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Old 06-19-2013, 10:43 AM   #16
RitaE
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Originally Posted by NC Disney Fan View Post
I have not been a member of the DIS boards for long but, while I have seen some wonderful help, I have also seen a multitude of very SNARKY responses.

This happened on one of my questions that I posted and it got downright rude as I asked question about upgrades. I have also seen it on a plethora of other posts.

Please think about the fact that people are on here just asking for guidance. And, of course, there are so many opinions on subjects that we are not all going to agree to the response given. However, this is no reason to get nasty.

I have been especially horrified when I have seen this on questions from the UK. I can well imagine that this kind of behavior on here just solidifies the bad rep that Americans can have.

Be kind, be helpful and if you can't be, don't respond.
Why thank you.

Since I was born without a conscience of my own it is always helpful when somebody else comes along and gives out yet another "Everything I Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten!" lecture.
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:44 AM   #17
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Now you see OP that there is plenty of snark here right now but none of it is illogical. Don't take it personally!
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:44 AM   #18
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:55 AM   #19
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Ironically, 90% of the truly rude and abrasive posts I see on the DIS are by OPs getting angry and defensive when they ask for advice or opinions and then don't like what the see and lash out. Usually those posts involve calling perfectly reasonable and polite posts "rude" or "mean" or even "bullying" for no other reason than someone has an opinion the OP dislikes.

I love the discussions and variety of view points on the DIS and hope that it never turns into a place where people are afraid to disagree for fear of being seen as unpleasant. Sometimes the truth as others see it is unpleasant--but that is part of having multiple view points.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:01 AM   #20
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This is why I think twice before starting a thread asking for opinions.
But really, do people have to be downright mean?
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:09 AM   #21
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:10 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RitaE View Post
Why thank you.

Since I was born without a conscience of my own it is always helpful when somebody else comes along and gives out yet another "Everything I Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten!" lecture.
Exactly! I love when people feel the need to sit everyone down and lecture them about the correct (their) way of responding to others. Are there people here who are often nasty? Absolutely. There are also people who are offended at the slightest hint of disagreement or suggestion. That's what happens when you have a bunch of personality types discussing a number of hot topics.

I find posts like this just as obnoxious as the nasty ones.

Oh, and I would hate for my post to be construed as rude so here's some pixie dust for good measure:

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Old 06-19-2013, 11:16 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by WDSearcher View Post
And you're also setting yourself up for a lot of responses along the line of (as my great-grandfather used to say), "who made you king?"


I personally enjoy the snarky responses. It would make for a pretty boring discussion board if everyone were nice and supportive 100% of the time. Should I post a thread asking people to be more sarcastic? Hmmm...
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:19 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by njmom47 View Post
This is why I think twice before starting a thread asking for opinions.
But really, do people have to be downright mean?
Yes, actually, some people do have to be downright mean. Some people have no filter, some don't realize how they're coming across, some just don't know how to temper a response to provide an opinion without an attitude. And some people come here to be downright mean because they can. It's anonymous and they see it as fun and entertaining.

In fact, it's exactly the same as in real life! Some people are nice, some are neutral, some are nasty. Welcome to humanity.

If you would never in a million years walk into a roomful of strangers and ask for opinions on a personal matter, then don't do it here. If you DO decide to wander into this cyber-roomful of total strangers and ask for opinions, realize that you're going to end up with some constructive and well thought-out responses, some annoying "more questions than answers" types of responses, and some downright nasty "how much fun can I have with this person" responses. It's up to you as the asker to filter out the ones that are helpful and ignore the ones who are trying to get a rise out of you. There is no place on earth -- from a therapist's office to your family dinner table to the home of your most beloved friend -- where you will ALWAYS get 100% support and understanding and NEVER get anything you perceive as inappropriate or rude. And if you're not going to get automatic support from people who know and love you, you're sure as heck not going to get it from a bunch of strangers.

On the flip side, though? A place like the DIS is absolutely perfect when you want no-holds-barred honest responses and you're willing to provide enough information to get everyone to understand what it is you're trying to resolve. IMO, the people who most often end up with an avalanche of negative responses are those who forget that (a) every story has more than just their side; and (b) the only information we have to work with is what we're given.

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Old 06-19-2013, 11:19 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by DisneyChula View Post
Exactly! I love when people feel the need to sit everyone down and lecture them about the correct (their) way of responding to others. Are there people here who are often nasty? Absolutely. There are also people who are offended at the slightest hint of disagreement or suggestion. That's what happens when you have a bunch of personality types discussing a number of hot topics.

I find posts like this just as obnoxious as the nasty ones.

