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Old 09-06-2013, 09:19 AM   #136
Colleen27
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Originally Posted by crisi View Post
From a budget board standpoint, the only issue that is implied is that her emergency fund was not large enough for the unseen expenses involved in having your boyfriend beat you and getting yourself safe. I think that is falling under "budgetary misdemeanors" and I wouldn't sweat it. To pay for the trip in full, the only thing that is required is she skips some planned table service, skips souvenirs and avoids up charges on the cruise - big whoop - that's what the trips of 80% of the people here are like....but you can't win around here, if you post that you've saved up enough money to take a trip and keep your emergency fund untouched - even though the washer broke last week you were able to replace that money into your emergency fund without touching your trip funds, you are accused of stealth bragging.
No kidding! Some of the posters here are the most rigid, black-and-white thinkers I've ever met - if you don't have a sizable emergency fund, fully funded retirement and college accounts, no debt (except mortgage... a 200K mortgage is fine, but a $200 credit card balance is terrible!), and iron-clad job security, you shouldn't be vacationing. But God forbid you sound too proud of having accomplished all of that!

There's a lot of good advice in between the extremes, but some of the extremes just leave me shaking my head at times.

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Originally Posted by NHTikiBeckie View Post
Yes you do, and it isn't really a money saver at all anymore either. We crunched the numbers and it was easily cheaper to eat without it.
Besides, it is a terrible idea if you're going to be spending time on the "dark side" at Universal because you've paid for meals at WDW but will certainly also want some meals elsewhere. It is really only worth doing if it is free, or if you are only doing Disney and fit a pretty specific set of eating habits that would maximize the value of the plan without deliberate effort.
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Old 09-06-2013, 09:45 AM   #137
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I've read all the posts and wanted to chime in to say I hope you and your kids have a fabulous time, I'm glad you decided to go. I think that you will easily be able to afford food with the suggestions posted. We always take snacks, like everywhere we go and that helps tremendously.

I would also encourage you to stay strong and seek help. Stay far away from this man. Things will only get worse. GL and big hugs.
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Old 09-06-2013, 10:06 AM   #138
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I do agree with this, I had not thought to ask if you had been to see a doctor to make sure that there is nothing else wrong. Also, if you are pressing charges against him, will it be okay that you are traveling so close to the incident? Just wondering if there will be any issues or doubt about the injuries, therefore not helping your case (unless you had already had photographs of your injuries taken and filed with the police) I believe that is procedure when a report is made for domestic violence to begin with.

Iif you are in any sort of pain at all while you are there, I would possibly think about skipping any kind of bumping or fast type of ride. Adding injury to injury can end up being serious.

Again, good luck and take care of yourself.
Generally (and I stress generally, every place is different) is she presses charges, the first thing they will do is actually pick him up and arrest him. Once she presses charges she doesn't have to be in the city for them to arrest him. Now she may want to leave a phone number just in case there are some additional questions. Now you don't have to have injuries for a file a domestic abuse charge (I can't remember if op had any or not).
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Old 09-06-2013, 11:56 AM   #139
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I hope you have a wonderful time-stay focused on your children and thye experieince you are having and try to keep all the negative things out of your head while you are there.
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Old 09-06-2013, 12:44 PM   #140
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I hope you and your kids have a great time away and can just immerse yourselves in the magic for a few days.
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Old 09-06-2013, 12:47 PM   #141
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61

Generally (and I stress generally, every place is different) is she presses charges, the first thing they will do is actually pick him up and arrest him. Once she presses charges she doesn't have to be in the city for them to arrest him. Now she may want to leave a phone number just in case there are some additional questions. Now you don't have to have injuries for a file a domestic abuse charge (I can't remember if op had any or not).
Yes I have visible injuries .. I'm actually really upset about that. I never had a scar on my face until now . My leg is still blue where he kicked me with the strength of a horse . The nails mark on my neck are pretty much gone . The police took pictures of everything and I took additional photos ...they're stored in a photobucket account . He still hasn't been arrested and I'm not surprised I was told by a friend it takes awhile because they have other priorities like finding rapists/murderors etc.
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Old 09-06-2013, 12:53 PM   #142
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Originally Posted by crystaldawn
I've read all the posts and wanted to chime in to say I hope you and your kids have a fabulous time, I'm glad you decided to go. I think that you will easily be able to afford food with the suggestions posted. We always take snacks, like everywhere we go and that helps tremendously.

