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Old 05-09-2013, 03:19 PM   #106
Disney Doll
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OK let's take a step back and breathe....

Your car is damaged.
It is an inconvenience.
The MD was wrong to drive away.
No one was injured. No one was killed.

I would be very careful about playing the "pregnancy/stress/I'm calling out sick" game. That can backfire on you. You don't want people to start thinking you are unstable because of your pregnancy.

You have notified the police, your insurance company and your HR Dept. Let them do their jobs.

If the car rented for you is not acceptable, call whomever you rented the car through (your insurance vs. her insurance) and tell hem that the car is not acceptable because you cannot get in & out of it easily and you'd like a car that's more suitable to your physical needs at the moment.

If the MD approaches you again, simply say to her " I do not wish to discuss this with you and do not want you to try and speak to me again". Make it a very clear statement so that if she tries again AFTER that, then you can start with the harrassment stuff.

Be aware that the MD probably won't get fired, despite what the HR policy says. I assume you work a a hospital, there is a double standard where MDs are concerned and you have to decide how much energy you want to expend on this situation. Sure, if you make enough noise you can probably get her fired. But be VERY aware that YOU will then also be branded a troublemaker and they will be looking for ways to get rid of you.

At the most, if someone contacts you from HR, my statement to them would be "You have written policies in place which guide you as to what should be done in his situation. I assume you will do the right thing and follow YOUR policies".

As far as contacting a lawyer...well, you can certainly do that if it would make you feel better and perhaps the lawyer can give you some guidance on how this thing will probably shake out. But I wouldn't start sic-ing lawyers on anyone unless you need to. Don't tip your hand unless it becomes necessary.

Is the MD harassing you? Well probably not yet. One encounter where she was somewhat desperate to reserve her reputation does not necessarily denote harrassment. If she coninues to approach you, you have more of a case. Just make it quite clear that you DO NOT want to speak to her, period.

Again OP, determine how much of your time, energy and angst this is worth...

It's a car accident, not a cancer diagnosis. Keep your perspective.
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Old 05-09-2013, 03:24 PM   #107
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I say have her fired!!!!! I would!!!
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Old 05-09-2013, 03:27 PM   #108
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disney Doll View Post
OK let's take a step back and breathe....

Your car is damaged.
It is an inconvenience.
The MD was wrong to drive away.
No one was injured. No one was killed.

I would be very careful about playing the "pregnancy/stress/I'm calling out sick" game. That can backfire on you. You don't want people to start thinking you are unstable because of your pregnancy.

You have notified the police, your insurance company and your HR Dept. Let them do their jobs.

If the car rented for you is not acceptable, call whomever you rented the car through (your insurance vs. her insurance) and tell hem that the car is not acceptable because you cannot get in & out of it easily and you'd like a car that's more suitable to your physical needs at the moment.

If the MD approaches you again, simply say to her " I do not wish to discuss this with you and do not want you to try and speak to me again". Make it a very clear statement so that if she tries again AFTER that, then you can start with the harrassment stuff.

Be aware that the MD probably won't get fired, despite what the HR policy says. I assume you work a a hospital, there is a double standard where MDs are concerned and you have to decide how much energy you want to expend on this situation. Sure, if you make enough noise you can probably get her fired. But be VERY aware that YOU will then also be branded a troublemaker and they will be looking for ways to get rid of you.

At the most, if someone contacts you from HR, my statement to them would be "You have written policies in place which guide you as to what should be done in his situation. I assume you will do the right thing and follow YOUR policies".

As far as contacting a lawyer...well, you can certainly do that if it would make you feel better and perhaps the lawyer can give you some guidance on how this thing will probably shake out. But I wouldn't start sic-ing lawyers on anyone unless you need to. Don't tip your hand unless it becomes necessary.

Is the MD harassing you? Well probably not yet. One encounter where she was somewhat desperate to reserve her reputation does not necessarily denote harrassment. If she coninues to approach you, you have more of a case. Just make it quite clear that you DO NOT want to speak to her, period.

Again OP, determine how much of your time, energy and angst this is worth...

It's a car accident, not a cancer diagnosis. Keep your perspective.


Excellent post.
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Old 05-09-2013, 03:31 PM   #109
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Quote:
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Keep your perspective.
I think I told a pregnant woman to keep her perspective once.









Once.
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Old 05-09-2013, 03:33 PM   #110
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Originally Posted by disneyeveryyear
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I do work for an attorney, however I am not one, but here is my take.

1. Hire an attorney.
2. Have your attorney file a Motion to prevent the hospital from altering or destroying or taping over the videos.
3. Have your attorney subpoena those records.
4. Contact your local circuit Clark's office to find out if she received a ticket. If not, push to have a ticket issued. Go to court at her hearing. If there is no complaining witness, it is very easy to get the ticket dismissed. At least that way it will show on her record.

Good luck and best wishes for a happy, healthy baby.
Why?

