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Old 04-27-2013, 09:39 AM   #211
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Originally Posted by shoney View Post
I agree. If the policy exists, it should be enforced.
Totally agree on this.

When my son was in kindergarten, my daughter was a newborn. The teacher said no siblings at the class party with the parents who came to help. I had hoped to bring her sleeping in her car seat. I double checked with the teacher who said sorry, but no. So I got my mom to come over and babysit. To give you an idea what a big deal this was, my son is now a senior about to graduate. And that is the only time I can remember my mom coming to my house to babysit. Then when I got to school, I found several other parents had not double checked, and just brought their other kids. And were allowed to stay. That was just wrong.

Fast forward to middle school. My daughter is in 6th grade. Dress code says shorts must be past their fingertips. While we don't allow her to wear short shorts, none of hers were past her fingertips. So we went out and hunted down all new shorts before school started. What a waste of time, effort and money. NONE of the girls wear shorts actually longer than their fingertips. And nobody ever gets sent home.

So what do I take from these experiences? Our school rules must really just be "suggestions". And I will adjust accordingly.
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Old 04-27-2013, 01:39 PM   #212
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Originally Posted by Mkrop View Post
In all the years I attended Catholic school, and my kids have attended Catholic school, hardly any time was spent policing the uniforms, there werent options, you wore what was required. There are more problems in the schools on the occasional dress down day, esp with the girls. Although I did have two teachers in high school who seemed to make it their life's mission to police the uniforms. Other than that, no additional time is spent on uniforms bc rarely do people not follow it. I love uniforms!
It seems to come down to administrative attitudes. My girls go to a Catholic school where uniforms are a non-issue - as long as there are no obvious violations the dress code never comes up. My older daughter has had days where she forgot her belt or threw on socks that were too short to comply with code, but they let those things slide. In talking with other parents at sporting events I've discovered it isn't that way in all Catholic schools in our area. One was saying they have a teacher who checks the length of the girls' skirts every morning, another was complaining about her daughter getting in trouble repeatedly for things like her socks and hair ties, and another said she had to bring her DD nail polish remover because she went to school still wearing a bright color she'd worn over the weekend.
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:54 PM   #213
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Originally Posted by Tpiejg View Post
.... Besides we pay our taxes which pays the teachers salaries to do what we want in our schools not the other way around.


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One last thing. My son was left behind in Worchester Ma., while on a field trip. The teacher was aware that they were short two student but left anyway. They assumed He must have gone home with another parent, but never checked. My son called me on his cell phone telling me they had left him behind, he had gone to the restroom with a friend and when he came out he couldn't find his school group. It was a robotics competition, with many schools attending. If I had been there it wouldn't have happened.
Hmmm... Mom doesn't respect teachers, so ....


The last field I chaperoned for my older son wasn't my idea. My 8th grader (at that time) came home and said, "Oh, Mr. C said he needs you to chaperone. He said to tell you this is the worst class he's ever had, it's a required field trip, and he needs you." OK I used to teach in the same building with Mr. C, so the message didn't surprise me, but I thought he should have emailed me instead of trusting my son to remember to tell me. We teach in the same district. We get two personal days per year. I had to use one of my personal days even though I was in an official capacity. I'm glad I went, but was certainly work.

When my youngest was in elementary school, I basically became a para pro on field trips. If I would agree to go (sometimes I was called the night before), the proposal was that I only had three kids max, one would be mine, I would ride the bus to help the teacher, and my way would be paid. The "regular" chaperones had to pay their own way and usually drove their own cars (by choice) . In exchange, I usually had a wonderful day with some very high energy kids prone to running at a moment's notice if something caught their eye. One year I think I went on every field trip because I was teaching part-time and the field trips were the half-day I was available.

Field trips at the middle school level are very rare for us now. Back in the days when our district could afford trips, we used to plan a special outing for kids as a reward. If I remember correctly, they earned the free trip by not having any missing assignments for the nine-week marking period, less than three tardies per class, and no office referrals. It was a big deal and a nice effort reward for middle school kids, especially the ones who struggled academically. Well, there were some students who didn't earn the reward and were told they couldn't go. Instant indignation. "You can't tell my child he can't go! It's a public place!" They called their children in absent, beat the bus there, had a great day with the friends who earned the trip, and stayed after the other kids had to leave on the bus. Consequence for those kids? Nothing really. Consequence for the school? We haven't had a reward field trip since.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:49 AM   #214
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Originally Posted by Tpiejg View Post
I have to say I am the extreme opposite of going along with the school, especially when it comes to my children. I believe I have final say as to what happens with my kids and take very unkindly to someone that tells me other wise. I don't understand why anyone would think someone knows what is best or could love them more than me. This particular policy isn't even about what is best for the kids but what is more convienent for the teachers. Besides we pay our taxes which pays the teachers salaries to do what we want in our schools not the other way around.
You should probably home school your children.

