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Old 06-19-2013, 10:25 AM   #1
Luv'sTink
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Why I Regret Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/grown-...b_3402691.html


I don't regret being a stay at home Mom. I don't think a daycare is the ideal place for children to be raised, but I do recognize that one parent staying home is not an option for everyone and some would rather work than be home.
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:39 AM   #2
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There are regrets enough to go around whatever choice you make. She made some valid points. I stayed home. It has definitely impacted our finances and my career possibilities. I could relate to everything she said. However, I do NOT regret staying home. For me, it was worth it! My guess is that there are lots of working moms who could list things they have regrets about as well, but probably most feel it was worth it also.

I think it's sad whenever people look back at their lives with regret, but it's not really a SAHM/WOHM thing.

It also drives me crazy when people think we should limit people's choices after women especially have worked for generations to HAVE choices. SAHM/WOHM, whatever works for your family IS A VALID CHOICE!
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:40 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luv'sTink View Post
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/grown-...b_3402691.html


I don't regret being a stay at home Mom. I don't think a daycare is the ideal place for children to be raised, but I do recognize that one parent staying home is not an option for everyone and some would rather work than be home.
A daycare doesn't raise children, parents do. I imagine a SAHM has someone else watch her kids on occasion to go to an appointment or just have a few hours of down time. In the big picture it really isn't much different.

To be honest the woman in the article makes some good points that all parents should consider when making childcare decisions. Pulling out of the workforce to stay home has an upside and a downside just as continuing to work does.
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:40 AM   #4
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Hindsight is 20/20. While I knew I would never have the opportunity stay home with my DD and I resented that for a long time, I am glad I came back to work when she was a baby. Getting back into the workforce after many years of being gone is much harder when you haven't kept up on techology or contacts. And while I missed out on every little thing my daughter did when she was young, neither of us regrets that I worked. I was able to give her things and experiences I would have been able to had I stayed home and I never resented giving it all up for her. And now that she'll be leaving for college in a year, where would I be? Most likely jobless with few prospects and stressing my future while hers is just beginning.

Everyone should do what they feel is best for them and their family. And some should realize how truly fortunate they are that they have the opportunity to make a decision about whether to stay home or not.
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:48 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Poohforyou View Post
A daycare doesn't raise children, parents do. I imagine a SAHM has someone else watch her kids on occasion to go to an appointment or just have a few hours of down time. In the big picture it really isn't much different.

To be honest the woman in the article makes some good points that all parents should consider when making childcare decisions. Pulling out of the workforce to stay home has an upside and a downside just as continuing to work does.
I will respectfully disagree with you. When children are spending more time in daycare than at home, the daycare workers are raising them, when they are very young. I don't consider sleeping as time spent with parents.
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:50 AM   #6
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There is a big, crazy world out there with options galore. It is too bad this mom didn't recognize that long before her kids were almost grown and she allowed all of that resentment to build up. It is very clear that she made the wrong decision. For all of her whining about what being a SAHM did to her, I am guessing her resentment also rubbed off on her children. As an adult, she was free to make other choices. She didn't. Oh well.
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:51 AM   #7
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And we're off to the Judgmental Races! I'm out.
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:52 AM   #8
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:53 AM   #9
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And we're off to the Judgmental Races! I'm out.
Isn't that the truth.
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:53 AM   #10
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I will respectfully disagree with you. When children are spending more time in daycare than at home, the daycare workers are raising them, when they are very young. I don't consider sleeping as time spent with parents.
I am not going to get into this debate, but I can guarantee you that I also never got someone to watch my kids for as many hours as they spend in a daycare. They went with me, or stayed home with their father. And I don't consider sleeping as time spent with parents either.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:00 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Luv'sTink View Post
I will respectfully disagree with you. When children are spending more time in daycare than at home, the daycare workers are raising them, when they are very young. I don't consider sleeping as time spent with parents.
Oh yay, a SAHM being judgemental about a working mom . I didn't see that coming .

Since you chose to stay home and never actually experienced daycare you have no 1st hand experience by which to base your oh so misguided opinion. Unless children are sleeping 15+ hours a day they are spending time daily with their parents.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:01 AM   #12
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Sounds like your standard article regarding the subject. Not a lot of new ground to be broken on this topic, it seems.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:08 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luv'sTink View Post
I will respectfully disagree with you. When children are spending more time in daycare than at home, the daycare workers are raising them, when they are very young. I don't consider sleeping as time spent with parents.
You aren't trying to be respectful with what you said, not even remotely! My mom went back to work when I was a baby and no babysitter I had ever came close to replacing my mom! She (and my dad) raised me and my brother! Your statement is only YOUR opinion and it is not fact. I guess there is one stay at home mom who got bored today! BTW, I'm a SAHM too!
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:09 AM   #14
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I will respectfully disagree with you. When children are spending more time in daycare than at home, the daycare workers are raising them, when they are very young. I don't consider sleeping as time spent with parents.
I've worked in daycare, and continue to work in early childhood education, and I have never encountered a child who spent more hours awake in daycare than they spent awake with parents. Most kids I know who are daycare age are awake about 84 hours a week. Most kids in daycare spend about 30 hours a week there awake, and about 10 asleep.
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:11 AM   #15
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And we're off to the Judgmental Races! I'm out.
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