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Old 08-30-2013, 11:34 PM   #136
Thumper_Man's Wife
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Location: Rio Rancho, New Mexico
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Who knew it was so hard to get to Paris?
Why do you think we haven’t gone? Besides the whole money issue and having no passports, and all…

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Anyone interested in getting this TR headed out the front door?


Oooh! Me me me!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
<cricket> <cricket> <cricket>
Echo Echo Echo


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Oh, wait! There's someone waaaaaay in the back waving!
Someone wants to read this TR!
Somebody out there is interested!
Somebo....
What? I’m short…


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
oh.

Hi mom.
Oh…Guess I’m shorter than I thought.


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Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Oh what the heck. I'll write about it anyway. At least my mom will be happy.
What am I? Chopped liver?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Then again, she was a teacher and principal for all her working life, so maybe she just wants to correct my grammer.

grammar.


(Thanks mom.... boy, that was quick!!)
See that’s what you get for ignoring the rest of us!


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
So we're over at my folks for dinner a few days before the trip and Mom asks how we're getting to the airport.

"Oh, I'm just gonna call a cab."
What are you going to call it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
"Well, what time is your flight? Dad could drive you."

"It's pretty early. Flight's at 8:30am and it's an international flight so we probably have to be at the airport at 6:30, which means we have to leave the house at 6am."

"Your father's always up that early, he can drive you. It's not a problem."
Love when mothers just lay the ground work for everything.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
At no time did my father chime in as to whether or not he wanted to do this.

This is the way wives are.
Pretty sure it's universal
He doesn’t have to. Mom already did it for him. He now is obligated under rule # 3,423 – When children are in need, and you are too slow on the draw to speak up about helping, the wife/mother will speak for you, giving you the option to #1 go along with the plan the wife/mother has laid out, or #2, speak up regarding not wanting to go with said plan and face the wrath of wife/mother later when no one is watching. (See rule # 1 – Wife/mother is always right).


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
At any rate, Dad will be picking us up at 6am.
Now, I know my dad and I'm sure of two things.

1. He really is happy to do it. and;
2. He will be early. Anywhere from 15 - 30 minutes early. I don't care, I'm not going to be rushed! Nope. I said 6am and darn it, 6am it will be!
Until 5am rolls around and you are rushing knowing full well that dad will be there in 45 minutes and will be ready to roll with or without you in the vehicle.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
August 2nd. Bright and early....

I can't speak for the rest of the fam damily, but I for one wasn't 'bright'..
Well now we have an idea of what Ponzi looks like in the morning…


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
We start getting ready to go and I'm doing last minute checks.
Clothes…check
Belt…Check (T-Man always forgets this, we may need to start adding it to the checklist no matter where we go)
Toothbrush…Check
Comb/Brush/Hair gel/Hairspray…Check
Comfy shoes for walking…check
Uncomfortable shoes for walking when I forget the other comfy shoes in one of the other hotels…Check
Paperwork for reservations/flights/maps/etc…Check
T-Man and Lady H…T-Man and Lady H…T-Ma…Hey…How’d that get on my checklist…

Worth a shot right?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
"Hey, Ruby. I didn't bother to try checking in for our flights 'cause it's an international flight with a connection... but what the heck. I'll give it a try."

Worse that can happen is it tells you you have to check in in person, right?
That’s my philosophy – The worst that can happen, is it doesn’t happen right?


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
So I pop on the computer and log into the AirCanada website.... find the reservation number.... hmmm... need the passports. Got 'em right here...
See…I had already forgotten the passports. I would have been halfway to the airport before thinking about them, and then panicking until finding them in my carryon.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Right now, you're fearing the worst, aren't you?
You think that the flight's been cancelled, or I somehow manage to cancel our reservation or there isn't one, or something, right?
Well…this is the Pkondz family vacation after all…

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Well, everything went just fine and I got us checked in and the boarding passes printed.
Well that was anti-climactic

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Easy peasey.

However.......
Dun Dun Dun…


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Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
One last check of the flight times....

What?


Our flight leaves at 7:50am not 8:30??

Whoops!
Yes, I think that would qualify for a Whoops factor…

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
That's never happened before.
That’s what they all say…It happens to everyone Ponzi, it’s OK…

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
I guess I got 8:30 stuck in the ol' noggin and just took it as gospel. Oh, well.
Now the question is…Where did 8:30 come from, and why was it stuck in that ol’ noggin of yours?!?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post

Sure enough, Dad shows up about quarter to six and we start stuffing suitcases and people into the van.
Like clockwork!

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Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
The adventure starts.
Cue Indiana Jones Music

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
This is the most dangerous part of the trip.
What, Indiana Jones not adventurous enough for a dangerous trip? Ok… fine….Here…
Adventurous Music

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
No, no, no. Not the plane ride, silly. My dad driving us to the airport!


