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Old 11-15-2006, 07:24 PM   #16
safetymom
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Cherry, I am so sorry for your loss. After my husband passed away my sister decided it was time for a family trip to WDW. It was the best thing we could have done. It gave us a chance to forget about the real world for awhile.

The days get softer, but there will still be those days his passing is very hard to bear.
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Old 11-16-2006, 07:41 PM   #17
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Carolyn, I decided maybe I didn't want to be in one of the parks on New Year's Eve. I am considering sitting on the beach at the Polynesian and watching the fireworks from a distance. My son lives in Tampa, and he is going to come to WDW to spend New Year's Eve with us.

I thought I might enjoy doing something low key. I may be sorry, as it may give me too much time to think.
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Old 11-17-2006, 11:19 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherry
Carolyn, I decided maybe I didn't want to be in one of the parks on New Year's Eve. I am considering sitting on the beach at the Polynesian and watching the fireworks from a distance. My son lives in Tampa, and he is going to come to WDW to spend New Year's Eve with us.

I thought I might enjoy doing something low key. I may be sorry, as it may give me too much time to think.
FWIW, I think the quiet while still surrounded by such a cherished place you had together will be good. No amount of distraction can pull us away from thoughts of loved ones lost, especially such emotional moments as the stroke of midnight on NYE. Besides, if you suddenly crave more noise and/or activity, it will be only a monorail ride away, no?
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Old 11-17-2006, 11:39 AM   #19
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I'm so glad you're going to WDW. As a previous poster said, avoiding disney World won't help you avoid the pain and it sounds like it might actually help with your healing.

My DH has chronic illness which has been up & down. LIttle bylittle the activities he once enjoyed (hiking, singing,yardwork)have all slipped away. However, he can still do disney and we go about once a year. He says when he dies he wants his ashes discreetly dumped at EPCOT so the kids will be sure to come see him Not sure if one can actually do that, but we'll see...

Hope ya'll have a great time on your trip.
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Old 11-17-2006, 08:28 PM   #20
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I want to send hugs and encouragement to the ladies who have lost their DH's.

I was widowed at a young age (suddenly) and had two DD's who had just started grades 9 and 12 two weeks before. Jen had just celebrated her 15th birthday the week before Mike passed on.

I will not hide the fact that the first trip down to WDW afterwards was very hard. We of course love WDW so much and I thought we needed to get away. It is bittersweet. Painful yet comforting. To this day there is always the feeling that Mike is close by, especially when we are at his most favorite place.

We had booked a Disney Cruise and decided to still set sail only two months after we lost him. With the love, help and support of dear friends who decided to come along, we did enjoy ourselves and eased the pain just a tiny bit. Thank you Marsha and Tommy ... I can still see that beautiful rainbow across the sky at sailaway....it was our beloved Mike letting me know he was there in spirit.
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Old 11-18-2006, 06:54 PM   #21
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Cherry, I completely respect your decision to stay somewhere quiet on NYE. It was a really touch choice for us too. In the end we have opted to go to Epcot, but only because our tradition is either MK or The Studios, so this is different. It is also the place where my DS Simon and his partner Tam met while working for Disney, so we will try to focus on that. Like you though we don't know whether we have made the correct choice, and would prefer some quiet family time. I guess we won't know until we're there.
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Old 11-18-2006, 07:41 PM   #22
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It is a hard decision to make about going and when to go, but I know that when Carol and her daughters went on the cruise that Tom and I were there for them.....their family as well and we had some smiles, a few tears, but most of all made some wonderful memories.. I will treasure these memories......

I am not sure what I will feel or if I have to feel, I hate even thinking that, about our favorite place, WDW, without Tom. We bought DVC last year and we were going for it, living the dream, and just enjoying his retirement and his feeling well. Now, we start again, but we are going in December and hopefully he will feel well enough to enjoy some things and know enough to come back to the room and rest when he needs it...
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Old 11-18-2006, 09:24 PM   #23
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Sometimes as you know you need to take life minute by minute. Sometimes you take one step forward and two steps back.

It also seemed for me and other friends who were widows it wasn't "that" day that was the hardest but several days later when you let your guard down. That is when it hit me that my husband wasn't there anymore.
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Old 11-19-2006, 01:07 AM   #24
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Safetymom, I think I know what you mean about it not being "that day" but several days later. I have told a lot of my friends that it's not the big things that get me, but the little ones. I can get myself geared up to handle my first birthday without him, the family reunion that he's not there for, things like that. They are tough, but I get myself ready for it ahead, and it's okay. What I have trouble with are the little things that just pop up -- a man who looks like him in the distance, a couple our age walking into the store holding hands -- even watching a silly Adam Sandler movie and hearing a song about growing old together, those are the things that catch me by surprise, and set me off for a little while.

This board helps a lot, just having some place to talk about it with people who are going through the same thing.
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Old 11-19-2006, 06:27 AM   #25
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HUgs Cherry......I hear ya... we are here for you.. Just to listen, send hugs or whatever you need from the Dis family... we are here.
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Old 11-19-2006, 08:37 AM   #26
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Cherry, I agree with Mackey. Talk away, it real does help. I still have those moments and it has been 12 years for me.

I know I am going to have a lot of those moments when my daughter delivers her first baby next month. My late husband would be so thrilled to be a grandfather. This will be our first grandchild. I will be thrilled and sad at the same time.
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