Oh, and I would hate for my post to be construed as rude so here's some pixie dust for good measure:

Wow, I am out of here. I was not lecturing nor trying to teach anyone. But thank you all for showing just what I was talking about. Civility is a lost art. I am neither offended nor too sensitive but you have proven that what I said was true. Whether to this response or that to "which restaurant should I go to in MK" I am sure that many people will show that they have the inability to respond in a manner befitting that of a helpful response or even one of a differing opinion done with humility. I suppose I will think twice about ever posting again for fear of being torn a new one. Thanks for the eye opener.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:21 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WDSearcher View Post
Yes, actually, some people do have to be downright mean. Some people have no filter, some don't realize how they're coming across, some just don't know how to temper a response to provide an opinion without an attitude. And some people come here to be downright mean because they can. It's anonymous and they see it as fun and entertaining.

In fact, it's exactly the same as in real life! Some people are nice, some are neutral, some are nasty. Welcome to humanity.

If you would never in a million years walk into a roomful of strangers and ask for opinions on a personal matter, then don't do it here. If you DO decide to wander into this cyber-roomful of total strangers and ask for opinions, realize that you're going to end up with some constructive and well thought-out responses, some annoying "more questions than answers" types of responses, and some downright nasty "how much fun can I have with this person" responses. It's up to you as the asker to filter out the ones that are helpful and ignore the ones who are trying to get a rise out of you. There is no place on earth -- from a therapist's office to your family dinner table to the home of your most beloved friend -- where you will ALWAYS get 100% support and understanding and NEVER get anything you perceive as inappropriate or rude. And if you're not going to get automatic support from people who know and love you, you're sure as heck not going to get it from a bunch of strangers.

On the flip side, though? A place like the DIS is absolutely perfect when you want no-holds-barred honest responses and you're willing to provide enough information to get everyone to understand what it is you're trying to resolve. IMO, the people who most often end up with an avalanche of negative responses are those who forget that (a) every story has more than just their side; and (b) the only information we have to work with is what we're given.

or (c) forget that they have already, in the last 2 months, posted 6 other things that totally contradict what they are now saying.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:23 AM   #27
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I did it for the lulz! *jazz hands*

'ceptin' that you spelled "the" wrong in yer poster there ... which kind of takes away from the instant recognition of it all ...

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Old 06-19-2013, 11:25 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NHdisneylover View Post
Ironically, 90% of the truly rude and abrasive posts I see on the DIS are by OPs getting angry and defensive when they ask for advice or opinions and then don't like what the see and lash out. Usually those posts involve calling perfectly reasonable and polite posts "rude" or "mean" or even "bullying" for no other reason than someone has an opinion the OP dislikes.

I love the discussions and variety of view points on the DIS and hope that it never turns into a place where people are afraid to disagree for fear of being seen as unpleasant. Sometimes the truth as others see it is unpleasant--but that is part of having multiple view points.


Quote:
Originally Posted by NC Disney Fan View Post
Wow, I am out of here. I was not lecturing nor trying to teach anyone. But thank you all for showing just what I was talking about. Civility is a lost art. I am neither offended nor too sensitive but you have proven that what I said was true. Whether to this response or that to "which restaurant should I go to in MK" I am sure that many people will show that they have the inability to respond in a manner befitting that of a helpful response or even one of a differing opinion done with humility. I suppose I will think twice about ever posting again for fear of being torn a new one. Thanks for the eye opener.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:27 AM   #29
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'ceptin' that you spelled "the" wrong in yer poster there ... which kind of takes away from the instant recognition of it all ...
Yeah, well, I was going with spoken vs. written. Also, you also have to sing it, which you don't really get very well through text.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:35 AM   #30
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Wow, I am out of here. I was not lecturing nor trying to teach anyone. But thank you all for showing just what I was talking about. Civility is a lost art. I am neither offended nor too sensitive but you have proven that what I said was true. Whether to this response or that to "which restaurant should I go to in MK" I am sure that many people will show that they have the inability to respond in a manner befitting that of a helpful response or even one of a differing opinion done with humility. I suppose I will think twice about ever posting again for fear of being torn a new one. Thanks for the eye opener.
I know you say you're out of here, but most people who say that do tend to come back out of curiosity if nothing else, so I'll take a chance and ask the question.

When you posted your original post, what kind of responses were you expecting? Did you think that everyone was going to say, "OMG -- you are so right -- I never thought of that. Thank you!" as if all everyone needed was your comments to make the lightbulb go off? I have to think that, on some level, you knew -- or at least anticipated -- that there would be some dissent and that you'd get some negativity. I mean ... what did you think was going to happen?

And to say that you weren't "lecturing nor trying to teach" rings a bit false, since you ended your post with:

Be kind, be helpful and if you can't be, don't respond.

Which would, even to a young child who had never been on a bulletin board in their life, be seen as a lesson or instruction on "how to behave".

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