Disney Information Station Logo

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Just for Fun > Community Board
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
 
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS UpdatesDIS email updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read





Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 06-19-2013, 01:18 PM   #46
quandrea
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,408

Quote:
Originally Posted by joedplumber View Post
I will stick with my situation. Both me and my DW work full time. The kids went to daycare 2 days a week and our parents watched them the other 3 days. Considering that my values are the ones my parents instilled in me I have no problems with them instilling them into our children.

I believe it takes a village to raise a child!
Did your mom work full time? I don't think it's up to grandparents to raise their grand kids while the parents work to support the two income trap. I know of many grandparents who do it while secretly voicing the utter exhaustion it causes. It does take a village but grandparents have historically been there to step in on occasion when mum and dad can't be there.
quandrea is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 01:21 PM   #47
PrincessKsMom

OMG you should see me when I'm driving
I'm pretty sure the minute I open my mouth no one would have to ask the question
 
PrincessKsMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 12,138

Quote:
Originally Posted by quandrea View Post
Did your mom work full time? I don't think it's up to grandparents to raise their grand kids while the parents work to support the two income trap. I know of many grandparents who do it while secretly voicing the utter exhaustion it causes. It does take a village but grandparents have historically been there to step in on occasion when mum and dad can't be there.
And just as DLgal said, if she didn't want to volunteer she should have said something. If Joe's parents didn't want to spend time with the grandchild, they should have said something.
__________________
7/79 - Off site; 7/80 - Off site; 11/98 - Off site; 1/05 - CBR; 2/06 - ASMovies; 8/08 - ASMovies; 8/09 - CBR; 4/10 - CBR

Stolen from SCHBR'sMom, who stole it from Wickey, who stole it from Kimmar.
LETS ALL DO THE BROONY \ 0 / TagGate 2011
PrincessKsMom is offline   Reply With Quote
|
The DIS
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 06-19-2013, 01:22 PM   #48
DebD4T
I cannot sleep in an unmade bed. If for some reason my bed is not made, I have to make it before I get into it to go to sleep
My money must all face the same way in order of denomination
Lik
 
DebD4T's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Staten Island, NY
Posts: 889

Quote:
Originally Posted by quandrea View Post
This is interesting. My dh always says school is in part a babysitting service. As a teacher I never really believed it until I homeschooled my dd this year. We finished two grades in about two thirds of the year. So I guess those long hours at school are really about child are. Especially when they roll out all day kindergarten.
But to be fair, you were only teaching to your child/ren. A teacher has to teach to multiple students who all learn at different levels. If you are a teacher how can you not see the difference?

And kindergarten is now teaching students to read and write. It seems to lean more towards education/academics than arts and crafts and story time.
__________________
DebD4T is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 01:24 PM   #49
joedplumber
Love Vacationing!
 
joedplumber's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 257

Actually, my grandparents watched me and my brother when I was growing up. My parent's would take great offense if I told them they didn't need to watch the kids anymore.

We just happen to have a very tight knit family... Also, my sister-in-law who is a teacher enjoys taking my kids to the beach each week in the summer.

It's a big village. lol

But, now the kids are older 8 & 5 and I think they are more helpers than anything else. They really enjoy tending to the garden in the summer with my parents...
joedplumber is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 01:27 PM   #50
quandrea
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,408

Quote:
Originally Posted by DebD4T View Post
But to be fair, you were only teaching to your child/ren. A teacher has to teach to multiple students who all learn at different levels. If you are a teacher how can you not see the difference?

And kindergarten is now teaching students to read and write. It seems to lean more towards education/academics than arts and crafts and story time.
As I teacher I know first hand the hours that are wasted each day with off task behaviours and poor transitions. I worked in admin so I observed a lot it, can't be chalked up to my poor classroom management.

Unfortunately in Canada we have just moved to play based kindergarten where classes can have as many as thirty six kids. Concrete teaching is not happening any more. Perhaps you are more fortunate in the states.
quandrea is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 01:28 PM   #51
ICF
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4,056

This will end well --- just wanted to get in before the lock.

ICF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 01:30 PM   #52
joedplumber
Love Vacationing!
 
joedplumber's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 257

Quote:
Originally Posted by ICF View Post
This will end well --- just wanted to get in before the lock.

joedplumber is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 01:31 PM   #53
ellone
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 893

After reading the article my opinion is that the woman is probably upset that the job she had before she became a SAHM no longer exists. She said she was a floor trader for bank. Banks really no longer needs those since the majority of trades are now made by computer algorithms.
ellone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 01:45 PM   #54
NotUrsula
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: USA
Posts: 14,931

Quote:
Originally Posted by DLgal View Post
The author of this article seems really materialistic and overly concerned about money and status.

