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Old 05-10-2013, 11:48 AM   #211
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaR View Post
I disagree with this. The best way to handle that is to sit the OP'er down without the doctor in the room and explain what they have decided. If they feel there may be tension, they can set up another meeting to work things out.



I agree. We have no way of knowing what they want. But as we all know, this is a message board and we are simply discussing possible scenarios. Maybe they are promoting the OP'er or giving her a years paid maternity leave for her inconvenience! Who knows?
The money quote. As I said prior, most of this hand wringing is pure speculation and drama. The OP is better off by not listening to what is said here.
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Old 05-10-2013, 11:56 AM   #212
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Hoping the OP is getting through this lunch meeting okay.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:02 PM   #213
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Originally Posted by denisenh View Post
exactly! hard working women and men lose there jobs over situations like this. Those who have experienced it or have seen it happen to others may appear to be overly dramatic to those who haven't, but really, it is out of "earned wisdom sharing" ...not the lack of anything else to do in our own lives but cause drama on an internet discussion board.
maybe OP's situation will be different but there is nothing wrong with keeping in mind the various ways this could play out and how she can "better her own game" and protect herself.
That's right. It is a good thing to be prepared especially when there is drama already in this situation. It's not a bad thing to be prepared for more.

HR stated the policy. It isn't unknown:

Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyingDumbo View Post
I feel I should mention that when this happened on Monday, I was told by HR that if it was an employee then it would be punishable by "termination" and was a "code of conduct" violation. We assumed it was an employee since it happened in the employee parking lot. They did not mention to me that there were security cameras which I had not paid much attention to before. Now they are pretty obvious (doh) I 100% feel that if I did this to HER car I'd have been canned immediately, I think she is getting handled with kid gloves because of her title. When this happened on Monday I was not furious, I was crying. It was not until I saw the video and how callous she was that I got so angry.
HR doesn't appear to be following policy and if that is the case there would be ramifications for HR if it doesn't get straight (ie., getting OP on same page because they aren't doing what they told her they would do). Therefore, this meeting. It isn't about the vehicle.

If HR is squirming over it, it could be a problem for the OP. People have lost jobs over this kind of thing. CYA. Of course there would be some other creative reason given. It happens all the time.

So take it for what it's worth. Some people say "drama", I say reality. It happens. Seems like some people are applying a rational model to an irrational situation. Best not to ignore what has transpired. IMO.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:05 PM   #214
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OP, I would have done everything you are doing in this situation. The doctor made two mistakes; one, she didn't even leave a note on the two cars affected by this accident. And two, she did NOT report it to HR or police. Had the surveillance cameras never identified her, she would have gotten off scott free.

The doctor made choices, and now she has to deal with the consequences. If that means she loses her job, then maybe next time she'll learn to report an accident the next time it happens.

But whatever results from this, should not be a burden placed on the OP. The OP should NOT feel guilty about what happens to the doctor.....whether she loses her job, or whatever. OP has the right to follow through for rectifying the accident and getting justice regardless of what that entails.

OP, hope you keep us updated, and so sorry you have to go through this. Working in a hostile work environment absolutely sucks....been there, but for a different reason than yours.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:13 PM   #215
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The double standard at the OP's workplace stinks.
OP< hope your meeting goes well. I'm with your husband, seek legal counsel. In fact, I wish you had someone with you for your meeting today.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:16 PM   #216
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanchez View Post
The money quote. As I said prior, most of this hand wringing is pure speculation and drama. The OP is better off by not listening to what is said here.
Again, I am in agreement with you.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:19 PM   #217
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A lot of people gave her good advice- told her to go to work, stop contacting HR, let insurance handle it. She asked for advice and people were trying to help.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:32 PM   #218
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Originally Posted by Lorelei Lee View Post
This retaliatory firing is really very hypothetical at this juncture.

Seems to me HR wanted to talk with the OP before OP reported the matter to her insurer, to see if something could be worked out "in house". OP filed an insurance claim and made a police report, she no longer has control over whether the matter gets reported. what else can HR do at this point to protect the doctor?

I'd be more concerned for OP if she didn't go to the meeting, it looks like she's being uncooperative.
But why does she need to cooperate. Technically this has NOTHING to do with the company at all. It was an accident. OP didn't go to HR, Security did. I see this as harassment. The company should be staying out of it completely and letting the police deal with it. They had no right to ask her not to report it, nor do they have an right to expect her to sit down and have a pow wow with them and the doctor. If they're going to involve themselves then OP needs to protect herself.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:33 PM   #219
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Originally Posted by Disney Springs View Post
OP, I would have done everything you are doing in this situation. The doctor made two mistakes; one, she didn't even leave a note on the two cars affected by this accident. And two, she did NOT report it to HR or police. Had the surveillance cameras never identified her, she would have gotten off scott free.


I agree with everything except the word "mistake". The doctor made a conscientious effort to commit a Hit and Run. She is upset now because she got caught.

What kind of person drives away from an accident and doesn't report it? She got out, looked at the damage and drove away. She CHOSE to commit a crime by driving away and pretending it did not happen. She is not a trustworthy person.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:35 PM   #220
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Originally Posted by Wishing on a star View Post
Exactly...
While the OP sounds hormonal and 'dramatic'...
The guilty party here is creating every single bit of the drama.

I have NOT created any drama (as the one poster so clearly accuses).
I have, from the very beginning of this thread, advised the OP to steer clear. As have many others.

