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Old 07-28-2013, 07:19 PM   #631
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Originally Posted by Jennasis

One has nothing to do with the other. It's my DH that my MIL treats like garbage. The fact is that he turned out as well as he did DESPITE who raised him...not because of it.
Same with my DH, he is nothing like the mother who raised him. When my DH went back to school to finally get his college degree at 43, he was told he was being vain. And thats the nicest thing she had to say.
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Old 07-28-2013, 07:26 PM   #632
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I don't have any stories about my current MIL. She is a pill head and druggie and a mooch. I have only met her once in 7 years and only then she had stopped by to try and bum some money for drugs from DH.

Most of the time when she calls Dh doesn't even answer.

She was a horrible drunk when DH was growing up and the kids had to take care of themselves, feed themselves, get themselves to school, etc. And when Dh was old enough to work at 16 she would take most of his money to buy booze and get drunk with her alcoholic husband.

She is a total loser and has been her whole life. Dh turned out to be an amazing man DESPITE her not because of her.

I am thankful she leaves us the hell alone. I would be rude if she were around too much.

Funny thing is my first MIl was also a fall down sloppy drunk who hated life, hated her kids, wanted to die all the time. She was a real winner. Both my MIL's have been winners.
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Old 07-28-2013, 07:43 PM   #633
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My MIL was alright when I was still married to her worthless son, over involved but ok. It was after the divorce when things started going downhill.

The ex had supervised visitation at their house, which he rarely used. He had four suicide attempts inside of three weeks that the in laws didn't tell me about so the ex could see her that one time in a period of three months or so he got off his butt to show up. To this day, about 4 years later, they still say they didn't have to tell me about it. I had no reason to know because they were there to supervise. They didn't tell me about that until after the ex died.

At the funeral they put up pictures of DD all over the place and carved her name on his headstone in an effort to make him look better.

Now DD and I live out of state and they come to see her a few times a year. They stay for 36 hours each time and have been up once in the last year. They don't understand why I won't let them take DD out of state to their home for a week. Their daughter lives about three hours from us and they have been to see her and her kids several times without bothering to let me know they were in the state let alone coming the extra few hours to see DD. They refuse to acknowledge my existence and I haven't spoken to them in about two years.

I'm sorry, but you used my kid like a pawn to make your family look better, you won't get off your butt for more than a few hours a year to see my daughter and you haven't acknowledged my existence in years. Heck no you can't take my daughter 12 hours away for a week. I. DO. NOT. TRUST. YOU.
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:07 PM   #634
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Originally Posted by loveshak22 View Post
I posted my MIL horror stories on this thread earlier (either October or December timeframe) but I have to say that recently our relationship is improving!!
I may have posted in here before too (will go back and look). But my relationship has also gotten much better with my MIL. We lived out of state (from our family who are all in MD) for most of our marriage and moved back in 2007. We had a major blow up the day we (the kids and I...DH came later after closing on our house in NC) moved back to MD. It was BAD and we didn't talk for a couple weeks but worked it out and things just keep getting better. It has helped that we live nearby and don't have to stay at their house for 2-5 days (like we used to when we visited) or them in our house. Really that was the root of our problems (they felt that they had charge of our kids when under their roof and would not let us parent our way...that led to much drama). I have come to really love my MIL. She, in some ways, gives me more mothering than my own mom. I am glad she's here and will miss her one day when she's not.

