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Old 09-04-2013, 10:20 PM   #61
BernardandMissBianca
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Go on the trip. The kids need some time away just as much as you do.
The budget is doable as long as you are careful.
I suggest bringing a small notebook just to keep tabs on the money you spend.
I'd also only take a certain amount into the parks every day and leave the rest locked in the safe in your room or keep it in a separate compartment in your purse. That way there is no chance of overspending.

Check allears.net for menus and pricing(at Disney), that will give you an idea on meal costs.
One of my favorite meals at WDW is the 1/2 rotisserie chicken at Cosmic Rays. It's $10 but it could very well feed all three of you. I usually split it with one of my boys.

Good luck OP, I hope everything gets resolved soon and you and the kids can move forward.
Please come back and tell us how your trip went.
I hope you all have a great time and make wonderful memories!
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Old 09-04-2013, 10:21 PM   #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueIvy View Post
Wow...at all the rude responses calling me a liar and a scam artist. I haven't asked anyone for a penny nor would I accept any handouts. I provided details of my assault because I still think about it constantly . I don't have any support system. When my mom learned I was assaulted she didn't even bother to call me until the next day. I refused to pick up the phone when I finally did talk to her she blamed me and said I deserved it for going through his phone and called me a drama queen when I told her I was pressing charges. My brother refused to come over to help protect me just in case he came back. He said he didn't care and it's my fault. I shouldn't have touched his phone.

I don't have any friends. Not even one . I'm an introvert and I find social situations to be excruciating so I have no friends. It's just me and my two kids.

He never hit me with his hands prior to that night he beat me. He did call me names sometimes ....and in general he could be very disrespectful but I never imagined he'd beat the crap out of me.

I'm not a liar . I just wanted advice/support. He was my boyfriend we did not live together. He never had a key to my apartment .
I'm sorry you don't have better family support. That makes it so much harder to deal with everything. I would strongly suggest seeking out a support group through a woman's organization when you get home, to help you process it all and to connect with other people who understand. I'm a big-time introvert myself, but I've found it to be absolutely essential to sort of push past that in certain situations in order to form some connections with others.

It is good to hear that you weren't living with your boyfriend or otherwise financially entangled to the point of having a hard time leaving. That makes a bad situation a little less bad - at least you don't have to think about how to afford the apartment on your own or worry about him cleaning out joint accounts or anything like that.

If I were in your shoes, I would take the trip and make a point of letting the police and your landlord/property manager know you're going to be gone. If you have an alarm system, be sure to set it too. Since your ex knows your trip dates, he might think it is safe to come around while you're gone and it could be a chance for the police to arrest him.
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Old 09-04-2013, 10:32 PM   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shelly F - Ohio View Post
She stated she is not able to get refunds because she leaves in a few days! If she does not go on her trip she said she would be out $5000 she has already paid.

So she needs our help to guide her though this vacation.
OP - can you double check and make sure you did not purchase trip insurance?
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Old 09-04-2013, 10:47 PM   #64
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Please understand that some people have a hard time trusted things posted on websites due to all the scam artists out there.

However, if what you posted is in fact true....dear G*d in heaven I hope you are ok and I hope that jerk is caught and punished to the fullest extent of the law.

Take the vacation, clear your head and enjoy your precious children.

Stay safe.
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Old 09-04-2013, 11:03 PM   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueIvy View Post
. He was my boyfriend we did not live together. He never had a key to my apartment .

I wouldn't count on that. You were with him for 8 months. He had access to your keys. He could have easily made a copy of your housekey without your knowledge.

You need to:

Change ALL locks

Change ALL passwords

Change you phone number

GO TO COURT AND GET AN ORDER OF PROTECTION

Let your job know you had a bad breakup in the event he goes there looking for info on you or calling there with stories about you.

Let you landlord know you're going away and NO ONE is to have access to your apartment for ANY reason regardless of what they claim. Give the LL a way to contact you while you're gone (email, text, phone)

No matter how much he or his mother cries to you about how "sorry" he is or that he'll never bother you again, you STILL HAVE TO PURSUE CHARGES AGAINST HIM. If you don't, he WILL come after you again. He will also abuse other women in the future.

You have to stay strong in this, get your protective order, and pursue the charges. It's doubtful you will have to testify in court ---- he'll probably cop a plea. All you have to do is stay in touch with the District Attorney and be sure he is prosecuted!!! (I don't get why the cops haven't arrested him yet???? Didn't you tell them where he's staying and where he works and what kind of car he drives????)
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Old 09-04-2013, 11:14 PM   #66
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You've gotten lots of good advice already, so all I wanted to say was have a good time on the trip with your kids. There's no way I would allow him to interfere with your highly anticipated Disney trip with your kids. It sounds like it's exactly what you need right now. Enjoy the pampering & special time with your little ones.
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Old 09-04-2013, 11:15 PM   #67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCDiane View Post
n.

I could go on and on and on, but you get it. "orders of protection" weren't available in those days. Today, it's different. CALL THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE NOW and find out where you can get help. If this piece of sh!t did this to you over HIS cheating, he will absolutely do it again and may even kill you or your childrent.
So very much yes.

