Ths DIS is a great place to ask Disney Cruise Line questions and share tips.
Dreams Unlimited Travel - The official sponsor of the Disney Cruise Forums Dreams Unlimited Travel - the official sponsor of the Disney Cruise Forums  

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Disney Cruise Line > Disney Cruise Line Forum
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
 
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read



Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 05-27-2013, 11:25 AM   #46
luv2sleep
DIS Veteran
 
luv2sleep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 4,765

Quote:
Originally Posted by flyersfan1129

This may be DCL policy, but it was not OUR policy with our 11 year old son last year on the Fantasy. Unless it was an ORGANIZED outing, he was NOT to leave the tween club without notifying us, and then one of us would meet him. He had made some friends of the same age, and their parents had made the same rule, so we were OK if he was with one of them, and one of their parents met up with them. I have no doubt in my son; he is a very mature 11 and has had the fear of God put into him about "stranger danger", but it is not him I worry about. We had a sex offender move into our neighborhood over the STRENUOUS objections of all who live in our neighborhood...it only takes a minute.
Agreed. Love this idea and I'm going to implement it when the time comes. I also agree with the pps. You can give them all kinds of rules about when to call, what to shout, where to run, but that poor 11 year old girl was trapped in an elevator with that creep. Nothing she could do. If she had not been alone he wouldn't have fine that to her. The ship is a closed environment. Pedophiles could be watching to see which kids are free to roam, where they go, whet decks, hallways, and rooms they come from. Since you tend to see the same people over and over again on a ship, kids roaming alone without adult supervision make easy targets. It's not that, at the appropriate age, I wouldn't trust my kid. I just don't trust everyone else.
__________________
luv2sleep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 11:37 AM   #47
Tower
DIS Veteran
 
Tower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Mississauga, Ontario, CANADA
Posts: 1,576

On the Magic last November, DS was 11 and DD was 9. DD was disappointed that there were not many other DD9's in the lab so we gave her sign out priveledges to be with her brother on some activities. She ended up spending a lot of time with us as she's quite aware of the dangers of being alone and enjoys spending time with her parents. Loved walking the jogging track with us etc.
DS11 also enjoyed being able to come in and out.

We had a whiteboard in our room, rules of no room visiting and 2-way radio communication. Wave phones were not really an option for us as we found them too quiet to pay attention to and we didn't want to constantly be holding them/checking them. The Magic being a smaller ship allowed us to commmunicate pretty well with everyone that way. They worked great at the ports too!
__________________

Past Disney Visits:
Mar 28-Apr 5, 2004 - Off Site & Magic Kingdom
Nov 10-16, 2006 - Off Site & Magic Kingdom
Nov 8-14, 2008 - WDW All Star Movies Resort
Dec 3-12, 2009 - CBR & Disney Magic Eastern Caribbean 7-Day Tour!
Feb 1-10, 2012 - WDW Port Orleans Riverside
Nov 10-17, 2012 - Disney Magic Western Caribbean to Grand Cayman & Cozumel!
Nov 8-15, 2013 - Off Site & Magic Kingdom
Tower is offline   Reply With Quote
|
The DIS
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 05-27-2013, 11:56 AM   #48
abdmom
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,545

Hi Topscot!!

No. Way. Would I let a pair of 10 year old and 9 year old girls out of my sight on a cruise ship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by flateacher View Post
It is not my daughter or her judgement I don't trust... It is the other people on board.


If for no other reason than for what just came to light about the incident on the Dream.... no amount of teaching, coaching or explaining how to handle herself could save her from that situation... her knowing karate or to "Scream fire" isn't going to help her either.... that child (on the Dream) was touched before she knew what hit her (poor thing)....
I may let them be in a stateroom on their own, but that's it.

Watch this clickorlando

Read this Orlando Sentinel article

Ships are more dangerous than riding a bike to school.
abdmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 12:39 PM   #49
auntie
It's a really lovely way to spend the afternoon
THAT does sound good ;)
Everything I type sounds wierd today
I am the underwear fairy
 
auntie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 7,310

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorelei Lee View Post
Mine are 20 and 22, don't even want to take a cruise wirh Mom and Dad.

