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Old 03-20-2006, 05:34 PM   #1
IlluminationsUK
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Thread on the CB has really got me mad!

Just finished reading this thread over at the Community Board http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1059477 and it made me so mad.

I refrained from posting on the actual thread because it quickly degenerated into a religious debate but does anyone here actually believe that being gay is a lifestyle? For me, it's not a lifestyle - it's my life.

Just needed to vent a bit, thank goodness for this board, it's so nice to have somewhere safe to be ourselves on the DIS!
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Old 03-20-2006, 05:40 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IlluminationsUK
Just needed to vent a bit, thank goodness for this board, it's so nice to have somewhere safe to be ourselves on the DIS!
Actually, what is so cool about the web is that it is (almost) always safe even when people are calling you names! My advice is to remain calm and respond calmly and rationally for as long as you wish, then ignore it. One thing to understand is that you are unlikely to ever change any serious partisan's mind on an issue, but if you are calm and clear, you might have an impact on bystanders.

I am a bit bored by the thread, but 5 pages into it, it seems as most people are supportive.

/carmi

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Old 03-20-2006, 06:28 PM   #3
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I agree with Majortom. I have read the entire thread and have found many to be supportive and the ones that are not are the same people that are always throwing religion out there. I think once a thread becomes where they are not having the debate back and forth they start a new one to get things going again.

We have some very supportive people on this board and I for one have decided I am not going to get involved in a debate and keep such unfriendly and gay bashing threads going.
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Old 03-20-2006, 06:49 PM   #4
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As I told Rick in a PM, in my five years here that was the first thread I've ever had to stop posting on because it actually had me in tears. Maybe that's a cop-out on my part, but I literally couldn't take it anymore. I had typed out so many bannable-responses and deleted them; but honestly my restraint wasn't going to hold out much longer-- and I certainly would've lost my credibility after that. I actually had my ds10 read some of the responses on that thread, and even he wanted to know why "some people think it's bad to be gay?" If a 10 yr. old boy gets it, why can't everybody else?

I hope I don't come across as patronizing, but I'm so genuinely sorry for all the hurtful comments being directed at the GLBTG community. So very, very sorry.
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Old 03-20-2006, 07:34 PM   #5
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I've been reading the posts too and it's taken a major amount of self-control not to reply. I'm Catholic and I'm thankful that I hear a quite different message when I go to Mass on Sunday - Gays and Lesbians are full participants every week ... but maybe we read a different bible! It's frustrating to see that some posters seem to choose to take the bible literally when it suits their own agenda but ignore the sections that dispute their beliefs. But I am thankful that once again the positives outway the negatives - Kim, thank you for all your posts and for all the others that see the 'light'. The CSPs are great people!!! And I would like to thank Pete for giving us this board so we can all talk and feel safe.

Well, a friend just left and we had a bit of wine so now I'll try to behave and not go over to the CB and read any more of those posts. But I have to admit that it would be fun to get them going!
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Old 03-20-2006, 08:55 PM   #6
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To me there is nothing worse than a closed minded bigot. But I guess everyone is entitled to thier own beliefs and opinions.

I agree with ya Saxton, it's sure be fun to see some conservative feathers fly...LOL
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Old 03-20-2006, 09:29 PM   #7
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I had to reply to the thread, #392 there.

"Why am I Gay ?"

What they don't get, is it implies some blame somewhere.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH !

I would rather debate about which is better, A Mickey Ice Cream Bar or the Toll House Ice Cream Cookie.

Either way, I'm a pig and it is gone too quickly.
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Old 03-20-2006, 09:40 PM   #8
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Kim, I'm so sorry you were driven to tears. Sanctimonious refusal to acknowledge your dignity can be frightfully hurtful. I think it helps to picture the "antis" in long papal robes holding quill pens at a big wooden tables as they would have 600 years ago. They are from a different subculture with a completely different set of values. Even though they do have an unfortunate influence on public policy, there is a sense in which their views should not be taken at all personally (kind of like cultures that sacrifice animals to the gods). There is no getting through to them, but their views are rapidly being overshadowed by those of people who are open to change. Just as the Catholic church is infuriating but increasingly irrelevant (or at least its strictest teachings are), so are the views of the most stalwart fundamentalists on that board. Here's what I just posted over there, FWIW:

Many on this thread have argued that no one in his or her right mind would choose to be gay. While I would never have chosen it as a young person, I now experience it as a great gift, and would not make a change if I had the choice. Living as an outsider teaches you compassion toward others who are disenfranchised, causes you to be open-minded and question conventionality and authority (including religious authority), makes you aware of everyone's right to live authentically, heightens your attunement to justice, teaches you to use your anger productively (lest it consume you), forces you to live as an anthropologist who recognizes that different subcultures always have and always will espouse different values, and provides enormous fellowship in the company of like-minded freethinkers and sexual libertarians, many of whom are the most creative, funny, radically accepting and brilliant (because they have allowed themselves to think outside the box) people you could ever hope to meet.