I was a kid in the situation, but not on NYC, in San Jose CA. I still have issues trusting or, really, respecting police officers because of how many times they ended up chatting in the front yard with my male parent, while my mom was crying and bruising up and wanting them to arrest him. The old boy network was HUGE in those days.

It's different, on the whole, now. People being abused have options.


OP do you have a YWCA that you can call? They act as shelters for women and children in situations like yours.


Quote:
Originally Posted by rockingrollercoaster View Post
first of all, were the details down to the phone in bathroom confronting the mistress necessary on DISBoards?
seriously?
Secondly, the man had to have prior tendencies to be violent prior to this...
So that detail was just too much for you? Why?

That detail was the one thing that resonated with me. I did it once, too. Called the supposed ex who wasn't an ex at all, and we chatted. The guy I was dating, or thought I was dating, thought it was hilarious. It really stoked his ego. I'm LUCKY that's what it did for him. It could so easily have gone the other way. It's a pretty common thing to do out of anger and shame and just unspeakable RAGE when you find out you've been betrayed like that. And you want the other person to know that THEY have been betrayed, too.

My father was peaceful and kind and sweet. Until the day he wasn't. The ONLY warning sign my mom had was that he stood her up on her first date. Of course, he was about 17 at the time. And plenty of people could get beyond that, end up married 60 years with that as nothing but a funny story. He showed nothing else for years.

Anyone who thinks that ALL violent people are obviously violent from day one are fooling themselves and have obviously never been anywhere near a situation involving violence.


Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemygoofy View Post
I was a kid that had a mom get the crap smacked out her. I didn't need a vacation, I needed to know I was safe, she was safe and that it would stop.
And by getting literally *out of the country* they will be FAR safer than they would be even in a home with new locks.

Ever notice that windows can be broken? Houses can be burned down? etc? It's going to be a heck of a lot harder for this person to get to them while they are on a cruise ship.

When my dad did his raids on our home, he kindly called to threaten my mom. She GOT OUT, with us. We went elsewhere. We hid. I WISH we'd been able to hide on a cruise ship. All we had was friends in other houses.


Quote:
Originally Posted by lost*in*cyberspace View Post
This is a terrible thing to have happened, but I'm wondering why your vacation seems to be your biggest worry.
Because it's the ONE THING in the whole world she can control right now.




Quote:
Originally Posted by momto2inKC View Post
Her trip is this week (she has the dates of the cruise portion posted in her op). More than likely she will lose what she's paid if she canceled, correct? That's why *I* say just go.
Exactly.


Quote:
Originally Posted by kymom99 View Post

The OP is telling all the details because she is trying to process what has happened to her. We are her support system. Shame on those of you who are calling her a liar. If there is even the most remote chance this is a true story, this lady needs your help, not your judgment.
Absolutely.


Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCDiane View Post
(I don't get why the cops haven't arrested him yet???? Didn't you tell them where he's staying and where he works and what kind of car he drives????)

His mom is hiding him.

And Diane, I'm so so sorry for what happened to you in the past.
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Old 09-04-2013, 11:51 PM   #68
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You could pack some oatmeal pkgs. (if you like oatmeal) and use the coffeemaker to heat water to cook the oatmeal. The food courts at Disney will have hot water.

Packing snack items is easy and works well even when not on a budget. Kids get hungry while waiting in line for a ride. Saves waiting in lines for snacks.

You can get free ice water at any CS location. Add some Crystal Light, Nestea, etc. if you don't like the taste of FL water.

I know when we were little eating the sugar cereal on our holidays was a treat.

Grabbing some items at a grocery store would save a lot-fruits, packaged carrots, muffins, etc.


Sorry you are going through this but I agree going on the trip will be safer for you and the kids. You will have fun, even though right now you can't imagine it. Disney has a way of making you forget for a while.
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Old 09-05-2013, 02:06 AM   #69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by danygirl
When we were at universal they had an all you can eat all day meal plan. The price for kids was pretty cheap-I would call and ask about it! Last time we went we had breakfast in the room (granola bars fruit and cereal) and snacks in the park- candy from rite aid, granola bars and fruit and drank the free water. I think we did one CDs meal per day. You can do fine on $400. Especially after eating a ton on the cruise. I am so cheap that I would probably bring some big zip lock bags on the cruise and save some cookies and treats for the non cruise part of the trip!!! Please get some help for your family.
Bolding is mine....

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Do NOT do this!!!
It is against the law to bring any food like that off of the ship thru customs and if you are caught, the fines are VERY STIFF!!! Only food that is in sealed packaging is allowed to be brought off of the ship. If it has been opened, it is supposed to be thrown away before you go thru customs. I, personally, would not risk it. IMO it is not worth it for a few free cookies or whatever....but that is JMHO.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:30 AM   #70
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I am very sorry to hear of the ordeal you have been through. I completely understand that you do not want to disappoint your children and have planned for this trip for so long. BUT, I am going to suggest that you reschedule the trip for so many reasons....first off your physical and emotional health. You need to recover from the bruising. I am not sure how walking miles in the park is going to feel in the condition you are in. I know bruises can hurt for days after. Second, your heart is just not in it now as much as you want it to be, please ask yourself if you will be thinking of what just happened or if you can truly focus on enjoying time spent with your children with things so unresolved back home.