I would also encourage you to stay strong and seek help. Stay far away from this man. Things will only get worse. GL and big hugs.
Thank you..yes I am staying far away from him. I am so glad I did not give in and respond to his apology letter. I almost did...I so wanted to ask him why did he cheat on me and lie to me if he loved me ...but than I felt it was such an asanine stupid thing to ask considering he just brutally beat me up and for me to be more concerned about the cheating. I'm glad I just gave it to the detective and didn't respond. If I would've responded I know he would've sucked me back in and I would've ultimately dropped the charges.
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Old 09-06-2013, 01:16 PM   #143
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You will probably not want to do TS meals. DS was worried about "wasting time" waiting for TS meals when we were there with him. Lol. You should be fine with $400. The past 8 months have been horrible for us (completely different situation) and sometimes you just need to get away! Set a small amount for each child to get souvenirs and help them find something in their price range. Hope you have a wonderful time.
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Old 09-06-2013, 01:26 PM   #144
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Congratulations on your trip. Even more congratulations on your determination! Go on your trip and enjoy the things that matter most--Your children. Think of your good times with them. Let him be history and don't let him rent space in your day or your mind. Stay strong and don't back down. You will have plenty of money for your trip so go and enjoy! Then tell us all about how much fun you had.
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Old 09-06-2013, 03:52 PM   #145
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Originally Posted by BlueIvy View Post
Yes I have visible injuries .. I'm actually really upset about that. I never had a scar on my face until now . My leg is still blue where he kicked me with the strength of a horse . The nails mark on my neck are pretty much gone .
Once the open wounds have healed, I would recommend Arnica. Cream or even the pellets; it helps with healing. Works REALLY well on bruises, so get it on your leg asap.


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I almost did...I so wanted to ask him why did he cheat on me and lie to me if he loved me ...but than I felt it was such an asanine stupid thing to ask considering he just brutally beat me up and for me to be more concerned about the cheating.
I'm so glad you didn't respond. The answer to that question is truly impossible. Most people will just lie. Or if they don't lie, it's either bewildering or devastating. I'm pretty sure that my dad still "loved" my mom while he was doing what he was doing. It's just that the definition of "love" isn't what anyone should think of as love. Something gets twisted somewhere in some peoples' minds, and it's impossible for others to really comprehend. So ultimately the answer is useless, and I'm so glad you didn't ask.

And...what you said at the end there, "I know he would've sucked me back in and I would've ultimately dropped the charges"....that's another reason "intimate terrorism" (the newer word for "domestic violence", according to an old friend who works to fight it) gets a lower attention rate from the police. Because so many people DO go back and DO drop the charges. And then the more people that do that, the more cynical the police get, and the more likely they are to assume that the *next* person will drop the charges as well.

I'm glad that you know yourself and know what to do to keep that from happening.

My mom has since passed away, but to the end if she heard this one particular song she would shudder in horror, because it was the song my dad would play as he sweet talked her back into his life. He wouldn't be there to do that IF the cops had ever actually arrested him, of course (she would NOT have dropped the charges), but they never did, so he was around to do that.

Good for you.



I also wanted to mention that while some are focusing on "she saved for that long and ended up with 1K", but that's not true, is it? Haven't you said something about the trip having ALREADY cost 5K? So you saved for that long and got 6K. Which is pretty darned good.
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Old 09-06-2013, 05:55 PM   #146
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I have nothing else to add because you've already gotten such wonderful advice. I will say that you are such a strong woman, and I hope that you have a speedy recovery from all of your injuries. I'm so glad you decided to go on your vacation. Go and have fun. Enjoy spending time with your kids! Hearing about how excited they are brought a smile to my face, and I'm sure you and your kids are going to make some wonderful memories. You deserve to get away for awhile. Have a fun, safe, and relaxing trip!
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Old 09-06-2013, 06:41 PM   #147
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First of all, I'm so so sorry this happened to you.