Have to admit I worry about them. But really!
I quite agree. while a parent never stops worrying, the clock can't be stopped. The best thing parents can do is to provide their children with the skills that will enable them to manuver through life (let alone a cruise ship) without mom and dad supervising their every move.
I have a 21 year old, and he doesn't want to vacation with us either. Having lived through this twice before, (he has older siblings) we are not offended. It's natural, and it means we are doing our job. They do come back around and we often take family vacations with our kids and their spouses.
(and we all have separate accomodations and our own space!) It works for us.

In regards to a 9 and 10 year old, I'm not sure I'd want them going to a pool alone. I also doubt my kids at that age would want to be in a kids club. However, that's probably just us. I do think that a bit older (ages 12/13) would probably be the age I'd feel comfortable letting them go off on their own a bit for short periods of time. (especially if they were together and had a way to keep in touch, like the wave phones)
__________________
~ Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?~ Clarence Oddbody

Last edited by auntie; 05-27-2013 at 12:44 PM.
auntie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 03:39 PM   #50
disney1990
Wow, it make my heart skip a beat
I'm going to miss these when the season ends
Lighting the Way to Paradise
 
disney1990's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Maryland
Posts: 10,186

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lorelei Lee View Post
Mine are 20 and 22, don't even want to take a cruise wirh Mom and Dad.

Have to admit I worry about them. But really!
Every parent, I think, worries about even their adult children. When our adult DD leaves to drive home (1-1/2 hours) late at night, she usually send me a text message when she arrives - "home" it says.

When we were on the ship, on occasion, we allowed our granddaughters (then 11 and 13) to sign out of the club to go to the show or to the MDR for dinner on the nights that we were at Palo. They knew the rules and stayed together.
__________________
Life is a Journey – remember to appreciate everyday -- be happy for this moment...this moment is your life



disney1990 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 03:46 PM   #51
jsolar
Mouseketeer
 
jsolar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Huntingdon Valley, PA
Posts: 365

My son was 9 when I let him 'roam' along with another (usually older) child. That being said, he is allowed to leave me and go to a specific place on the ship. He can't just wander around. The only caveat is he must contact me every half hour or so. Also, when I call him, he must answer. If not, he loses the privilege.
It has always worked for us.
__________________

Disney Cruise: Fantasy,6/27/15, Fantasy, 6/29/13, Fantasy, 6/23/12, Fantasy, 7/5/11, Dream, 8/17/10, Wonder, 8/22/09, Magic
Disney World: Disney's Beach Club, 06/27/14, Pop Century Resort, 6/24/05, All Star Sports Resort, 01/05/96, Polynesian Resort, 09/08/87
jsolar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 03:57 PM   #52
Topscot
Mouseketeer
 
Topscot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pleasanton, Ca
Posts: 390

Quote:
Originally Posted by abdmom View Post
Hi Topscot!!

No. Way. Would I let a pair of 10 year old and 9 year old girls out of my sight on a cruise ship.



I may let them be in a stateroom on their own, but that's it.

Watch this clickorlando

Read this Orlando Sentinel article

Ships are more dangerous than riding a bike to school.
Hi Abdmom! I have read the article. I don't think that age is going to change the risk of something like this happening on board. Look at what happened to that 16 year old. That being said, it was never my intention to allow my DD to wander by herself. She would only be allowed to go from one area to another with her friend, never leaving each other's side.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jsolar View Post
My son was 9 when I let him 'roam' along with another (usually older) child. That being said, he is allowed to leave me and go to a specific place on the ship. He can't just wander around. The only caveat is he must contact me every half hour or so. Also, when I call him, he must answer. If not, he loses the privilege.
It has always worked for us.
This is exactly what I was trying to ask about. I wouldn't be decks away from my DD. Probably on the same deck, just wanted to know the best way of keeping in touch if she is not within eyesight. People on this thread seem to think that I was intending to allow her to wander at all times of the day and night by herself, go to the MDR by herself. Never was my intention.
__________________
Me (43) , DH (45) , DD (10)