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Dad's in his early 80s now. And he never was big on those little niggly details of driving; like using mirrors, turn signals or doing shoulder checks. He likes to look around while he drives too. If that means occasionally drifting into someone else's lane... well... He's paid taxes for 60 years so he basically owns the road, right? What do you think you're doing, driving near his turf, anyway?
Sounds like my uncle. He’s getting up in age, and even in his younger days, was never much of a “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of guy. Always took time to smell the roses so to speak. So as he got older, he got slower. Then of course he had a near death experience, and then slowly lost some of his hearing in one ear, now has lost sight in one eye completely and somehow still manages to come back from the DMV with a renewed license. Well it is Nevada after all.

However, when we used to stay with him on trips out to Vegas, he used to pick us up and drive us back to the airport and he dispises driving on the freeway because everyone is going 80 mph on the slow lane, and he is in the fastlane doing 40…My poor cousin (his son) would be pulling out his hair on the drive to and from, begging his dad to let him drive. All the while, my Uncle would notice random things, or point out random things to us (that we had seen a thousand times when we went to visit every year) as it they were brand new, and as he points, he veers in that general direction. Horns from other drivers are blaring away, and he just looks at them and waves and laughs.

The best part is when he cuts everyone off to power merge into the far right lane to take the exit off the freeway, Continuing to wave to everyone who is honking at him.

I’m pretty sure there were permanent indentations of grip marks and hand prints all over that car from us passengers who grabbed onto anything we could during these fun trips.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
We start off down the road and within two minutes, Dad's already managed to get one wheel up onto the curb as he drives along and looks around.
He has to remember where he is, in order to get back. Trying to memorize landmarks!


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz;49404635
Oh, sure. He's frequently seen driving [I
away[/I] from pile ups... but he's seldom caught up in them.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
We line up for the obligatory cattle branding and Ruby mentions that I should take off my belt.
"Nope. I've done this before and the belt doesn't set off the bells and whistles."
Nope…the whistles come after you take off your belt and are now showing everyone another side to Ponzi!


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
We find our gate and settle in until they start boarding.
A short while later, the PA comes to life and they announce the familiar spiel:
"This is a pre-boarding call for Air Canada flight 260 to Toronto, all first class, business class, elite class, business elite class, elite first class, star alliance, pretentious, entitled, self-aggrandizing and ego inflated passengers may now board and look down your noses at everyone else that's staring at you with envy and lust.
You forgot auspicious, narcissistic and egocentric, but I’ll let it pass.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
I'm not making that up.

Well, okay. the part about "elite first class", I made that up.
But the rest is 'spot on'.
Said the boy who cried wolf! How will I ever believe you again?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
We have two major carriers in Canada with Air Canada being the largest of the two. WestJet is the other one. And is a much, much, MUCH more fun airline to fly with. One time when I was flying with them, after Air Canada had made their pre-boarding announcement, our WestJet gate attendant made a similar announcement. It went something like this:
"This is a pre-boarding call for WestJet flight 123 to Ottawa, anyone with a credit card, or a club membership card or a library card or any type of card at all may board at this time."

They actually made us show them a card before they'd let us on!
That could have been interesting and fun.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Once all the rich folk were aboard the section of the plane that would be destroyed first in the event of a crash they then boarded anyone with small children or people requiring more time to board.
As long as lightening doesn’t hit the tail end first where all the poor folk are…

I mean…er…Yeah…Never thought about how the rich snobby folks get to possibly die first in the event of a crash. Always look on the bright side of life…

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
I looked at Ruby, we both looked at 12 year old Kay and we sadly shook our heads. Maybe we could adopt?
Or borrow someone's kid?
Sure…I don’t see why not. I can see it now.

Ponzi meanders…(sorry, I mean, sashays)… over to a family of 5 at the next waiting area

“Excuse me sir and ma’am, My wife and I were noticing that you had 5 children with you, and you look like an adorable family. We were just wondering if you wouldn’t mind, sharing on of your younger ones with us so we could get on the plane a little sooner than the other poor unfortunate souls who have to wait. We would only need him or her for a short time. This plane is only headed to Toronto, so you could pick him up there on your way to wherever you may be going. I’m sure the pilot wouldn’t mind a pit stop anyway. What do you say?”



Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
The flight to Toronto is uneventful... except for one little thing. I hadn't seen Ironman3 yet, and was pleased to see it offered as one of the inflight entertainment options. I watched 3/4 of it and was going to watch the rest on the next flight... but it wasn't offered on the overseas leg.
That sucks. Just as you get the chance to watch it, and then you can’t watch to see what happens in the end. And that’s the good part!


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
We arrive in Toronto a little over two hours later.