She has no cause of action and therefore no standing to seek preservation of the evidence. Remember, the property damage is fully insured, she's not even being asked to pay her deductible. The auto insurer is the only party with a cognizable claim. Let them pay counsel to preserve the evidence for their subrogation rights.

I'd agree with you if the alleged harassment was caught on video. It apparently wasn't.

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Old 05-09-2013, 03:38 PM   #111
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Wow - a lot of HR hatin'. We're not that bad
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Old 05-09-2013, 03:48 PM   #112
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OK, I work at a hospital. I am going to break it down for you. Things are not fair. I have no idea what you do for work, but I can tell you this. That Dr will not be getting fired. Anything you do to push the issue will make you look worse. Is it fair? Heck to the NO. But it is reality. A doctor is always going to be put first even when they are wrong. I have seen some crazy stuff in my day. I would be seeing red if that happened to me and I'd have probably gotten myself fired when she got all up in my face in the parking lot. It takes a lot to get me that mad, but this situation I think would do it. I don't blame you for being furious. Which by the way, is there security footage of her doing that in the parking lot? If it is in the same lot as the accident, I would say probably. Go to work tomorrow, and if she comes near you tell her to take a hike or yell for someone to help you. Have a witness present if you speak with her or HR. Always have a witness. I would not bother with HR they are not looking out for you at this point, she is going to be considered the priority. Doctors are not easy to replace. If she has a history of bad behavior or perhaps any prior infractions this might stick to her, but probably not.

PS I would call the insurance company and make sure they secure the video of the accident, and also ask if they can get the video of her speaking to you by your car. Your insurance may provide you legal council if needed.
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Old 05-09-2013, 04:16 PM   #113
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dakcp2001
OK, I work at a hospital. I am going to break it down for you. Things are not fair. I have no idea what you do for work, but I can tell you this. That Dr will not be getting fired. Anything you do to push the issue will make you look worse. Is it fair? Heck to the NO. But it is reality. A doctor is always going to be put first even when they are wrong. I have seen some crazy stuff in my day. I would be seeing red if that happened to me and I'd have probably gotten myself fired when she got all up in my face in the parking lot. It takes a lot to get me that mad, but this situation I think would do it. I don't blame you for being furious. Which by the way, is there security footage of her doing that in the parking lot? If it is in the same lot as the accident, I would say probably. Go to work tomorrow, and if she comes near you tell her to take a hike or yell for someone to help you. Have a witness present if you speak with her or HR. Always have a witness. I would not bother with HR they are not looking out for you at this point, she is going to be considered the priority. Doctors are not easy to replace. If she has a history of bad behavior or perhaps any prior infractions this might stick to her, but probably not.

PS I would call the insurance company and make sure they secure the video of the accident, and also ask if they can get the video of her speaking to you by your car. Your insurance may provide you legal council if needed.
Her insurance company is not going to hire counsel to represent her interests. They only hire a lawyer if you're being sued for something for which they will indemnify you.

It's been my experience that if a prosecutor needs a complaining witness to make a case, the prosecutor will be in touch with the witness and will let the witness know when and where to show up.

It's also been my experience that trying to find out when a traffic violation hearing is on the calendar is very difficult without knowing the ticket number.

Here on Long Island -- if you get a ticket in Suffolk County your hearing will be at the DMV. If you got the ticket in Nassau County you're headed to the county Parking and Violations Agency. In either county, something more onerous than a traffic ticket is venued in District Court.

So there are no one-size-fits- all recommendations here.

Whether I'd show up for a hearing on the traffic violation would depend on whether I was asked to be there, whether the harassment had continued and whether I had calmed down after the car was fixed and paid for.

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Old 05-09-2013, 04:32 PM   #114
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Let the insurance company know you need an SUV, not a compact car. You need to be comfortable.

Write a statement about what happened in the parking lot (Factual, not emotional). Give it to your insurance company, your immediate supervisor or HR. You don't expect any response, you just want them to be aware of the situation. You know they have written guidelines in place and you are confident they will act appropriately.

If she comes up to you at work, you don't have time to talk to her. You have work to do, any contact should be through the insurance company/HR. Let your supervisor/HR know of further contact. Write it down, keep a log. Once you have written it down, let it go. If she comes up to you in the parking lot, ask for a security escort, get a friend to walk with you, etc.

Make sure the insurance company has a copy of the video. It could be important later.
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Old 05-09-2013, 04:44 PM   #115
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disney Doll View Post
OK let's take a step back and breathe....

Your car is damaged.
It is an inconvenience.
The MD was wrong to drive away.
No one was injured. No one was killed.

I would be very careful about playing the "pregnancy/stress/I'm calling out sick" game. That can backfire on you. You don't want people to start thinking you are unstable because of your pregnancy.

You have notified the police, your insurance company and your HR Dept. Let them do their jobs.

If the car rented for you is not acceptable, call whomever you rented the car through (your insurance vs. her insurance) and tell hem that the car is not acceptable because you cannot get in & out of it easily and you'd like a car that's more suitable to your physical needs at the moment.