3/31/11 - 4/1/11 POR
4/2/11 - 4/9/11 DCL Western

Topscot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 04:12 PM   #53
kfamilylovesdisney
Wonder 05/2008 Wonder 05/2009
 
kfamilylovesdisney's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 157

I do not like that Disney doesn't require the tweens in Edge to be signed in and out. I think they are too young to be able to come and go as they please. It makes me more anxious while trying to enjoy vacation. When my children were younger we were more at ease knowing they were signed in to the kids clubs.

That being said, I will have one in Vibe (DD15) and two in Edge (DS13 and DS11) this cruise. My older two children are not allowed to leave the club without contacting us first and we must know exactly where they are going, with whom, and for how long AND we may not allow it depending on the circumstances and time of day/night. My 11 year old is not to leave the club at all. If my 11 year old leaves Edge (and we will spot check) he will be put into the kids club and will not have permission to sign himself in and out. He said he does not want to go to the kids club because on our last cruise when he was 9 there were mostly little kids an no one his age. I'm OK with him going to Edge IF he stays in the club and calls us to come get him if he wants to leave.

None of my children are to go near any of the pools without me or DH supervising them.

Lastly, DH and I personally escort our children to and from the club. Especially our DD who likes to stay there late. We do not want her walking back from the club on the ship alone at 1 AM at night.

I'm getting stressed just thinking about the logistics. When Disney allows kids this much freedom at younger ages (then most would normally have at a resort hotel) the kids expect it too (and I am not comfortable with it).
__________________
(DW) (DH) DD(15) DS(13) DS(11)

July 6, 2013 - Disney Fantasy Western Caribbean * June 26, 2011 - Disney Dream 5 Day * May 2009 - Disney Wonder 4 Day * May 2008 - Disney Wonder 3 Day

6/2012 BCV * 6/2011 AKV-Kidani * 8/2010 BLT * 5/2009 WLV * 5/2008 BWV * 5/2007 BCV * 1/2006 OKW

Last edited by kfamilylovesdisney; 05-30-2013 at 06:38 PM.
kfamilylovesdisney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 04:33 PM   #54
wwwosie
Mom by Day - Disney Freak by Night
 
wwwosie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 583

The waiter who molested the little girl must have a few brain cells missing, anyone could have witnessed what he did. This is the first time I have seen the video and didn't realize it was the cameras outside the elevators that caught him. Not defending Disney or the perpetrator, but this is an isolated incident, and, if you stop to think about it, it could have happened to a young or even old adult. We need to be vigilant for sure but we can't let an isolated incident make us fear everything. My main problem with some "free roaming" kids is the lack of respect for other people or public areas. But again, not all kids misbehave.
wwwosie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 08:54 PM   #55
SapphireMind
Mouseketeer
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 179

Your child is far more likely to molested by a family member or friend than by a stranger. You cannot prevent all bad things from happening to your child, no matter what you do. You can teach them to try and prevent putting themselves in potentially perilous situations, and you can deal with fallout when it happens, but you can't keep them in a bubble either. Well you could I guess, but it wouldn't be good for them either.

Reasonable precautions are reasonable. Every family is going to decide what they think is reasonable and what their child can handle. Some parents will think others are crazy, but in the end, it is their family, not yours. When I was 12, I was allowed to roam freely in the condo complex where we vacationed and literally stay out all night and sleep during the day. (very fair skin and lots of sun didn't mesh well) my parents trusted me not to go to the ocean. They trusted me by the pool and with the friends I met. Tons of bad things could have happened. Likely? not really.