We now have an eight and a half hour lay-over.
Good gracious!



Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
So what do you do? Well guess what? I have a sister that lives in Toronto! I hardly ever get to see her. She comes to Winnipeg every Christmas (hasn't missed one... ever) and also comes once during the summer... usually end of July/beginning of August...

Yep. She's in Winnipeg, while we're in Toronto!



Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
There's a large mall close to the airport, so we decide to hang out there.
See, this is something I would never think to do, mainly because of Checkpoint Charlie. I refuse to have to be scanned any more than what is necessary. And once to me is unnecessary…

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
We walk out to look for a cab and a limo driver asks if we'd like a lift.
Hmmmm.... go in style?
"How much?"
"$45."
"How much would a cab be?"
"About the same. Maybe two or three bucks less."
$45 isn’t bad actually for a limo. Sounds like a flat rate too. As opposed to the cabbies who like to go the long route to make it more expensive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Uh, huh. Sure.
We take the cab.

$45 just to go around the airport.

Not gonna happen!

The cab costs $41.... $43 after tip.
See, and you could have had that same sad expression but in luxury!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
He gives me a card with the company number and tells me to call about half an hour before we want to leave for the airport. At least the return trip is solved.
I was going to say, I bet it wasn’t…but I’ve learned already on this TR, if you say the words bet in any sentence, the jury is seated before you can finish. At least I know I have a good lawyer in T-Man…although he is unlicensed…He is an Aries and will argue until someone folds or places him in contempt.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
At the mall, we engage in that time worn and tested activity that most girls love.

shopping.
Huh? Someone say shopping? Where?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Or as I prefer to call it.

Hell.
Just do what Brad Paisley and Andy Griffith do in that situation, Find a bench and wait on the woman.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Oh, well. Beats sitting on my duff at the airport for 8 1/2 hours.

barely.
I would have been curled up in a corner somewhere with my kindle, watching a movie or sleeping. But…shopping works just as well.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Kaitlyn mentions that she doesn't really have walking shoes (what?!?!?... oh... yeah... she did mention that once a month or so ago),
Poor thing…but I do have to say that while I feel for her, having to wait until she is actually on vacation in order to get the shoes, she could have just constantly badgered you over and over again for a month and got them a day or so earlier…


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
whatever... they look happy, though, don't they?

Happy and Beautiful. You are going to have a heck of a time once they start dating Ponzi…

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
We did see a Disney store, though. Does that qualify as an excuse to put this over on the trip report board?
Sure…I will say it qualifies…

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
What? No, we didn't go in.
Oops…nope, sorry, I retract the above statement, unless you stepped foot in said Disney store, it does not qualify. But since it is you, and we have already been waiting as patiently as can be…I’ll let it slide.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Eventually, the ladies are shopped out and it's time to return to the airport.
Shopped out? Is there such a thing?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Just gotta call the cab company and we'll be on our way. I need to find a payphone, or borrow a phone so I can make the call. We left our cell phones in Winnipeg since they won't work in Europe.
A payphone? Do those exist anywhere? I think I saw one in a seedy part of Albuquerque the other day on my walk, hunkered to the side of a gas station building. Whether it works is a completely different story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
I get the family settled by an exit, take note of where it is and what it's near so I can tell the cab company and set out to find a phone.
Check…Ponzi left his family of women all by themselves in some random spot outside the mall, with no phone, and no way of alerting him if anyone tries to mug them or kidnap them.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
I can't find a freaking phone!!
Geez! Not everyone has a cell phone, ya know!

Right, Smidgy?
Smidgy has a cell phone…just not a $1,000 phone that can do everything but tie your shoes for you kind of phone…


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post

Why I didn't just ask her to borrow their phone, I'll never know.
Well that answers that question.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Oh, wait! I do know!

Cause I'm stupid!

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Ok…THAT answers that question.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post

"There's a payphone over by ______ store. Do you know where that is?"
"No."
"Continue down this hall for another six or seven miles, take a right at the intersection then walk another eighteen or twenty miles and you'll see them. If you see water, don't turn, it's just a mirage."
Now the real question is, Why didn’t the customer service people, service their customer by allowing them to use their phone to call the cab company?!?!?!

Because they are Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Four hours later, I find the payphones.
There's two of them.
A lady is using one of them.
I was hoping you weren’t going to say that you found them right next to where you left your girls!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
This is my lucky day! There's one free!! Yippee!!

Why yes officer, I was using sarcasm there, thank you for asking.
Ponzi said, as he was arrested for being Stupid!


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
I start the long trek back to my happy, rested family.
I hope they are still there…

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
I think I saw the remains of a dead camel half buried in the sand as I trekked back.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
"Okay everyone! Get on your feet!"
"Is the cab here?" Ruby asks.

