Ths DIS is a great place to ask Disney Cruise Line questions and share tips.
Dreams Unlimited Travel - The official sponsor of the Disney Cruise Forums Dreams Unlimited Travel - the official sponsor of the Disney Cruise Forums  

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Disney Cruise Line > Disney Cruise Line Forum
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
 
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS UpdatesDIS email updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read



Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 05-28-2013, 04:28 PM   #76
neg58
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,664

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsScooby View Post
This doesn't answer my question...
at what age do you think your child (or any child) is ready to leave your presence on the DCL ship to, for example, go get some ice cream and return immediately???? Or go to the DCL movie theater, watch a movie and then return to you ?? Obviously not age 9-10. So what age are you prepared to let them do things like this for the first time ?
And I gather from your tone of your comments that you feel that regardless of the maturity of the child that they all should get their freedom at the exact same age that you personally establish as appropriate??

Look, obviously I don't look at this the same way as you do. I am just trying to figure out how far off we are from each other...15, 16, 17 ?
Surely you don't intend for college to be the first time your kids are away from you without supervision???


When I went on my first cruise, only my 16 year old was with me. At first I wasn't comfortable with her walking around the ship without me, but I became comfortable very quickly. She used the stairs, not the elevators, she was in the more public areas. On the second cruise, with both of my kids being 16, they were all over the place, all the time.

At home they need to let me know basically where they are, who they are with, and when they'll be home. That's just courtesy (and safety) to others living in the same house. My kids, now 16 annd 17, don't have a curfew, but if they stay out too late I let them know. My 16 year old needs to be 'reminded' more than the 17 year old.

If you (this is the universal YOU, not a specific YOU) decide to allow your kids to travel around the ship solo, make sure they know basic rules of courtesy - no pushing on to elevators, no jumping in line at the beverage station, no pushing all the buttons of the elevator. There were only 200 kids on my last cruise, most of them babies or toddlers, and yet the few that were there acted like they'd never been in public before, shouting in the halls, on the decks, in the restaurants. I would be embarassed if my kids acted that way.

Nancy
neg58 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2013, 05:10 PM   #77
gilsan
DIS Veteran
 
gilsan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Shore NS
Posts: 1,334

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogillio View Post
I don't think anyone walks the perfect parenting line between being over protective and under protective. We all do our best based on what we know about the world and what we know about our children.

The hardest thing about parenting IMO is pulling back a little....taking the training wheels off.....letting them go to the mall with friends....letting them drive the car...first date....spend the night with friends....go camping with his buddies.....going to girl scout summer camp....

We want to protect our children but we also want to prepare them to face the real world. Be too protective and you will find yourseld sending a 'child' off to college instead of a young adult. Not be protective enough and we put them in a situation they are not prepared for yet.

Read the various opinions on the matter but in the end, trust your instincts as a parent. Only you know your child.
Well said, I think that this is one of the hardest parts of parenting.
__________________


2009 POFQ, 2010 Grand Floridian, 2011 Wilderness Lodge, 2012 BC/Dream Cruise/Poly, 2012 Halloween Fantasy Cruise, 2013 AKV, 2014 SSR/Eastbound Transatlantic Cruise2015 Eastbound Transatlantic Mmmm....Cake, 9 nights of Deluxe Dining w/Pictures
gilsan is offline   Reply With Quote
|
The DIS
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 05-28-2013, 11:01 PM   #78
Topscot
Mouseketeer
 
Topscot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pleasanton, Ca
Posts: 390

Quote:
Originally Posted by SapphireMind View Post
Your child is far more likely to molested by a family member or friend than by a stranger. You cannot prevent all bad things from happening to your child, no matter what you do. You can teach them to try and prevent putting themselves in potentially perilous situations, and you can deal with fallout when it happens, but you can't keep them in a bubble either. Well you could I guess, but it wouldn't be good for them either.

Reasonable precautions are reasonable. Every family is going to decide what they think is reasonable and what their child can handle. Some parents will think others are crazy, but in the end, it is their family, not yours. When I was 12, I was allowed to roam freely in the condo complex where we vacationed and literally stay out all night and sleep during the day. (very fair skin and lots of sun didn't mesh well) my parents trusted me not to go to the ocean. They trusted me by the pool and with the friends I met. Tons of bad things could have happened. Likely? not really.

