote
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 02-12-2007, 07:00 AM   #3
I was very excited to see how yummy it looks!
You can do what we do and go to BOTH!
I could have been contender.... instead, I'm just itchy
TruBlu's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 10,682

I think it is wonderful that you were able to slip away from your sadness for a little while. Never feel guilty! You know your Grandfather wouldn't want you to do that!
2006-CSR 2007-POP, SSR 2008, 2009-POFQ 2010-Christmas with Mickey at AKL 2013-AKL
Me (Tracey) DH DS13 DS11

"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate." -Captain Jack Sparrow

TruBlu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2007, 07:54 AM   #4
Mackey Mouse
Me read the Navigator? I don't think so

tsk, tsk said in my best Bahsten accent

Tommy made Flubber
Mackey Mouse's Avatar
Join Date: May 2000
Location: MA
Posts: 17,397
DISboards Moderator

I think that your Grandfather would have loved that you had a bit of fun since he passed away....Hugs to you, remember each day is a gift and we need to live our lives without guilt, going for the gusto, never having regrets....I am sure you do not regret your life with him and he would want you to look towards the future and live your life.. he lived his.. Cherish your Grandmother and enjoy your life.

I never felt guilty, I always missed the loved ones I have lost, but I never felt guilty...don't do that to yourself...remember the good times.
Mackey Mouse, Are you a Tigger or an Eeyore?

Co-Moderator Restaurant Boards
Moderator, Coping and Compassion Board

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -Albert Einstein
Mackey Mouse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2007, 01:00 AM   #5
DIS Cast Member
hey! I've got two college degrees and a steady job. if I wanna watch mindless TV, so what?
DIS Official Rum Taster
I used to be in the all-natural camp.
minkydog's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: North GA
Posts: 16,515

I think it's pretty common to feel guilty in a situation like that, but you need to know: it's false guilt. You did nothing wrong, but somehow it just "feels wrong" to be having fun when you loved one has recently died. I'm sure your grandfather wouldn't have looked at it that way, but we feel what we feel. It will probably happen again, but just because you feel guilty, doesn't mean you ARE guilty of wrong-doing.

I'm glad you were able to go out and have a little fun. You've been so worried. Give yourself permission to grieve at your own pace. Eventually, your emotions will settle down and life will go on, differently of course, but it will go on.
Never underestimate the determination of the mother with a handicapped child
minkydog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-25-2007, 01:41 PM   #6
Mouseketeer? hah! Princess!
mhf's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 278

After my grandmother died in 1994, a friend told my DH "let her grieve in her own way, on her own timeline"

Best advice he ever got and now I'm passing it to you! You are the only one who can tell what is normal for you. I believe we are allowed to be selfish about this.


Offsite 1979, 2012, 2014
Dolphin 2014, POFQ 2005
Swan 2007, 2009, 2011, 2012
mhf is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:04 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.