Oh, I remember when I was trusting like that. Now I just can't get over the fact of how knave I was.

Naďve! (my mom's quick, I tell ya.)
See this is what happens when you turn Stupid!

And obviously Ruby isn’t trusting if she is asking you instead of just trusting that it’s there when you tell them to get up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
"Nope. No cab. I've got something even better! A trip through the mall to customer service!"
Whoo Hoo!


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
At customer service I ask where the "taxi line" is.

"Go down this hall for 47 miles until you come to Target. Go in Target and stay to your right until you see the Exit. You'll see the taxi line when you go out."
If you pass by the remains of a camel you’ve gone too far!


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
I don't remember how much it was, but I do remember that it was a few dollars less then the trip from the airport.
Could have had a limo…Just sayin’


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
We march up to security with boarding passes and passports in hand and the security wench asks me if I'd like to remove my belt.

I've played this record before.

"Nope. It doesn't set off the alarm."

I then march through the detector to a loud welcoming alarm.
Of course all the agents are looking at me as if to say, "Why couldn't you just take off the darn belt?"
Ok…everyone together…Because you’re Stupid!

Just kidding…You know I love you Ponz!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post

After the always enjoyable body rub with surprise happy ending, I collect the rest of the red faced, embarrassed family and we head off to find our gate.
Quickly
At least you got something out of the whole fiasco. I didn’t say it was something you wanted…Although I’m sure your wife and girls got a good show.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Before they decide that a cavity search might be a better use of their time.
Cover your eyes!


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
As we wait to board our flight, I look outside... and it's POURING rain out there. I can just make out the sound of thunder.

"Daddy? Can planes fly in the rain?"
"Yes they can, but all planes will avoid thunderstorms because the turbulence can be really bad."
Well, look who ain’t stupid no more!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
The flight's a long one.
Well hello! You are going to Paris! It’s a little further away that Montana! Maybe I was too quick to judge on that , you ain’t stupid, remark…


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
The kids get their first taste of airline food, which goes about as well as you'd expect.

They hate it.
Never been on a plane long enough to have airline food. But I have parents who have both been in the military, and have had my taste of MRE’s, if it’s any better than that…It will do. I have also tasted my own cooking…I’m still alive…

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Ironman3 is not offered as part of the inflight entertainment.
Of course not. This is your punishment for being stupid in the mall.


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
I encourage the kids to get some sleep, since there's still a long time ahead of us before we see a bed.

I know that Elle managed to sleep.
I know that Kay did not... which was a source of some amusement later on.
I know Ruby did.
I know I didn't.
Intrigued to read about Kay and the source of amusement…

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
I tried. I really did.

I turned off the TV.
I wore noise cancelling headphones.
I used a neck pillow... No! A deluxe neck pillow.


All to no avail. Ah well, I'll sleep eventually.
It takes a lot for me to sleep on planes. I have RLS, which tends to make being comfortable in a small space difficult as it is, and not being able to spread out makes it almost impossible for me unless I have a little help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
We land at last.

We're in Paris!!!


And that's where I'm going to leave the Ponzi family for now. Stranded at the airport until the next chapter.
Well at least we know you made it.

Great chapter Ponz! Can’t wait to read more!!!
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Old 08-30-2013, 11:51 PM   #137
Thumper_Man's Wife
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post

Nobody ever foresaw a time when every freaking one had a portable phone...

Now I foresee a time when everyone has at least two! "Don't be caught without a phone! New Backup Buddy is just the thing for when your regular phone dies! Never be unconnected again! Never have to worry about the awkwardness of speaking to somebody face to face! Yuck! Who wants that? So play it safe! Get Backup Buddy today! Be extra safe and for a limited time, buy one get one half off!!!
Unfortunately I am one of those who has two with her at all times. True, one of those is for work, but still...


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Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
He does seem a little bit cabin feverish...
Yeah, I'm getting him out of the house this weekend. Granted its for a memorial service for a friend of ours...but it's in a different city...does that count?



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Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Love that smiley!
Would you guess that smiley is called Brain Fog?!?!



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Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Feel free, but perfection is hard to improve upon.


I've done my best...


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Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
My, I'm feeling just a bit full of myself today, aren't I? (c'mon... I left the door wiiiiide open here. All ya gotta do is walk through it.)
Nope...Not touching that one!


Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Nope. They told me that they feel rejected by you and are very sad and upset.

But you'll always be loved here.
I think Carol Kane said it best in my favorite movie, The Princess Bride...Liar!

We said no such thing...You know your skating on thin ice regarding those ZD's there buddy. I was about to tell you that even though T-Man may not be willing to share, I was willing to have a private meeting to sneak you some...but you know...

As for Buzz...We understand completely. I'm sure you have your hands full with Buzzette! But you have been missed!




Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
[COLOR="blue"][B]If you will all excuse me for a moment. There's something I need to do before I reply to this post.

<ahem>


zzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrr raaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Doooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmessssssssssssssss s


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.................


yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrr rrraaaaaaaaaaaaaa doooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmesssssssssss.... ..

ah.

that felt good.

Now where was I? Oh, right.
When you've quite finished!
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Old 08-31-2013, 02:34 PM   #138
Backstage_Gal
Let me rephrase the dog stew remark
I broke more than I used
 
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Quote:
Huh? Someone say shopping? Where?
I think I must be the 1 in a million women who HATE shopping, sigh....

That a was an awesome breakdown, T-Man's Wife, BRAVO!!
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Old 08-31-2013, 04:12 PM   #139
pkondz
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Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Why do you think we haven’t gone? Besides the whole money issue and having no passports, and all…
It's a rhetorical question.
I for one had no idea it was gonna be that hard!


Oh.

You were just having fun at my expense....

How cruel.

Cruel and heartless.


But not to worry, you can make it up to me by, how shall I say this (without descending into paroxysms of extasy), purchasing dome like confections from either Boma or Mara.

<phew!>


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
hmmm... I clicked it and got "Page cannot be displayed"

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Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
What? I’m short…
That's okay. I can loan you some cash 'til payday.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
What am I? Chopped liver?
Well foie gras (basically, chopped liver) retails for about $50/lb....

So, sure.


I would never consider you cheap...
A little short right now, but certainly not cheap.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Me View Post
"Oh, I'm just gonna call a cab."
What are you going to call it?
Expensive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
He doesn’t have to. Mom already did it for him. He now is obligated under rule # 3,423 – When children are in need, and you are too slow on the draw to speak up about helping, the wife/mother will speak for you, giving you the option to #1 go along with the plan the wife/mother has laid out, or #2, speak up regarding not wanting to go with said plan and face the wrath of wife/mother later when no one is watching. (See rule # 1 – Wife/mother is always right).
I know those rules!

It's never good when I forget them...


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Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Well now we have an idea of what Ponzi looks like in the morning…
What can I say? That's pretty accurate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Clothes…check
Belt…Check (T-Man always forgets this, we may need to start adding it to the checklist no matter where we go)
Toothbrush…Check
Comb/Brush/Hair gel/Hairspray…Check
Comfy shoes for walking…check
Uncomfortable shoes for walking when I forget the other comfy shoes in one of the other hotels…Check
Don't get me started on the shoes!!

Oh, you'll see.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Paperwork for reservations/flights/maps/etc…Check
T-Man and Lady H…T-Man and Lady H…T-Ma…Hey…How’d that get on my checklist…

Worth a shot right?!?!
I don't understand, "Worth a shot."

That pretty much was on my list, but when I opened the front door to make sure you guys were there.... nothing!

I waited for a bit, but eventually we had to get going.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
See…I had already forgotten the passports. I would have been halfway to the airport before thinking about them, and then panicking until finding them in my carryon.
Something like that did happen on the trip, later on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Well that was anti-climactic
I have something to say here.... but it's a family board, so... no.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
That’s what they all say…It happens to everyone Ponzi, it’s OK…
Well it's never happened to me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Now the question is…Where did 8:30 come from, and why was it stuck in that ol’ noggin of yours?!?!
I have no idea! And usually I'm like, "Only 73 hours and 15 minutes until our flight!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
I think I've heard that music somewhere... not sure where 'tho.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
What, Indiana Jones not adventurous enough for a dangerous trip? Ok… fine….Here…
Adventurous Music
oooohhhh... now I wanna go slay a dragon!

Ruby, why are you looking at me like that? I didn't mean you... No really! I didn't! I never... ow! ouch! stop! ow! ow! cut it ouch!



sorry.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
The best part is when he cuts everyone off to power merge into the far right lane to take the exit off the freeway, Continuing to wave to everyone who is honking at him.
See, my dad wouldn't be aware of the tangled wreckage he'd leave in his wake.... so no waving.


No! Wait! That's not quite right.

If the other drivers beep at him, he'd wave...

Well he'd wave with one finger at least. :


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Nope…the whistles come after you take off your belt and are now showing everyone another side to Ponzi!
And applause. Don't forget the applause of adulation.

Hey! I'm not making this up people!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
You forgot auspicious, narcissistic and egocentric, but I’ll let it pass.
Welll.... yes and no.

While you are correct, I did forget.... but they weren't included on that leg of the flight....

On the way back, however....


