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Old 04-22-2013, 03:50 PM   #1
DisneyJillian18
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How do you justify your Disney wedding?

Hello fellow future brides,

First things first, I'm not officially engaged yet, (yes I'm one of those) BUT future fiancé and I have agreed we are getting married, we are just waiting for me to be out of college before moving forward, we have talked about engagement and he keeps telling me it IS coming, he's just making me wait

Next, we both have HUGE families, we are looking at a 500-700 people wedding. We both feel like we want a giant family wedding, us this takes us to our problem.
We originally were going to get married in an outdoor ceremony and then move the reception into the venue. Since realizing we are going to have a giant wedding, we have had to find another venue, the original seats around 500 but 500 is pushing it! We thought of a church, but the churches in our area are being ridiculous. They will only have a wedding at one o' clock on a Saturday and I want my day to in September and with hurricane season they say they might not take me due to the risk of a hurricane hitting. They also won't let me decorate the church! I should also mention that my future DH's uncle is a priest and we have always wanted him to marry us, but he'll only do it at a church! I'm not even engaged yet and I'm already getting upset that our dream wedding is not going for us! So here comes your part! How did you chose a wedding that didn't include everyone from your family. Disney weddings are small, and of course I love Disney and considered at first, but since we wanted a huge wedding it was thrown out

I just feel like an outsiders option might help me, would you change the date of the wedding you've had your heart set on for four years? Would you try to make a small guest list and go with first outside venue? Would you deal with the church's request and have your wedding, and just pray for no hurricanes? Or make a VERY small guest list and get married in Disney while as running the risk of hurricanes. We could get married in our local civic center where we were going to have the reception at if we had a church wedding, we could have the large wedding, but no Uncle as our priest.
Obviously, I have a lot to think about with future hubby, and it is our decision in the end. But I just wanted an outsiders option. Thanks for sticking with me to the end!
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Old 04-22-2013, 06:46 PM   #2
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I am also dealing with this :} I just got engaged and my fiance wants a small wedding with just immediate family, but I want aunts and uncles and cousins there... I am struggling with deciding on a disneyworld wedding vs. disney cruise wedding. Personally I am willing to move the date of the wedding to what suits most people's schedules so they can come and get the best pricing on hotels and airfare.
What is your church's reason for not allowing decorating? I think it would be really special to have your uncle marry you! I think it comes down to how much you are willing to compromise and adjust your dream wedding. If you would be happiest with the large family church wedding where your uncle is the officiant then I would go with that. You can work around the decorating restrictions and the possible weather hindrances. Hope this helps
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Old 04-23-2013, 07:35 AM   #3
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There is always the option of a small, immediate family only wedding at Disney. You can always do a large at home reception or even a "vow renewal" and reception at home after.

For us, it was a no brainer. We knew we wanted a small, intimate wedding with the people who were most important to us there. We didn't feel the need for a large, ballroom type wedding. That type of thing just didn't fit our personalities. Our Escape wedding was the most perfect day of my life. It was exactly what we wanted, and there is nothing that I would change (except maybe DH's best man, but that's a long story).

Regardless of what you decide to do, remember that it is your and DF's day, no one else's. You both want to be able to look back on the day and not have any regrets.
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Old 04-23-2013, 03:23 PM   #4
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For us it was a huge wedding with more people than we wanted to deal with catered to them rather than us or a smaller wedding catered to us where we wanted and a honey moon. That sealed it for us if I'm going to shell out a lot of money for my wedding I'd rather shell it for what I'd like than cater to others and what they'd like getting nit picked over things in the proccess.
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Old 04-23-2013, 03:54 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GrimGrinningVal View Post
I am also dealing with this :} I just got engaged and my fiance wants a small wedding with just immediate family, but I want aunts and uncles and cousins there... I am struggling with deciding on a disneyworld wedding vs. disney cruise wedding. Personally I am willing to move the date of the wedding to what suits most people's schedules so they can come and get the best pricing on hotels and airfare.
What is your church's reason for not allowing decorating? I think it would be really special to have your uncle marry you! I think it comes down to how much you are willing to compromise and adjust your dream wedding. If you would be happiest with the large family church wedding where your uncle is the officiant then I would go with that. You can work around the decorating restrictions and the possible weather hindrances. Hope this helps
I think either wedding you choice would be amazing! I'm being a bit stubborn on the date, it has special meaning to us and we both have always said that would be the day. The church says it's a liability reason, even though we offered to pay for extra insurance. I've thought about it, and I can be a bit less stubborn on the church decorations if it means he would get to marry us. Thank you for the advice, and I hope your wedding is magical once you decide!
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Old 04-23-2013, 03:57 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geek+nerd View Post
There is always the option of a small, immediate family only wedding at Disney. You can always do a large at home reception or even a "vow renewal" and reception at home after.