There are people who get molested by doctors. I'm not going to stop seeing doctors. There are people who get molested by teachers. I'm not going to stop sending them to school. On and on. That's my philosophy, ymmv
__________________
RCI Independence of the Seas JoCo Cruise Crazy 4
Disney Wonder Feb 8-12 2009 // Carnival Magic May 6-13 2012 // RCI Freedom of the Seas Feb 10-17 2013 // Disney Magic May 10-18 2013
SapphireMind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 09:55 PM   #56
shmoogrrrl
Tigger Goddess
Has discovered the mysterious and elusive tag fairie
Has a fondness for 7624
 
shmoogrrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Denver, Colorado (New Transplant!)
Posts: 2,971

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonniec View Post
This is simply a curiosity to understand a different opinion and I don't mean it as a judgement, just genuine curiosity.

Those of you who will let them roam the ship at 8-12 years old all say things like "if they are mature enough", "they call immediately on the wave phone when changing locations"', "they check in at certain times". Do you not worry about situations like what just happened with the 11 year old or do you think it's too rare to happen? Just trying to understand the mindset because checking in with you wouldn't stop those situations from happening.

The more I read this thread the more dangerous I think cruise ships can be because clearly, people let heir guard down. What better place for a child molester to work?

On another note, I agree with the curmudgeon, lol. Add me to that list too because I would be annoyed at watched unsupervised kids acting up on the ship. I just don't get why vacation means to stop watching what they do.

Maybe I'm just too overprotective. Apparently DCL thinks it's okay or they wouldn't allow check out privileges or encourage parents to send kids to the MDRs unsupervised. But it just leaves me scratching my head.

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards
I said earlier that I would let my daughter, who will be 12 when we sail, go places with her 12 year old friend who will also be on the cruise. Specific places, not wondering aimlessly. From the room to the Edge, from Edge to the movie theater, from our room to the soda station and back to the room, etc....

The fact is, things like what happened to that girl happen everywhere, yet I don't lock my daughter in the house when we are at home. I let my daughter walk to school with friends (I admit that I do drive her if her friends aren't walking for some reason), she goes to the playground after school with her friends, and she walks home with them. So, from my standpoint, she and her friend walking to the club, or to grab a drink at the drink fountain isn't much of a difference. The distance is closer, even. There is NOTHING that you can do, short of keeping your child in your sight 24/7, to be sure that it never happens to them.

Now, with the swimming, I'm with people who don't let their kids go to the pool alone. I don't let her go without one of us at home, even though she is old enough this year (10 at our pool), so I certainly wouldn't let her do it on the ship. One of us will always be there for that.
__________________
shmoogrrrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 10:31 PM   #57
Ofinn
DIS Veteran
 
Ofinn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,237

You will get a lot of different answers(obviously). Everyone has different parenting styles. I don't consider it being a "lax parent" because you are comfortable giving your child some freedom and personal responsibility. I feel perfectly comfortable allowing my 9 and 10 year old to do self check in. They know they have to go straight back to the room. I also don't have a problem with them going to the movies, getting ice cream or riding the aqua duck by themselves. I think you have to go with whatever you feel comfortable with. I would not let other parents opinions alter the way you raise your children.
__________________
Ofinn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 10:44 PM   #58
MrsScooby
DIS Veteran
 
MrsScooby's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 4,402

Quote:
Originally Posted by Topscot View Post
Hi Abdmom! I have read the article. I don't think that age is going to change the risk of something like this happening on board. Look at what happened to that 16 year old. That being said, it was never my intention to allow my DD to wander by herself. She would only be allowed to go from one area to another with her friend, never leaving each other's side.



This is exactly what I was trying to ask about. I wouldn't be decks away from my DD. Probably on the same deck, just wanted to know the best way of keeping in touch if she is not within eyesight. People on this thread seem to think that I was intending to allow her to wander at all times of the day and night by herself, go to the MDR by herself. Never was my intention.
I think your question came at a sensitive time, right after the thread about the 11 year old child being cornered and touched in the elevator. But to be honest, any time there is a question about what is ok for kids to wear or do there always seems to be a rather heated discussion about what is appropriate. Obviously, all parents have different levels of comfort and different ideas of what is right for their kids (or all kids in some cases)...the problem is when judgmental comments are made...