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Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Said the boy who cried wolf! How will I ever believe you again?!
I have never spoken an un-truthful fictional fabrication in my life!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
As long as lightening doesn’t hit the tail end first where all the poor folk are…
Not a problem. Planes are hit by lightning fairly regularly.
Statistically, however, the back of the plane is the safest place to sit.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Ponzi meanders…(sorry, I mean, sashays)…
thank you

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
over to a family of 5 at the next waiting area

“Excuse me sir and ma’am, My wife and I were noticing that you had 5 children with you, and you look like an adorable family. We were just wondering if you wouldn’t mind, sharing on of your younger ones with us so we could get on the plane a little sooner than the other poor unfortunate souls who have to wait. We would only need him or her for a short time. This plane is only headed to Toronto, so you could pick him up there on your way to wherever you may be going. I’m sure the pilot wouldn’t mind a pit stop anyway. What do you say?”
You forgot the part where I start with, "Buzz! What are you doing here?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
That sucks. Just as you get the chance to watch it, and then you can’t watch to see what happens in the end. And that’s the good part!
The Ironman 3 saga is not over...

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Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
See, this is something I would never think to do, mainly because of Checkpoint Charlie. I refuse to have to be scanned any more than what is necessary. And once to me is unnecessary…
Lesser of two weevils

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
$45 isn’t bad actually for a limo. Sounds like a flat rate too. As opposed to the cabbies who like to go the long route to make it more expensive.
In hindsight, yes. But at the time, I guessed the cab ride 'just around the corner' would only cost $15-$20. I was sure the limo driver was exaggerating in order to get the fare.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
I was going to say, I bet it wasn’t…but I’ve learned already on this TR, if you say the words bet in any sentence, the jury is seated before you can finish.
I have no idea to what you are referring... :

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
He is an Aries and will argue until someone folds or places him in contempt.
Yep... that would explain it alright.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Now that is a frightening smiley!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Just do what Brad Paisley and Andy Griffith do in that situation, Find a bench and wait on the woman.
I could'a done that at the airport!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
I would have been curled up in a corner somewhere with my kindle, watching a movie or sleeping. But…shopping works just as well.
Ah. You've hit upon our dilemma.

We were wondering what to do for the aprox. 6 hours (we wanted to be early for the connection, so we don't have the full 8.5 hours to be elsewhere) of time we had to kill.
We talked about seeing a movie... but then we thought, "We're going to be sitting for the next 8 hours or so... do we really want to sit for more???"

Hence. Shopping.

A zoo would've been nice, but that's a lot farther.
There was a park nearby... but let's face it. 6 hours to wander around a small park?

nope.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Poor thing…but I do have to say that while I feel for her, having to wait until she is actually on vacation in order to get the shoes, she could have just constantly badgered you over and over again for a month and got them a day or so earlier…
Maybe... but I definitely failed on this one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Happy and Beautiful. You are going to have a heck of a time once they start dating Ponzi…
Oh, Gawd! I know! I know!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Shopped out? Is there such a thing?
Apparently, for some, yes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
A payphone? Do those exist anywhere? I think I saw one in a seedy part of Albuquerque the other day on my walk, hunkered to the side of a gas station building. Whether it works is a completely different story.
Extinct:
Dodo birds
Moas
Wooly Mammoth
Passenger Pigeon

Nearly Extinct:
Siberian Tiger
Giant Panda
Payphones
People still reading this TR



Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Check…Ponzi left his family of women all by themselves in some random spot outside the mall, with no phone, and no way of alerting him if anyone tries to mug them or kidnap them.
Didn't work, though.


ow! ouch! ow! stop that!!! ow!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Smidgy has a cell phone…just not a $1,000 phone that can do everything but tie your shoes for you kind of phone…
But is it charged?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Now the real question is, Why didn’t the customer service people, service their customer by allowing them to use their phone to call the cab company?!?!?!
'cause I was too stupid to tell them a) that I needed a phone or b) what I really needed was a cab.

For all they knew, I told someone I'd meet them by the payphones.
Just a thought.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
I was hoping you weren’t going to say that you found them right next to where you left your girls!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Could have had a limo…Just sayin’
I know! I know!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Ok…everyone together…Because you’re Stupid!

Just kidding…You know I love you Ponz!
Yes... I know.

Does Mike, know? I won't tell him if you don't.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Well hello! You are going to Paris! It’s a little further away that Montana! Maybe I was too quick to judge on that , you ain’t stupid, remark…
Yeah... but only 3 times as far.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Never been on a plane long enough to have airline food. But I have parents who have both been in the military, and have had my taste of MRE’s, if it’s any better than that…It will do.
I've heard that there's nothing worse then MREs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
I have also tasted my own cooking…I’m still alive…
Remind me to decline any dinner invites!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Intrigued to read about Kay and the source of amusement…
Don't get too worked up. It's really just an anecdote.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Great chapter Ponz! Can’t wait to read more!!!
Thanks Heather... and Holy Cow! You went to a lot of work to break down that chapter! It was great!!
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Old 08-31-2013, 04:27 PM   #140
pkondz
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Unfortunately I am one of those who has two with her at all times. True, one of those is for work, but still...
Behold! The future is upon us!