DH has 2 sisters too and the one closer in age is easier for me to deal with too. The other one (his eldest sister) lives just down the road from us and that's the inlaw I have most trouble with as everything always has to be her way. There are still tensions on that front and my solution is 'small doses'.
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Old 07-29-2013, 09:54 PM   #635
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I have spent about 3 days reading this thread from beginning to end. Wow. The lengths people go through to make their family (or future family) feel unwelcome, and be downright nasty. So sorry for those that try and deal w some real basket cases.
My ex-Dbf mother refused to meet me, after we were together for over 2 years. He would go above and beyond for this woman. Twice while I was with him she texted him, "come to the hospital, your brother was in an accident" no further detail, just come. So of course, he would leap into action, just to find out both were very very minor accidents. I'm sorry, why would u not tell him whether it was minor or if it was 'life or death'. Because she loved the drama. My Dbf would be in panic that his brothers life is at stake, when he had some bruises.
It was a constant of him running to her side whenever she beckoned. One year he took off of work for her birthday, but after planning for my birthday, called on that day to say work came up and he needed the money. Not a pleasant bday for me, or him.
We had a large age difference, so she had reservations about our relationship, but you would think after such a long time together, she would learn to accept it. Eventually, I came to my senses and realized that my Dbf was not sticking up for me, otherwise he would have made our meeting actually happen.
But I read some of these, and I see some stories of their spouses sticking up to their mother/father/sibling for the rudeness. Be grateful you have such a great partner, cuz it makes me happy I dumped that loser.
(Btw my wonderful breakup line, "you always told me you were worried Id leave you for someone younger. Who knew that you'd be leaving me for your mother? Hope you two are happy together")
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Old 07-30-2013, 07:17 AM   #636
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Mine is my SIL (husband's side), I will just give a list of some of the things she has said to me or stopped speaking to me for over the years. We do not speak now because she is angry again at me, but I'm not sure why.....again.

Started 22 years ago with the first comment..

- "Your pregnant? Your having an abortion right?" (DH & I were young & not married)

- She stopped speaking to us again because she "should have had the first grand daughter". She went on to have two boys.

- She stopped speaking to us for three years because I would not give her my son's port a crib when she had her second child. My mother bought it for me & we still used it every weekend when my best friend came over with her baby.

- During these periods she will not get together for holidays at all. She has been sick every Christmas for years.

We did get along for a couple of years & would hang out & go on outings together but then she stopped talking again when my mother died. I don't know why & I actually asked her about it all recently & she would not tell me or give me a straight answer. I saw her face to face at a viewing for one of my DH's old friends mother & she would not even acknowledge me when I tried to speak to her. I have never done anything to my knowledge to her! Come to find out from my other SIL, she talks about us awful & is still mad over the port a crib. Needless to say, I have now made it very known that we have nothing left to say & I refuse to even be around her at any point if I can help it. She's just plain mean & now brags to my MIL how she is bi-polar. It's just frustrating because I feel bad for my husband. He & his brother don't even speak because of her & I know it hurts him & there's not a darn thing I can do to change it.
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Old 07-30-2013, 09:04 AM   #637
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My husband had been in the hospital for a few days with a sore back (they did not visit) was eventually diagnosed with Stage Four Cancer. My husband phoned to tell his parents. They (live five minutes from the hospital) came to pick up the his car keys to move his car which was in their driveway(long story) and then went out to dinner. I had to go down to the entrance of the hospital to give them the keys.

Can anyone top this??????
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I actually hope that NOBODY can top this. Cold is just a joke. Hope your DH is doing well now.
Ive had 2 batcrazy MIL's, Ive posted one story before but forgot a few things until I saw this thread....

My DH (only son) was in the ICU for 6 weeks after a bad car accident, my MIL worked about 5 mins away as a Kindergarten teacher so came by after about a week on her lunch break to see him. He was unconscious since day 3 on a ventilator and her first question to me when she saw him was "Is the reason you dont let me drive the kids anymore is because I have a convertible?"

Nope its because the one time we let her drive the kids she put the top down in 30 degree weather before getting out of the driveway so we stopped her and asked her what she was doing... but they asked me to.
And the numerous accidents, too many to count, and we saw her pass a car on the right shoulder to catch up to us..... she went out a month later and bought a Taurus, nope still wouldnt let her drive the kids anywhere.

I had to tell the doctors not to tell her information anymore because she would get there before me and question them and forget what they said... so I would get " ummm something about a trach and I think they said blood transfusion" seriously thats all you remember? Yeah she was kinda po'ed they wouldn't tell her anything anymore, which they really werent suppose to, to begin with.

Then I found out that she was taking off work using DH in the hospital as the reason to just stay home and drink. I only found out when relatives would call everyday asking if she came by to see him... nope havent seen her in weeks.

