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Old 06-19-2013, 11:26 AM   #10
2013 1/2 Marathon Finisher!!! Woohoo!!
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: East Tn
Posts: 15,731

Originally Posted by goofyintoronto View Post
Amen. Very well said.

One thing that I dont understand is when people say "move on, move out". First, its only been a year. Secondly, then what? You leave him cause you dont have a ring on your finger? Whats next? you date someone else, give him a one year deadline, then dump him as well? How many men will a woman go thru before she finds the guy that will propose after 6 months? So it truly doesnt matter who you marry, as long as you marry someone? Anyone?

For me , it isn't about the "hurry up and get married" part. I do not believe in rushing things either. I gave my ring back to DH 2x before we were married because I was trying to be sure and not ready to commit. So, for me, it is not that I think a year is too long. I think people need at least a year. At least. Just MHO. I just do not think she should live with him, with her child, when she is not really sre what direction this is really even headed--they sound like they are still in the "dating stage" and not really ready for marriage OR living together to me. Again, JMO. I think she sounds like she went into this home with the thought of, "I'll change him/his mind about all this." And that's the wrong thing to do.

I'd move out and keep dating him if I was in love with him.

Originally Posted by FireDancer View Post
I would never even consider marrying anyone whom I haven't lived with first. Full Stop. It is not even in the realm of possibility for me.
That's interesting. I would have never lived with anyone before marriage.

But hmmm...if I had, we would most likely not be together now. We had a rough 3 years of marriage so if there had not been a solid commitment, I would have left, I'm sure. Nothing major (fighting, violence, adultery, etc.), just a rough 3 years (more me than him). I stayed because of those vows (and I did truly love him, that was never an issue). If I had not taken those vows, I would have felt like leaving would be so much easier than working things out.
26 years later, I've had a wonderful marriage and a great life with my husband. But, it was a rough time in the beginning.
Brenda: DISing since 2/2000

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow
Shining at the end of everyday
There's a great big beautiful tomorrow
And tomorrow is just a dream away
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