There are people who get molested by doctors. I'm not going to stop seeing doctors. There are people who get molested by teachers. I'm not going to stop sending them to school. On and on. That's my philosophy, ymmv
Very well said.
__________________
Me (43) , DH (45) , DD (10)

3/31/11 - 4/1/11 POR
4/2/11 - 4/9/11 DCL Western

Topscot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2013, 11:05 PM   #79
Topscot
Mouseketeer
 
Topscot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pleasanton, Ca
Posts: 390

Quote:
Originally Posted by JnDRader View Post
We went through this on our first cruise last year. DD had just turned 10 the month before. We tried the lab but she was probably the oldest kid in there and bored to the point she wasn't having fun. We gave her check out privileges and a wave phone.

Couldn't have gone better from that point. She constantly called us to let us know where she was, what she was planning to do, and if her plans changed. She'd also call if her roaming buddy had to to go so she could meet up with us. For the aquaduck she knew to leave the phone in the stateroom and to go right back and get it when she was done.

We've since been on another cruise and she did great then as well. She's never been late meeting us. She also knows the rules about not going into anyone else's stateroom. She's got a good head on her shoulders. We still worry though .
I think that it's a great way for a kid to prove responsibility. She would have to keep in almost constant contact with me to be allowed very far away on the ship.
__________________
Me (43) , DH (45) , DD (10)

3/31/11 - 4/1/11 POR
4/2/11 - 4/9/11 DCL Western

Topscot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2013, 11:07 PM   #80
Topscot
Mouseketeer
 
Topscot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pleasanton, Ca
Posts: 390

Quote:
Originally Posted by su_A_ve View Post
When it's appropriate...

* Let them ride the bicycle by themselves
* Let them hang out at the mall with friends
* Let them go to the local basketball court on their own
* Let them go to the amusement park on their own

The ship is not a 'secure' environment. It's a combination of different types of public spaces and with that comes it's own dangers.
How is a cruise ship any different from an amusement park? Isn't the park worse because some creep could have his car in the parking lot and drive off with your kid.
__________________
Me (43) , DH (45) , DD (10)

3/31/11 - 4/1/11 POR
4/2/11 - 4/9/11 DCL Western

Topscot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2013, 11:12 PM   #81
Topscot
Mouseketeer
 
Topscot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pleasanton, Ca
Posts: 390

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogillio View Post
I don't think anyone walks the perfect parenting line between being over protective and under protective. We all do our best based on what we know about the world and what we know about our children.

The hardest thing about parenting IMO is pulling back a little....taking the training wheels off.....letting them go to the mall with friends....letting them drive the car...first date....spend the night with friends....go camping with his buddies.....going to girl scout summer camp....

We want to protect our children but we also want to prepare them to face the real world. Be too protective and you will find yourseld sending a 'child' off to college instead of a young adult. Not be protective enough and we put them in a situation they are not prepared for yet.

Read the various opinions on the matter but in the end, trust your instincts as a parent. Only you know your child.
Yep, this is exactly what I am going through right now. She has been going to Girl Scout camp since age 6. I don't know those camp counselors, anything could happen there. So does that mean I don't send her? No, I understand that something horrible could happen at anytime, but I can't keep her tied to me forever.
__________________
Me (43) , DH (45) , DD (10)

3/31/11 - 4/1/11 POR
4/2/11 - 4/9/11 DCL Western

Topscot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2013, 11:43 PM   #82
Topscot
Mouseketeer
 
Topscot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pleasanton, Ca
Posts: 390

Quote:
Originally Posted by TDC Nala View Post
If they are old enough to understand and follow basic safety procedures, such as: they stay together, they do not go into a non-public space with anybody no matter what they say, they do not go into anyone else's stateroom, and they do not allow anyone into their own stateroom, they'll most likely be OK if they keep their wave phones with them.

You know your own kids and you know if they are likely to be able to keep track of the wave phone and to follow your directions.