Due to her drinking my DH would eventually get mad and yell at her, then 3 days later call crying that she needs help and can you please take me to the hospital. (I told him after the 3rd or 4th time just tell her to call 911 and hang up) The last time she did a 3 day detox she came to stay with us for a week (joy). My DH made her cancel her cruise and she complained for about 4 days she needs to go home then the last 3 days cried that she couldnt go home and needed to be taken care of... not! I followed her home at a distance to watch her go to the liqueur store... then I was done with it all.


ex-MIL#1

We lived on her farm that had a pool store and a 400 ft driveway. My DH at the time was working 30 mins away at the other store. I went to pick up my kids off the bus when a guy stopped by to ask me if my DH needed any help for the summer which he had done the previous year. I get home to my DH yelling at me on the phone asking "who was that guy at the end of the driveway talking to me?" I guess MIL had to call him to let him know.

When DH passed away from lymphoma (not lung cancer) MIL told my two kids 5 & 9 at the time that I killed him because I smoked.....
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Old 07-30-2013, 09:13 AM   #638
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I feel so sad for all of you! That you hate your in laws. They raised your husband/ wife. They must have some redeeming values to make you love your spouse?
My MIL treats my husband like crap and ONLY wants anything to do with him since we had a child. Before that she never bothered visiting and only called on holidays and birthdays.

She treats my son like crap. She insults me every chance she gets whether it is true or not. She went so far as to say that I should not have gone to my sister's wedding and we should not have allowed my daughter to be her flower girl because we were not also spending the following week with them.

She expects everyone around her to do exactly what she says and we don't do what she says therefore she is nasty to us as a whole. Including the precious grandchild that she claims to love so much.
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Old 07-30-2013, 10:08 AM   #639
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I feel so sad for all of you! That you hate your in laws. They raised your husband/ wife. They must have some redeeming values to make you love your spouse?
Nope my DH raised himself, his DD was killed when he was six. She remarried her husbands friend a year later when he was seven and ignored the crap out of him after that. Oh but she has PTSD from the love of her life being killed.

When he was 12 she left him at home on xmas so she and her new DH could go on vacation. She would lock him out of the house in ele. school during the summer when it was 90 degrees outside so they could have a mid day romp. They divorced when my DH was 21 and he couldn't ever move out of the house, when he did she would get drunk and fake suicide attempts so he would move back in.... I could go on.
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Old 07-31-2013, 08:25 PM   #640
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Originally Posted by lovin'fl View Post
I may have posted in here before too (will go back and look). But my relationship has also gotten much better with my MIL. We lived out of state (from our family who are all in MD) for most of our marriage and moved back in 2007. We had a major blow up the day we (the kids and I...DH came later after closing on our house in NC) moved back to MD. It was BAD and we didn't talk for a couple weeks but worked it out and things just keep getting better. It has helped that we live nearby and don't have to stay at their house for 2-5 days (like we used to when we visited) or them in our house. Really that was the root of our problems (they felt that they had charge of our kids when under their roof and would not let us parent our way...that led to much drama). I have come to really love my MIL. She, in some ways, gives me more mothering than my own mom. I am glad she's here and will miss her one day when she's not.

DH has 2 sisters too and the one closer in age is easier for me to deal with too. The other one (his eldest sister) lives just down the road from us and that's the inlaw I have most trouble with as everything always has to be her way. There are still tensions on that front and my solution is 'small doses'.
Glad things are improving in your family as well!!!
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:09 AM   #641
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WOW! seriously WOW! i have just spent the last week dipping into this thread!!! riveting stuff!!!!

I am soon to become a DIL myself (well soonish) and have recently moved in (temporarily) with my future inlaws. They are wonderful! seriously! but when i was reading the comments from those who were like " omg your so selfish for getting angry at your mil" or " how can you hate your mil the woman who raised your husband" i just couldn't help but think ...do you have inlaws? As i stated before i love my inlaws... my future SIL will be my maid of Honour. my future mil and fil are just so generous and awesome.... but even i have had moment when moving in where i have had to step away and have wanted to rant to someone. i mean there family and even the best family in the world can drive you crazy.