For us, it was a no brainer. We knew we wanted a small, intimate wedding with the people who were most important to us there. We didn't feel the need for a large, ballroom type wedding. That type of thing just didn't fit our personalities. Our Escape wedding was the most perfect day of my life. It was exactly what we wanted, and there is nothing that I would change (except maybe DH's best man, but that's a long story).

Regardless of what you decide to do, remember that it is your and DF's day, no one else's. You both want to be able to look back on the day and not have any regrets.
My mother and I discussed this option today over lunch, we think it would be awesome! I cried just talking about it with her! I never thought it would be possible for me to get married in Disney, but I've realized it's DF and I's day, not everyone else's, if they love us they will come, if not see you when we get back! If you don't mind me asking, which Escape location did you chose? Was it hard planning a wedding from another state? I would be so nervous that I wasn't hands on planning, but I guess letting someone else stress would be a nice!
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I've eaten at 21 out of 87 quick service/counter service restaurants at Walt Disney World (24%)
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Old 04-23-2013, 03:59 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dewingedpixie View Post
For us it was a huge wedding with more people than we wanted to deal with catered to them rather than us or a smaller wedding catered to us where we wanted and a honey moon. That sealed it for us if I'm going to shell out a lot of money for my wedding I'd rather shell it for what I'd like than cater to others and what they'd like getting nit picked over things in the process.

I'm starting to feel like this, before I wanted to worry about everyone else. But now I feel it's all about DF and I, which is the way it should be! Thanks for the advice!
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Old 04-23-2013, 04:52 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DisneyJillian18 View Post

My mother and I discussed this option today over lunch, we think it would be awesome! I cried just talking about it with her! I never thought it would be possible for me to get married in Disney, but I've realized it's DF and I's day, not everyone else's, if they love us they will come, if not see you when we get back! If you don't mind me asking, which Escape location did you chose? Was it hard planning a wedding from another state? I would be so nervous that I wasn't hands on planning, but I guess letting someone else stress would be a nice!
I had sooooo much fun planning our Escape wedding. I had a lot picked out and decided before we could even submit our LOA. My planner wasn't the best at answering emails, but was great overall. There was a delay in emails because the planners are often out of the office at ceremonies. However, she usually answered within a week ( I was just being Type A and wanted immediate responses!)

We were married at the WP with the cake cutting at the GF. We did a lunch for everyone off property at a gourmet Mexican restaurant (we knew we wanted Mexican food because that it was we had on our first date). We also went to DTD with some family members and rode Characters in Flight in our wedding clothes. We had a dessert party at Morocco that night. An amazing day! DH keeps asking me when we can do it again; I see a vow renewal in our future!
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Old 04-23-2013, 11:06 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DisneyJillian18 View Post

I think either wedding you choice would be amazing! I'm being a bit stubborn on the date, it has special meaning to us and we both have always said that would be the day. The church says it's a liability reason, even though we offered to pay for extra insurance. I've thought about it, and I can be a bit less stubborn on the church decorations if it means he would get to marry us. Thank you for the advice, and I hope your wedding is magical once you decide!
I'm a cantor at a Catholic Church-- I've never hear of churches denying couples because of liability issues, though we're not in a big hurricane area (not a hard and fast rule-- thanks, Sandy). Anyway the reason I'm writing is because often couple with religious convictions who also want to do a destination wedding often have their Catholic ceremonies first or after, that way they can have the best of both worlds. I know Disney works with brides who have catholic ceremonies in churches and just receptions at the World- but if you want to have your uncle marry you in the Catholic Church after (or before) your Disney wedding, do it!!!

I think it's a good solution for Catholic brides--- you can't have a Catholic wedding unless you're in a Catholic Church. It can be very serious for some families!
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Old 04-24-2013, 10:41 PM   #10
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I like the idea of just inviting those extremly close and having a 2nd wedding or reception when we get home. When we were planning on the escape wedding we were going to host a wedding send off reception for those we couldn't invite
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Old 04-25-2013, 08:58 AM   #11
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We are having a Memories wedding at the Polynesian Resort this September.
Thats us and 4 other guests.

We are keeping the ceremony intimate, just my parents and his dad and brother. And our 2 year old

Then when we get back home (we live in UK) We are having a party to celebrate 150 people max. I won't be inviting everyone I know, closest family and friends only. I couldnt afford anything bigger. How Iam decided who comes and who doesnt? - Iam going through my list and asking myself - Are these people active in my life, do they send me christmas cards, do they ever invite me to their house etc.