No wonder she thinks she made a mistake.

Money isn't everything.
She was a floor trader at a major bank -- that is (or rather, was) an incredibly high-pressure job that was compensated with very high pay.

What I saw in that is that this banker (who presumably had some sort of financial degree), did not consider the option of stepping back her career to something still in her field, but lower-stress, such as a job in a regular corporation's finance dept., or working in consumer lending at a small bank.

She jumped when she should have walked slowly, and that's the idiotic mistake that she now regrets so much.
NotUrsula is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 02:03 PM   #55
joedplumber
Love Vacationing!
 
joedplumber's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 257

I have a few questions about SAHM. I think that is a personal choice and to each their own.

1) Do most SAHM never return to the workforce?
2) If they do return, what are the children's typical age when they do return?


Just curious above all else.
joedplumber is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 02:10 PM   #56
Conservative Hippie
You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
My DH is a nuclear physicist...can you say weirdo???
 
Conservative Hippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: NE Polk County, FL
Posts: 6,449

Quote:
Originally Posted by joedplumber View Post
I have a few questions about SAHM. I think that is a personal choice and to each their own.

1) Do most SAHM never return to the workforce?
2) If they do return, what are the children's typical age when they do return?


Just curious above all else.
This depends a lot on whether you homeschool or not.

I have managed to stay somewhat active in my field, although it's not exactly a typical career path.
__________________
Me ~*~DH ~*~DD (6) ~*~DS (3) ~*~#3 (due 3/8/14)
4 WDW vacations from 2003-2006~*~450 days spent at WDW since 2007~*~2 DCL Cruises since 2011

Conservative Hippie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 02:16 PM   #57
mrsklamc
I apologize in advance, but what is a click clack?
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Husker living in Hoosierland.
Posts: 9,500

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsklamc View Post
It seems MOST of the things the woman in the article is complaining about don't really have to do with her decision to be a SAHM. She got 'sucked' into volunteer work....um, if you didn't have enough of a spine to say 'no' when you didn't want to do something, that has nothing to do with being a SAHM. There is no law against keeping up on technology w/o being paid for it. Her world narrowed...she helicopter parented....those were all choices she could have made differently, while still being a SAHM.

As for letting down those who came before her.....feminism was supposed to be about choices, not about invalidating choices.
In addition, if your DH works full time and you don't have a job you get paid for-- you darn well SHOULD be the one picking up the dry cleaning, etc, so the working spouse gets to maximize the time they have with the family when they are home. She gets zero sympathy on that from me.
mrsklamc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 02:20 PM   #58
ZephyrHawk
I can nicker too, but I'm not nearly as embarrassed about that
Please don't ski with your kid on a leash
I firmly believe in ghostly figments of my imagination
 
ZephyrHawk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4,664

Quote:
Originally Posted by Conservative Hippie View Post
Do you think that a child is better off "raised" by a teacher/daycare worker/babysitter with an early education degree than by a parent with no education degree?
I dunno, I merely question why other people assume one way or the other. I have a JD. As of yet, I don't think it's particularly helped me raise my child. And I don't believe that someone is "innately" qualified to raise a child just by virtue of giving birth to them (or fathering them, as the case may be). What makes me a better "mom" than someone who runs a daycare? What about my friend who has a degree in early childhood education and has chosen to be a SAHM - is she like a "supermom"?
__________________
"I only hope that we don't lose sight of one thing - that it was all started by a rabbit"
~ Unofficial Oswald the Lucky Rabbit Fanclub member


Polynesian Village (1983), Polynesian Village (1986), Grand Floridian (1989), All Star Sports (1997), Disneyland (1998), All Star Movies (2000), Port Orleans - French Quarter (2001), All Star Music (2002), Disneyland (2004), Wilderness Lodge (2007), Pop Century (2010), Saratoga Springs (2013), and Disney Land and Sea Extravaganza (coming Nov/Dec 2015)
ZephyrHawk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 02:26 PM   #59
A_Princess'_Daddy
DIS Veteran
 
A_Princess'_Daddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,173

Quote:
Originally Posted by quandrea View Post
This article is sad. I think that so much of what ails society can be traced to two parent working families. I know I am starting something up but I believe it. Children need time--the time of one parent home. I am not naive enough to think we will ever go back to that but kids identify with peers more than parents now because there is little attachment parenting. Attachment parenting doesn't happen between six and eight in the evenings. It is in the mundane hours day in day out. Is it a sacrifice? Perhaps. But no one said raising kids wasn't work. Most things worth having are work.