I understand the love of Disney as much as many people on this board, I moved to California partly because I love Disneyland so much. I have also went on a vacation to Disney when I was dealing some painful situations in my life (not the same as what you are going through, but painful, nonetheless) and I honestly think I would have been better postponing my trip. Forgive me if I have missed whether you can reschedule or not...

I did not recall reading anything about your financial situation at this time, other than you could not afford the hotel so you came back home. I am not asking you to divulge this information, but were you getting help from him to pay the rent/bills, if spending the money on the trip is wise at this time.

Just wanting you to consider all of the aspects of going on a trip at this time. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best...don't ever let him back into your life, it becomes a pattern and if you think it was bad this time, next time it could be worse. You and your children deserve better, remember that.
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Old 09-05-2013, 06:19 AM   #71
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dont forget you can get free ice water at any counter service location to save on beverages. It can save 2-3$ per person per meal if you just drink water. If you did two adult size meals to split between you at 12$ per person (water to drink) per meal time that is 24x3 if you do breakfast too which is 73$ per day. I would bring some boxes of pop tarts or slim fast bars etc for breakfast/snacks. We do pop tarts for breakfast and bring protein bars for a snack and then a big meal around 3ish during budget trips and we are usually good to go!
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Old 09-05-2013, 06:45 AM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrorke View Post
Please understand that some people have a hard time trusted things posted on websites due to all the scam artists out there.However, if what you posted is in fact true....dear G*d in heaven I hope you are ok and I hope that jerk is caught and punished to the fullest extent of the law.

Take the vacation, clear your head and enjoy your precious children.

Stay safe.
I do understand that but what I don't understand is if you believe a random stranger is a scam artist, big deal. move on. I never understand the strange phenomenon of picking fights and calling names with perfect strangers.

Does calling a perfect stranger a liar make folks feel better? Does arguing with some one you don't know from a bucket of paint over stuff that in no way effects your life make you feel superior?

I just don't get it. The internet is not mandatory, as far as I know, there is no legal requirement to participate.
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Old 09-05-2013, 06:54 AM   #73
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sookie View Post
OP - can you double check and make sure you did not purchase trip insurance?
Most trip insurance pays only in specifically defined situations. I'm not sure whether this would be one of them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bumbershoot View Post
My father was peaceful and kind and sweet. Until the day he wasn't. The ONLY warning sign my mom had was that he stood her up on her first date. Of course, he was about 17 at the time. And plenty of people could get beyond that, end up married 60 years with that as nothing but a funny story. He showed nothing else for years.

Anyone who thinks that ALL violent people are obviously violent from day one are fooling themselves and have obviously never been anywhere near a situation involving violence.
Its a protective thing - by believing there are always signs, you can believe that it'll never happen to you or your daughter/sister/granddaughter/other loved one because "We're just smarter than that". Yes, there are violent men who may as well have "ABUSER" tattooed in red letters on their foreheads, it is so obvious. And maybe if that's the only type you've ever seen you could think they're all like that. But in my life I've seen two other types of abusers that aren't so obvious - those that are simply expert in manipulation, systematic isolation, and basically "grooming" a victim long before she sees any flash of violence, and those who lack coping skills and fall into destructive, violent patterns in times of stress. And those aren't as easy to see through.
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Old 09-05-2013, 07:23 AM   #74
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Blue Ivy,

I'm sorry your story is being doubted. Do understand that the internet is full of scams of people publishing false sob stories and getting cash. You don't need to ask, people are often so generous, and gullible, that they will offer. You haven't done a lot of posting here, which means we don't "know" you - although that doesn't always help - con men will spend months sucking a crowd in. We've had it happen here, and it can make a community ugly.

Everyone else, its probably best to believe Blue Ivy's story at face value because domestic violence is insidious and horrible and victims deserve our support - and don't send her cash no matter how your heart is wrung, unless you have personal knowledge of the situation. If you wish to help financially, domestic violence shelters all over the country can use your donations - and a lot of people escaping these situations are in far worse shape than Blue Ivy.
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Old 09-05-2013, 07:37 AM   #75
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So, to your original question, YES it can be done and YES you can and will and should have a grand time. I had an abusive first husband back in the days when the cops would talk to him in the yard while the cop told me to not make him mad...ok..things change, and my son is a cop and I have utmost respect for most. BUT..IMO protective orders are pretty much worthless unless the man is afraid of them and that keeps him away..hopefully in this case he will. I say forget changing locks, etc...MOVE..I'd get away from the environment where all this happened and the place where he felt comfortable. Sure, he could propbably find your new location, but anything to make it a bigger hassle is good. I'd change my phone number, tell co workers he is not to be trusted, etc. So have fun and in the quiet times of your trip, plan how to disappear from him as much as possible. Press charges and do not back down! That is something that drives my son nuts and probably causes seasoned cops to seem less than empathetic..over and over...domestic violence calls, and then charges are dropped by the woman. Do not ever believe one time is the only time..Best of luck to your family.
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