I think there is a big difference between letting your 9/10 year old walk to a specific destination by themselves and letting them wander around the ship with no restrictions. You are not doing anything wrong
Some people are just not able to relax and enjoy their vacation if their 17 and under child is not constantly being watched by a parent or Club CM and others are ok with giving certain freedoms depending upon the child and age
To each their own.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SapphireMind View Post
Your child is far more likely to molested by a family member or friend than by a stranger. You cannot prevent all bad things from happening to your child, no matter what you do. You can teach them to try and prevent putting themselves in potentially perilous situations, and you can deal with fallout when it happens, but you can't keep them in a bubble either. Well you could I guess, but it wouldn't be good for them either.

Reasonable precautions are reasonable. Every family is going to decide what they think is reasonable and what their child can handle. Some parents will think others are crazy, but in the end, it is their family, not yours. When I was 12, I was allowed to roam freely in the condo complex where we vacationed and literally stay out all night and sleep during the day. (very fair skin and lots of sun didn't mesh well) my parents trusted me not to go to the ocean. They trusted me by the pool and with the friends I met. Tons of bad things could have happened. Likely? not really.

There are people who get molested by doctors. I'm not going to stop seeing doctors. There are people who get molested by teachers. I'm not going to stop sending them to school. On and on. That's my philosophy, ymmv

Pretty much my views as well.
__________________
Laurie (Wonder July 2002, Wonder August 2006, Magic PC Repo August 2008, Wonder July 2009, Magic Baltic July 2010, Dream June 2011, Fantasy June 2012, Magic Med June 2013, Wonder Alaska 2014)
MrsScooby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2013, 10:46 PM   #59
Ofinn
DIS Veteran
 
Ofinn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,237

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonniec View Post
This is simply a curiosity to understand a different opinion and I don't mean it as a judgement, just genuine curiosity.

Those of you who will let them roam the ship at 8-12 years old all say things like "if they are mature enough", "they call immediately on the wave phone when changing locations"', "they check in at certain times". Do you not worry about situations like what just happened with the 11 year old or do you think it's too rare to happen? Just trying to understand the mindset because checking in with you wouldn't stop those situations from happening.

The more I read this thread the more dangerous I think cruise ships can be because clearly, people let heir guard down. What better place for a child molester to work?

On another note, I agree with the curmudgeon, lol. Add me to that list too because I would be annoyed at watched unsupervised kids acting up on the ship. I just don't get why vacation means to stop watching what they do.

Maybe I'm just too overprotective. Apparently DCL thinks it's okay or they wouldn't allow check out privileges or encourage parents to send kids to the MDRs unsupervised. But it just leaves me scratching my head.

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards
I think you might be a tad bit over protective. Like a pp poster said. Most molestations and kidnappings are done by people that know the child. I am way more cautious around neighbors, teachers, coaches, and friends than I am among strangers.

Kids that become unruly when unsupervised probably act the same way when supervised. Parenting issue. Kids should know how to behave without the parents hovering over them.

Your kid probably has a better chance of getting struck by lightning at WDW than they do of getting molested by a stranger on a DCL cruise. So yes I think what happened is an extremely rare event.
__________________
Ofinn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2013, 01:06 AM   #60
luv2sleep
DIS Veteran
 
luv2sleep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 4,765

I don't see how one parent can tell another that they are being over protective. When it's all said and done a parent has to be comfortable and feel that they've done whatever they can to keep them safe. Everyone do what you are comfortable with. If you are comfortable letting your 8 year old sign in and sign out do it. If you aren't comfortable with your 16 year old leaving the clubs or roaming the ship without you then don't let them. I'm an 'overprotective' parent and could care less how anyone feels about that. I won't criticize anyone who does something different though. Live and let live.
__________________

Last edited by luv2sleep; 05-28-2013 at 02:48 AM.
luv2sleep is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
GET OUR DIS UPDATES DELIVERED BY EMAIL



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:26 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.