And, to those who think that advising the OP to watch her back is creating drama, over-reacting, etc....
Women lose their jobs because of situations like this. All the time.
Situations involving somebody with higher rank, or better consideration with the powers that be. Woman, who, like the OP, truly do need the paycheck to feed their family... the insurance, because they are pregnant or have other medical concerns, etc...

To those who are not seeing the possibility that the OP is in a precarious situation here and needs to proceed carefully, with no personal interaction with the guilty party except for what is necessary. I truly believe that there is a lot here that you are not really seeing.
I think some people are seeing this for what it is -- something that happened to a total stranger that most of us know only from posts on an internet bulletin board. It's a situation none of us saw and that all of us only have one side of. None of us know where she works or what kind of HR department they have or how these things are normally handled in her state / county / city / hospital.

And really ... it was a car accident. Happens, unfortunately, every day. It's why people have insurance. And it happened at work, which is why there are HR departments. All of these conspiracy theories swirling around regarding what the mean doctor and the skeevy HR department are going to try to do to the poor helpless pregnant woman who is being forced to drive a compact car ... Come on people. First-world problems.

OP is a grown-up. But some of you are treating her like a child who has apparently been living under a rock all her life. You're leading her along with suggestion after suggestion and theory after theory and fear after fear. And, I'm sorry Wishing on a star, but I think you DID create drama here. Go back to post #164. You started your post with:

OMG....
I'll bet you have left for work, and this may not get to you.


Which seems to imply that the fact that she's already left for work and this may not get to her means that she won't know what to do without your (or anyone else's) advice.

I imagine OP knows that she "is in a precarious situation here and needs to proceed carefully". Again ... she's an adult. She came here looking for "clarity". Her only question was: "Am I just filled with hormones and are they clouding my judgement?" How'd we get from that relatively simple question to this?

I think that might be what people mean when they say "creating drama".

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Old 05-10-2013, 12:37 PM   #221
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WDSearcher View Post
I think some people are seeing this for what it is -- something that happened to a total stranger that most of us know only from posts on an internet bulletin board. It's a situation none of us saw and that all of us only have one side of. None of us know where she works or what kind of HR department they have or how these things are normally handled in her state / county / city / hospital.

And really ... it was a car accident. Happens, unfortunately, every day. It's why people have insurance. And it happened at work, which is why there are HR departments. All of these conspiracy theories swirling around regarding what the mean doctor and the skeevy HR department are going to try to do to the poor helpless pregnant woman who is being forced to drive a compact car ... Come on people. First-world problems.

OP is a grown-up. But some of you are treating her like a child who has apparently been living under a rock all her life. You're leading her along with suggestion after suggestion and theory after theory and fear after fear. And, I'm sorry Wishing on a star, but I think you DID create drama here. Go back to post #164. You started your post with:

OMG....
I'll bet you have left for work, and this may not get to you.


Which seems to imply that the fact that she's already left for work and this may not get to her means that she won't know what to do without your (or anyone else's) advice.

I imagine OP knows that she "is in a precarious situation here and needs to proceed carefully". Again ... she's an adult. She came here looking for "clarity". Her only question was: "Am I just filled with hormones and are they clouding my judgement?" How'd we get from that relatively simple question to this?

I think that might be what people mean when they say "creating drama".

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Old 05-10-2013, 12:40 PM   #222
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Exactly my point.

Funny how the lawyers on this board are telling her not to "lawyer up".
The reason I thought she should is just to see what all could happen or what to look for. As lawyers, you know if there's anything you could or couldn't do, etc.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:52 PM   #223
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The reason I thought she should is just to see what all could happen or what to look for. As lawyers, you know if there's anything you could or couldn't do, etc.


And just because a "lawyer" is posting on a Disney board that no attorney is needed, well um, I don't know if the OP should abide It's just another opinion.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:57 PM   #224
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I didn't read through every page of this, but in our state, police wouldn't be called necessarily if the "accident" occurred on private property. It is wise to do so for insurance purposes. Our state statute requires an individual driving or operating a motor vehicle on any public or private property to stop after an accident or collision resulting in injury or damage to persons or property when they had knowledge of the accident or collision. They are also required to submit their information within twenty-four hours to a law enforcement officer if they were previously unable to give the information to the owner.

This offense is punishable as a misdemeanor of the first degree or felony of the fifth or third degree. Additionally, the alleged offenders drivers license will be suspended under a class five suspension, which will result in a suspension from at least six months to three years.

Your insurance company will likely try to impose the damages on her insurance company since there is video surveillance, even though it was private property because without her negligence, your car would be fine and it is clearly not. Any contact with her or requests from her to forego her responsibility is highly inappropriate and combative on her part. Hire an attorney to speak for you or at least have one write a letter to her to cease and desist with communicating directly with you and have your insurance company go after hers. That's why they have a million attorneys.

HR isn't living up to their own policies, but that happens. Clearly, she needs to be held accountable. It is unfortunate that all that has gone on has, well, gone on. As a physician, she has taken an oath to first do no harm, that doesn't just count in the operating room. An oath is an oath. She should pay for the damages and she should also be reprimanded for her actions and put on report if they are going to dig their heels in and not fire her per policy.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I would not communicate with her or HR. I would allow mediation only via an external mediator.
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Old 05-10-2013, 02:24 PM   #225
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