OK so my stories are nothing like the ones i have read here, thank god! and most of my irritation is due to the fact that they are being so kind... and are just worried about me...alas this just makes me feel like they are all keeping an extra close watch on me and if i so much as sneeze they may pack me off in an ambulance swearing its pneumonia! also that they think the sun shines out of the behind of their son and daughter.

however i do have another story of another daughter and mother. my mother and my eldest sister. Now my mother is lovely, not perfect! but in saying that she has melowed in the past 10 years, but even before that she was not horrible and she was a fantastic mum to the four of us. However in the past few years my sister has taken to treating her like the wicked mother in law we have all read about in these stories.

ok before i go on to tell you the story i was originally going to write may i just say i just got a phone call from my mum. now whenever my dniece and dnephew are on holiday they come up to Scotland to spend a week with my mum and (they live in the north of england) in this week i always try and make it over for a few days which was easy enough before as i only lived across the river, i now live quite far north so when my sister organised a trip for the kids my mum quickly phoned me to tell me when they were coming and I got train tickets sorted so i could come down for a few days. However my mum just phoned my sister to ask when she wanted my mum and dad to drive down and pick up the kids, OH, says my sister, we have postponed it for 2 weeks. Now i totally understand as does my mother...but why couldn't she have told us this before rather than waiting till my mum phoned her? it also means that i won't be able to help out as i have to work and my mum will also have to work more that week leaving my dad to take care of them on his own..not a big deal but he isn't as young as he once was and also has a bit of an affinity with a red coat wearing dwarf we all know and love.

ok so i will now try and keep my original story short. Last year my dad thought it would be his last visit to disney (yeah right! lol) so he wanted the whole family to go. my brother couldn't make it but my eldest sister and her DH could with their DS 9 and DD 7. and my other sister and her DH AND DS1 could. and you know i'm gonna be there (with bells on ) so we get a 2 bedroom at OKW my eldest sis and her fam in the studio room, my other sis and her fam in the big bedroom Granma and grumpy ...sorry i mean grampa (my mum and dad) on the pull out sofa bed and me on the single sofa bed in the living room (hey if it means i get to go to disney i'll sleep in the bath with uncle Orville )

ok so the first room we get my mum doesn't like too much ...its on the ground (first) floor and my mum gets paranoid about snakes so she always asks for one higher up. so she phones the front desk and as always they are happy to help but say we can't get one till the next day will this be ok. ofcourse! replies my mother and thanks the woman for her help. My eldest sister just looks at me and says " well that is the last grump mum is allowed this holliday" ....which i should have seen as a sign of things to come.... and besides it was actually a good call on my mums part as my brother in law (eldes sis husband) came out in all these weird bites after sitting on the balcony in that first
room.

ok so its not much... but my sis barely spoke to my mum the whole time and what was even stranger is how my niece was with my mum. My mum and my niece usually get on like a house on fire. she loves to visit my mum and they often play and for the first week of the two week holiday she was playing with my mum as usual...but then she got weird. one day when my mum and dad had just bought her a princess gown and accesories she was dressing up and said we should all get in a line to get our autographs etc....except Granma. so i asked...why not granma? she wants to meet the princess too. my niece didn't say anything. and she did the same thing when my mum said she would take her to the loo (after dniece declaring she needed to go) so my mum went and dniece waited till the next person needed. this time when i asked why she didn't want to go with Granma my sister said it was because Granma scares her and shouts at her.... WAIT WHAT???!?!!?? as i have said i am often around when my parents have the kids and i have seen my dad shout at when she has done something (he's not grumpy for nothing) even i have shouted at her when she has refused to do what she is told (i know bad aunt right) however i have never heard my mother raise her voice to her ever!

and i know your thinking..."you don't know that" but you just get the over riding feeling that my sister has being saying stuff in the presence of my niece about my mum. i know these are small things but it is so frustrating when my mum does so much for those kids (who do you think are the DVC members and bought them their park tickets etc etc) but my sister just doesn't appreciate it! at all! and she makes all these snide comments and i know it really hurts my mums feelings.

as i said before my mum is far from perfect...when i was growing up she and i had quite the rocky relationship. even now we all still know that darling middle is the golden child. although wait till i tell you about her DH ..perhaps in another post.

bizzarly i have painted my dad as the grump..this is only a wee bit true. he is actually a wonderful man who loves disney nearly as much as i do!


ok so my sis is not an evil thing that rimes with stitch. i love all family members dearly and am so lucky to have them... but this is just a rant! because as every sane person knows.... even the best families make us insane.

and you know what they say

you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose!
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Old 08-12-2013, 12:43 PM   #642
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Nice sentiment, Thank you. .

Your location reads East Coast?
Yup, East Coast!
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