Is this a good thing????


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Yeah, I'm getting him out of the house this weekend. Granted its for a memorial service for a friend of ours...but it's in a different city...does that count?
Nope. Again, sorry to hear about your loss.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
I've done my best...
And it was pretty darned good!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
I think Carol Kane said it best in my favorite movie, The Princess Bride...Liar!
Hmmmm..... I think you're trying to say something here... but I'm not quite sure what it could be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
We said no such thing...You know your skating on thin ice regarding those ZD's there buddy. I was about to tell you that even though T-Man may not be willing to share, I was willing to have a private meeting to sneak you some...but you know...
Oh, CARP!!! I've done it again!!!!

I better not tick off DeeDee or I'll be bereft of little portions of heaven.

Heavens!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper_Man's Wife View Post
Again... Not sure of the message here. Very, verrrrry subtle.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Backstage_Gal View Post
I think I must be the 1 in a million women who HATE shopping, sigh....


Nope. Elle isn't a fan either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Backstage_Gal View Post
That a was an awesome breakdown, T-Man's Wife, BRAVO!!
Wasn't it? Colour me amazed and awed!
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Teenage Mutant Backseat Dancers - A Canadian Buffoon Adventure
Canadian Buffoon's Vacation - PTR/mini TR
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Old 09-01-2013, 12:27 PM   #141
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Funny/Not Funny - real life update

So I was back-to-school shopping the other day with Kay when I came across something at the register.

I picked it up. Laughed.
Put it in the basket.
Put it back on the shelf.
Shrugged, said, "Oh, what the heck."
Put it back in the basket.
Bought it.

I mean, it's just meant to be right?




A couple of days later, I'm coming back from... I don't remember.
Doesn't matter.

I was on a section of road where the speed limit is 80kph/50mph. But frequently, during the day, depending on traffic, you can expect to be at a dead standstill at least a couple of times before you get through the next set of traffic lights.

Traffic's moving okay... probably around 60kph/35mph or so.
And of course, we come to a standstill.

I'm sitting there.
Just behind a car who's sitting behind another car and so on for about 50 cars.

I glance in my rearview mirror and there's a truck behind me.
He's about one car-length back.
It's one of those big flatbed trucks that you see for hauling around lumber, or as was the case here, stacks of drywall.

Do you guys south of the border call it drywall? Or is it sheetrock?

Whatever.

That's not really the issue.

What was the issue was that this big truck...
That was a car-length behind me...
With me and everyone in front of me stopped, waiting for the lights to change...



Was still going about 80kph/50mph.




I think my eyes might have gotten really, really big. And I know... I mean I know my adrenaline kicked into overdrive.

I had no where to go.
I did the only thing I had even a chance to do, which was crank the steering wheel as hard as I could so that when I got creamed from behind, I might not (that's might not) die by being turned into a pancake, but would instead get catapulted into the cars beside me. An angled crash might just save my life... but it's still going to be bad.


I didn't think all this at the time. All I know is I reacted on instinct, to GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!

So I didn't die, obviously.

At the last second, the truck driver woke up.
He jinked to the left for a nano-second, then swerved to the right. He bounced up over the curb and onto the gravel shoulder and roared past me in a cloud of diesel fumes and road dust.


I sat there for a second, watching my life flash before my eyes and pondering what to do now.
Should I pull over and follow him?
What for. Why would I?
I figured he was probably just as shaken up as I was.
Maybe more. "Holy *expletive* I almost killed that guy!"

So I just drove home.
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Teenage Mutant Backseat Dancers - A Canadian Buffoon Adventure
Canadian Buffoon's Vacation - PTR/mini TR
Canadian Buffoon European Vacation
Just a silly little TR - run away!



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Last edited by pkondz; 02-26-2014 at 10:59 AM.
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Old 09-01-2013, 12:45 PM   #142
Backstage_Gal
Let me rephrase the dog stew remark
I broke more than I used
 
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Oh my God, Ponzi, that is so scary! I'm happy you are still around to take us to Paris.
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Old 09-01-2013, 01:16 PM   #143
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So glad you and others weren't injured! So scary
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Old 09-01-2013, 01:28 PM   #144
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Official Ponzi Translation:

Both drywall and sheetrock are acceptable south o' the border.

Holy Cow! I would have had to change my shorts.

I wasn't so lucky Friday night....I was stopped in traffic and a Xterra slammed into the back of me and pushed me into the car ahead. My poor Jeep got it on both ends. I limped home but steam was coming out of the engine when I pulled into the driveway. Waiting on the adjustor to take to look look at the damage. Praying they will fix it and not total it since its paid for and really can't afford a car payment right now.