I think these are great rules! Good place to start when talking to the girls.


I just want to thank everyone for the great replies. I read every single one of them and took everyone's opinions to heart. Everyone had valid points and different experiences. I grew up in Canada during the 70's/ 80's and was out of the house from morning until dark. My parents never knew where I was. Come to find out that one of Canada's worst serial killers was also growing up blocks away and ended going to school with my sister. I would walk home from my job at Wendy's where I would get off at 2am, while this creep was starting to attack girls in the area. Stupid thing to do, I know, but there was no way I could ask my parents to pick me up. Just wasn't done in my family. I was scared to death and hyperaware as I walked down the street.

Now I have an only DD who is struggling with wanting independence. This was a kid who I just recently started allowing to play in front of the house and ride her bike to school. I have told her every horror story about kids being abducted that's come across the news, hoping that she'll be safe. All I can do is inform her what to do in different situations and hope to God she stays safe. I think a little bit of freedom on the ship will be good for her. She'll have lots of rules, but I will be able to loosen that tie a little bit. She will be with her best friend and they watch out for each other. She is a very well mannered girl, so I don't worry about her acting inappropriately or rudely towards other passengers. I trust her, it's the other people I don't trust. But she can't stay a child forever. Better to learn in baby steps than 1 big disaster when she goes off to college.

There is a great article regarding the different parenting styles of American and European parents that my DH pointed me to (he is from Scotland). Doesn't talk so much about the risks of kids and child molesters, but more about letting kids experience life in order to help them become responsible, well-rounded adults.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christ...b_3202328.html
__________________
Me (43) , DH (45) , DD (10)

3/31/11 - 4/1/11 POR
4/2/11 - 4/9/11 DCL Western

Topscot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-29-2013, 04:47 AM   #83
Bonniec
DIS Veteran
 
Bonniec's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 2,768

I say it's just different parenting styles. My husband is also from Scotland and he is far more protecting than I am.
__________________
Bonniec is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-29-2013, 06:05 AM   #84
JnDRader
Mouseketeer
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Outside Atlanta
Posts: 360

Growing up if I didn't make myself disappear outside my butt got stuck doing chores ! We spent all day outside frequently blocks away from the house. This was as a 6-9 year old. As we got older it transitioned to miles from the house. We struggle now letting our now 11yo daughter ride her bike out of ear shot. She does go into a wooded "green" area behind our house regularly though. But then she has her bow and arrows then.

The ship is a controlled environment and about as secure as anything outside a home. We feel better about letting her roam there, with a friend, then we would at an amusement park or resort. It's a place where she can put to practice things we've taught her on how to behave. Or not . We have to start giving her enough slack to learn how to interact with others on her own. She knows the rules, she knows to be aware, and she knows to stay in touch. Honestly a DCL cruise ship is about a perfect place as we could find to let her gain some measure of independence while keeping our peace of mind. Can something bad happen? Yes. Is it likely to? Nope.
__________________


JnDRader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2013, 10:50 PM   #85
klineyqueen
I live in the country where nothing much happens
 
klineyqueen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Schuylkill Haven, PA
Posts: 7,965

My DS is 10 and asked me if he would have roaming privileges and be allowed to sign himself out of the club. I just gave him a look of "yeah right." The only place he can freely roam is the baseball field where he plays - and I can pretty much see every inch of it. I am not about to start free roaming on a cruise ship - at least not at 10. But to each their own. As one previous poster stated....if even for my own sanity. I don't want to have to worry about their safety. But Good Luck with whatever you choose.
__________________
Brandi - DH ME DS (10) DD (8)

1991 - offsite w/ parents 1991 - offsite w/ band 1995 - ASMu 2002 - Caribbean Beach and 3 day Wonder 1/17/04 - Western Cruise-Magic 12/04 - Christmas in Disney8/05 - Pop Century 12/06- Double Dip Magic Cruise w/ POP & ASMu 6/07- Celebrated Mom's 50th Birthday - ASMo Trip for Free Meal Plan 8/07 - POP 6/09 - 12 days at POP8/12 Pop11/13 Fantastic Fantasy
klineyqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2013, 10:53 PM   #86
klineyqueen
I live in the country where nothing much happens
 
klineyqueen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Schuylkill Haven, PA
Posts: 7,965