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I totally understand the policy. When a field trip is planned, a certain number of chaperones are needed. The students are divided up and each chaperone is given x number of students to be responsible for. Chaperone is given the rules, the times to meet, etc. Students are told that the chaperone is in charge and to listen to him/her. Teacher and chaperones, in this day and age, probably have each other's cell phone numbers as well so they can be in touch as needed.

So, then you have a mom or dad show up who isn't a chaperone and that changes the dynamics of the group the mom/dad's student is in. A younger child will want to be with mom and may not listen to the chaperone any longer. Student could get whiny, want mom/dad to take him/her to another place, buy them something, take him/her to restroom now instead of at a break time, etc. Or mom/dad could decide they want to spend more time at the bear exhibit instead of moving on to the lions as planned. Then what does the chaperone do? He/she is responsible for the child on the field trip, so either the whole group waits or chaperone has to override mom/dad which could cause conflict.

There is a reason this policy was developed/changed. If you don't like it, don't let your child go on the field trip and keep them home that day. You can take them to the zoo another time.

And, yes, the school cannot keep you from going to a public place, but you can't be a part of the field trip and you shouldn't try to crash it. Think of how difficult you could make if for your child if you are there and he/she wants to be with you but can't as he/she must stay with the group/chaperone. Do you want your child to be upset or have a meltdown or create problems? I have seen it where parents would show up and "join the group, you won't notice me" and then try and take over the group or tell Suzie that she can run over to that exhibit when she was told no by the chaperone already. It can confuse the students as to who is in charge of their group or cause the group to waste time looking and waiting for a student.

There will be plenty of field trips in the future years and you will get to be a chaperone on one of them. While you may have really wanted to go on this one, you weren't selected. So accept it gracefully.
Completely agree with everything you posted.

I can take a pretty good guess as to why they're changing the school policy. It's because of overbearing helicopter parents that can not allow their children to become independent.

I work with children. Overbearing, helicopter parents are not doing their children any favors. They are hindering their individual growth to become independent.

If you are unable to chaperone the scheduled field trip but feel strongly about watching your child experience the zoo, museum or wherever they are going then take them on a different day. In fact, take them on a different day after their school field trip and let them lead you on your very own "special field trip". I'm sure they'd feel pretty special showing you all the things they learned on their school field trip.
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Old 04-28-2013, 10:11 AM   #215
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To the person who said that as a taxpayer, the teachers work for you:

I have no children currently in school. However over 1/2 of my tax bill every year goes to the local public school system. So I guess that means that the teachers work for me, and the other 2/3 of the town who have no children in school. So we can go to the school board meetings and have our say in what happens to these kids that aren't ours right? Because without our tax dollars, there wouldn't be enough money for the schools to exist. So the pesky school busses running in front of my house twice a day are bugging me. I should start going to the meeting and telling the district to stop bus service, and they have to listen, because I pay their salaries right?

Seriously though, that post is one of the most infuriating posts I've ever seen.

Yes, parents know what is best for their kids. But if we don't quit making it so difficult for teachers, there aren't going to be enough of them left to teach. I know of 3 them who are leaving the profession at the end of the year because the parents and administration are making their jobs miserable for crappy pay. And I know of several more who are considering it.
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Old 04-28-2013, 12:28 PM   #216
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Originally Posted by MELSMICE View Post

I can take a pretty good guess as to why they're changing the school policy. It's because of overbearing helicopter parents that can not allow their children to become independent.
I bet you are right. I also bet they want to be able to thoroughly check everyone who is on the trip with the children. They have no way of knowing every possible relative that may decide they should just show up an tag along.

I can't help but think the parents who believe they deserve to be able to tag along on field trips are the same parents who sit at the back of the class, because their little precious simply needs to see that mommy is in class with them.
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Old 04-28-2013, 12:48 PM   #217
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SMH at some of the responses in this thread...

Seriously people, let the schools do their job
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Old 04-28-2013, 02:14 PM   #218
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I can't help but think the parents who believe they deserve to be able to tag along on field trips are the same parents who sit at the back of the class, because their little precious simply needs to see that mommy is in class with them.
I have no doubt these are the same parents that sit at the back of the classroom.

I have instituted a new security policy for my dance recital this year. Volunteers ONLY are allowed in the dressing. For security reasons, parents are not allowed to come and go as they please during show time. Children will need to be signed in. Parents will have a security pass that will be used to pick up their child after the show.

There are a few moms totally flipping out because they don't think their child can change their costumes themselves. We have volunteers to help them do this. Some of these kids are 10, 11 and 12 years old. Parents have the option to volunteer, however, the complainers don't want to. They just want to be able to come and go as they please.