I am highly educated and don't feel for a second that I erred in staying home. Will my job be done some day? Yes. Then DH and I will begin another chapter. Was it an expensive choice? Financially, yes, but so what. My earning potential is not even a thought when compared to raising my own three children. I didn't have them to delegate the job. They deserve better than that.
What about the studies that indicate parents today are spending MORE time with their children than parents in those mythical golden years? How does that square with your theory?

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/...rk-and-family/

Quote:
Originally Posted by Conservative Hippie View Post
If I had a nickel for every time I have heard "I wish we could afford for me to stay home" or something to that effect.....We are not rich. I wouldn't even say "well-off." We have to budget and go without things, but we do this because we think it's best. Obviously I think it is best if I stay home with my kids, otherwise I wouldn't do it!
I'm sure those comments must get old for you! To be blunt, for my DW and me, we could very easily stay home on just one of our salaries, without impacting our quality of life in any way. We just know in our hearts, just as you know in your heart that your being home with your children is the right thing to do, that our choice to both work full time is the right thing for our children and for our family. It has nothing to do with finances--I feel so badly for those people for whom working is NOT a choice but a requirement--and it has nothing to do with our love for our children, which is as deep and unabiding as yours is for your children. It has to do with the fact that we are not well suited to be teachers in the academic sense. I adore my children as much as anybody on this board, but they are experiencing richer and deeper childhoods with nannies, Montessori teachers and educational professionals who are better at those things than I am, just as I am better at private equity investing than they are. I am not so narcissistic as to think that I can do everything better than anybody else, and in the area of full-time child care, I am NOT the strongest candidate in the market.
__________________
DW Me DD DS
BWV 5/22/10-5/30/10 & 3/12/11-3/19/11, AKV 11/18/11-11/27/11, BWV 2/23/12-2/27/12, BLT 3/16/12-3/25/12, Many trips before, too many to try to count
A_Princess'_Daddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2013, 02:28 PM   #60
scoutie
DIS Veteran
 
scoutie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chicago Suburbs
Posts: 753

Quote:
I think that so much of what ails society can be traced to two parent working families. I know I am starting something up but I believe it. Children need time--the time of one parent home
Ah, yes. The only quality time that can happen is when it happens between the hours of 7:30 and 3:30. Or 9:00 and 5:00 from Monday to Friday. That's such a small minded way to view things.

Mothers (WOHM and SAHM) actually spend more time with their kids NOW than they did in the 1950s. Fathers tripled their time. Many parents now have overlapping schedules, so they can spend more time with their children. Most working parents I know do everything they can to spend as much time with their kids as possible. One family in our neighborhood works split shifts. It's stressful on their marriage, though, as they never see each other.

I get so sick of this SAH vs WOH thing on this board. Each time, I say I'm not going to get into it, and then I always do. I don't encounter this attitude in my life at all. I have SAHM friends and WOHM friends. We all do what's best for our families and our children. All of our children are thriving and well loved.

I'm a teacher, and so I am home with the kids all summer. Right now, my older kids are outside playing with their friends and my toddler is taking a nap. If I were working....they would be at school, and the toddler would be taking a nap. My kids don't suffer when I'm at home or when I'm at work. There is zero difference between the way they act when I'm home versus when I'm working. They thrive in both environments. My kids don't languish away in daycare....in fact....the older two don't go to any sort of after school care at all. I make my schedule work so I'm home in time to get them off the bus. My toddler is cared for by the next door neighbor, who is a loving grandmother. He's also learning a second language while she cares for him. When my older two were younger, they did go to daycare (30 hours a week) while I worked. They didn't languish either. They learned Spanish, learned about music, made friends of different ethnicities. They were cared for by loving people. They've grown up to be kind, caring, intelligent kids. Such a tragic situation for my kids. The ruin of society for sure.

Last edited by scoutie; 06-19-2013 at 02:48 PM.
scoutie is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
GET OUR DIS UPDATES DELIVERED BY EMAIL



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:49 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.