Jill in CO
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Old 09-01-2013, 02:23 PM   #145
Backstage_Gal
Let me rephrase the dog stew remark
I broke more than I used
 
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So sorry, Jill, that sucks! Hope it works out for you.
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Old 09-02-2013, 11:35 AM   #146
pkondz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Backstage_Gal View Post
Oh my God, Ponzi, that is so scary! I'm happy you are still around to take us to Paris.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dawnbu40 View Post
So glad you and others weren't injured! So scary

Gotta admit, it shook me a little. That's probably the closest I've come to cashing in my chips in a while.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jedijill View Post
Official Ponzi Translation:

Both drywall and sheetrock are acceptable south o' the border.
You really want those V&A meals, huh?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jedijill View Post
Holy Cow! I would have had to change my shorts.
Did I forget to mention that part?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jedijill View Post
I wasn't so lucky Friday night....I was stopped in traffic and a Xterra slammed into the back of me and pushed me into the car ahead. My poor Jeep got it on both ends. I limped home but steam was coming out of the engine when I pulled into the driveway. Waiting on the adjustor to take to look look at the damage. Praying they will fix it and not total it since its paid for and really can't afford a car payment right now.

Jill in CO
Oh, geez. Let us know how the meeting with the adjustor goes.
You weren't hurt were you? How's your back/neck?

Seems kinda strange that you were hit from the back and I almost was on or around the same time.

Small world... and not in a good way, here.
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Teenage Mutant Backseat Dancers - A Canadian Buffoon Adventure
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Canadian Buffoon European Vacation
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Old 09-02-2013, 12:47 PM   #147
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Originally Posted by queenbetsey View Post
I vote yay also
great post Ponzi and man your girls just get prettier by the day.
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Originally Posted by pkondz View Post

Case dismissed!


(Dang I hate a good argument sometimes. )
Too late for any more votes. I won my appeal. Case dismissed.

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Wait... does this mean I get a ZD from you instead?
I think Buzz has you covered on this. Buzz to the rescue.

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Originally Posted by buzz1121 View Post
Wait, wait, wait! You know you will be getting, yes, let's use the word despite the risk of psychological trauma as a result of withdrawal, zebra domes, from me.
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Old 09-02-2013, 12:59 PM   #148
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Always look on the bright side of life…
Always Look On The Bright Side of Life.
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Old 09-02-2013, 03:53 PM   #149
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Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
[COLOR="Blue"]

Oh, geez. Let us know how the meeting with the adjustor goes.
You weren't hurt were you? How's your back/neck?

Seems kinda strange that you were hit from the back and I almost was on or around the same time.

Small world... and not in a good way, here.
I hear ya on the not so good small world! No injuries for anyone but my back and neck feel like I got hit by a semi. Just got home from having a massage to see if that will help and will be calling the chiropractor tomorrow morning.

No one showed up to tow my car to the repair place Saturday so I have to call in the morning to find out what is going on. Still hoping they can fix it instead of totalling it...I really don't want a new car payment!

Jill in CO
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Old 09-02-2013, 09:51 PM   #150
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Gee, wish I'd know about that earlier. I could've borrowed baby buzzette for a few days then had a nice sleep on the plane.
I have a feeling you would have handled her just fine. I read what you do with and for your girls so I'm sure baby Buzz would be in good hands. The good news is that as of yesterday, both of the top teeth have broken through. She rested so much better last night....and so did I.


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That might've been purgatory... but I have a picture of hell from later in the trip.
Uh-oh. That doesn't sound too good. If I didn't know better, with that kind of ominous statement, I would swear I was reading a Nebo TR.


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I knew you'd feel that way!
Yep, just like taxes and the surety of something going awry on a Nebo trip, you can count on Ol Buzz always being in for the lengthy TR. Hey, I'm not alone, if I remember correctly Marita prefers extended TRs as well.


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Nope. They told me that they feel rejected by you and are very sad and upset.

But you'll always be loved here.
Aww, how magnanimous of you!

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Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
If you will all excuse me for a moment. There's something I need to do before I reply to this post.

<ahem>


zzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrr raaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Doooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmessssssssssssssss s


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.................


yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrr rrraaaaaaaaaaaaaa doooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmesssssssssss.... ..

ah.

that felt good.

Now where was I? Oh, right.

Here's hoping you get back to WDW soon... well not too soon... it's too hot out right now, I think.
Yes, my friend, it is way too hot to ship zebra domes right now. It is averaging about 90 degrees daily here, with Orlando being a few degrees higher. I think you would get ZD gelatinous goo even with the 40 tons of dry ice DH would purchase.
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