I am responsible for these children. I can not take the chance of someone walking in our dressing rooms and taking a child or a non-custodial parent taking them. They will either have to adhere to the policy or their child will not be able to perform this year.
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Old 04-28-2013, 03:26 PM   #219
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I am responsible for these children. I can not take the chance of someone walking in our dressing rooms and taking a child or a non-custodial parent taking them. They will either have to adhere to the policy or their child will not be able to perform this year.
So YOU want to do what's right to protect the kids' safety, and the helicopter moms what to do what's more convenient for THEM.

Isn't it amazing that, instead of thanking you for keeping their kids safe, they're fighting you on it???
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Old 04-28-2013, 03:46 PM   #220
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So YOU want to do what's right to protect the kids' safety, and the helicopter moms what to do what's more convenient for THEM.

Isn't it amazing that, instead of thanking you for keeping their kids safe, they're fighting you on it???
There are some definitely fighting me on this. One mom has said she will not turn in her form and sign off on the policy. I'm not sure if she understands that her child will be unable to perform without this. She also told me flat out that if she was not allowed to go in, she was doing to storm the dressing room. I told her (in front of others) that as a mature adult I would hope she would make wiser choices than to create a scene in front of other children. Mind you, her daughter will be 12 next month.

One mom told me she would volunteer, get the t-shirt, make sure was in the dressing room for one show but wear the shirt during the others to make sure she has access to the rooms for the other shows. Obviously, in addition to each volunteer wearing a white tee to volunteer, they will now be given different identifiers for each individual show.

It's crazy. I am seriously trying to keep their kids safe. They have the opportunity to volunteer. They will still be able to see their child perform, however, I'm still getting all kinds of push back from the helicopter parents. Yes, they want to do what they want to do and screw my rules/policy for safety and everyone else's kids.
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Old 04-28-2013, 06:03 PM   #221
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Originally Posted by MELSMICE View Post
There are some definitely fighting me on this. One mom has said she will not turn in her form and sign off on the policy. I'm not sure if she understands that her child will be unable to perform without this. She also told me flat out that if she was not allowed to go in, she was doing to storm the dressing room. I told her (in front of others) that as a mature adult I would hope she would make wiser choices than to create a scene in front of other children. Mind you, her daughter will be 12 next month.

One mom told me she would volunteer, get the t-shirt, make sure was in the dressing room for one show but wear the shirt during the others to make sure she has access to the rooms for the other shows. Obviously, in addition to each volunteer wearing a white tee to volunteer, they will now be given different identifiers for each individual show.

It's crazy. I am seriously trying to keep their kids safe. They have the opportunity to volunteer. They will still be able to see their child perform, however, I'm still getting all kinds of push back from the helicopter parents. Yes, they want to do what they want to do and screw my rules/policy for safety and everyone else's kids.
How very sad it would be if their daughters were unable to perform, simply because mom was too obsessed to sign a form meant to ensure her safety.

I really feel for the kids of these psychomoms. I've taught one or two in my time, and it breaks my heart. And by the time they get to 17 or 18, it isn't pretty.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:22 PM   #222
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How very sad it would be if their daughters were unable to perform, simply because mom was too obsessed to sign a form meant to ensure her safety.

I really feel for the kids of these psychomoms. I've taught one or two in my time, and it breaks my heart. And by the time they get to 17 or 18, it isn't pretty.
It's very sad. :-(
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:26 PM   #223
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Originally Posted by StitchesGr8Fan View Post
To the person who said that as a taxpayer, the teachers work for you:

I have no children currently in school. However over 1/2 of my tax bill every year goes to the local public school system. So I guess that means that the teachers work for me, and the other 2/3 of the town who have no children in school. So we can go to the school board meetings and have our say in what happens to these kids that aren't ours right? Because without our tax dollars, there wouldn't be enough money for the schools to exist. So the pesky school busses running in front of my house twice a day are bugging me. I should start going to the meeting and telling the district to stop bus service, and they have to listen, because I pay their salaries right?

Seriously though, that post is one of the most infuriating posts I've ever seen.

Yes, parents know what is best for their kids. But if we don't quit making it so difficult for teachers, there aren't going to be enough of them left to teach. I know of 3 them who are leaving the profession at the end of the year because the parents and administration are making their jobs miserable for crappy pay. And I know of several more who are considering it.
I hate the whole "I'm paying your salary" nonsense. No matter what you do for a living in some way the public is paying your salary.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:53 PM   #224
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I hate the whole "I'm paying your salary" nonsense. No matter what you do for a living in some way the public is paying your salary.
Exactly. Thank you.
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