My future hubby has this uncle who I despise, he called me a psycho behind my back and I really dont want him there. Hubby to be agrees he hates him Don't want any 2-faced people there. I want people there who will be genuinely happy for the 2 of us and wont be making snide remarks about the food, the music, the venue etc. I couldn't justify spending money on food and entertainment for someone I hate
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Old 04-25-2013, 09:59 AM   #12
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For us, if we have the wedding at home, it would be rather large. DF doesn't want a large wedding (he has borderline social anxiety). Big problem. So, well before we got engaged, we played around with DFTW. We jokingly said we should get married at Disney! DF wasn't a Disney fan at all, until he went with me and my mom in Feb 2012. His next trip with us was for my birthday (where he proposed!!!) and he bought and AP! Talk about being won over!

Once we got engaged, most people were not surprised that Disney would be an option. As much as I'd want a big Wishes wedding, we couldn't swing it (family money issues... I'm paying for the wedding myself). We are doing an Escape wedding with just family. His immediate family is bigger than mine (he has 2 sisters, married with kids, and I'm an only child), but it worked out. We had to make rules, like no cousins invited, as we wouldn't be able to have all our cousins, and we didn't want to hurt too many feelings. Once people realized that we weren't inviting them because we didn't like them or we didn't want them there, they understood. No friends are coming, which hurt some, but saying its only family, they come around and are nice about it. Our wedding is in October, during hurricane season and I don't care!

We are having a rather large reception when we get back, so people can celebrate with us.

Neither of us would have been 100% happy if we had the whole thing here... My heart was set on a Disney wedding. It all comes down to who are you trying to please.... Go with your dream wedding, whatever that may be. Don't regret anything.
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Old 04-25-2013, 08:17 PM   #13
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We actually had a Disney wedding for the fact that we would have had to invite over 300 people. I'm from NJ and DH is from VA and we both have huge families, work colleagues and friends, forget about it. We also paid for the wedding ourselves. I had no problem letting people know that we are paying for the wedding and we didn't want to invite a lot of people. I know it sounds rude, but you will reach a point when you just do not care what other people (especially the families) want and think. At one point my MIL wanted to invite their whole church and DH was like "absolutely not". We invited 128 and had 70. It was perfect. A lot of our family told us they couldn't afford it before the invitations went out, so we had a ball park figure of who was going to be able to make it. The bottom line is, it's your day, you need to do what's best for the 2 of you. Those who you will want to be there, will find a way to be there. If you send STDs a year in advanced, people have a year to save up...
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Old 05-02-2013, 05:07 PM   #14
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I have the very same dilemma and I am also not yet engaged. We both have huge (catholic) families so it will be several hundred most likely if we had a wedding here. I've always wanted to get married in our church but he doesn't and wants an outdoor wedding. And I'm told we just need to compromise-- so my idea of a compromise was outdoor at Disney because it's simply my favorite place in the world. Unfortunately for me, he has never been to Disney and does not share the same enthusiasm. I'd love to be able to go there for a small wedding for a few reasons, I truly am not that close with most of my family. My parents both love Disney, and his parents both love Florida. And then we could each have the best man and MOH and my best friend is down for it because hello-- we'd be able to do the bachelorette party at Disney. How fun! Everyone gets a vacation and we'd be able to go straight into the honeymoon which I've been begging to have at Disney anyways and then we could come home for a giant reception.

My main concern is offending people by not having them at my wedding. I know I should be thinking about what makes us happy and not necessarily everyone else but if you knew my family you'd definitely get what I meant. Plus I've always thought of having a big wedding to taking it down to 8-10 people total is crazy to me. I say do whatever makes you two the happiest! (easier said than done, I know.) No matter what you do you'll never please everyone. It's your day. Make it the best! And what better way than to tie the not at the happiest place on earth!? =P
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Old 05-04-2013, 02:44 PM   #15
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We ran into a similar issue as well. My family's huge, and my side alone would've been a couple hundred guests. My wife's family is scattered along the east coast, and would've been about 100. However, with all my family in Texas and hers on the east coast, we didn't know how to accommodate everyone so it'd be fair, distance-wise.

So, we just decided to do a Disney wedding and invite 13 family members. My mom wasn't happy at first, but since my wife and I were paying for this ourselves, she had to deal with it, haha.

Mum got over it pretty quickly and everyone had a great time.

Sometimes you gotta change your plans to go with what's best for you. No matter what, it'll be a memorable day.
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