Quote:
Originally Posted by klineyqueen View Post
My DS is 10 and asked me if he would have roaming privileges and be allowed to sign himself out of the club. I just gave him a look of "yeah right." The only place he can freely roam is the baseball field where he plays - and I can pretty much see every inch of it. I am not about to start free roaming on a cruise ship - at least not at 10. But to each their own. As one previous poster stated....if even for my own sanity. I don't want to have to worry about their safety. But Good Luck with whatever you choose.
I must add....I am sending them each to church summer camp this year. I sent my son last year and I missed him terribly. I do know they need to spread their wings. But it has to be baby steps!
__________________
Brandi - DH ME DS (10) DD (8)

1991 - offsite w/ parents 1991 - offsite w/ band 1995 - ASMu 2002 - Caribbean Beach and 3 day Wonder 1/17/04 - Western Cruise-Magic 12/04 - Christmas in Disney8/05 - Pop Century 12/06- Double Dip Magic Cruise w/ POP & ASMu 6/07- Celebrated Mom's 50th Birthday - ASMo Trip for Free Meal Plan 8/07 - POP 6/09 - 12 days at POP8/12 Pop11/13 Fantastic Fantasy
klineyqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2013, 11:25 PM   #87
ashley0139
DIS Veteran
 
ashley0139's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: LA
Posts: 1,287

My family went on our first cruise when I was 11. There were no phones or pagers then. I had pretty much full freedom, signing myself out of the club, whatever. I remember a group of doing scavenger hunts during the kids program and going in and out of each others rooms and running around the ship looking for stuff. So much fun! I also went to lunch in the buffet by myself when my friends had to go somewhere else. I loved having that freedom on the ship. I still remember my mom telling me how proud she was of me for being so responsible and going and eating by myself even though no one was with me. I don't have kids yet, but I remember that cruise and my freedom so clearly, I would love to give them that freedom in the future. And now with Wave phones it's even better.
__________________
All Star Movies October 7-13, 2009

Pre-Trip Report 2009: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2293006

Pop Century October 19-26, 2011

Pre-Trip Report 2011: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2796928
Trip Report 2011:http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2867080
ashley0139 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2013, 11:33 PM   #88
yaddakal
Mouseketeer
 
yaddakal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 408

To each its own in this one. I would not let my soon to be ten year old roam, mainly because of the pool. There are no lifeguards and I would never forgive myself if something happened. My son was on the swim team and is awesome but the crowds plus no lifeguards plus most parents not watching freaks me out:-(
__________________
Kerry

Disney All Star Movies May 2009
Disney Port Orleans Riverside 2010
Disney Coronado Springs/Dream Cruise May 2013
Booked for Fantasy August 2014
yaddakal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2013, 07:33 AM   #89
Bonniec
DIS Veteran
 
Bonniec's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 2,768

I don't think the ship is a secured environment at all. I think it gives the illusion because they can't drive away with your kids and Disney has the additional illusion of the bubble. What better place for a pedo to work? With most of the employees coming from other countries there is no way they are doing background checks. There are a lot of stories out there about things happening to kids on cruise ships. And it's not the pools (other than the one), its the employees grabbing the kids. Even one about a 16 year old being raped in her very own stateroom by the stateroom host.

I'm not saying these things can't happen anywhere and parents have to do what they think is best. But I have to cringe at all the posts saying a cruise is safer and it's the perfect place to allow kids to test their freedom. I'm sure the pedophiles think the same thing. No way would I allow a 9 or 10 year old to go off alone.
__________________
Bonniec is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2013, 11:29 AM   #90
expeditioneverestgrl
DIS Veteran
 
expeditioneverestgrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 8 hours from WDW
Posts: 1,364

Are the ten yo and nine yo mature enough to roam around the ship?
__________________
I can never pick my favorite ride at Disney World. Ok...Splash Mountain!
expeditioneverestgrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
GET OUR DIS UPDATES DELIVERED BY EMAIL



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:45 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.