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Old 04-21-2013, 02:27 AM   #1
Dream39
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Help! Should we cancel? :/

Hi,my husband and I (no kids) have a 7 day trip planned for next month. I know it's very soon but now we are thinking of pulling out..his Grandma has stage 4 lung cancer..was being treated with chemo & radiation these past 2 years and for the most part doing well considering. Well just 2 weeks ago she had to go into the hospital recently bc chemo was making her very sick so it was decided she will no longer be treated,basically meaning she will have hospice care. Cancer had not been aggressive as of yet. I know my husband is worried for her. Although they don't think she will pass before or during our trip I am thinking he may be worried & not enjoy himself. It is only for a week & I don't want to cancel but I also want to consider his feelings. We've both been looking forward to this but not sure what to do now. Yes we have insurance. Confused?? :/ help..
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Old 04-21-2013, 03:00 AM   #2
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Hi,my husband and I (no kids) have a 7 day trip planned for next month. I know it's very soon but now we are thinking of pulling out..his Grandma has stage 4 lung cancer..was being treated with chemo & radiation these past 2 years and for the most part doing well considering. Well just 2 weeks ago she had to go into the hospital recently bc chemo was making her very sick so it was decided she will no longer be treated,basically meaning she will have hospice care. Cancer had not been aggressive as of yet. I know my husband is worried for her. Although they don't think she will pass before or during our trip I am thinking he may be worried & not enjoy himself. It is only for a week & I don't want to cancel but I also want to consider his feelings. We've both been looking forward to this but not sure what to do now. Yes we have insurance. Confused?? :/ help..
First off my thoughts are with you. This stage of cancer is very heart breaking and confusing. We went through this with my mother and after the halt to treatment and hospice it was almost 6 months before her passing. On the other hand with my grandpa he died due to a heart attack and not necessarily the cancer. Unfortunately you can never really tell how long these things will take.

The trip might be exactly what your husband needs. If the doctors believe it wot happen before or during then I say plan to go away as an escape from these hard times. Then use the trip insurance to come back if need be or if you get word a few days before that it may be soon. Also go visit we and allow your husband to say goodbye just in case right before the trip. This way there is no doubt he at least will know that she was aware he loves her.

(Edited because I saw you said we so I'm sure you've talked to him)
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Old 04-21-2013, 04:09 AM   #3
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cancer can be tricky -
mother has alzheimers - she is in a nursing home - in 2008 she was also diagnois w/skin cancer. She should be dead - she is doing just fine. She does not know she has skin cancer - it would just upset her. the doctors have no ideal how she is living.

so you can't always tell with cancer.

she may live a few months - or she like my mother might live for years.

the most upset or nervous she gets the more brain cell dies. So there is a good reason for not telling her.

Hope you and your husband decide between you what is the best thing to do.

if he is going to worry the whole time about hie grandmother - then don't think it would be the fun trip that I think you want.
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Old 04-21-2013, 11:42 AM   #4
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There's really no way of knowing. My father was transported from a hospital to hospice care while I was in Disney World in 2011, and he died the day after I got back. The doctors had told us he'd have months, so you never know.
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Old 04-22-2013, 09:57 AM   #5
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I think the best answer is to leave this decision up to your husband.
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Old 04-22-2013, 01:06 PM   #6
Dream39
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Thank you all so much for your replies & your concern. Seeing all your input I think has brought me more clarity on things..It is probably true that we will not enjoy ourselves as we should with this going on (esp. my husband). Even though his grandma may be ok through the trip I don't think we want memories of a vacation where we were both worried instead of relaxed. :/ I know nothing is in our control as far as gram goes either way,but maybe cancelling would bring peace of mind. As much as I would love to go (been wanting this for years) I'm sure we're better off going at a different time. Hopefully we'll go in the future. Thank you all!
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Old 05-05-2013, 07:34 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dream39 View Post
Hi,my husband and I (no kids) have a 7 day trip planned for next month. I know it's very soon but now we are thinking of pulling out..his Grandma has stage 4 lung cancer..was being treated with chemo & radiation these past 2 years and for the most part doing well considering. Well just 2 weeks ago she had to go into the hospital recently bc chemo was making her very sick so it was decided she will no longer be treated,basically meaning she will have hospice care. Cancer had not been aggressive as of yet. I know my husband is worried for her. Although they don't think she will pass before or during our trip I am thinking he may be worried & not enjoy himself. It is only for a week & I don't want to cancel but I also want to consider his feelings. We've both been looking forward to this but not sure what to do now. Yes we have insurance. Confused?? :/ help..
Have you ask your husband his thoughts on the matter. Is his grandmother someone you saw on a regular basis? Was she in his life on a daily basis, or just during the holidays. I would not cancel. Life must go on.
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Old 05-05-2013, 12:14 PM   #8
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It's a tough decision and there are clearly different opinions on this. I would suggest re-scheduling the trip for some other time -- not just cancelling it.
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