Despite the continued persecution of those who dare to embrace their homosexuality, I suspect most people would rather be trapped on a desert island with five randomly selected, "out" gay men than five randomly selected straight people who are certain homosexuality is a sin. But that's an untested proposition.

I believe that most objections to homosexual relationships are rooted in religious conviction and/or conventional mores that we have all been exposed to (and that many are now educating themselves out of), but that in some intransigent cases the objections signify a failure of self-acceptance and a fear of both authority and the consequences of daring authenticity. I also believe that aversion to homosexuality (male and female) is deeply rooted in misogyny.
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Old 03-20-2006, 10:16 PM   #9
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I was an active participant in that thread. The experience was painful at times, but also uplifting. It is wonderful that there are so many heterosexual allies who are willing to stand with us and clearly state that anti-gay bigotry is wrong. The thread also presented the quintessential "teachable moment" and allowed people to ask questions and for the glbt community and its supporters to respond and educate.

Thank you to all who stood up for fairness, understanding, and equality.
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Old 03-20-2006, 10:49 PM   #10
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I DESPISE when people refer to "alternative lifestyles" or just call being gay or bisexual a lifestyle. My lifestyle is no different than any other elementary school teacher in the U.S. It's so ignorant and baffoonish to refer to gayness as a lifestyle. Blah.

Can you tell it erks me? hehe
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Old 03-20-2006, 11:28 PM   #11
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I participated in the thread- but I realize that people like Joe are never going to change, just like no one is ever going to change my mind that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay; no one will change my mind that God made us all who we are, and loves us. No one will change my mind that I would rather see people in love, gay or straight, than see people condoning and teaching hate and intolerance.

So, I decided to stop reading the thread. I know it's not a choice, no more than I chose to be straight (I didn't) or I chose to be a girl (also didn't choose that one). I know that Joe will lead his life thinking he's doing right by God, and eventually he'll find out otherwise. I know that when I have children, I will raise them to respect people as individuals and hearts, not sexualities. I will teach them that families come in all sorts of different combinations, and that love makes a family, not just a mommy and daddy. If my child is gay or a lesbian, I will love him or her with every fiber of my being, just like I would if he/she was straight because it's my CHILD.

And I will teach my children that people like Joe, and all the other intolerant fools out there just aren't worth our time or energy.
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Old 03-21-2006, 12:03 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyDee
I DESPISE when people refer to "alternative lifestyles" or just call being gay or bisexual a lifestyle. My lifestyle is no different than any other elementary school teacher in the U.S. It's so ignorant and baffoonish to refer to gayness as a lifestyle. Blah.

Can you tell it erks me? hehe

I was thinking the same thing and it's not a lifestyle...now living like a rich person is a lifestyle, (WHICH MEANS: and ex {A way of life or style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or group: “It was a millionaire's lifestyle on the pocketbook of a hairdresser” } )

I hate when people refer to us as a choice or a lifestyle, it's like we went shopping around for a way to be different and this is the best we could come up with to piss off the masses. I love my g/f more than anything and I would not trade my life for anything. She's my heart and nothing or nobody can take that from me.
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Old 03-21-2006, 12:12 AM   #13
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Hmm..my "lifestyle" is hauling myself out of my warm bed next to my warm sweetie every morning and dragging myself to the gym and then to work for 10+ hours. Then it's home for dinner with my love, a walk with the dog, some tv/internet time and then back to bed to get as much sleep as possible inbetween the nightly cat fights.

The weekends, my "lifestyle" allows me to sleep a little longer and spend a bit more time with my love, fixing up the house, running exciting errands to Target and the grocery store and long hikes in the hills with the dog.

<sarcasm>Oh ya..real different "lifestyle" than a straight married couple leads. Can't you just see the constant sex and debauchery?!</sarcasm>

I'm lesbian. I've always been lesbian and I always will be lesbian. It's not something I can change or want to change, it's just one part of who I am.
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Old 03-21-2006, 12:59 AM   #14
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I stopped reading that thread.... Some ppl are as responsive as shouting at a brick wall...

Well I guess it goes along with other threads that tick me off like resort superiority, mug refills, and so on.... ALL the 'crazies' come out and post there nonsense theories... Which on this particular thread was beating the love of Jesus into gay ppl will make them straight...

As I said when I posted on the thread... the only ppl who have a strong vested interest in bashing gay/lesbian ppl are ppl who have skeletons in their closet to begin with.
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Old 03-21-2006, 12:59 AM   #15
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I'm a heterosexual woman who has been on the DIS for 5+ years. That thread and the Brokeback one combined made me put posters on "ignore" for the first time. I don't hang around with bigots in RL, so why should I on the net?
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