Second, I haven't read all the responses so these may have been suggested already, but just a few budget-saving tips off the top of my head:

1. Water is free at all locations
2. A few of the quick service places have really good toppings bars. I've made salads at Cosmic Rays and Pecos Bill and then shared the fries with my boyfriend when we've gone on a budget.
3. Maybe grab some snacks from the dollar store before you leave. You'll have lots of munchies that won't cost a lot and sometimes they have things like Disney-themed gummies or whatnot

Good luck to you, I really hope you all have a wonderful trip and show that jerk that you're much stronger than he thinks.
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Old 09-06-2013, 08:08 PM   #148
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bumbershoot View Post
Once the open wounds have healed, I would recommend Arnica. Cream or even the pellets; it helps with healing. Works REALLY well on bruises, so get it on your leg asap.




I'm so glad you didn't respond. The answer to that question is truly impossible. Most people will just lie. Or if they don't lie, it's either bewildering or devastating. I'm pretty sure that my dad still "loved" my mom while he was doing what he was doing. It's just that the definition of "love" isn't what anyone should think of as love. Something gets twisted somewhere in some peoples' minds, and it's impossible for others to really comprehend. So ultimately the answer is useless, and I'm so glad you didn't ask.

And...what you said at the end there, "I know he would've sucked me back in and I would've ultimately dropped the charges"....that's another reason "intimate terrorism" (the newer word for "domestic violence", according to an old friend who works to fight it) gets a lower attention rate from the police. Because so many people DO go back and DO drop the charges. And then the more people that do that, the more cynical the police get, and the more likely they are to assume that the *next* person will drop the charges as well.

I'm glad that you know yourself and know what to do to keep that from happening.

My mom has since passed away, but to the end if she heard this one particular song she would shudder in horror, because it was the song my dad would play as he sweet talked her back into his life. He wouldn't be there to do that IF the cops had ever actually arrested him, of course (she would NOT have dropped the charges), but they never did, so he was around to do that.

Good for you.



I also wanted to mention that while some are focusing on "she saved for that long and ended up with 1K", but that's not true, is it? Haven't you said something about the trip having ALREADY cost 5K? So you saved for that long and got 6K. Which is pretty darned good.

Omg...he just sent me another apology via his friend Its starting to weigh heavily on me.. Im just going to block the whole situation out of my mind. I leave in the morning..Im still packing.. I will have no cellphone service onboard (a blessing i can truly escape) .

The lunchables my kids wanted as a treat went on sale today ... instead of $3.99 each they were 2 for $4.00 .

I bought the mugs we would need. Im pretty much all set . My grandfather gave me $100 to go towards the trip I'm going to use it for any extras my kids might want. I don't need anything extra. I'm going to be happy just being able to escape. Im bringing plenty of books. I plan on reading and relaxing and getting snorkel gear for castaway cay...thats my one and only splurge for myself
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Old 09-06-2013, 08:12 PM   #149
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Omg...he just sent me another apology via his friend Its starting to weigh heavily on me.. Im just going to block the whole situation out of my mind. I leave in the morning..Im still packing.. I will have no cellphone service onboard (a blessing i can truly escape) .

The lunchables my kids wanted as a treat went on sale today ... instead of $3.99 each they were 2 for $4.00 .

I bought the mugs we would need. Im pretty much all set . My grandfather gave me $100 to go towards the trip I'm going to use it for any extras my kids might want. I don't need anything extra. I'm going to be happy just being able to escape. Im bringing plenty of books. I plan on reading and relaxing and getting snorkel gear for castaway cay...thats my one and only splurge for myself
Stay strong and have a great trip with your kids
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Old 09-06-2013, 08:50 PM   #150
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Omg...he just sent me another apology via his friend Its starting to weigh heavily on me.. Im just going to block the whole situation out of my mind. I leave in the morning..Im still packing.. I will have no cellphone service onboard (a blessing i can truly escape) .

Is there a restraining order against him? If so, wouldn't these apologies break it? Tell the police officer about it.

If you even think of possibly forgiving him, remember how it felt when he scratched you, kicked you and hit you in the face. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you want to have that or worse happen to you again. Think about your children, they should never have someone like that in their lives.

HE IS NO GOOD, nothing he can ever say can make things right again. He is not the man you thought he was, he killed that guy when he cheated on you and beat you up.

Change your cell number (give the new one to the police) and change your email addresses.
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