If the MD approaches you again, simply say to her " I do not wish to discuss this with you and do not want you to try and speak to me again". Make it a very clear statement so that if she tries again AFTER that, then you can start with the harrassment stuff.

Be aware that the MD probably won't get fired, despite what the HR policy says. I assume you work a a hospital, there is a double standard where MDs are concerned and you have to decide how much energy you want to expend on this situation. Sure, if you make enough noise you can probably get her fired. But be VERY aware that YOU will then also be branded a troublemaker and they will be looking for ways to get rid of you.

At the most, if someone contacts you from HR, my statement to them would be "You have written policies in place which guide you as to what should be done in his situation. I assume you will do the right thing and follow YOUR policies".

As far as contacting a lawyer...well, you can certainly do that if it would make you feel better and perhaps the lawyer can give you some guidance on how this thing will probably shake out. But I wouldn't start sic-ing lawyers on anyone unless you need to. Don't tip your hand unless it becomes necessary.

Is the MD harassing you? Well probably not yet. One encounter where she was somewhat desperate to reserve her reputation does not necessarily denote harrassment. If she coninues to approach you, you have more of a case. Just make it quite clear that you DO NOT want to speak to her, period.

Again OP, determine how much of your time, energy and angst this is worth...

It's a car accident, not a cancer diagnosis. Keep your perspective.
I think there is a lot of great advice in this post. I feel for you, but I would strongly advise not to call in sick or claim any kind of stress or illness due to this incident. Continue to go to work, on time, and work your entire shift. If they think you are unbalanced or unprofessional during this conflict- as wrong as that may be- if they think it, you are the one who will suffer, not that idiot doctor. Tell her you will not discuss this matter with her if she approaches you again and go on about your business. I hope you feel better about this soon.
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Old 05-09-2013, 04:59 PM   #116
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I think I told a pregnant woman to keep her perspective once.









Once.
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Old 05-09-2013, 05:01 PM   #117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disney Doll View Post
OK let's take a step back and breathe....

Your car is damaged.
It is an inconvenience.
The MD was wrong to drive away.
No one was injured. No one was killed.

I would be very careful about playing the "pregnancy/stress/I'm calling out sick" game. That can backfire on you. You don't want people to start thinking you are unstable because of your pregnancy.

You have notified the police, your insurance company and your HR Dept. Let them do their jobs.

If the car rented for you is not acceptable, call whomever you rented the car through (your insurance vs. her insurance) and tell hem that the car is not acceptable because you cannot get in & out of it easily and you'd like a car that's more suitable to your physical needs at the moment.

If the MD approaches you again, simply say to her " I do not wish to discuss this with you and do not want you to try and speak to me again". Make it a very clear statement so that if she tries again AFTER that, then you can start with the harrassment stuff.

Be aware that the MD probably won't get fired, despite what the HR policy says. I assume you work a a hospital, there is a double standard where MDs are concerned and you have to decide how much energy you want to expend on this situation. Sure, if you make enough noise you can probably get her fired. But be VERY aware that YOU will then also be branded a troublemaker and they will be looking for ways to get rid of you.

At the most, if someone contacts you from HR, my statement to them would be "You have written policies in place which guide you as to what should be done in his situation. I assume you will do the right thing and follow YOUR policies".

As far as contacting a lawyer...well, you can certainly do that if it would make you feel better and perhaps the lawyer can give you some guidance on how this thing will probably shake out. But I wouldn't start sic-ing lawyers on anyone unless you need to. Don't tip your hand unless it becomes necessary.

Is the MD harassing you? Well probably not yet. One encounter where she was somewhat desperate to reserve her reputation does not necessarily denote harrassment. If she coninues to approach you, you have more of a case. Just make it quite clear that you DO NOT want to speak to her, period.

Again OP, determine how much of your time, energy and angst this is worth...

It's a car accident, not a cancer diagnosis. Keep your perspective.
Exactly what I was thinking.
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Old 05-09-2013, 05:03 PM   #118
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Wow - a lot of HR hatin'. We're not that bad
Maybe where you work, but where I work, HR is THAT BAD. Worse even.
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Old 05-09-2013, 05:07 PM   #119
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Inexcusable, yes.
Despicable yes.
But a civil case since it happened on private property and there were no injuries, so no grounds to arrest her. I'd leave any firing decision up to the company, but that certainly sounds like a firing offense.
It depends on the laws of where the op lives where i live leaving the scene wheather it is on private property or not is a criminal offeense and she could be arested if the victim wanted to press charges.
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Old 05-09-2013, 05:20 PM   #120
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I think wanting her fired is over the top.


I get that she totaled your car, I understand your anger, but no one was bodily injured and this is why we have insurance. People make dumb mistakes, and yes she should have been more concerned, but her position shouldn't be decided by you.

Last edited by runsandjumps; 05-09-2013 at 05:37 PM.
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